— BOYS LIKE YOU
— PAIRING: frat president!Lee Heeseung x fem!nerd!reader — SUMMARY: No one, not even you, can figure out why Heeseung's so infatuated with you. Too bad, he's not your type. — WORD COUNT: 16.8k — WARNINGS: college!au, this is a coping mechanism (and a little self-indulgent), reader is described to have glasses and shorter than heeseung, mentions of other HYBE & FNC artists (just piwon), frat!enha, downbad!heeseung (like embarrassingly bad), reader's kind of a jerk but he likes it, chock full of clichés (because they're fun sometimes), grumpy x sunshine, heeseung's so domestic in this (i kind of went crazy but it's chill), slight sunsun & keeung mention, miscommunication (i love it too much), cursing, suggestive themes (no actual smut), a lot of backstory that i promise is important
— A/N: fun fact, this was originally named after a one direction song for obvious reasons but then i changed it since that was too upsetting :(
You weren't the type of girl he hung around.
Being the president of Gamma Kappa Phi Zeta, Heeseung had met all types of girls at parties over the years—you were not one of them.
You weren't a sorority girl like your friends, you weren't rich, you never put too much thought in your clothes, you just wore whatever was clean. You were never invited to the big frat events.
And something told you, you didn't want to be.
They got seriously dangerous sometimes, like people have ended up in the hospital over these parties. Fireworks to the face, people falling off the roof into the parking lot, and a waterboarding that could have easily been avoided.
It was dumb kid stuff, you told yourself.
You didn't need to be included, you were focused on your studies, that's what you told your parents and yourself when you looked out the window with a yearning to be among people your age.
You and Heeseung weren't even supposed to meet, it was just dumb luck.
୨ৎ
"Dumb? No, it was stupid!" Yunjin's voice rings through your room like an alarm. Right now, she's stomping around your room like your mother, picking up all the clothes you couldn't be bothered to pick up.
She always came over at the same time everyday, checking on you to make sure you're still breathing, as if you were some charity case.
You were recounting your day to her when she noticed the clutter. And she rarely could help herself. You didn't feel like doing it and if that's what she wanted to do, that was her problem.
The reason she was calling you stupid? The same one she always got this dramatic over; Mr. Calderon.
Since freshman year, people have been telling you to take his creative writing class if you wanted to get criticism without the gloves.
You wanted to be better so you signed up.
But everyone forgot to mention two things to you; one, he was the meanest motherfucker in the world and two, if you failed his class, it brought your GPA down exponentially.
Two foods that suck together.
It seemed like in the beginning that people had no idea what they were talking about since his first assignments were pretty chill but the further you got in the year, the more he started to shut down your ou there creativity.
Nothing you did was correct.
You didn't use the right formula, there was too many long sentences, your idea didn't make sense to him.
At some point, it felt like he just wanted you to transfer out of his class, he kept trying to scare you off but you kept coming back for your punishment because you didn't know how to quit.
But neither did he.
And that's where today comes in.
Today was a shitshow, your breaking point.
You told him exactly what you thought about his teaching; that it was archaic and stupid and needed fixing. He said tough titties, you joined my class so you had to deal with it.
You called him an evil little fuck who only liked to tear women down and he probably was sad and alone and that's why he acted this way.
He didn't like that.
He wanted to give you a detention but then he realized this was college and he couldn't do that.
So he gave you the next best thing.
Sanctioned tutoring.
You brought this upon yourself, you knew that.
Yunjin was just reminding you.
"Mr. Calderon has too much patience with you. You're lucky all you got was stuck with Riki. You could have gotten booted from the class. This is like your last straw." She scoffs, almost mirroring his pain.
As if your punishment needed to be any worse than it already was, you didn't just have to tutor some dumb boy, it was a dumb frat boy who apparently has a body count so high, he should be a walking STD.
And of course, Yunjin was on your oppressor's side. She had a crush on him for as long as you've been under his rule (in his class).
"You should be nicer to that man. He is too fine to be getting wrinkles this early." She wiggled her eyebrows at you.
You don't even realize the grimace on your face.
"Are you seriously still on this? I thought we were past it."
She plopped down onto your bed, exhausted from the job she assigned herself. You had to give it to her, it had only been a few minutes and your room actually looked neat for once.
"Never."
Silence falls between you. You let it, you both needed it after the days you had. Her more than you since your pain was self-inflicted.
She breaks it first, her loud groan echoing off your walls from it being extremely empty. "So when are you going over?"
You return to the obligatory conversation you and Riki had earlier.
You had to do most of the talking since he decided now was the time he wanted to be silent out of spite. You asked him what time he'd be free, the only answer you got was a groan.
"Look, Icky, I don't want to do this any more than you do. But I'm coming by. You can give me a time or I can just show up whenever I want. Your choice."
He rolled his eyes but reluctantly, he told you to come by at 7.
You checked your phone before turning to your friend who was making herself too comfortable in your bed right now. You kicked her.
She pushed you back and that cued you both to get out of the bed.
You were going the same way, so why not walk together? It also didn't help that Yunjin was on the search for Jake. The reason? She wouldn't say, she just looked very suspicious, stalking like she was looking for prey.
As president, Heeseung's days aren't anything less than exciting. From the moment he woke up, he was already putting out fires left and right.
He opened his eyes to Jake standing at the edge of his bed, looking like he was about to say he threw up. He immediately closed them back.
"What happened now?" His voice hoarse but he never lets that stop him from talking this early.
"I don't know how to tell you this but Sunghoon broke the sink downstairs."
"No, I didn't!" Sunghoon fought back through the wall.
"And I need your help," Jake continues, not paying any mind to things happening outside of the room. "Yunjin's kind of been stalking me a little bit and I need protection."
Now he was up, his eyes broke open fully, his blanket was tossed to the side and he was sitting up, looking at his brother completely now.
"What did you do to her?"
"I didn't do anything!" He tried to plead his case.
But it was rather hard when he lived in a house full of tattletales who loved picking on him.
Luckily Beomgyu was walking by when he heard it.
"He's a liar. She told me some of her clothes are missing. Including some of her underwear." He eyed Jake. Heeseung didn't even get a moment to ask more before Beomgyu was getting shoved down the hall.
"He doesn't know what he's talking about." Their heads shook in tandem.
It was only 9 AM and Heeseung already wanted to pull his hair out.
He dragged his hands along his face. He stands up, stretching his limbs until he heard a pop, a pop that he felt the need to get rid of everyday because of these boys running him ragged.
"Jake, I swear to God. If you are keeping Yunjin's clothes from her, that is your problem, not mine. That is between you and her."
He rushes Jake out of the room, not even entertaining his pleas for help with a mess he made himself. Heeseung was very big on letting his brothers fix their own personal problems.
Especially the stupid ones.
"I hope she tears your ass open."
Shutting the door doesn't stop the loud noises from breaking through but at least he knows he taught everyone else how to knock.
Ask before you come in!
The last time they ever did it, they caught Soobin playing Just Dance in his underwear and no one's been able to look him in the eye since.
He went through his morning routine no problem.
He goes to the bathroom, uninterrupted. Thank the Gamma gods for the presidential quarters.
He puts on his darkest clothes because he can just tell, by the end of the day, someone is going to spill something on him. It's just being prepared.
Once he finally gets his hair to look just the right amount of messy, he gathers himself, bracing for the state this so-called 'broken sink' was in.
He'd hate to spend the rest of his day on the phone with housing management. Again.
Mercifully, it wasn't too bad once he got downstairs. He tried not to pay too much mind to all the gross things the members were doing this early in the morning.
If he stopped and said something to everyone, he'd never see the end of it.
Make that a problem for a different day.
The sink just had a simple clog in it, he could get it out in no time. No need to make any phone calls.
He'd like to imagine this is the only problem he'd have to face today but that was just delusional.
Next, he had to settle an argument between Jungwon and Jay; the younger one had ate the lasagna that Jay had prepared for his cooking class. He thought it was someone else's.
It wasn't due yet so he just told Jungwon to pay for ingredients for his new dish.
Then, he had to fish Sunoo's laptop out of the pool because when they pushed him in, he was working on his paper.
Heeseung got all the rice he could muster (most stolen from Jay, sorry) and tried to bring it back to life. Once he saw a light, he left it alone since the day was already gone by the time he got it out of the water.
He was like their mother, corralling them away from the light sockets because they were still in that phase of wanting to touch the shiny things.
By 6 PM, he felt collapse. It was barely even night and his body was already screaming at him. Every movement brought about a new ache, a new cramp, something stopping him from doing something for himself for the first time all day.
As soon as the clock struck 7, the only thing he had the energy to do was drag himself to bed.
But he wasn't allowed, since the big ol' man babies were always crying.
The moment he touched a stair, he heard it.
One quick cling of metal, a burst and then screaming. He didn't even have to turn around to know what happened.
The pipe that was perfectly fine hours prior, now broken with water spraying everywhere.
And who else but Jake at the scene of the crime?
"Hee! Sunghoon broke the sink again!"
It's like it never stopped, like at all.
His bed gets a rain check and he turns back around, meeting Jake in the bathroom with the newly forming puddle.
He does what Jake hadn't thought to do and he turns off the water supply to stop the river from becoming. Not without getting his sweatpants completely drenched.
He made himself busy throwing all the towels on the ground, hoping to soak up what was left. All the while, Jake had buzzed off, off to the next thing which happened to be figuring out who was at the door.
He slid to it like it was nothing, swinging him open with reckless abandon.
"Hello—" His greeting died in his chest once he met Yunjin's eyes, her piercing ones that had been searching for him all day. You didn't even get to say anything before he took off screaming up the stairs with her in tow.
You didn't seem concerned, he probably deserved it.
But it did leave you unaware of what to do. Yunjin knew more about the house than you did. She was meant to be your bridge.
You kind of just stood on the porch, rocking back and forth like a baby.
Heeseung was tripping out of the bathroom when he spotted you standing there. His presidential instincts kicked in immediately, he jogged over to the door like you were the mailman.
"Hi, how can I help you—holy shit, you're gorgeous."
And just like the rest of the idiots he lived with, he had been hit with the stupid. But this wasn't his fault, you looked so pretty. Any inside thought he might have had about you was pouring out of him like word vomit.
He didn't know you — he'd remember you.
He shamelessly looks up you up and down.
Your baggy clothes, your hair was down but still a little messy, your big glasses that framed your face, your lipgloss that seemed to sparkle under the porch lights.
He had seen many a girl, none of them made his heart beat this irregular before.
"Sorry, who did you say you were, sweetheart?"
"I didn't. Where's Riki? He told me to come by at 7." You rock back in forth on the balls of your feet, your eyes darting around the space.
You wouldn't lie to yourself, you were curious on how they lived. You found the water mess immediately. On the floor and covering his pants. You were about to ask but he caught you staring and spoke up first.
"Oh, Jake broke the sink. I didn't pee on myself, I promise."
Your teeth clenched in disgust.
"I didn't want to say anything."
He tries to laugh but he can't seem to commit to it, he's too busy memorizing everything about you.
"Trust me. If I knew there was going to be a pretty girl at my door, I would cleaned up a little better."
And then you laugh, the most mellifluous and light sound he's ever heard.
He wanted to hear it again, to be the one to cause it to come out of you once more.
But this day refused to let Heeseung be, he wasn't allowed to admire you for long before Riki was appearing over his shoulder like a parrot. He reached past his brother like it was nothing, snatching your hand up like it belonged to him, yanking you up the stairs, muttering something about staying hidden.
Heeseung watches until you're gone from his sight.
He couldn't go to sleep now.
He instead got stuck on hold with housing.
He tried to pretend like he wasn't staring at his brother's closed door, wondering what you two were doing.
He knew you weren't a hook-up, from how close he was, he'd probably be able to hear you two. If anyone asked, he was making sure Riki was safe, no other reason.
Definitely not spying on you.
He almost didn't even notice when someone was on the other line.
୨ৎ
"So are you going to listen to anything I say or are you just going to keep making eye contact with the ceiling?" You bored into him but he wouldn't have noticed.
He giggled like you had said something funny.
"You gon' keep playing eye tag or you gon' holler at your boy?" He laughs once again at his joke. You knew he wasn't talking to you, it was muttered, you had only caught it because it was the only noise in the room.
You don't even think, you grab the pillow behind you and hit him in the face with it.
"Ow! Why?!" He tried to dodge but it's useless.
"Because I hate you! And Mr. Calderon, for making us spend time together." You hit him again, he goes to move but he's too slow.
"You know, you're the first tutor to ever hit me!"
"I doubt that, everything that comes out of your mouth is stupid. They've at least screamed at you."
"At me? No. For me, yes."
A comical pause; you're just staring at him.
"You're a helpless disgusting little worm, Riki. I hope your parents choke you out Homer Simpson-style when they see your grades because I quit."
You grabbed your backpack off the floor and you move for the door.
His chuckle is villainous in the air. A shiver almost develops on your back but you don't let it.
"You do realize that if you fail to tutor me, you could fail this class, right?" He was being presumptuous, as if he held the fate of your future in his hands.
"I'm not the one already on thin ice here, you are. I at least have other good grades. You just suck." You turned around slowly. "When I tell Mr. Calderon I couldn't tutor you, he won't see it as my failure, it'll be yours. I'm just another person who couldn't fix your trainwreck which is not my fault. If anything, he'll commend me for trying. And that's enough for me to get a different extra credit assignment."
You stopped yourself from laughing as you looked at him again because the situation really was testing your last nerve.
You were about to say fuck him and fail out of the class, maybe then you'd be free.
But he stopped you, guilt painting his face for what seemed like the first time in his life. He actually looked like a real person for a second and not just some stereotype.
Another pause as he looked everywhere but at you.
"I have to get my math book from Taehyun. I lent it to him sophomore year and never saw it again."
You nodded.
Now he'd never tell anyone this because no one would want to sleep with him if they knew how slow he was, but tutoring was actually very helpful.
He was still ashamed of getting help but once that door was closed, he was the most eager student you would have ever seen.
After getting something right the first time, he got a sense of accomplishment in his chest, he liked it. He wanted to feel it all the time. And that drove him to want to know all the answers.
He was chasing his high and fixing his grade — it was a win-win.
Heeseung definitely took notice of you coming around more often. It was hard not to, since Riki was moving like he had something to hide, meeting you at the door without giving you much of a chance to knock, sneaking you up the stairs as if his parents were going to see.
It'd seem weird if he didn't know how nosey the members got; one look at you and they'd be busting down his door like the police.
He doesn't get to talk to you again until he stakes out the door, coming downstairs around the usual time you appear and grabbing the door before Riki does.
You looked up from your phone in surprise, those weren't the eyes you were used to seeing.
"Hey, you're that guy who pees his pants. Aren't you the president of these dummies? Hee something? I don't know if I would trust your judgment if you were pissing your pants all the time. But then again, they're dummies."
He chuckles too loud at your joke, loud enough he's surprised you don't clown him for it.
"Um, it's Heeseung. And your name was?"
"Y/n, I'm Riki's—"
You don't get to finish your sentence because you're cut off by the loud stomps down the stairs. Riki's barreling, taking them two at a time, not even stopping when he almost slipped.
"There you are! We're going to the library today." He steps in between the two of you, pushing you out of the doorway and toward the steps.
He ushers you away from the house, putting his arm around your shoulders. You turned around right before he pulled you off the porch fully, meeting Heeseung's eyes one more time.
"Bye, Mister President." You waved him goodbye.
"See you later, pretty girl." He prayed you couldn't see the dopey smile that was painted on his face from such a quick interaction.
Learning your name was all he needed, now it made it ten times easier to find out who you were.
And he knew exactly who to ask.
୨ৎ
"No, leave me alone." Yunjin was hoping to be by herself when she got to the fashion studio but now Heeseung was her shadow, every movement she made, he was on her heels, not even giving her a moment to breathe.
"Come on, Yunjin!" He whined. "Think about all I've done for you. Would it hurt you to help me just this once?"
She paused, eyebrows crinkling at his pleas.
"Like what, Hee? The last time I can remember you helping me with something was my math grade freshman year and that's about it. I owe you nothing. And even if I did, I've probably paid it over double by now."
Even if Gamma boys were supposed to hate Delta girls, that could not be said about Heeseung and Yunjin, even though, they were the leaders.
They knew each other way before this, their friendship didn't have to end just because they were in college now.
And since they both held power, they used to help each other out sometimes.
If Yunjin's girls got raided in the night, she knew it was them and once she tattled on them, she knew Heeseung was going to reprimand them because he didn't play that.
And if the girls were feeling vindictive, a one-night stand that didn't go the way they hoped and they decided to take it out on the house, Heeseung knew he could mention it to Yunjin and she'd straighten it out. No problem.
Usually she was a big help.
This was not one of those times.
"What are you even asking me for again?" She's cutting fabric, she's not even really paying him any mind anymore. Usually they tucker themselves out.
He rolled his eyes, it felt like this was the 50th time he said it.
"Your friend, I was wondering if you could put me on. Yes or no?"
Now she's squinting at him, confused since she has a lot of friends.
"Dani?"
He shook his head immediately, he was on bad terms with both Danis so that was not a road he wanted to travel down.
"No, Y/n?"
She looked up like he said something he wasn't supposed to.
"I'm sorry, how do you know her?"
He shrugged like it was nothing, like you weren't the only thing that's been on his mind. "She's been tutoring Riki for the past month, I think. He keeps trying to hide her like we wouldn't notice him suddenly counting under his breath. I don't know why he didn't just ask me though."
She shook her head since that wasn't the full story. She explained how you were being punished with being a tutor in order to get extra credit and Riki was your first subject.
All he heard was a way in.
He could need a tutor. Ok, he didn't need a tutor, but he needed to talk to you.
"So can you make the introduction?"
"Absolutely not."
"Why must you hurt me so bad?" He whined.
"Y/n hates frat boys! If I tried to introduce you two, she would not be down like at all. You want to talk to her? Go find her yourself. She's probably in the library. The study rooms have better wifi than her apartment."
She didn't have to tell him twice, he was gone before she could even look up and notice his little smoke cloud.
At first, he figured Yunjin was just playing a trick on him, just to see him huff and puff over something that really was this big of a deal. But there you were, stumbling out of the library, struggling to carry your books like this was a 2000s film.
It was something he picked right out of his fantasies.
He was on you quicker than a flea, rushing to your side to help you.
"Here, let me get that."
You didn't fight him on it, seemingly too tired to decline help at the moment, he took it as a step in the right direction.
Pushing your hair out of your face, you finally notice who he was.
"Oh hey, it's the President. Are you stalking me or something?"
He snorts—not completely.
"No, I was hoping to procure your services so Yunjin told me where to find you."
You quirked a brow at him.
"Services? I'm not a hooker."
And he's guffawing like you're a comedian. "No, tutoring. I need a tutor." Again, confusion spread on your features.
"Why?"
"I'm struggling with math right now and you seemed to be helping Riki so.."
"How do you know that? He treats me like an affair. As if he doesn't get upset when I cancel a session."
"I wouldn't be a good president if I wasn't checking on my members to make sure they were being educated properly. I once bounced a guy out of the chapter because he had a B in English, straight up."
Your face betrays you as you snicker at his joke.
Once again, he was making you laugh.
He was 2 for 2.
It doesn't go unnoticed by him how you two begin walking side-by-side, your steps in perfect unison, you almost sounded like one person.
"I mean I'm not a real tutor. I don't know if he told you but this is a punishment. I'm not doing this out of the kindness of my heart. He's actually the most annoying person in the world."
He wasn't going to correct you, you weren't wrong.
But he wasn't giving up on you either.
"What if I paid you?"
"How much?"
"How ever much you need. I have an exam coming up." Not fully a lie, he did have an exam coming up. He just didn't need any help.
You pondered it for a second, your mouth contorting as you went over it. "Ok, but don't pay me. Then it'll definitely look like you're soliciting me for sex."
He nodded quickly.
"We can meet at the library tomorrow, I guess."
He's the nodding machine, bobbing his head up and down like he was getting tested on it.
You take your books back, balancing them on your arms a little better since you're more awake now. "Here," you use your free hand to fish your phone out of your pocket and hand it to him. "Put your number in."
This was a dance he was all too skilled in.
He was actually surprised you didn't already have it, it's plastered on almost ever girl's bathroom on campus. 'Call Heeseung if you want to have a good time,' that type of thing. It was a prank gone wrong but jokes on them, he got hook-ups because of it.
Before he knew it, you were waving him goodbye, walking off into the sunset like an angel.
He couldn't wait for tomorrow.
It didn't make sense.
The moment your eyes broke open, you still were in a dream-like state.
When yesterday poured over you, it was orange juice on cereal, settling weird and tasting wrong.
One question kept repeating in your mind: Why did Heeseung Lee need a math tutor?
To your knowledge, you were pretty sure he didn't need one. You might have been too tired to be making any transactions because now shit didn't make fucking sense.
Was he messing with you?
Was this some type of bet? He had to see how long he could keep a tutor before you realized he wasn't as dumb as he seemed.
Either way, you weren't laughing.
Right now, you were just tired and wondering why you told this boy you'd meet him when you knew damn well this was the only day you had nothing and could just relax.
You were about to cancel.
You didn't want to play his game.
But then your phone blinked, maybe he heard you.
heeseung how do u like your coffee? i was planning on picking some up before we met
you are you trying to butter me up or something? are your grades worse than riki's?
heeseung no one is that bad :/ i just wanted to do something nice for you since i'm not paying you
you fine i like my coffee cold and milky
heeseung my kinda girl ;) ok, see you in a bit, beautiful <3
Now you were certain he was pranking you.
You didn't move urgently to get dressed at all.
He was already there waiting, standing outside the library as if he needed your permission to enter. Two cups in his hands like the good boy he was pretending to be.
You almost laughed at how helpless he looked. This guy was the leader of a frat? Sounds ludicrous.
"Hey there, Mr. President." You joined his side on the stairs, taking the lighter drink into your hands.
You take a tentative sip, the caffeine coursing through your veins to be the power you need to get through this next hour.
"Are you ever going to call me my name?"
Another sip.
"Are you?" You shot back.
His face crumpled.
"Touché."
With that, you went into the library, him using his free hand to open the door for you.
Inside the vibes are so much different than the glaring sun outside. The lights were dark and gentle, a few of the other bookworms already cuddled up to the shelves the way you would be if you weren't tutoring.
The librarians are quick to greet you too.
"Y/n!" It came out loud and sing-songy, the way it wasn't supposed to sound in a library.
You didn't even try to stop the smile that began.
"Hey, Kee."
He walked around the counter swiftly, wrapping his arms around you in that comforting mother way he learned from being a librarian.
"I feel like I haven't seen you literally in forever."
He was dramatic; you were getting books last week.
You don't jump to introduce them, you don't really care to. Luckily, Heeseung is such a 'nice guy', and it would be unbecoming if he didn't speak up.
"Hi, I'm Heeseung," he puts his hand out for Keeho to shake and he takes it gladly. You watched as his face lit up from the sight of the boy beside you. He bounced between you two like he was figuring something out.
You didn't even flinch.
"Oh, I know who you are."
Heeseung goes to you for a life raft and since you're not completely awful, you give him a hand.
"Keeho makes it a point to know everybody's business. As the librarian, he has to have everything memorized. The books and the people who come in. Or..don't come in." You snorted.
He nodded because it's true and he does nothing to hide it.
"Also, it's very hard to work in the library and not hear whispers of your name in the stacks. Every girl wants a piece of you."
Heeseung expelled a shy little giggle, as if Keeho were mentioning his accolades and not his whore tendencies.
"Not every." You cut in, stopping the laughing.
There's a pause as Keeho nudged you, urging you to be a little nicer as Heeseung looked physically wounded. You just rolled your eyes.
"This seems a lot to run for just one guy." His eyes wandered around with a childlike wonder that confirmed your train of thought, he hadn't been in here before.
"Oh, don't worry. I'm not alone."
As if on cue, your attention is pulled away from the conversation but to the sound of one of the library carts crashing into someone. A very quiet 'ouch' and then reprimanding.
"See that cute little sophomore?" He pointed to the boy who was being lectured and actively picking up the books he dropped from the cart.
"That's my son, Shota. Not really but I buy his food. And the one who looks like he's grounding him? That's Jiung. He does the important bits. I just look pretty."
They both give you a wave before disappearing.
"As fun as this is, we have some tutoring to get to."
Keeho nodded. "The table in the corner is free."
You grabbed Heeseung's forearm, yanking him along with you so he didn't get lost.
You plant him on the end, sitting beside him with your front pointed toward the entrance and front desk. You didn't have an explanation for it, just being in the exact position makes your brain work the best.
You began pulling your stuff out of your bag and between finding your pens, your brain makes it apparent to you that he hadn't moved yet.
He was too busy eyeing Keeho from where he was giggling at his phone behind the desk.
You had to snap to get his attention back to you.
"Huh?"
"Yo. ¿Dónde están tus libros, huh?"
A pause as his brain tried to translate what you just said but coming up empty.
"Books, my guy. You know the colorful things with words?"
His mouth makes a very visible 'O' as he finally dives into his backpack that just felt like a prop and heaved out his heavy old ripped up textbooks.
“So, I’m guessing you two are close, you being such a nerd and whatnot.”
You rolled your eyes.
"Are you guys friends?"
You can feel it, the entire library is the most silent so it'd be hard not notice how deep he was fishing. He was basically screaming at you.
"Yeah, why?" You stay locked on turning your laptop on.
He shrugged, still bringing things out of his bag of wonders.
"I don't know, there was just a little bit of vibe."
You snorted but choked it back once you heard the loud noise expel from your body. It was laughable, just not in here.
"A vibe? Really, Mr. Frat Boy? That's your diagnosis?"
"I'm just saying what I saw."
This time, you don't stop your laugh, at least, not efficiently since you slapped your hand over your mouth, stifling it slightly.
You didn't think he could make less sense today; you stood corrected.
"You might need to get new glasses there, Hee, because your gaydar sucks." You almost fold over in laughter, your hands finding the table to ground you.
"No." He protested. "No!" A hushed whisper as he can't believe himself either. "I have perfect gaydar. My roommates are gay."
"Well, you might want to have a conversation with your roommates because those boys are together."
He went to look back, get another look to reaffirm what he thought he saw and as if Keeho had heard your conversation, as he was walking past, he pressed a harsh kiss on Jiung's temple. His smirk was faint but there.
"Huh."
"Yeah. Don't make assumptions. Or else you'll make an ass out of you and..'mptions."
He laughed at your joke for a second, not too long, calculated as he's done this before. "You're funny."
"I know."
A sip from your cup was a drag of a cigarette, calming your nerves.
"Wait, did you call me Hee?"
"Don't get too excited, dummy. Now show me what you're working on."
He grumbled but did as you asked with no problem.
Your first tutoring session actually wasn't that bad. Not any worse than any other.
You spent the hour explaining the simplest of systems and he spent his time staring at you. He did interrupt quite often to ask you questions about yourself but you avoided them—this wasn't a social call, you were supposed to be doing a job.
He did not get that.
And since he didn't, it only made sense for you to see him again.
You couldn't find any reason not to.
You two met for the second time a week later.
Between attending your classes and still tutoring Riki, you found it hard to keep Heeseung on your plate. But he begged you, citing that without your help he was going to fail. And although you figured he didn't need your help with that, you still found a way to squeeze him in.
It just took a longer for him to see you again.
He was already sitting at a table by the time you got there, already having his stuff out, looking around with the biggest curious eyes you've ever seen.
He was coming more prepared this time.
He jumped up the moment he saw you, pulling your chair out as you shook your very wet umbrella.
You sit down without even thinking about the gesture.
"Sorry for coming so late. I didn't know it was going to rain and I was on the other side of campus without an umbrella. I had to borrow this from Chaewon."
He's shining those pearly whites in your face when you finally look up and you hate how you could see why so many people get weak in the knees about it.
Your heart did stutter a little.
"You don't have to be sorry, babe. I'm glad you're here."
You just rolled your eyes at the nickname as you reached into your bag to pull out your stuff.
"Now I kind of wish I got struck by lightning."
He snickered, not too loud for the librarian to notice but enough that the other people would hear his laugh. It was part of his tactic, and it hadn't show any fails just yet.
"You'd probably look a little funny."
"Just open your books."
He doesn't fight you, he just smiles and does what's asked.
The second time around, he was more focused, showing signs that he was actually listening to you and not just making spit bubbles. He still had a few issues with the problems you were working on but when you explained, he wasn't just staring, he was comprehending.
You couldn't call him dumb anymore, not when he was trying.
You two wrap up at the best time; the sun peeks through the clouds for the first time all day, birds chirping and singing for the day to return.
You feel a change of heart so you open your mouth in the silence.
"You're improving," you muttered to your bag. You kind of hoped he didn't hear your compliment but he was too close not to, standing just a breath away doing the same thing.
His grin was big and toothy.
"I'm sorry, was that a compliment?"
That earned your second eye-roll of the day, this one was just a little more playful than the last, adorned with a small smile.
"It was. Are you going to make me regret it?"
"You'll never regret anything with me, angel, I promise." He smirked, winking at you with a twinkle.
You hate that it erupts a giggle out of you.
"You have to stop talking to me like that. I am not your girlfriend, Heeseung."
"No one said you were." He shrugged all innocently.
"Your face is saying something else."
You zipped your bags up at the same time, almost like he was waiting for you to be done so he could follow you. He trails you out of the library, only catching up fully to open the door for you.
You don't chuckle at the gesture, you welcomed it.
And he took that as a fantastic sign.
The sun beams down on you both instantly, hitting you both at the same time.
Your eyes shut instinctively, not being able to withstand the blinding rays. He noticed and stepped in a little closer, putting his hand on your face to block.
"Better?"
You don't realize how close you are until it's too late. His voice a little more hushed since you're not that far, his breath fanned your cheek slightly, and for once, you felt yours catch.
"Mhm..thanks."
He looked so pretty from this angle, the light hitting him perfectly to give him a subtle glow, it was a little unfair. It was making your mind turn to goop.
"You know all this nice weather, maybe next time, class could be outside."
"Who said there was going to be a next time?" Your brows knit together with your gaze. He mimicked you like a baby.
"Uh, your face."
Your head dropped in embarrassment, your eyes widened, anywhere else was better than looking at him with the smug smirk brewing. "It's kind of cute to see you nervous." He teased.
"Shut up," you snickered, shrugging him away with a very clear grin.
"Nothing about you makes me nervous." You scoffed.
He bobbed his head up and down, he could pretend he believed you. it didn't have to be true.
୨ৎ
Over the next few weeks, the weather just can't help getting nicer. The sun isn't hiding much anymore, the once green trees in the courtyard are now blooming pink anywhere and everywhere.
The breeze that you could use as shield was now dull, a nice warmth now flowing through the air. You could no longer hide behind your big hoodies, not when it was basically grilling weather.
You still carried them around but as a decoration for your bag and a safety net.
You didn't want to admit it, but he was right.
It was perfect if you wanted to spend all your time outside. And according to Yunjin, that's exactly what you wanted to do.
She claimed you 'never left your apartment unless it was for nerd activities'. That caused Kazuha to burst out laughing in the middle of the backyard.
You didn't think it was that funny.
"They are not nerd activities!" You wailed, trying to shove Kazuha for teasing but she was too strong. "God forbid a girl is focused and educated."
"And severely domestic." Yunjin poked from her spot across you at the table. "No one ever sees you anymore. We have to contact the librarian if you're missing from the one spot we check."
She was making you sound downright pathetic. Is that how people saw you? Some homebody who never did anything and just never showed her face? Is that what you were? Why was she your friend if you were this sad?
Your hands retreated to your lap, your fingers threading together so you could pinch them to bring yourself down. You knew she meant nothing by it, didn't stop your mind from bullying you into a corner though.
Yunjin's such a good friend, she sees how your energy changes and she corrects promptly.
"Well, either Keeho or Heeseung. You have your pick of them these days." She sipped her drink all cheeky and aunt-like, darting her eyes around to see her damage.
Kazuha stopped her cackling fit, Chaewon choked a little, Eunchae even finally gave the conversation her attention. His name was like Batman, something about hearing it made everyone sit forward.
"You're hanging with Heeseung?" Chaewon inquired, turning toward you fully.
"Doesn't Keeho have a boyfriend?" Eunchae leaned over to Kazuha in confusion, gaining a unnecessary nod that stopped any future debate.
"No, we're not hanging." You shut it down.
Yunjin made an astonished face, she never liked letting you live.
"You're not hanging and yet he has you saved in his phone as 'my pretty girl'? Yeah, for sure. Because I have all people I'm just acquaintances with under cute little nicknames."
Both Eunchae and Kazuha gasp to let you know they're still in the conversation, they however instead vied to be focused on their food instead of boring into you like Chaewon seemed to be doing.
"How long have you two been close?" Her tone was light, the same kind interest that was always in her voice when she spoke to you.
"Not long. Not at all really. I'm just his tutor. He's kind of a weirdo."
"Yeah, a weirdo who seems to be obsessed with you," Kazuha's mouth is full of pasta, you're confused on how she even got words out.
Yunjin's spaghetti was best eaten hot anyway.
"He is not obsessed with me."
"Yes, he is," Yunjin smacked the basketball right out of your hands. "Trust me, I've known Heeseung for the longest and I've never seen him so enamored. I'm telling you: the boy is in love."
As much as it blossomed in your chest, you didn't want to believe her.
The moment you let yourself be delusional was when you were vulnerable to everything, he could hit you from every angle metaphorically and you wouldn't let him take anything from you.
He wasn't allowed the power.
It was still possible she could have got her wires crossed.
People can change.
"He's definitely just using you for a grade." You and Chaewon were in the same boat.
You gesture to her. "That I believe more."
“You’ve been friends with him but you never dated him.”
Sometimes you forgot about Heeseung and Chaewon’s relationship from freshman year. It was so long ago, you kind of thought she did too.
It was before he became such a hotshot, before he was Gamma president, way before you even joined the friend group. You had only heard stories about what happened between them.
No specifics, just that he humiliated her at some party.
She has since gotten over it and forgiven him, so she says.
"He might not be a 'whore' anymore but tigers never change their stripes. He's a manipulator."
"And I refuse to let him get me. He could shower me in all the compliments he wants. I'm not falling for it."
And you meant it.
Just not enough.
As much as you wanted to deny Yunjin, she was right about one thing — you did enjoy spending your time outside.
The birds and the atmosphere were actually ideal.
More than the library.
If you needed to get something done, or if you just didn't want to be in your apartment any longer, you'd go out and sit in the quad, let the sun rain down your face and forget about how much life sucked.
The animals chittered, the trees making whipping noises in your ears, all calming noises you needed to suppress any aggravating feelings settling in between your eyebrows.
"Well, aren't you just a pretty flower?"
And how easy it was for it to return.
You don't have to open your eyes to know who's voice it was, he welcomed with something cringy every time.
"Are you stalking me or something?"
His shadow over you is daunting, daunting enough for you to sit up. When you finally do give him a look, he appeared a little different than when you saw him last. It brought a heat to your cheeks.
His hair is parted out of his face so you could see him better, he's a little more unzipped than how you would normally perceive him, now just rocking a t-shirt and jeans.
And in his hands was a picnic basket.
You don't get a chance to ask about it before he's sitting beside you and pulling a blanket out.
"Technically not stalking because you're still laughing at me. It borders on predator once I start like following you home."
You tittered, your eyes focused on all of the things he's pulling out like he's Mary freaking Poppins.
"Not a smile on my face, weirdo. Just general perplexity. How did you find me and why do you have all of my favorite snacks?"
He lights up, this was the exact reaction he wanted.
"Both questions, same answer: Keeho told me. You were right, that guy really does know everything about his patrons."
And right now you wished you never told him diddly.
Because the expression on his face is the same one he gives you when he'd correct you, smiling arrogantly like he's the smartest person in the world.
You hated that expression because every time he made it, you felt your heart skip a beat and your breath stutter.
"What are you doing here, Heeseung?"
"Well, as much as I love our time in the library, and I do — more than life — I feel like we can do more fun things, hence picnic." He reached into the basket again, pulling out a cute pink beverage and tossing it over to you.
You don't even hesitate before poking it open and taking a sip.
If he was going to offer food, you weren't going to not eat it.
"Or we could do something actually fun, like rip each other's teeth out or watch paint dry."
His face crumpled at you. "What do you have against picnics?"
"Nothing. It's just I don't understand why anyone would want to share their food with the ants and the dirt, that's all." You take a very innocent sip while watching his composure dissipate into awestruck.
"What?! Picnics are so freaking romantic. You could be under the stars or on top of a hill watching the sunset."
You squinted.
"Like in Up?"
That took all weight out of his fight, he slumped in defeat.
"Do you like anything?" He tried.
"Yes, of course."
"Like what? Tell me."
Your lips pursed, jumping around your mind to look for the answer he was digging for.
"I like music and books. I like ice cream. I like eating it by myself, preferably not outside and not with bugs."
He snorted.
"Umm, I like Yunjin. You'd think I wouldn't because she's like you kinda but she's actually a really good friend. She treats me nice even though sometimes I don't think I deserve it." You paused a little, pinching some grass between your fingers.
He leaned back on his hands, suddenly staring at you with a new lens.
This had been the first time you had emoted in a way that wasn't negative, you weren't shutting him down, you weren't getting him away for the topic, you were actually opening up. He had to take advantage.
"You know, I never heard how the two of you came to be. You're not like the usual people she runs with. You're...different."
"Different as in I'm not some sorority girl like Saki or Chaewon?" Your attention falls on the pile of snacks in between you, picking at something.
"Well, no. You're a little more weirder than them."
"Gee, thanks. You really know how to make a girl feel special."
"No, that's not what I meant," he sat up, sticking his hand out and placing on your shoulder. You stare at it but you don't tell him to move. His touch is stronger than you expected, you don't hate it.
"I just meant you're not afraid to say things. Most girls I meet — besides Yunjin — are more quiet and soft-spoken, you're not. It's cool."
"If you're waiting for me to say 'I'm not like other girls', it's not coming. Because trust me, I am no different than the next girl. Our only difference? I'm not falling for this. I've dated frat boys, I'm good off 'em for a long time." You continue to pick at his food, not making eye contact as you closed his whole situation down.
If he were anyone else, he'd probably pout like Charlie Brown and walk away with his blanket tucked between his legs but unknowingly you cracked a door open for him.
"I'm sorry. I was under the impression you hated frat guys through and through. At least, that's what Yunjin told me. You mean to tell me you dated one?" You can hear the smile in his voice, you don't have to look.
The eye-roll that followed was a given.
He's leaning forward, his head perched on his hand when your eyes betray you and flick over to him. He bats his eyelashes at you.
"Do go on."
You could dodge him again but maybe it's the nice weather, the breeze that quells any anger you could be feeling, you don't care to keep yourself from him.
Not when he was openly asking and eager to listen.
"Yunjin caught me on a bad bender. That's how we met. My boyfriend cheated on me so I went to her party to drink my sorrows away. She's been addicted to caring about my wellbeing since."
There's a lull where you expect the facade to break and for him to unmask the demon inside to disappoint you like you've been anticipating.
But he doesn't.
In fact, he makes the exact same face she did when she found out: his jaw on the ground.
It's not a look you've seen on his face before. It's nice.
"A frat guy did that to you?"
"Yeah, aren't you all like that?"
"No!" He's quick to stop that train before it leaves the station. It surprises you so much, you look around just in case anyone heard him being ridiculously loud.
"Cheating is absolutely fucking disgusting." His tone was direct and unforgiving. He spoke in absolute, he had never been more serious about anything since you've known him. "Anybody who does that shit is stupid and lazy."
You can't hide your snicker, in fact, you don't even try to. Hearing a man denounce cheating these days was like when they got mad about periods, it wasn't something substantial, it was just something they said.
"You think I'm joking?"
You shook your head wordlessly.
"I just think guys will say whatever they need to get into your pants. Especially when it's the only thing on their mind."
"Fine, I'll make you a deal," he brushed the crumbs away and stuck his pinky out. "I promise I will keep it in my pants, as long as we can be friends."
You're not sure you completely believe him but you're curious about his attempt so you lock fingers with his.
"I have good self control," he smirked.
"Mhm, sure."
Bad idea.
Once you opened up the door for him, he barreled through like an bull. All you had to do was tell him you could be friends and he took that shit to the bank.
Now that just meant he was blowing up your phone when you least expected it.
You were in class, wanting time to move quicker? He'd send you that pic of that cat telling you to hang in there.
You're just working on homework in your bed? Then you'd get a selfie of him in the same position you were in, mocking your anguish.
You couldn't sleep? Neither could he, and now you were both just sitting up, not getting any rest, giggling about whatever dumb shit Jake did that day.
You didn't like the fact that he had you bursting at the seams in your own home. He was invading the inner sanctum and he hadn't even made it to the door.
It was disgusting.
And to make it ten times worse, now you were just waiting for him to text all the time. You checked your phone to see if his name was there, you got worried if he didn't send you anything in the normal times, sometimes you even messaged him first.
You wanted to jump out of your skin.
He wasn't any better although. Without even realizing it, he began neglecting his responsibilities just to talk to you. It's not safe to fall in love when you're the president — and unfortunately that's what he felt was happening.
It had only been a couple months and he already couldn't imagine his life without you in it, his nights without your really bad jokes (he didn't think they were bad) or his mornings without pictures of how bad you thought you looked when you woke up (he refused to think you looked bad either).
You were the perfect pathetic pair.
୨ৎ
You had been fully integrated into his night routine by now. Now when he brushed his teeth, you made an appearance, right on the sink.
You two had been texting for a few hours, he couldn't even remember where it started, all he knew was that now you were talking about weird things you did in childhood.
He told you about how he thought if he skated backwards, he could go back in time; you laughed at him mercilessly.
And in return, you relayed to him that you used to drink chocolate milk out of your plastic Hello Kitty tea set.
He poked fun at you like you did, but he actually hadn't heard anything cuter.
you what are you doing anyway? you're being dry and i kind of hate it :(
heeseung sorry, i'm brushing my teeth give me a second
He was rinsing when his ringtone washed over the tiled walls. He doesn't even think twice about answering it.
"You wanted to talk to me this bad? Aw!" His speech is muffled from all the foam coming out of his mouth. He spit before locking eyes with you in his screen.
"Ew, no. Maybe. I was curious on what it looked like when you were brushing your teeth. My mind just couldn't imagine it."
He brushed extra hard for your amusement.
The pain was worth it to see you smile.
"Not all of us are stinky."
He hears a rustle on your end, probably readjusting yourself in your bed. He knew the sound by now.
"I don't think you've ever smelled bad. You're one of the nicest smelling guys I've ever met."
He dropped his toothbrush in the cup, turning the light off and jumping into his bed for the night.
"How many guys are you smelling?" He chuckled.
You grimaced. "Too many."
He must have been enjoying himself too much, he got comfortable too early, too quickly and the world wasn't allowing that, or rather his members.
Once again, knocking is forgotten and his door flies wide open. He flinches like he's doing something wrong, grabbing the blanket to cover himself up. There's nothing out in the open, it just feels intimate.
"Hey, hyung, can I have some underwear—" Riki started but his words die on his tongue once he sees the state of his older brother.
He was shaking like a cat and it's unnatural.
Riki's eyes squinted.
"Have you ever heard of knocking?!"
"Nah." He paused for a second, giving Heeseung a once over with an inquisitive eye. "Are you masturbating in here?"
"If I was, would you leave?"
He shook his head. "No, not really. I really need some underwear."
"Is he about to put on your underwear? That's nasty!"
The younger one's gaze is like lasers, zapping from place to place, trying to find the source of the sound he just heard. "Was that Y/n's voice?"
He flipped his phone around, revealing your cozy state to his nosey friend quickly before turning it back.
"And for your information, he is not stealing my underwear. I buy extra for when the boys lose theirs." He answered, hoping to peel the scowl off your face.
"How often are they losing their underwear?"
Now he was frowning, no part of him wanted to divulge any part of his system to you. Especially when he knew how dirty his roommates were, it was something better left inside the house.
"No comment."
Having what he came in for, Riki moved for the door, going back to mind his business. As he goes to close the door, he turns once more for one final blow.
"By the way, just want to let you know, pizza night kind of went bad and now there's a big ass puddle of pasta sauce in the middle of the kitchen. You might want to get on that."
He doesn't even let it settle on Heeseung's face, he's gone before he could get yelled at.
The vein in the back of his neck pinches thin. He can't tell if he was still breathing or if he finally died and was put out of his misery. A soft snicker falls from his mouth dementedly.
"It never ends, does it?" His fingers carded through his hair recklessly.
"They really rely on you for everything, don't they?" Your tone is so gentle, it almost brings him down from the small panic attack those boys gave him everyday.
"It's like they want me to reach into the chests and breathe into their lungs for them!"
Almost.
"These are supposed to be grown men? They act like they still need their mommy."
"Men will only be as bad as you allow them to be. Tell them you're not going to clean up their messes and if they don't whip up into shape, start leaving it there. You're not their maid. Or their mom."
The manly side of his brain wanted to be mad and tell you were wrong, stick up for his brothers the way he was taught to feel. But you were right, he was just mad all it took was for your words to snap him out of this years-long spell.
No one ever told him he didn't have to do it.
They just expected it.
"You know something? I never thought of it that way."
"Your comfortability matters just as much as theirs. You can't be expected to overcome your bad grades and keep sweeping up their messes. You're not Superman."
There's a split-second his logic gives him to right his wrong; 'Haha, funny story. I actually have really good grades and I've actually been pretending to be stupid à la Mean Girls because I like you.'
It would have been so easy to say.
But his tongue stops him instead. Not when he made it this far.
"I could be Superman."
You squinted in response. "Mhm sure."
He was the president of the dummies after all.
୨ৎ
Things get hectic for you two, with all the procrastinating you were doing, life started to catch up to you and eventually you had to go to sleep without all the extra conversation.
You fade out of each other's lives like hair dye. You're still on each other's minds but all the way in the back since you need room for what needs to be done.
Heeseung uses your tactic of letting them clean up their own messes. It takes a little longer than it should since he literally had to reprogram everyone's instincts. But in a short time, he has them moving with purpose. They even figure out where the broom closet is.
And just in time because party season begins not too long after they get a clue.
Now it doesn't feel like he's juggling everything with just two hands. There's some extra, it's very slim but something is better than nothing.
He has the boys around campus moving like the military, picking up deliveries and buying things with his credit card all willy-nilly like he had cash to burn.
This is the only time being frat president mattered: when people needed a sick event on campus to drink at.
He had nary a moment to call or text you. Between being the party guy and actually working on his schoolwork, you were a guilty pleasure he couldn't indulge in quite often anymore.
You weren't exactly free either.
In a quest to break out of your shell, you found that they were hiring in the library. They needed someone to check people out since there were only three boys working there. They need some type of estrogen to bring the masses in.
It was an easy change, you spent most of your time in there anyway, now you were just getting a paycheck for it.
It was a win-win scenario.
And sometimes during your shift, something slightly odd would happen. Maybe you'd find a book with your name in it since you borrowed it earlier in the year or someone would wander in after they had crossed your mind.
He was in a rush when he stumbled in. All he was looking for was a book his teacher mentioned before he met Jake in the parking lot to go get his car from the shop.
He couldn't fully remember the name and it was becoming bothersome. He couldn't find anyone to help him so he was about to give up and leave.
Then he heard a familiar sound through the stacks, the sweetest little hum to ever grace his ears.
He turned the corner with the daze of someone following the scent of a pie and weirdly enough, there you were, wearing your earbuds, dancing around the shelves like a stage.
You had never looked more natural in his eyes. You were in your element, cracked completely open for anyone to see. He kind of didn't want to disturb you on account of it being his favorite thing to look at.
He saunters up even though you can't see him and he tapped you on the shoulder.
You flinched as if someone had screamed your name and yanked your ear free. "Jesus! You scared me." All he does is laugh at your anguish, and snatch your phone from your pocket to see what had you dancing like that.
"You were over here dancing to this girly music? I didn't know you listened to this kind of junk. That's cute."
You scowled. "Natasha Bedingfield is not junk. She made perfect music for the time period. You're just mad you can't listen to her without getting made fun of because you're a stupid boy. I bet you've never even felt such joy." You snag your phone back, dropping it and your earbuds in the cart away from his grabby hands.
He scoffed, leaning back as if you hit him.
"I'll have you know I'm not some sad human being just because I don't listen to music from the 2000s."
Your frown juts out when he says that, you couldn't stop it, it felt like he basically shot you in the chest.
"I don't know how to tell you this, sweetheart, but that's exactly what that means." You brought your clasped hands up to your mouth, shaking your head disappointed.
With that, you turned back around to your cart, doing your job since you had been abruptly stopped.
"I don't know what to comment on — the fact that you just called me sweetheart or stupid. I loved both, to be honest."
All of your resolve drained out of your body and you're giggling the way he missed hearing in his ears every night.
"You're so weird." You complained but it had no real burn to it since you're smiling. "So what brings you to the library? You're not stalking me again, are you?"
He almost forgets what he came in here for, seeing you washed everything else away.
"As much as I would love to consider this a visit to my favorite grump, unfortunately, I am here looking for a math book my teacher wanted me to read." His pupils lulled back, already done with this quest.
You go into work mode immediately, turning the corner with Heeseung in tow.
"Who's class is it for?" You trained on the shelf.
"Mr. Kim."
You spot it with precision, grabbing it with force. "You're lucky I had his class freshman year. Mr. Kim doesn't believe in helping his students. Instead he gives you this big ass book that's supposed to have all the answers, and weirdly enough, it kind of does." You hand it over.
"With this, you probably won't even need me anymore," you chuckle but it sounds fake, your heart didn't like the idea of him not being your life, and you were pretty sure he wouldn't be if he didn't want his grades to be better.
Out of nowhere, he tosses that book full-force behind him. It makes such a loud thud you jump.
"Dude, what the fuck?" You whispered harsh, you were the librarian, it was in your nature. "What was that for?"
"That book had some bad juju. I didn't like the way it looked at me."
"That doesn't mean you throw it! Go pick it up, right now."
"Yes, ma'am."
He shuffled over to where it landed, doing exactly what you asked with no argument, just putting back where you got it from.
"Yeah, nah, nevermind. I trust you more than any stupid book anyway."
He doesn't have a reason but he continues to follow you as you pushed the cart back to the front where it resided. Since you've done it so much these days, it was impulse going behind the desk and sitting in your stool. And since he has no sense, he follows back there too.
"You're not allowed back here!" You tried to create some semblance of professionalism but he didn't care, he was already touching your knickknacks.
"Relax, no one's trying to be in your librarian business. I just want to play with your toys."
You spent most of your time in the front so it only made sense to have things to entertain yourself with while you wasted away, i.e fidget toys that was gifted to you from Soul. He only gave you the ones he liked.
And now your slime balls were getting the life squeezed out of them because they were in the hands of a excited boy.
"Don't you have somewhere to be? Some beer to drink, some other girl to bother?" You slimmed your eyes at him, he seemed blissfully unaware.
"Are you coming to the Gamma party in a few weeks?"
"No." It seemed obvious, you actually couldn't even believe he was asking you. "I never go to Gamma parties."
"Really? Not even for your favorite person?" He pouted.
"Why would Yunjin want me at your party?"
He clutched his chest, falling back once again with that dramatic flare you had come to honestly enjoy.
"Sticks and stones, Y/n. That's all it is. It doesn't matter how bad you treat me because you wanna know why?"
You raised your eyebrows in intrigue.
His strong hands land on the sides of the stool, turning you toward him so you could see him fully. He leaned in until you were eye-to-eye, his breath fanning your face.
You stifle a giggle by covering your mouth.
"I can tell you like me just as I do. You wouldn't be all giggly if you weren't." He whispered.
You continue but you do move your hand to speak.
"What if it's because your breath stinks?" You wondered in between your little snickering.
To double down, he blows in your face to throw you off guard so he could plant a kiss right on your forehead.
"Ew!" You wipe the fictional smell out of the air.
He flees the scene before you could hit him like you wanted, going on the other side of the counter where he belonged.
You didn't want to touch it but your face burned where he kissed you, basically branding this affection on you and cementing just how much he was genuinely right.
"Ok, fine. I won't beg you to come if you don't want to. But at least, can you come by tomorrow? I need help with an assignment due next week."
You scoffed as if it was going to be tedious, out of the way and impossible but ultimately, you do miss spending time with him and you kind of didn't care about how you got it.
"Sure." You nodded.
"Awesome." He snapped. "Just to let you know though, most of the boys are going to be at the away game so we're going to have the house to ourselves. Ok, bye!"
He ran out before you could say anything else, just leaving you there with your flagrant dismay.
Tomorrow couldn't come quick enough.
The weather was not on your side it seemed. You planned on walking over to the frat house, it wasn't that far, and you've done it so many times before. But the moment you were almost there, the sky opened up and started spitting on you with ferocity.
You couldn't understand what you did to get such bad luck, you just pulled your hood up and ran.
You were lucky the Gamma house had a porch with a roof and that Heeseung didn't make you knock long. One rap and he was swinging the door wide open to reveal your soaking frame.
He was frowning instantly.
"Do you need me to buy you an umbrella?"
"I don't have one because it doesn't usually rain this much!" He grabbed your wrist, pulling you into the warmth. "Plus, I rarely leave my apartment."
He's rubbing your damp arms, hoping to bring some warmth into them.
"How about we get you a towel or maybe some drier clothes, yeah?"
Feeling like a really sad mop, you give him a solemn nod and grabbed his hand when he put it out to guide you up the stairs you had been up many a time before.
Although now, you're not going through the younger one's door.
Now you get the big one with the sign on it, the one that sparkled with words 'president'.
You don't know what you expect when he opens his door, up till now, Heeseung had continued to be an enigma.
You imagined the stereotype you were told about: the flashy, whorish rock-star vibe. You were told to be aware. But that wasn't what you were seeing right now, you didn't have a name for what this was.
His tidy sheets are what you catch first, it's very hard not to since his bed is so big. Probably the perks of being the president, you get the best sleeping quarters.
His room's actually the cleanest thing you've ever seen, it almost looked like no one lived in it.
He lets go of your hand in the middle of the room, leaving you there to explore with your eyes as he rifled through his drawers for something of his that might fit you enough.
He doesn't have many posters around, just a few in frames behind his bed. But even those seem too put together for a college student.
There's not even any demonic clothing piles you could confuse for people in the middle of the night. All of his dirty clothes divided in color piles in his hamper like a crazy person.
This wasn't the guy who was spewing all types of lines in your ear at night, trying to get a rise out of you. It wasn't even the guy who was lowkey stalking you.
You didn't think you knew this one at all.
"Here you go," he held his folded sweats out for you. Even they still looked as good as new. "You can change in the bathroom." And he directed you to the private door behind him.
You don't waste another second, running in and cracking the door just enough so he can't see you anymore.
Him being a gentleman, he still turned around, just in case he could get a glimpse of anything. He didn't want you to think he was perving on you like some weirdo.
He wasn't that type of guy.
You discarded all of your wet garments on his bathroom tile with a nasty plop. You don't think about them once they dropped, you felt liberated and you didn't want to stare down your oppressor.
"What should I do with my clothes?" You spoke through the door.
"You can leave them there, babe. I'll put them in the dryer for you, don't worry."
With that, you pull the oversized sweatshirt over your head, alongside the pajama pants that were too long. His height was never something that dawned on you until you were wearing his stuff.
They were covering your toes and actually dragging on the ground.
You bunched them up before finally turning the light off and returning back to his eerily empty room.
He's sitting on the edge of his bed now, pretending to be engorged in his phone and not like he was staring at the door, hoping to use telepathy to tell you to come out.
You can tell from how quickly its discarded.
When his gaze locked on you, he paused for a second, pupils widening with the heightened sense of a cat. You didn't have to look so cozy in his clothes.
He hadn't even done anything yet.
He cleared his throat even though it wasn't obstructed. Anything to not lose his cool this early.
"So are you going to make me do a scavenger hunt to find your books or are you going to make my job so much more easier?"
He smiled innocently.
"Of course not. I haven't eaten anything yet, and you know I can't think if I'm hungry, Y/n."
You were already on your first eye-roll of the day.
"I guess."
He stood up once you finally gave in, crossing the threshold so he could be in your space again, exactly in the way he missed in the last 24 hours.
"Well no one's going to drive out in this weather, that I know for sure. I wouldn't. And Jay doesn't really let me buy like pizza pockets or anything, says it's going to kill me quicker than all the instant noodles I eat. So we kind of only have ingredients here." He shrugged.
"Do you have any ground beef?" You inquired emotionlessly.
"Yeah." He confirmed.
"Do you have any spices?"
"Yeah."
"I have an idea."
୨ৎ
Yunjin always said you were a hazard in the kitchen, that all you knew how to do was make the simple things to keep yourself alive. You wanted to deny it, claim she was wrong but it was undeniable.
And one of those simple things you had mastered?
Tacos.
"Stop touching! You're going to burn yourself." You smacked his hand away for what felt like the fiftieth time.
"It's not my fault. It smells so good."
His hands wrapped around your middle like it's second nature, his head falling into the crook of your neck as you cooked on the stove.
"Where'd you learn how to make these?"
"You can learn how to make anything on internet these days. Especially when you don't have many places to go to."
He hears the disappointment in your voice, it knocked into him like book stacks. It clicked into his brain easily now that he knew what it sounded like.
"Not for lack of invitation. I asked you yesterday if you wanted—"
"Not parties, Hee. Definitely not yours. I wouldn't feel safe there." It was sad that it was true. He didn't want you to feel that way about something he only did to give people a good time.
He especially wanted to be able to show you some fun. Without inhibitions the way it was meant to be when you were young.
You deserved it.
"Even if my parties were dangerous — which they're not — I would protect you from any and everything that could harm you. I wouldn't invite you somewhere you wouldn't be protected."
"Mhm."
Your agreement could barely hold water, you're not looking at him, still focused on your task in front of you. You don't believe him and he wants so badly to shake that way of thinking right out of you.
He proves to be too eager in his quest to change your mind because he moved too quick and hits the pan right where the fire is and singed the tip of his finger.
"Ah, fuck!"
He buckled over and whimpered like it was the end of the world.
If there was one way to throw him off his rhythm, it was when he hurt himself. He never knew how to handle it. He reverted back into a baby, that's how low his pain tolerance was.
"You dummy! I told you it was hot." You were squatting down in front of him in no time. "Did your mom never teach you how to listen? Let me see, you baby." You grabbed his hand with force, investigating the growing boil on the tip of his pointer.
It wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be but you had to admit, he was cute when he was being dramatic.
"Where is your first aid kit?"
He uses his head to point underneath the sink, still wincing at the shiny sore beginning.
You moved fast, grabbing the little box and lifting him in on swoop.
You ripped his big ring off before turning on the water. He freezes once it splashes back at him, almost like a deer in the headlights.
"No, what are you doing?" He panicked, pulling back as if the water was going to be another thing that was about to burn him.
"I know what I'm doing. You have to run it under cool water first. I promise I'm not trying to kill you. Just let me help you."
That's enough to get him to stop fighting; he lets you rinse him (not without a fuss), you rub some burn cream right on the sight really rapidly to his chagrin, and you cover it up with a band-aid.
"I'm sorry, those dumb boys expect you to be their guide and you get put down by a pan? You are hopeless."
He doesn't say anything as you begin repackaging everything back up, his eyes are locked on you in way that's still examining, still confused if he's looking at you or someone else.
"How did you do that?" He sounds so far away, out of his body, like he's not the one asking the question.
"Do what, sweetheart?"
"Lock in so quickly for me just now. I acted like a complete child and you knew what to do immediately."
You meet his gaze with a light he had never seen in you. It definitely wasn't helping from how his heart was beating out of his chest right now. It certainly didn't make it better when you pushed your glasses up either.
"Have you never had anyone help you before?"
He looked up, recalling any instance in his life before now, scanning everything for the kind of action he had just gotten from you.
"Besides my mom when I was a kid, no. I figured I'm an adult, no one was going to save me so I had to do it myself."
You were shaking your head before he could even let the sentence marinate.
"That's not true. Everyone needs help sometimes. Even cute little dumb presidents." You kissed his bandaged finger with a smile.
You finished cooking without any hassle, he sits away from the stove just in case it wants to bite him again. You snickered at his antics but you didn't outwardly make fun of him. Somehow you figured it was his first time feeling this way.
When you're done, he tells you it'll be better if you ate in his bed. Apparently it was the most comfortable spot to eat in in the entire frat house. Mostly because it's where he had a lot of his meals.
You obliged, a comfy seat would never be turned down.
You two sat side-by-side against his headboard, knees bumping as you ate for what seemed like the first time in ages. Neither had ate today so that might have contributing.
And since tacos were one of the only dishes you could do really well, it was gone before either you could say a word.
All that was left behind was a content hum harmonizing in his quiet room.
"You're going to call me dramatic for this too, but I honestly don't care. That was one of the best meals I think I ever had." He rubbed his stomach, giving his food a nice pet on his way through his body.
"Weirdly enough, you're not the first boy to tell me that."
He takes your plate from you, stacking them up on his side table, out of the way.
"Oh yeah? Was the other one that cheating asshole? Don't listen to him. Matter fact, don't even mention him. As far as I'm concerned, he is a stain. If anyone else compliments your food, use me as a reference, not him."
You snorted like a woman in a trance, it almost didn't even sound like you for a second. "Ok, noted. Although, do you think you can talk about him that way having not known him?"
His beautiful browns locked on you like it was his job.
"I don't care if it was my best friend, he deserves double what he did to you. Maybe worse. You are too special of a girl to cheat on. I have to fight for your attention because he had it and he fucking wasted it. In my head, he's a loser."
As numb as you wished you could play it, that last sentence touched something in your supposed-dead heart and made it burn. Not the life-ending kind but the one you didn't know you missed until he returned it to you.
It didn't even seem to affect him the way it did you, this was just a normal Thursday for him.
The world just had to make him extra charming today.
It was pissing you off.
And making you want to kiss him a little.
You hadn't even noticed that he had gotten closer in saying that, his knee was now hovering over yours, your shoulders also touching from the proximity.
He was doing it on purpose and you couldn't find it in you to shun it anymore.
"You don't mean that." You shook your head, mustering up the last little fight you had left.
He cuts through it easily with that devilish smile of his. His strong hand came up, cradling your cheek like he wanted from the moment he met you. Your heart betrays you, making you lean into it.
"I would never lie to you."
Just then, like the world needed to send the biggest, brightest sign, thunder cracked across the sky all loud and overwhelming.
You jumped, a tense snap that went with the weather. Your instincts were akin to a feline. With the harsh rain attacking his glass windows, it sounded too loud to just to be water. And then the lights had to go out.
That was enough to make you fully meld your body into his.
You were practically in his lap when the next flash happened, trying to burying yourself in his neck in hopes that the big sounds would cease.
You realize your mistake as it's happening but you don't move and neither does he.
"Um, sorry." You sound regretful and yet, you gripped tighter once it hit again. "I was never too good around thunder as a kid. Or the dark. Something about just always seemed too much for me."
Another crack made him wrap around you, his warm arms bringing you close and keeping you safe from your fear.
"You don't have to be sorry, angel. It's not your fault. Do you want some help?"
The question sounds innocent enough, but in his low tone, it sounds how he means it, forbidden and not before touched.
"Help?"
Instantly, a switch flipped. His hands moved, pulling on your hips dangerously, like he wants to make it so you can't move. The adjust makes you gasp, but you welcome it.
"I can help you through it or I could leave you alone. Which one do you want?"
You figured you'd be disgusted when the topic finally officially came to the table. But under the guise of a distraction? You do anything to not have to think about the terror going on outside.
"Help me how?"
Your panic makes you a little slow but it's okay, he planned on moving slow anyway, especially since he was finally getting to have you so close.
The pressure of his fingers in your side start to drop, until they were pushing into your thigh, too close to where he wanted to be but not enough to be crossing a boundary. Although he can tell you like it from the squeak you let out.
He tries not to laugh at you because he knows it was involuntary but it's still cute.
"Do you mind if I touch you?"
You go to nod but the weather has other plans to send you back into his shoulder for safety.
"Uh-uh. If you're going to tell me what you want, you're going to have to look at me. Please, come on."
Against on your better judgment, you slowly lift your head amidst the chattering outside. You could hardly make out his face in the darkness, you couldn't tell if it was because of the fear or it was just the lighting.
But you can see his eyes and the altruistic-threaded lust that filled those twinkling irises.
How could you say no?
It calms you enough to let you speak clearly.
"I think you just want me to say it."
That shit-eating grin returned, a car passes by, putting it on full display.
"I really, really want you to say it. Like nothing would make me happier in this world."
The situation is so odd, you don't even notice the genuine laugh you give him.
"Fine." You scoffed. "Yes, I want you to touch me."
It breaks like a dam, he had been waiting so long that it wasn't possible to hold it back anymore. He lunges forward, tackling you into the bed, hovering over top of you so his lips could meet yours with urgency.
It's not soft or sweet like in the movies, it's rough and hungry. There was teeth and tongue thrashing everywhere, he was gripping you like he was in pain and you were the remedy.
His instincts kick in as his hands went lower, past the waistband of your (his) pants. You gasped into his mouth and your fingers grip onto his shoulders for stability.
That's his sign that he's moving too fast.
He pulled away even though he doesn't want to but he knows your lungs are screaming at you. You're not as used to this as he is. He doesn't let go as you catch your breath, his forehead rested against yours.
"Sorry, baby, I got too excited. I've wanted to do that since I first laid eyes on you."
A snicker falls from your mouth in your quest for air.
"What happened to that good self control?" You huffed, eyes still closed, your nose bumping against his.
"If I'm doing a lot, you can tell me. Just say the word and we can forget this ever happened."
And you hate your keen ears at the moment because you can hear the desperation in his voice. Not only does he want it as much as you do but he was willing to turn it off if you weren't ready.
That was the last thing you remembered him saying before everything disappeared alongside your clothes that came to paint the floor.
You were extremely grateful that all the other boys were gone. You would have hated if they heard any of the noises that came out of the two of you.
He probably wouldn't have minded since he kept trying to get you to be louder but either way, you let out a breath of air when you finally did fall asleep — cuddling him, the way he insisted.
୨ৎ
The sun broke through Heeseung's curtains cinematically, a bright spotlight being lit on this one moment. The rain of the day prior had dried and all that was left was beauty. As if it needed to be louder.
Here you two laid, him behind you with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you in unbelievably close, his breath was warm on your bare back, calming in the quiet.
His grip was tight like he thought you were going to run away.
If anyone were to bust in right now (like they did so naturally), they would probably think you were a couple.
But it was professional, you kept telling yourself, this was transactional. He was getting a service from you and soon enough, you'd be done. And it wasn't as promiscuous as your position would suggest.
This was just misread after a night of things you probably wouldn't mention if you kept tutoring.
Definitely not like this.
You woke up first, your body aware that this wasn't your bed or the fact that you weren't sleeping alone.
You tried to move, his limbs become a seatbelt, holding you in place.
"What if the boys are back? Someone's going to get the wrong idea."
He took that as a sign to nuzzle into you more, his nose finding the crook of your neck like it's his birthright.
"Good. They need to know who you belong to. You're my girl."
Your snort is involuntary but you don't stop it from bursting out into the emptiness. You flipped over to see him better and surely enough, he's still looking at you with those big browns of his, like you're something precious. His hand comes up and brushes your hair behind your ear.
"I don't know how many times I have to say this: I am not yours."
His lips pressed together to form a thin line. You didn't even believe yourself, why should he? Especially if he knew you as well as he proclaimed.
"You can keep saying it but you wouldn't be in my bed if you didn't like me a little," he caressed your cheek.
You don't fight it though, you let yourself lean into his soft hand slightly.
It felt nice, nice enough for you to forget where your head was, or how many heads like yours have graced his pillows after a night of giving into the bad desire every girl has.
But maybe it didn't have to be something heinous, you didn't have to regret it.
Not if he didn't.
For once, you're looking at him with inquisitive eyes, searching and hoping to find the awful bits. Something to grasp onto so you don’t have to admit how much you actually enjoy his company. But then he smiled, and it put a warm feeling in your chest, a warmth you couldn’t downplay.
“Okay, maybe a little.”
“I’ll take it,” his words are barely above a whisper as he ditches them to lean in and capture your lips again. He’s not as feral as he was before, he’s not trying to bite and nibble, he just felt like it.
"And for your information," he planted another kiss on your cheek, "the boys won't be back until this afternoon. I gave them a bunch of errands to run, just in case."
Your face crumpled, thinking of the possibilities of his vague statement.
"Just in case what?"
He pulled his underwear back on with a sweet smile.
"In case dreams come true." Once he winked at you, that's when it clicked for you. You pulled the blanket up completely covering your frame in embarrassment.
"Gross!"
"I'm just letting you know you have nothing to worry about. No one's going to see your cute little butt but me."
You couldn't see him but you could have sworn you heard a small laugh.
You hear him rummaging through drawers, probably looking for a clean pair of pants. You don't pop your head back out until you feel a weight by your side, right on the edge of the bed.
He's already looking at you when you peek.
"You want some breakfast? Jay does at least buy the good cereal."
You pretend to think about it and against your better judgment, you do end up eating cereal with Heeseung. In fact, you spend your entire morning with him.
You hate yourself because you tell him things about yourself when he asks, you shoved him playfully when he said something stupid, you let him hold you when he reached out, you even told him about your dream of being a writer; all things you would do if he was your boyfriend.
And him being so sweet, he welcomed all those things happily, as if he wanted to be.
It did tug on your mind a little.
Would it be so bad he was?
You thought about coming to the frat house instead of going all the way home after work, sleeping in his bed more often, kissing his pretty face whenever you wanted to.
It was a nice future, one you'd be completely okay with living.
Especially if it was filled with how he was staring at you right now.
He never interrupted you when you spoke, he kind of just watched you like there was nothing better to be looking at, as if he couldn't believe you were still sitting on his couch with him.
Eventually you noticed the clock: he had to get ready for his day and you had a shift at the library soon. This beautiful bubble you wished you could live in forever had to pop.
You peeled yourself out of comfortability, paying no mind to all of his whines and pleas.
"No! Where are you going?" He's frowning, reaching for your ankle as if that was going to stop you from putting your clothes back on.
"As fun as this is, playing make-believe all morning, at some point, I have to get back to my life." You slipped your now-dried pants back on, still a little warm from the dryer.
He doesn't comment, he just watches you change like you're trying so hard to get out of there.
Is this how girls felt freshman year, when he was pushing them out like his parents were coming home any minute?
It was an odd feeling.
"What are you doing later?"
"This is not going to be a regular occurence." You shook your head. You knew that's what he was grasping at, and you were really adamant on not stepping over the line more.
"That's not what I was going to ask."
It most certainly was, but it was just because he wanted you to sleep in his arms again. Might have been the best sleep of his life but he couldn't say that out loud without sounding crazy.
He scooted to the edge of the couch where you stood, pulling himself up to his knees so he was rightfully taller than you.
"God forbid a guy just wants to see you again."
You scrunched your nose but you would admit, your heart did jump.
"I'll let you know but no promises."
You go to slip your shoes on quickly, moving fast, you don't even think about swinging the door open, you just do it. You are smacked in the face violent from the cold breeze.
"What the hell? Why does it have to be cold on the one day I leave my jacket?" You smacked your teeth, pulling your sleeves down like it's going to combat the shiver.
He doesn't second guess, he's off of the couch without another word, opening his hall closet to pull out one of his hoodies.
"Here."
He opened it up, prompting you to duck your head so he could don you with it.
"Now it's like I'm walking you home."
You quirked a brow at him. "Are you sure you're not trying to like mark your territory? Make sure no other boys talk to me on my way home?"
He looked up all innocently like that wasn't his intention. You weren't dumb and he knew that.
"I mean, it wouldn't be completely awful if they saw you wearing my hoodie and knew to stay away."
You go to stick your hands in the pockets and are immediately met with something cold and hard. You pull it out haphazardly and are meet with the cursed ring from last night, a physical talisman that last night wasn't just something you imagined in your sleep.
"Oh! I was looking for that. I forgot I stashed it away in my pocket. The boys are always stealing my shit so I have to make sure I don't leave it out."
You placed it in his hand.
He tried to put his ring back on his burnt finger but you stopped him, you didn't want it to swell and get stuck. He loved watching you be worried for him, so he gave that to you too.
"Jeez, are you trying to make a Heeseung shield around me?"
He doesn't confirm or deny more of these claims, he just smiles, kisses your forehead and holds himself back because he knew if he had his way, he wouldn't have to watch you walk away.
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