Monterey, CA — In a hair-raising breakthrough, scientists at the Monterey Bay Aquarium have successfully hatched the previously extinct wooly sunfish, or Woola woola.
“We’re so excited to finally let our hair down about this research,” said Harriett Topay, the lead scientist on the project. “After numerous breakthroughs in raising comb jellies, we knew we were groomed for success with the wooly sunfish.”
“The science was patchy to say the least,” said Will Koife, one of the aquarists on the project. “But after brushing up on the few trimmings of data we could find, everything sorta gelled.”
Woola woola, the only known member of its genus, once swam in the frigid waters of an ancient ocean far chillier than it is today. Subsisting on a diet of mullet and ctenophores, its shaggy, rugged pelt provided extra insulation on deeper dives.
According to a thin fossil record, the wooly sunfish went extinct sometime after the last Ice Age. But a recent discovery of some permafrosted tips of Woola fur with viable DNA gave the wooly sunfish a chance at recovery.
“It was a close shave for the Woola, for sure, but we’ll see if they can make the cut this time,” said Will.
The resurrection of the Woola has caused a few vocal critics to curl. “This research is really fringe, and not in a good way,” said Dr. E.N. Malcomb, a notable de-extinction buzzkill. “I don’t want to split hairs on ethics, but with the Woola, there’s been a lotta coulda, and not a lotta shoulda.”
Dr. Malcomb continued: “But then again, the return of the wooly sunfish could just be a bald-faced lie—and based on today’s date, I think that’s a safe bet.”
Magic: the Gathering is a great game, but it can be incredibly daunting and overwhelming to try to get into due to the sheer size of the game and the number of possible starting points.
So! I figured I’d write up something about a number of different ways to get started, what products to look into when you’re starting out, what formats exist, etc. I won’t be covering the game rules here, since there are tons of rules guides out there already, but rather a number of different ways that one can go about getting into the game.
As far as learning the actual rules goes, experience is the best teacher. The ideal way to learn the game is generally to have a friend who already plays teach you by walking you through a few practice games, but unfortunately that isn’t always an option. However, there are plenty of products designed to help introduce new players to the game! Maybe too many, as the number of possible options can be a bit daunting, and it’s difficult to look into them in depth if you don’t already know the game. The main options currently available are:
Welcome Decks: MSRP $0.00. These are preconstructed 30-card decks designed to introduce new players to magic, with each deck coming with a rules reference card to teach you the basics of the game, and, most importantly, they’re free to new players at almost all gaming stores.
Spellslinger Starter Kit: MSRP $14.99. This is a pack of two 60-card preconstructed decks that, in addition to the usual rules insert, comes with a sort of “tutorial mode”--both decks are pre-shuffled for your first game, and each come with a quick-start guide essentially telling each player what to do in this first, scripted game, in order to demonstrate the rules of the game. While I haven’t personally played around with the starter kit, this does seem like a pretty neat concept. The kit also includes a couple of turn structure reminder cards, pictured here, which I think is very handy!
Deck Builder’s Toolkit: MSRP $19.99. Another starter product, this one doesn’t come with any proconstructed decks, but rather 125 pre-determined cards, 100 basic lands, four booster packs, a deck-building guide, a rules insert, and a deck box. As the name suggests, this is a good way to start building decks, or to use to modify and enhance preconstructed decks. The 100 basic lands are also quite useful for new players, and the deck box that it all comes in is really nice as well. And of course there are also the four 15-card booster packs, which will provide you with more cards to play around with, and I mean, let’s be honest: opening booster packs is a lot of fun.
Game Night Box Set: MSRP $39.99. This comes with five 60-card preconstructed decks, with the idea of being more multiplayer oriented rather than standard 1v1 games.
Planeswalker Decks: MSRP $14.99. Each Planeswalker Deck contains one 60-card preconstructed, a rules guide, and two booster packs. While they’re advertised as a product that’s ideal for new players, I feel like planeswalkers themselves are a bit complicated for when you’re still just starting out. Still, they’re neat decks, and the fact that they each come with a foil planeswalker unique to the Planewalker Deck is very nice.
Once you’ve learned the basic rules, there are many different formats in which mtg can be played, divided into two categories--Constructed and Limited. In Constructed formats, you build your deck ahead of time and bring it to the event; in Limited formats, you build your deck during, and as part of, the event. The main formats are
Casual/Kitchen Table: While this isn’t an official tournament format, it’s still a great way to play! Just build 60-card decks and play them with your friends, basically. Maybe your deck is a preconstructed deck straight from the box, or a preconstructed deck that you’ve modified some, or a deck you’ve built entirely from scratch. This is the format that most mtg players play, and it’s all just a lot of fun with friends.
Constructed Tournament Formats: There are a number of constructed tournament formats, differentiated by what sets they allow cards from. Standard allows only cards from sets printed in the past two years, and cards are regularly rotating in and out of Standard with each new release. Modern allows cards printed from 2003 onward. Vintage and Legacy allow basically all cards from throughout the game’s history.
Sealed: A Limited format in which you build a 40-card deck out of the contents of six booster packs. You can buy packs to play Sealed with friends at home, or you can attend Sealed tournaments where you buy the packs at the event. Sealed is probably the most casual of all tournament formats, and is often geared towards newer players, with the most popular Sealed events being the quarterly Prerelease events for each new set.
Draft: Another Limited format, in which you build a 40-card deck out of booster packs that are passed around the table (you open a pack, pick a card, and pass it to the next player. Pick up the pack that was just passed from you, pick a card, and pass it, etc). Most gaming stores host weekly Drafts every Friday, and it’s one of my favorite formats for a lot of reasons--it’s interesting and different every week, it allows you to utilize cards that you wouldn’t think twice about in Constructed formats, it improves your skills as a player, it’s a great way to get new cards since you get to keep all the cards that you pick, etc. The play environment varies from store to store, but in general, Draft tends to be a nice, chill, casual environment. Additionally, experienced players (myself included) who’ve been drafting weekly for years are generally more than happy to give away their commons and uncommons to newer players, which makes it another great way to get new cards.
Commander: Okay. So. Disclaimer that I may be more than a little bit biased here, as Commander is my absolute favorite format, and has been ever since I first learned about it eight years ago. But seriously--Commander is a great format. It’s a casual multiplayer Constructed format, usually played in groups of three to six players. Commander decks are 100-card singleton decks, each built around a specific legendary creature, your commander. As a singleton format, you’re only allowed to have one copy of each card in your deck, as opposed to the usual four copies allowed in other Constructed formats. This, combined with the multiplayer format and the fact that essentially all cards throughout the entire history of the game are legal in Commander, leads to highly variable game experiences, and a lot of weird, silly, ridiculous shenanigans. It’s a lot of fun to play, it’s a lot of fun to build decks, it’s a lot of fun to slowly bling out your decks with foils and alternate art cards and whatnot. It’s just a great format.
This post has already gotten entirely too long, but I figure I should also summarize the main ways in which one can acquire Magic cards, in addition to the previously mentioned starter products, and in addition to buying individual cards from stores/trading for cards with other players:
Core and expansion sets: Magic releases a new Standard-legal set every quarter, with three of those sets being expansion sets, and one (the summer set) being a Core set. Expansion sets are set on specific planes within the Magic storyline and setting, and each set introduces new card mechanics and themes. In contrast, Core sets are much simpler, include more reprints of older cards, are not set on any specific plane, and don’t introduce new mechanics.
Other sets: Magic sometimes prints sets that are not Standard-legal, but still come in booster packs and booster boxes, and are still draftable. These include sets specifically designed for Draft and multiplayer formats, such as Conspiracy and Battlebond, and sets created in order to reprint sought-after cards, such as the Masters series of sets.
Booster packs and booster boxes: Sets are primarily released in the form of booster packs and booster boxes. Each booster pack contains 11 commons, 3 uncommons, and 1 rare or mythic rare (one in every eight packs contains a mythic rare). A booster box contains 36 booster packs. It’s generally going to be more economical to buy each individual card that you want separately, but opening booster packs can be a lot of fun as well.
Commander decks: Every summer, Magic releases a set of four or five preconstructed Commander decks, containing reprints of cards that are popular in Commander, as well as many new cards made specifically for Commander, with many of those cards being very fun legendary creatures with which to build decks around.
Guild Kits: Another set of products currently on the market, with five different guild kits out now and five more to be released in February, each kit is based around one of the ten guilds of Ravnica, one of Magic’s most popular planes. The kits come with guild stickers, a neat little guild pin, and a 60-card deck based around the guild, full of neat reprints from all the previous Ravnica sets. Also, the basic lands in the guild kits have fancy guild-themed borders, which is very exciting, and guild kits in general are very exciting and well worth the $20.00 price tag, and I’m just very excited that WotC finally printed a series of preconstructed decks that are actually good and that reprint cards that are actually very valuable and sought-after, instead of just a bunch of generic dollar rares, which is why I’m bringing up guild kits specifically, as I feel that they’re great for both new and experienced players alike.
And one more thing before I end this far-too-long post, as just a general Magic-playing tip: Card sleeves! Card sleeves both protect your cards from getting damaged, and make shuffling your decks infinitely easier. You can get “penny sleeves” in packs of 100 for $1.00, or you can get other, fancier sleeves for slightly more. Sleeves are so good and so useful and they will make your entire life so much easier.
Anyway! This all got Very Long but hopefully it’s at least somewhat helpful lol, and if anyone has any other questions wrt mtg feel free to let me know!!
the idea that humans are a garbage species is so obnoxious no one talks about the peaceful parts of history and prehistory because they aren’t as exciting as us killing each other but um homo sapiens have been doing awesome things all over for a long time….we survived the fucking ice age…we made it through the sinai desert….we shared the savana with big cats before we ever made a weapon, we wove baskets from literal plants and halved blades from flint to handles we made, carved harpoons from bone and fought megafauna for our loved ones, cooked food and took care of the elderly and buried our dead, painted pictures and shared stories, built homes from clay and mud and straw, made instruments so we could dance and sing…it is so easy to focus on the negative and i get it ok we are in the middle of a mass extinction event that specific humans are at fault for but listen: they don’t want you to remember it hasn’t always been like this…we were and are so much more than evil
Meet James and the Giant Peach (GP, or Jeep for short). They are puppy brothers, and fostering with the Imp and his family. They are now official Pond Puppies, thanks to the Wizzard’s influence, and all they want for New Year’s is a loving home. Check them out! http://brnc.org/index.php
Yesterday at the foster clinic there was a woman with a litter of tiny, tiny kittens, one of whom was a beautiful orange and white creamsicle. I told her, “I love orange boy cats, they are all so stupid.” and the foster mom said to me, with tears of love in her eyes, face glowing with maternal pride, “He is only 6 days old and I can already tell that he’s going to be so stupid!”
This is quite honestly the most exquisite and the most original zodiac-based art I’ve ever seen. I am stunned, and moved in ways I do not entirely understand.
