For the ship thing: Saphael
*heart eyes* THANK YOU(I don’t know if it’s my headcanons for AU or canon, but it doesn’t matter really)
Gives nose/forehead kisses: Raphael gives Simon forehead kisses, Simon gives Raphael nose kisses. Raphael does this almost every time he passes busy with anything Simon. Simon does this every time he sees Raphael smiles. Amen for that.
Gets jealous the most: Raphael is the queen of being jealous. And he gets jealous about EVERYONE. Clary. Izzy. Jace. Some guy asking Simon what time is it. Postman. It doesn’t matter. He is very insecure in “I know that Simon is the cutest person ever and everyone wants be near him but he’s mine” way. Simon always laughs at that and knows things because of which Raphael forgets why was he mad.
Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive: I love the idea of Magnus dragging Raphael out sometimes and two of them getting smashed, arguing which boyfriend is better. Alec with Simon need to take care of them afterwards and sending funny pictures of their loved ones to each other.
Takes care of on sick days: Simon. Because he always think that, even if Raphael has normal flu, he’s going to die. And he takes it too seriously, not allowing the man to even get up without help. That’s why Raphael hates being sick. Of course, he loves when Simon takes care of him, but not in that panicked way.
Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: My headcanon is that in every AU Raphael LOVES sun. And loves hot weather and beaches and everything he can’t have in canon. And I believe Simon doesn’t like swimming (maybe because he can’t) and Raphael always drags him knowing too well they’ll have a lot of fun anyway. And they have, every time.
Gives unprompted massages: Raphael. He knows he’s good with his hands and Simon knows it even more, and every time Raphael gives him massages he forgets about entire world and can’t control himself and his voice, so Raphael likes to use this fact to shut Simon up.
Drives/rides shotgun: Simon. Raphael loves driving and Simon loves playing with music and air conditioning. He also can’t concentrate too much in one thing, so he needs to be occupied by something more than looking at road before him.
Brings the other lunch at work: They are both the same bad at remember about eating, but more Raphael remind Simon about it, like in series. Simon has sometimes worse days, when he don’t want to eat, so then Raphael needs to persuade him he needs to. And he know how to do this.
Has the better parental relationship: None of them. It’s only my headcanon, but I always imagine Simon’s mother being, at the same times, too controlling and not taking enough interest in Simon’s life, and his father isn’t even in his life. As we all know, even when Raphael loves his mother, she’s not the best person in the entire universe. So I don’t think any of them has healthy relationship with parents.
Tries to start role-playing in bed: Hm… tough one. Even if I don’t think it’s their thing, I guess Simon would want to try. And Raphael, of course, agrees with his favourite person in the entire universe. And it doesn’t end well. But they tried, right?
Embarrassingly drunk dancer: HAHAHA, that’s Simon one. For sure. I know Raphael knows how to dance, and drunk Raphael does this even better, but lemme tell you about Simon trying to do pirouettes while drunk. Or moonwalk. Alec and Clary has entire videos collection about SImon dancing.
Still cries watching Titanic: They both do, but I guess Raphael would be the one who tries to hide it, and Simon just cries in Raphael’s sleeve for entire ending. They both hate this movie. But watches it every time they can.
Firmly believes in couples costumes: Of course it’s Simon. And I stand by my headcanon that they’re both comic nerds, so it’s always some pairing from new superheroes movie or comic. Every time before costume party they have the same row about Raphael being like “NO I WON’T WEAR THIS” and Simon pleading (or laughing). Then Raphael always ends with “that stupid costume” and states he would never do this again. And he does, of course.
Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: Simon is offended first time Raphael buys him something expensive on their first christmas. Simon is creative person, who loves DOING presents and loving receiving ones. Raphael never does the same misteake twice.
Makes the other eat breakfast: If it goes about breakfast, it’s Simon who makes Raphael eat at the morning. Raphael is always busy at the morning and sometimes just forgets about something so mundane like eating. But Simon reminds him. Every day.
Remembers anniversaries: They both do. Their relationship is so important for both of them that they always remember. And, because most of the times, they comes up to the ideas on celebrating that anniversaties at the same time, they decides it’s better when they’ll choose which one will do stuff at this particular day (if you know what that means)
Brings up having kids: Okay. So I think Simon wants to have kids from the beginning, but he knows it’s not so simple with Raphael, so he gives this time, a lot of time, but sometime just reminds Raphael there is something like kids in the world. And one day they’re doing something together and Raphael sees one big, happy family and feels warm inside, just thinking about him and Simon being able to show some smol bby the world. So he just says “I want us to be a family with kids”. And Simon just cries from happiness. And they have kids. And they are happy. Everyone is happy. Yes.
THANK YOU THAT WAS SO GOOD OMG I LOVE THIS <3