The Bog Blog

Worldy Water Closets by Simon Kendrick

[simonofkendrick]

You can always trust a British bog to have a bit of toilet paper. And handles for when things get tough.

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It's not all bad, check this posh privy! More an exception than a restroom rule here.

[simonofkendrick]

What else can I say - this is India's answer to Virgin Rail's first-class closets. At least there's no need to flush.

[simonofkendrick]

This was the 'bathroom' in a guesthouse we had the misfortune of staying in for a night. Notice the broken seat neatly positioned on the floor to the side of the loo. The two buckets are for washing; one for your body and one for your bum.

[simonofkendrick]

On India

India. It's often described in travel guides and holiday brochures as the 'Land of Contrasts', and India certainly has its fair share of contrasts - days of bright blue skies and glorious sunshine followed by torrential monsoon downpours and apocalyptic black clouds. Areas of flat, expansive desert plains bordered by huge rock peaks that rise almost sporadically out of the ground like shards of glass on a sandy beach. Giant glass-fronted technology stores selling the latest devices from the biggest names, right next door to winding bazaar streets crammed full of people grinding spices and weaving baskets in the same way they've done for hundreds of years. Religious people who believe in peace and harmony and that every soul on earth is sacred be it human, animal or insect; and people who have built their career through scamming, conning and falsely convincing others they can be trusted. India really is a land of contrasts. However, I don't believe this quite conveys how diverse this place really is. I think 'The Land of Opposites' is more appropriate. Allow me to explain. Saying a 'slum' town, built near a mammoth dumping ground that houses hundreds of people living in hand made wood and plastic tents; and a palace built by over 20,000 people in memory of one woman, using most of southern Asia's marble and precious gemstones from as far away as the Middle East and Mongolia are simple 'contrasts' is an understatement of divine proportions. Also, Is a place where you can stay in a palace hotel floating on a lake, in a luxury suite adorned with antique ornaments, solid gold furnishings and cashmere linen; and pay more money per night than some whole families will earn during their lifetime, nothing more than a contrast in society? I don't think so. I've barely seen the tip of this beautiful, ugly; frustrating, relaxing; noisy, serene; manic and chilled, 'Land of Opposites' as I'll call it, and what I have seen I am amazed by - I love it....and hate it of course.

[simonofkendrick]

Have a shower after your meal.

[simonofkendrick]

Good vs Evil

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I tried to use this and realised I couldn't work out how to so promptly left.

[simonofkendrick]

Bum Gun 2.0. What a machine.

[simonofkendrick]

This is a quaint stone outhouse attached to a little forest hut on the island of Koh Yao Noi in Thailand. What you can't tell from this photo is the pebble floor is teeming with spiders. The reason the toilet is so clean is people are too terrified to use it. Nice bum gun though.

[simonofkendrick]

Birmingham's Boring Bogs

The toilets around my usual stomping ground are generally a bit boring. A couple of exceptions to this are my friends' microbiology-lab-loo and the curry house down the road with a fully functioning bum gun (If you're unaware of bum guns you're missing out!). Because of this current shortage of appealing outhouses, I've dug out a few old snaps of some better bogs I've had the pleasure of visiting.

[simonofkendrick]

The Toilet

Known by many names including the loo, the John, the khazi, the bog, the restroom - the list is long. This most private of places can give a fascinating insight into the crapping customs and hygiene habits of other cultures. From jaw-droppingly-dazzling dunnies to stinking-squat-hole swannies; this is my unconventional take on blogging, showcasing the wonder of the world's latrines in glorious full colour. Not all posts will be as alliterative as this one.