That Golden Retriever Friend

Mortier died by a failed assassination attempt. Now he is not quite alive but still kicking All you need to know about him is that he’s a big guy and wants to be friends!!

[simple-giant-ed]

Salut and Bonjour to all my old and new comrades!

This is the Marshal Édouard Mortier, Duke of Treviso, 15th Prime Minister of France …but it seems best to forego the celebrations considering my current, ah, state. That is, I am dead! Yet talking? Haha! So then, call me Ed or Morty or that big tall guy, I don’t mind!

With that, you must know I’m a simple and honest man, so I have but a simple and honest response to this change: Joining my fellow dead-ish friends in what is the Internet~! I have not a clue to what this is, so answers may be slow and patience much appreciated. Nevertheless, I’ll happily take in any friendly letters or queries to the best of my ability. I will be good natured, I promise! It is quite lonely here and I have plentiful of dragées to dispense.

Also, goodness! There’s a lot of us here. Hello!

OOC NOTE: 2nd hello! This is a very inaccurate roleplay blog of Napoleonic France’s Marshal Mortier by @isa-ko .

I tend to be a very busy student, so response time can vary😣🙏 Anyways, Mortier appreciation time!

[simple-giant-ed]

(When Mortier opens the door, an avalanche of presents falls inside!)

- @generaldesaix and @general-alex-dumas

OH SHI-

All the presents crash onto him. The marshal will poke his head out of the sea of presents cartoon-styled and look around.

Mon dieu are all these for me?? This is too much, too much! Haha they better not all have things inside! I can’t accept so many..

He reads the labels

Thank you to Desaix and.. Dumas!? He’s here too now?? Oh well thank you and salut, my friend :)

[general-alex-dumas]

You are quite welcome, Mortier. I seem to have awoken in this realm a while back and some rules are still a mystery…

[simple-giant-ed]

Oh! Well I’ve been awake for a bit longer although still just as confused. I hope you haven’t run into anything existentially challenging yet. Here, this will help.

He hands you a dragée. It should be tasty

[simple-giant-ed]

(When Mortier opens the door, an avalanche of presents falls inside!)

- @generaldesaix and @general-alex-dumas

OH SHI-

All the presents crash onto him. The marshal will poke his head out of the sea of presents cartoon-styled and look around.

Mon dieu are all these for me?? This is too much, too much! Haha they better not all have things inside! I can’t accept so many..

He reads the labels

Thank you to Desaix and.. Dumas!? He’s here too now?? Oh well thank you and salut, my friend :)

[simple-giant-ed]

nibbles

Ouch! That’s not very nice *frowns*

[simple-giant-ed]

Dear Duke of Treviso.

I wish you a very happy birthday. I hope you are doing well and I wish you a pleasant day.

Have this plant - I have no idea what it is, as I just made it up. I heard you enjoyed gardening, so you might find it pleasant.

Ney.

@le-brave-des-braves

*the flowers are strange, almost golden. It feels like they are emitting some golden light. Ney indeed used a drop of his very own blood to create this. Was that an attempt to cover the marshal for the upcoming war? Maybe*

Ah Ney! My god you can create life now too?? I should ask you for plants more often hehe !

The color looks.. a little off but maybe it'll make a pretty lamp! And if it grows fruit, we now have more gifts to give. I'll have lots of fun caring for this one :)

Thank you, mon ami!

[le-brave-des-braves]

Ney read the answer multiple times, something felt off. Something in those words. You can create life too. TOO

Wait. There is something you said. “Create life too.” Who else has been given this gift or curse?

[simple-giant-ed]

Huh? Ahh, nono, you must be mistaken. I simply meant surprise that creating life is now a new addition to your mystic powers… I’m sorry, Ney, you are still very unique here, it seems..

Unless you count these dragées that seem to birth out from each other and bounce around. But that’s bizarre!

[le-brave-des-braves]

Ah, please, accept my apologies. One can never know.

Ney sighed, why does he always feel so on edge? He is supposed to be a deity. He can literally shape the reality, yet he seems to be that tense man with so many insecurities that turned the last year of his life into hell. Meanwhile Mortier is... Having so much fun with his garden, with his little farm. Once, Mortier was supposed to condemn him in the court martial that never was, and Ney wondered how grateful the man must have been when he decided it should be the Chamber of Peers condemning him instead. Damn, he once even feared what Mortier would say, but now, all he wishes for his colleague is happiness. He smiled.

So these... dragés just. Proliferate. Now, that is interesting. One man I hosted, Prussian scientist, was discussing that proliferation is one of the most prominent signs of life. Mortier, are your dragés alive?

Am I eating living things?

[simple-giant-ed]

Alive? Hmmm…… *he took one in his hand and inspected it* I hope not. I’ve fed these to how many people and animals here already.. not to mention throwing them around in that one marriage party for Lannes and Bessieres..

I do sometimes feel like I’m being.. watched..? Only when around these dragées, but it’s probably nothing. Maybe the spirit of afterlife or something haha!

And if Ney paid attention… very very close attention… he could feel the same settle sense that he was being watched. But that was only if he chose to notice such things. If not, the conversation would go as usual…

I think there are more prominent things to worry about besides candy anyways, like how you look so tired compared to the last time I saw you! You really should get more rest in the afterlife, you think? Maybe that’ll do you good with your mystic powers. We can always hang out here and ride some horses around the farm!

[simple-giant-ed]

WHAT’S THIS! AMAZING! CERES! Come here! Look! Look, it’s you and me eating the dragées together!

Ceres sniffs at the painting and bestows her approval by sideeyeing it, sitting down, and waiting for her treat

Thank you, @headlessgenius , this is a very thoughtful gift. I’m sure Ceres agrees with me. I’ll have it hanged up in one of my houses here, maybe next to Ceres’s bed? Yah, girl?

Snort

[simple-giant-ed]

Dear Duke of Treviso.

I wish you a very happy birthday. I hope you are doing well and I wish you a pleasant day.

Have this plant - I have no idea what it is, as I just made it up. I heard you enjoyed gardening, so you might find it pleasant.

Ney.

@le-brave-des-braves

*the flowers are strange, almost golden. It feels like they are emitting some golden light. Ney indeed used a drop of his very own blood to create this. Was that an attempt to cover the marshal for the upcoming war? Maybe*

Ah Ney! My god you can create life now too?? I should ask you for plants more often hehe !

The color looks.. a little off but maybe it'll make a pretty lamp! And if it grows fruit, we now have more gifts to give. I'll have lots of fun caring for this one :)

Thank you, mon ami!

[le-brave-des-braves]

Ney read the answer multiple times, something felt off. Something in those words. You can create life too. TOO

Wait. There is something you said. “Create life too.” Who else has been given this gift or curse?

[simple-giant-ed]

Huh? Ahh, nono, you must be mistaken. I simply meant surprise that creating life is now a new addition to your mystic powers… I’m sorry, Ney, you are still very unique here, it seems..

Unless you count these dragées that seem to birth out from each other and bounce around. But that’s bizarre!

[simple-giant-ed]

Happy birthday the only man taller than me, enjoy this nice hogshead of fine Alsatian beer!!

@le-dieu-mars and his staff...and fiancee, Madame DuQuay..

Ohhhahaha, I have not yet tried getting drunk in the afterlife, so this is perfect. Many thanks, my friends!

*he reads it again* “finacee”??? Fiancee now?? Well congratulations to you as well then!

[simple-giant-ed]

Dear Duke of Treviso.

I wish you a very happy birthday. I hope you are doing well and I wish you a pleasant day.

Have this plant - I have no idea what it is, as I just made it up. I heard you enjoyed gardening, so you might find it pleasant.

Ney.

@le-brave-des-braves

*the flowers are strange, almost golden. It feels like they are emitting some golden light. Ney indeed used a drop of his very own blood to create this. Was that an attempt to cover the marshal for the upcoming war? Maybe*

Ah Ney! My god you can create life now too?? I should ask you for plants more often hehe !

The color looks.. a little off but maybe it'll make a pretty lamp! And if it grows fruit, we now have more gifts to give. I'll have lots of fun caring for this one :)

Thank you, mon ami!

[simple-giant-ed]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU🥳🥳

What? Oh! It’s my birthday! Why thank you gray jelly cat *gives you 4 headpats*

[simple-giant-ed]

At last I've found you!

Now, my heart is soon to be whole and my beer stock soon to be empty.

-@tonnerre-d-alsace

Lefebvre??? Is that you?? MON DIEU LEFEBVRE!!! COME HERE SO I MAY EMBRACE YOU!!!!

[simple-giant-ed]

You look so huggable. Can I get a hug? 👉👈🥺

-🍯🐝

*holds out his arms*

Get over here!! Free hugs back in session!!

[simple-giant-ed]

Have you ever considered picking Lannes up and literally launching him at the enemy? I have a mental image of him almost flying directly toward some poor bastard who wasn’t expecting Air-to-Ground Gascon Assault.

Bhahaa! I can’t say I have but perhaps one day it will be needed. Only with Lannes’s approval of course !!!

[simple-giant-ed]

*a bunch of nixas suddenly boop you*

Oh goodness! What-! What are these… little fairies-?!

Hahahaha! You’re all booping too?! Aww how cute~ come back here, little ones!

He will try to boop the nixas too as they boop him but he’s laughing too much to have any precision

[simple-giant-ed]

Ahahaha!

[bal-masque-des-grands-chapeaux]

Diversions and Tomfoolery

On this table, there is a very eclectic collection of items. Papers of multiple colours, fabrics, scissors, knives, pens, pencils, quills and... pumpkins?

"It is a most modern trend, as inspired by the Irish and the Scottish, we are told! Carving pumpkins into terrifying shapes!" says a dark haired man in a scarlet red panda mask - though it seems that behind his mask's ears are... black cat ears. Real ones. Huh. He wears a dark green suit with yellow fringes.

The other man, clad in yellow and blue, in a mask of a wasp with antennae and little fangs, clears his throat. "Welcome to the diversions table," he says. "You can use the papers to cut out silhouettes, make collages, draw on them, paint on them, show them off here. Or if you want some inspiration and ideas, you can reach into this top hat and get something kinda weird."

Masquerade Creative Prompts for the Napoleonic RP Scene ― Perchance Generator

You are encouraged to reply to this thread with your character's valiant arts and crafts attempts as they attempt to do something creative, talk about the very strange prompts inside the hat or to chat to the two masked attendants of this diversion station.

You're also welcome, if you don't RP, to use this generator and respond to this thread with your results or your responses to the results, and if you don't mind roleplay characters interacting with your post, feel free to state that in your post.

Or, you can go back to the entrance, go mingle with people, check out the table groaning under the weight of a bunch of presents or attend to your thirst at the refreshments station.

[simple-giant-ed]

Mortier: Hold on…

Mortier: “Night Owl” isn’t even a scary name! …. Also bonsoir is spelled wrong!!!

[bal-masque-des-grands-chapeaux]

The Masquerade Lucky Draw

On this table, there should have been a lovely tablecloth, but it cannot be seen from all the wrapped presents that absolutely cover the entire thing. Knickknacks of all shapes and sizes, wrapped in various ways in seasonal wrapping papers, have been carelessly piled up, with some even having tumbled to the floor.

Supervising the table is a man in a yellow suit with a mask of patterned seahorses, their faces and tails curling around the mask's eyes. He enthusiastically welcomes you and begins explaining what this is all about.

"Welcome, welcome, to the lucky raffle! This is a collection of treasures that @your-dandy-king has kindly donated from his vault, which accumulates that which has been lost and misplaced throughout history and time..! Come, take a present and unwrap it!"

The Masquerade Lucky Draw ― Perchance Generator

"And do show us what you get..!"

You are encouraged to reply to this post with what you find from the lucky draw, comment on other people's finds, talk to the seahorse-masked man or just generally interact with people in this thread.

Or, you can go back to the entrance of the ball, generally mingle with people, attend to your thirst at the refreshments or go to see the diversions table.

[simple-giant-ed]

Ooo! What’s this now? I just pick anything from the table? Let’s see….

Hm! These are like those weird anon “glasses” but in a different color. I suppose I’ll try them on-

He immediately collapses to the ground.

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK WOAHH!!!! ONE IS BLUE AND-.. AND THE OTHER IS RED???? AMAZING!!

Clutching the spectacles to his face as if to prevent them from falling off, he swerves his head around the area looking at everyone and everything in absolute child-like wonder, flabbergasted at the craziness of a red and blue world.