You are so much more than the boy who won’t give you the chance you deserve. Your self worth is not, nor will it ever be, measured by one ungrateful boy who always took advantage of the way you treated him like he was a god in your world.
He is not a god, sweetheart. Look real closely at him, look real hard, and reflect on how he has treated you. Smile because he was amazing. Cry because he was cruel. Then know that he does not need to be punished for it.
He is lovely in his own way and you should not be upset with yourself for falling so easily into his loveliness. Any one with a heart the size of yours would’ve done the same. You are not alone in your decision to stick by his side. You may have been mistaken for staying as long as you did, but he was wrong for stringing you along the way he did. No one is perfect.
Someday, some very lucky girl will call him hers but you won’t cringe at the idea of his heart belonging to someone else entirely because someday you will have someone, some very lucky boy who appreciates you 10x more than he ever could have.
But until then you must learn to love yourself fiercely and adequately. You are an ocean of love, overflowing radiantly to anyone lucky enough to know you and he was just a self centered, beautiful, but empty boy. You had an entire ocean and you still could not fill his void. That says a lot more about him than it ever could about you.
You did nothing wrong.
And you will surely find another blue eyed boy to fall in love with.
You do not need him and you never did, darling, you never did.
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