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@simon-butcher-convict
Look. I'm not really sure I'm interested in all this... Internet bullshit, but a doctor friend of mine thought it would be good for me to socialize.
Don't be an ass.
This is an RP blog for Simon the Convict from the movie Iron Lung. This is primarily an RP blog, but I will still answer questions.
So what. You're not interested in Grace at all?
What I want and what I deserve are two different things.
Grace and Rocky like each other, who am I to get in the way of that?
Stupid stupid human! Rocky’s species practice polyamory. Grace and Simon can too.
It's more complicated than that, Rock. We've wouldn't work and I've got five damn good reasons why. And I'm okay with that. Being' around you guys is enough.
Nobody else will admit it but I will:
I'd fuck the rock
Oh? Would you? After giving me sooooo much crap for it!?
Rocky does not think Rocky was meant to see this, statement.
You're right! I was trying to keep it a secret, which is why I posted it publicly for all the internet to see. Very astute observation.
No need for sarcasm. Maybe not wanted Rocky to see even if public could. Do humans not get embarrassed to share feelings to subject of desire like Eridians, question?
Well, they do, but they're stupid for feeling like that. Where I'm from, feeling embarrassed about confessing your feelings is a luxury. There's not enough food or water and we're all gonna die anyways, who gives a shit if you like somebody.
Hell, where I'm from, love is a luxury. Having what you guys have is rare, and you're going to fucking waste it because you're too afraid of being rejected. It just pisses me off.
Rocky thinks Rocky understands. If know world ending why worry about such things, statement. All types of love very important to Eridians.
Not just about rejection. Human Eridian relationship completely new. Never been done before. Much uncertainty. Others may not accept.
Simon snorted. "Others won't accept. Not if they're like humans. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened. Nobody's ever seen it before. It will be strange and uncomfortable. They might feel disgusted. Some will feel disgusted for the rest of their lives. But some people will realize that you're two grown ass people. You're different, but you eat the same rations and shit in the same hole," he said—a really crude figure of speech from Eden.
He ducked his head and he sounded somber. "People think what they think. You can't always change that. So what are you really afraid of? Somebody you love leaving you?"
Rocky think Simon too smart. How Simon so insightful on others emotions, question?
Rocky does not want to be alone again. Rocky was alone for 46 human years on Blip-A. Rocky not doing that again, statement. Rocky not losing very close friends.
Simon ducked his head and chuckled. His face felt hot. "It's just observing behavior. I've got a lot of practice. You're smart. You're loyal. You care a lot even if you're an ass sometimes. Who is it you're worried will leave you?"
46 years... fuck. He shuddered. He'd done stints in isolation; he'd felt oppressive loneliness inside the Iron Lung. 46 years was genuinely unfathomable. Simon could barely wrap his mind around the sheer loneliness he must've felt.
That kind of loneliness could drive a person to madness.
"No, you shouldn't have to go through that ever again,"
Rocky makes happy noises at Simon’s compliments.
“Rocky weird. Grace could freak out about Rocky’s feelings. Mate Adrian could since Grace no Eridian. Thought Simon could. Obviously wrong on that one.”
“Other Eridians on Blip-A did not choose to leave Rocky. They died. Grace said from radiation.”
"But Adrian might also understand that you were alone for an unfathomably long time. Your people are social, I'm sure isolation fucks you up. Then, you were alone with him for years. You're both equally intelligent, you're adults, you can communicate and consent. If you really think about it, what's the problem? Adrian is intelligent. They'll understand,"
He shook his head and rubbed his damaged hand against his chest—it was scarred, burned by the radiation from pressing the button. "Radiation is awful. It makes you sick for no reason. It says you from the inside out and you have no idea what happened. I'm so sorry,"
“Simon right. Simon much logic. Mate Adrian will understand. Mate Adrian very smart and understanding.” Rocky taps the floor. “Rocky very happy no alone anymore. Rocky greatful for Grace and Simon, statement.”
Simon say down, then laid on the floor, starfished out with his limbs splayed. "Heh, I'm grateful for you guys too. I'm really lucky to have you guys, you know? It's not just the food and water. Nobody on this ship fights, not really. There's no violence. And you guys are so good to me. Patient and understanding and shit. I'm really grateful for everything you guys have done for me,"
Hello i am 1 years old and learning to read through your posts fuck
How the fuck does some shit-ass baby get on Tumblr?
Nobody else will admit it but I will:
I'd fuck the rock
Oh? Would you? After giving me sooooo much crap for it!?
Rocky does not think Rocky was meant to see this, statement.
You're right! I was trying to keep it a secret, which is why I posted it publicly for all the internet to see. Very astute observation.
No need for sarcasm. Maybe not wanted Rocky to see even if public could. Do humans not get embarrassed to share feelings to subject of desire like Eridians, question?
Well, they do, but they're stupid for feeling like that. Where I'm from, feeling embarrassed about confessing your feelings is a luxury. There's not enough food or water and we're all gonna die anyways, who gives a shit if you like somebody.
Hell, where I'm from, love is a luxury. Having what you guys have is rare, and you're going to fucking waste it because you're too afraid of being rejected. It just pisses me off.
Rocky thinks Rocky understands. If know world ending why worry about such things, statement. All types of love very important to Eridians.
Not just about rejection. Human Eridian relationship completely new. Never been done before. Much uncertainty. Others may not accept.
Simon snorted. "Others won't accept. Not if they're like humans. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened. Nobody's ever seen it before. It will be strange and uncomfortable. They might feel disgusted. Some will feel disgusted for the rest of their lives. But some people will realize that you're two grown ass people. You're different, but you eat the same rations and shit in the same hole," he said—a really crude figure of speech from Eden.
He ducked his head and he sounded somber. "People think what they think. You can't always change that. So what are you really afraid of? Somebody you love leaving you?"
Rocky think Simon too smart. How Simon so insightful on others emotions, question?
Rocky does not want to be alone again. Rocky was alone for 46 human years on Blip-A. Rocky not doing that again, statement. Rocky not losing very close friends.
Simon ducked his head and chuckled. His face felt hot. "It's just observing behavior. I've got a lot of practice. You're smart. You're loyal. You care a lot even if you're an ass sometimes. Who is it you're worried will leave you?"
46 years... fuck. He shuddered. He'd done stints in isolation; he'd felt oppressive loneliness inside the Iron Lung. 46 years was genuinely unfathomable. Simon could barely wrap his mind around the sheer loneliness he must've felt.
That kind of loneliness could drive a person to madness.
"No, you shouldn't have to go through that ever again,"
Rocky makes happy noises at Simon’s compliments.
“Rocky weird. Grace could freak out about Rocky’s feelings. Mate Adrian could since Grace no Eridian. Thought Simon could. Obviously wrong on that one.”
“Other Eridians on Blip-A did not choose to leave Rocky. They died. Grace said from radiation.”
"But Adrian might also understand that you were alone for an unfathomably long time. Your people are social, I'm sure isolation fucks you up. Then, you were alone with him for years. You're both equally intelligent, you're adults, you can communicate and consent. If you really think about it, what's the problem? Adrian is intelligent. They'll understand,"
He shook his head and rubbed his damaged hand against his chest—it was scarred, burned by the radiation from pressing the button. "Radiation is awful. It makes you sick for no reason. It says you from the inside out and you have no idea what happened. I'm so sorry,"
Nobody else will admit it but I will:
I'd fuck the rock
Oh? Would you? After giving me sooooo much crap for it!?
Rocky does not think Rocky was meant to see this, statement.
You're right! I was trying to keep it a secret, which is why I posted it publicly for all the internet to see. Very astute observation.
No need for sarcasm. Maybe not wanted Rocky to see even if public could. Do humans not get embarrassed to share feelings to subject of desire like Eridians, question?
Well, they do, but they're stupid for feeling like that. Where I'm from, feeling embarrassed about confessing your feelings is a luxury. There's not enough food or water and we're all gonna die anyways, who gives a shit if you like somebody.
Hell, where I'm from, love is a luxury. Having what you guys have is rare, and you're going to fucking waste it because you're too afraid of being rejected. It just pisses me off.
Rocky thinks Rocky understands. If know world ending why worry about such things, statement. All types of love very important to Eridians.
Not just about rejection. Human Eridian relationship completely new. Never been done before. Much uncertainty. Others may not accept.
Simon snorted. "Others won't accept. Not if they're like humans. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened. Nobody's ever seen it before. It will be strange and uncomfortable. They might feel disgusted. Some will feel disgusted for the rest of their lives. But some people will realize that you're two grown ass people. You're different, but you eat the same rations and shit in the same hole," he said—a really crude figure of speech from Eden.
He ducked his head and he sounded somber. "People think what they think. You can't always change that. So what are you really afraid of? Somebody you love leaving you?"
Rocky think Simon too smart. How Simon so insightful on others emotions, question?
Rocky does not want to be alone again. Rocky was alone for 46 human years on Blip-A. Rocky not doing that again, statement. Rocky not losing very close friends.
Simon ducked his head and chuckled. His face felt hot. "It's just observing behavior. I've got a lot of practice. You're smart. You're loyal. You care a lot even if you're an ass sometimes. Who is it you're worried will leave you?"
46 years... fuck. He shuddered. He'd done stints in isolation; he'd felt oppressive loneliness inside the Iron Lung. 46 years was genuinely unfathomable. Simon could barely wrap his mind around the sheer loneliness he must've felt.
That kind of loneliness could drive a person to madness.
"No, you shouldn't have to go through that ever again,"
gay son or stew
What even the fuck does this mean
@simon-butcher-convict
Can you tell Rocky to leave me the fuck alone? He's asking questions about the fucking Iron Lung. He says he read on the "human thinking machine" that "humans need to talk about bad experiences to feel better" and he won't take no for an answer. I'm about to punt him out the airlock.
Okay, deep breath, no one needs to go out the airlock. I'll talk to him, you go sit by the window.
@rocky-big-science Rocky, buddy, I know you had good intentions but there's a reason the humans who do this have many years of training. So let's not pester Simon about it until or unless he's ready for it.
"You don't have to put me in time out like I'm a fucking child," Simon said irritably, despite doing exactly what was asked of him.
He did that a lot: bitching about being told what to do, but dutifully doing it anyway.
"I'm not putting you in time out, Simon, I'm helping you calm down so you don't trigger a flashback." Grace explains.
Simon reminded him a lot of one of his students- Jeremy did best with frank, blunt explanations without any sugarcoating too. "Being able to see the stars will help your brain remember where you are."
"It's not going to trigger a fucking flashback, I can handle a couple of questions," Simon grouched. "He's just being annoying about it. Didn't you ever teach him about the human concept of consent? Lousy fucking teacher if you ask me,"
He didn't say it with any real heat. Mostly, he was just grumpy because Grace was right. Grace was always right about everything and it was beyond annoying. Yes, seeing the stars made him feel better, yes Rocky's questions were starting to make him feel distressed. How the hell did Grace know so much about him, about how his brain worked?
Already he was starting to feel better. And Grace must've known because he was fucking smiling, annoying bastard.
"You don't have to look so smug about it,"
Grace smothers his smile. "Sorry, sorry. And I did, but you know how he is. He's stubborn as a mule when he thinks he's right." Like you, goes quietly unsaid.
He lets the teacher comment slide off. He knows Simon doesn't mean it and he's heard so much worse from the PTA moms. Simon had nothing on Martha Delaney after he gave her son a B on a test.
"I'll talk to him again. He does like you a lot, Simon. It's not out of any malice, you know?"
Simon rolled his head back and groaned. "God, don't say that. He's annoying. He's bossy. He's rude. I'm nothing like that!" Oh fuck. Grace was right again, wasn't he?
"He's NOTHING like me. He doesn't even have a face. He's got five limbs! We're nothing alike," he huffed.
"I don't even understand why he's so obsessed with 'fixing' me. He barely even knows me. You barely even know me,"
Grace just smiles gently and sits down next to Simon, bumping shoulders carefully- one of the only forms of contact they've been able to do so far. "As it so happens, I do know you. I know you're funny, and smart, and incredibly tough. I know you're kind when you feel like you're allowed to be. I know you don't back down from any kind of challenge."
"You and Rocky are a lot alike, so you butt heads a lot. But, end of the day, we both care about you. We just want to see you okay, even if he's not going about it in the best way."
Simon's nose wrinkled up in disgust and he clamped his hands over his ears. "Ugh, can you not be sappy and wholesome for five minutes please? I can only tolerate so much of your "rainbows and sunshine" bullshit before I start breaking out in hives,"
He looked out the window for a long moment. "People back home don't say shit like that, you know? On Eden, I mean. Everybody was supposed to be "family" but it was all superficial. None of it actually meant anything. I think the Father just didn't want anybody to love anybody else more than him. And the COI...."
He trailed off. "I don't know. You spend your whole life being told to hate people, that they hate you—and they DO hate you, but only because you hated them first. They treated their prisoners better than Eden treated its family,"
Grace tilts his head a bit. "Do you not like it when I say things like that? I can stop, if it makes you uncomfortable..."
He doesn't really want to. In his opinion, Simon could really use a bit of softness, and this conversation was really just cementing that. But he wouldn't overstep a boundary if Simon asked him not to.
"God stop saying shit like that!" Simon bemoaned. "You're too considerate, always asking me what I want. I don't know what I want and if you ask, I'm gonna have to think about it, then Im gonna have to think about all the time I spent not being allowed to figure out what I want, and I dont wanna think about that,"
Again, there was honesty to his words, but no real heat. Mostly. He was complaining just to complain. Yeah, it made him uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure he wanted it to stop. But he also wasn't sure if he deserved for it to continue and that was NOT something he wanted to think about. Not when he finally... what, felt safe? Had a real connection? He was the Butcher, Grace would be horrified to know what kind of man Simon really was, when push came to shove.
So Simon just wouldn't tell him. He was selfish, so what? He never had anything and now that he finally did, he wasn't giving it up.
"Yeah it makes me uncomfortable but don't stop. I'll get used to it," he said simply. "Now, if we could somehow trick Rocky into giving me a genuine compliment..."
Grace hums in understanding, scratching at the bit of scruff on his chin- oh, a bit longer than he prefers actually, time to shave again- and resolves to maybe ease up a bit on the compliments. He may have come on a bit too strongly, he's starting to realize.
With that in mind, he lets the topic change, to avoid shoving his foot in his mouth even further.
"He does, it's just in a very... Rocky way. But I bet we could get him to say something actually nice."
"If by "a very Rocky way" you mean "a backhanded compliment that ends with him insulting humanity" then, yes, I would agree with you," Simon snorted.
"You told me how you did some absolutely insane piloting to catch those little taumeoba guys, and I still hear him giving you shit about it. Honestly, I'd he did start dishing out genuine compliments, I'd be scared he was dying or something,"
"Absolutely insane is definitely a way to describe what I did, which I would classify as 'barely controlled and 87% dumb luck'." Grace retorts. "He's right to give me shit, that was terrible."
He leans over and nudges Simon again. "You might try leading by example, you know?"
Simon groaned. "Oh God, maybe you're right, maybe Rocky and I are more similar that I thought because you disgust me. Nobody, nobody should be that wholesome. Lead by example, he tells me. Who are you, Jesus? Bleh. I'm going to throw up. You are such a teacher," he groused but, damn. If he wasn't fond.
No, fond wasn't the word he was looking for. The word he was looking for was something more along the lines of "he'd kill anybody who so much as looked at Grace wrong".
"His ego is huge. What do I even compliment him on? 'Wow, Rocky, you're so good at engineering.' and then he'd say, 'Of course, I would not have been sent into space if I wasn't a good engineer. Simon statement dumb'," he said, doing his very best Rocky impression.
Grace just grins, long accustomed to this particular brand of "complaint". Simon may gripe and grouse but Grace knows very well that he doesn't mean a bit of it- though that took longer than he cares to admit to get through his head. There were some rough points at the start.
Simon doesn't hate you, that's just how he is. Sometimes Grace needs to remind himself but that's not anyone's problem but his own.
"Hm, maybe something he doesn't know, like his color! He can't see it after all, and he's got those pretty green inclusions."
Simon kicked Grace's shoe with his boot. He offered him a little smile. "Hey don't take it so hard. I don't mind teachers," he said softly. Okay, yeah. So he cared. He gave a shit about Grace's feelings, so what? He hated seeing him take all his bitching to heart.
"You want me to tell him he's pretty?" he huffed, before immediately relenting. "Okay, okay, I'll tell him he's pretty,"
"You got any more tips for getting on his good side?"
Hey, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I know I can be kind of an insensitive ass. I, uh... I won't bring it up again.
@simon-butcher-convict
Good
Do not :-)
So that's.... Like, apology accepted or....?
Nobody else will admit it but I will:
I'd fuck the rock
Oh? Would you? After giving me sooooo much crap for it!?
Rocky does not think Rocky was meant to see this, statement.
You're right! I was trying to keep it a secret, which is why I posted it publicly for all the internet to see. Very astute observation.
No need for sarcasm. Maybe not wanted Rocky to see even if public could. Do humans not get embarrassed to share feelings to subject of desire like Eridians, question?
Well, they do, but they're stupid for feeling like that. Where I'm from, feeling embarrassed about confessing your feelings is a luxury. There's not enough food or water and we're all gonna die anyways, who gives a shit if you like somebody.
Hell, where I'm from, love is a luxury. Having what you guys have is rare, and you're going to fucking waste it because you're too afraid of being rejected. It just pisses me off.
Rocky thinks Rocky understands. If know world ending why worry about such things, statement. All types of love very important to Eridians.
Not just about rejection. Human Eridian relationship completely new. Never been done before. Much uncertainty. Others may not accept.
Simon snorted. "Others won't accept. Not if they're like humans. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened. Nobody's ever seen it before. It will be strange and uncomfortable. They might feel disgusted. Some will feel disgusted for the rest of their lives. But some people will realize that you're two grown ass people. You're different, but you eat the same rations and shit in the same hole," he said—a really crude figure of speech from Eden.
He ducked his head and he sounded somber. "People think what they think. You can't always change that. So what are you really afraid of? Somebody you love leaving you?"
Grace does love simon. Loves simon and rocky.
Yeah, he probably does. But that isn't the problem, okay?
Grace *like* likes you, is what the other anon was trying to say
*Like* likes me? What are you, 12?
I'm the only other human in 16 light-years. He hasn't been touched by another human since he was loaded on the ship. I'd be more surprised if he didn't want to fuck.
And if he asked, I'd say yes and it would kill me. Know why? Because I actually DO like him. Of course I like him, he's soft and gentle and handsome. But it won't work. Nothing between us would ever work because we're fundamentally incompatible.
And I'm not just saying that to be pessimistic, it's true. I've thought about it a lot, and I'm smarter than people give me credit for.
@simon-butcher-convict
Can you tell Rocky to leave me the fuck alone? He's asking questions about the fucking Iron Lung. He says he read on the "human thinking machine" that "humans need to talk about bad experiences to feel better" and he won't take no for an answer. I'm about to punt him out the airlock.
Okay, deep breath, no one needs to go out the airlock. I'll talk to him, you go sit by the window.
@rocky-big-science Rocky, buddy, I know you had good intentions but there's a reason the humans who do this have many years of training. So let's not pester Simon about it until or unless he's ready for it.
"You don't have to put me in time out like I'm a fucking child," Simon said irritably, despite doing exactly what was asked of him.
He did that a lot: bitching about being told what to do, but dutifully doing it anyway.
"I'm not putting you in time out, Simon, I'm helping you calm down so you don't trigger a flashback." Grace explains.
Simon reminded him a lot of one of his students- Jeremy did best with frank, blunt explanations without any sugarcoating too. "Being able to see the stars will help your brain remember where you are."
"It's not going to trigger a fucking flashback, I can handle a couple of questions," Simon grouched. "He's just being annoying about it. Didn't you ever teach him about the human concept of consent? Lousy fucking teacher if you ask me,"
He didn't say it with any real heat. Mostly, he was just grumpy because Grace was right. Grace was always right about everything and it was beyond annoying. Yes, seeing the stars made him feel better, yes Rocky's questions were starting to make him feel distressed. How the hell did Grace know so much about him, about how his brain worked?
Already he was starting to feel better. And Grace must've known because he was fucking smiling, annoying bastard.
"You don't have to look so smug about it,"
Grace smothers his smile. "Sorry, sorry. And I did, but you know how he is. He's stubborn as a mule when he thinks he's right." Like you, goes quietly unsaid.
He lets the teacher comment slide off. He knows Simon doesn't mean it and he's heard so much worse from the PTA moms. Simon had nothing on Martha Delaney after he gave her son a B on a test.
"I'll talk to him again. He does like you a lot, Simon. It's not out of any malice, you know?"
Simon rolled his head back and groaned. "God, don't say that. He's annoying. He's bossy. He's rude. I'm nothing like that!" Oh fuck. Grace was right again, wasn't he?
"He's NOTHING like me. He doesn't even have a face. He's got five limbs! We're nothing alike," he huffed.
"I don't even understand why he's so obsessed with 'fixing' me. He barely even knows me. You barely even know me,"
Grace just smiles gently and sits down next to Simon, bumping shoulders carefully- one of the only forms of contact they've been able to do so far. "As it so happens, I do know you. I know you're funny, and smart, and incredibly tough. I know you're kind when you feel like you're allowed to be. I know you don't back down from any kind of challenge."
"You and Rocky are a lot alike, so you butt heads a lot. But, end of the day, we both care about you. We just want to see you okay, even if he's not going about it in the best way."
Simon's nose wrinkled up in disgust and he clamped his hands over his ears. "Ugh, can you not be sappy and wholesome for five minutes please? I can only tolerate so much of your "rainbows and sunshine" bullshit before I start breaking out in hives,"
He looked out the window for a long moment. "People back home don't say shit like that, you know? On Eden, I mean. Everybody was supposed to be "family" but it was all superficial. None of it actually meant anything. I think the Father just didn't want anybody to love anybody else more than him. And the COI...."
He trailed off. "I don't know. You spend your whole life being told to hate people, that they hate you—and they DO hate you, but only because you hated them first. They treated their prisoners better than Eden treated its family,"
Grace tilts his head a bit. "Do you not like it when I say things like that? I can stop, if it makes you uncomfortable..."
He doesn't really want to. In his opinion, Simon could really use a bit of softness, and this conversation was really just cementing that. But he wouldn't overstep a boundary if Simon asked him not to.
"God stop saying shit like that!" Simon bemoaned. "You're too considerate, always asking me what I want. I don't know what I want and if you ask, I'm gonna have to think about it, then Im gonna have to think about all the time I spent not being allowed to figure out what I want, and I dont wanna think about that,"
Again, there was honesty to his words, but no real heat. Mostly. He was complaining just to complain. Yeah, it made him uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure he wanted it to stop. But he also wasn't sure if he deserved for it to continue and that was NOT something he wanted to think about. Not when he finally... what, felt safe? Had a real connection? He was the Butcher, Grace would be horrified to know what kind of man Simon really was, when push came to shove.
So Simon just wouldn't tell him. He was selfish, so what? He never had anything and now that he finally did, he wasn't giving it up.
"Yeah it makes me uncomfortable but don't stop. I'll get used to it," he said simply. "Now, if we could somehow trick Rocky into giving me a genuine compliment..."
Grace hums in understanding, scratching at the bit of scruff on his chin- oh, a bit longer than he prefers actually, time to shave again- and resolves to maybe ease up a bit on the compliments. He may have come on a bit too strongly, he's starting to realize.
With that in mind, he lets the topic change, to avoid shoving his foot in his mouth even further.
"He does, it's just in a very... Rocky way. But I bet we could get him to say something actually nice."
"If by "a very Rocky way" you mean "a backhanded compliment that ends with him insulting humanity" then, yes, I would agree with you," Simon snorted.
"You told me how you did some absolutely insane piloting to catch those little taumeoba guys, and I still hear him giving you shit about it. Honestly, I'd he did start dishing out genuine compliments, I'd be scared he was dying or something,"
"Absolutely insane is definitely a way to describe what I did, which I would classify as 'barely controlled and 87% dumb luck'." Grace retorts. "He's right to give me shit, that was terrible."
He leans over and nudges Simon again. "You might try leading by example, you know?"
Simon groaned. "Oh God, maybe you're right, maybe Rocky and I are more similar that I thought because you disgust me. Nobody, nobody should be that wholesome. Lead by example, he tells me. Who are you, Jesus? Bleh. I'm going to throw up. You are such a teacher," he groused but, damn. If he wasn't fond.
No, fond wasn't the word he was looking for. The word he was looking for was something more along the lines of "he'd kill anybody who so much as looked at Grace wrong".
"His ego is huge. What do I even compliment him on? 'Wow, Rocky, you're so good at engineering.' and then he'd say, 'Of course, I would not have been sent into space if I wasn't a good engineer. Simon statement dumb'," he said, doing his very best Rocky impression.
@simon-butcher-convict
Can you tell Rocky to leave me the fuck alone? He's asking questions about the fucking Iron Lung. He says he read on the "human thinking machine" that "humans need to talk about bad experiences to feel better" and he won't take no for an answer. I'm about to punt him out the airlock.
Okay, deep breath, no one needs to go out the airlock. I'll talk to him, you go sit by the window.
@rocky-big-science Rocky, buddy, I know you had good intentions but there's a reason the humans who do this have many years of training. So let's not pester Simon about it until or unless he's ready for it.
"You don't have to put me in time out like I'm a fucking child," Simon said irritably, despite doing exactly what was asked of him.
He did that a lot: bitching about being told what to do, but dutifully doing it anyway.
"I'm not putting you in time out, Simon, I'm helping you calm down so you don't trigger a flashback." Grace explains.
Simon reminded him a lot of one of his students- Jeremy did best with frank, blunt explanations without any sugarcoating too. "Being able to see the stars will help your brain remember where you are."
"It's not going to trigger a fucking flashback, I can handle a couple of questions," Simon grouched. "He's just being annoying about it. Didn't you ever teach him about the human concept of consent? Lousy fucking teacher if you ask me,"
He didn't say it with any real heat. Mostly, he was just grumpy because Grace was right. Grace was always right about everything and it was beyond annoying. Yes, seeing the stars made him feel better, yes Rocky's questions were starting to make him feel distressed. How the hell did Grace know so much about him, about how his brain worked?
Already he was starting to feel better. And Grace must've known because he was fucking smiling, annoying bastard.
"You don't have to look so smug about it,"
Grace smothers his smile. "Sorry, sorry. And I did, but you know how he is. He's stubborn as a mule when he thinks he's right." Like you, goes quietly unsaid.
He lets the teacher comment slide off. He knows Simon doesn't mean it and he's heard so much worse from the PTA moms. Simon had nothing on Martha Delaney after he gave her son a B on a test.
"I'll talk to him again. He does like you a lot, Simon. It's not out of any malice, you know?"
Simon rolled his head back and groaned. "God, don't say that. He's annoying. He's bossy. He's rude. I'm nothing like that!" Oh fuck. Grace was right again, wasn't he?
"He's NOTHING like me. He doesn't even have a face. He's got five limbs! We're nothing alike," he huffed.
"I don't even understand why he's so obsessed with 'fixing' me. He barely even knows me. You barely even know me,"
Grace just smiles gently and sits down next to Simon, bumping shoulders carefully- one of the only forms of contact they've been able to do so far. "As it so happens, I do know you. I know you're funny, and smart, and incredibly tough. I know you're kind when you feel like you're allowed to be. I know you don't back down from any kind of challenge."
"You and Rocky are a lot alike, so you butt heads a lot. But, end of the day, we both care about you. We just want to see you okay, even if he's not going about it in the best way."
Simon's nose wrinkled up in disgust and he clamped his hands over his ears. "Ugh, can you not be sappy and wholesome for five minutes please? I can only tolerate so much of your "rainbows and sunshine" bullshit before I start breaking out in hives,"
He looked out the window for a long moment. "People back home don't say shit like that, you know? On Eden, I mean. Everybody was supposed to be "family" but it was all superficial. None of it actually meant anything. I think the Father just didn't want anybody to love anybody else more than him. And the COI...."
He trailed off. "I don't know. You spend your whole life being told to hate people, that they hate you—and they DO hate you, but only because you hated them first. They treated their prisoners better than Eden treated its family,"
Grace tilts his head a bit. "Do you not like it when I say things like that? I can stop, if it makes you uncomfortable..."
He doesn't really want to. In his opinion, Simon could really use a bit of softness, and this conversation was really just cementing that. But he wouldn't overstep a boundary if Simon asked him not to.
"God stop saying shit like that!" Simon bemoaned. "You're too considerate, always asking me what I want. I don't know what I want and if you ask, I'm gonna have to think about it, then Im gonna have to think about all the time I spent not being allowed to figure out what I want, and I dont wanna think about that,"
Again, there was honesty to his words, but no real heat. Mostly. He was complaining just to complain. Yeah, it made him uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure he wanted it to stop. But he also wasn't sure if he deserved for it to continue and that was NOT something he wanted to think about. Not when he finally... what, felt safe? Had a real connection? He was the Butcher, Grace would be horrified to know what kind of man Simon really was, when push came to shove.
So Simon just wouldn't tell him. He was selfish, so what? He never had anything and now that he finally did, he wasn't giving it up.
"Yeah it makes me uncomfortable but don't stop. I'll get used to it," he said simply. "Now, if we could somehow trick Rocky into giving me a genuine compliment..."
Grace hums in understanding, scratching at the bit of scruff on his chin- oh, a bit longer than he prefers actually, time to shave again- and resolves to maybe ease up a bit on the compliments. He may have come on a bit too strongly, he's starting to realize.
With that in mind, he lets the topic change, to avoid shoving his foot in his mouth even further.
"He does, it's just in a very... Rocky way. But I bet we could get him to say something actually nice."
"If by "a very Rocky way" you mean "a backhanded compliment that ends with him insulting humanity" then, yes, I would agree with you," Simon snorted.
"You told me how you did some absolutely insane piloting to catch those little taumeoba guys, and I still hear him giving you shit about it. Honestly, I'd he did start dishing out genuine compliments, I'd be scared he was dying or something,"
Grace likes you and rocky
Have you met Grace? Grace likes everybody. I could give him a rock and he'd get attached to it.
Oh wait...
Nobody else will admit it but I will:
I'd fuck the rock
Oh? Would you? After giving me sooooo much crap for it!?
Rocky does not think Rocky was meant to see this, statement.
You're right! I was trying to keep it a secret, which is why I posted it publicly for all the internet to see. Very astute observation.
No need for sarcasm. Maybe not wanted Rocky to see even if public could. Do humans not get embarrassed to share feelings to subject of desire like Eridians, question?
Well, they do, but they're stupid for feeling like that. Where I'm from, feeling embarrassed about confessing your feelings is a luxury. There's not enough food or water and we're all gonna die anyways, who gives a shit if you like somebody.
Hell, where I'm from, love is a luxury. Having what you guys have is rare, and you're going to fucking waste it because you're too afraid of being rejected. It just pisses me off.
<Simon make move on grace question?>
Oh yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to make Rocky and Grace admit their feelings for each other because I'm secretly in love with Grace! What a fucking brilliant plan! You caught me!
