Keni
Claire Keane
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todays bird
macklin celebrini has autism
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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YOU ARE THE REASON
official daine visual archive
if i look back, i am lost
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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Interview Vampire Daily
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@simplyasexual
This piece is about prude-shaming and compulsory sexuality. It’s sort of a companion to this other piece, which is about slut-shaming and how wanting to have lots of casual, unconventional sex doesn’t make you a bad person. Follow SexEdPlus or check out SexEdPlus.Com for more stuff like this!
Love this!!! Everyone whose felt any of the above you are not alone
Like… asexuality isn’t some kind of “neutral” sexuality that magically becomes straight when you pair it with heteroromantic. Asexuality is a non-straight sexuality, and asexuals are non-straight people.
“Am I Asexual?” 10 Things You Should Know About Asexuality
No, it’s not unnatural. You do you.
Continue reading.
there are asexuals who are entirely disgusted by sex
there are asexuals who are fine talking about sex but aren’t willing to have it themselves
there are asexuals who like sex in theory but not in practice
there are asexuals who dont really care for it but are happy to do it for someone they love
there are asexuals who enjoy or even love the stimulation of sex but have no actual need or craving for it; its just like any other activity to do with someone and can easily be replaced with literally anything else
there are asexuals who do have a sexdrive but its only triggered by a strong emotional attachment rather than physical factors
there are a whole bunch of asexuals and if i hear “lol so ur like a plant” one more time i swear to fucking god
Actually Asexual In Fiction 2.0
Open a can of 100% ace. No guessing, no maybes, only confirmed aces.
Goodreads List + 3 Free Reads
Quicksilver
Guardian of the Dead
Days of Blood & Starlight
The Heart of Aces
The Oathbound
Clariel
The Bone People
Accepting Me
Banner of the Damned
Wings of Destruction
Flesh and Fire
Fireland
The Tropic of Serpents
The Clinic
The Northern Clemency
Tales from Outer Lands
Thief of Souls
The Deed of Paksenarrion
Carrie Pilby
Coffee Cake
To Be or Not To Be
Bone Diggers
Heart’s Scar
Read Vitality
Asappy helping me to celebrate Ace Day.
I am a grey heteromantic asexual.
No, it's not about self-reproduction.
Because many are simply unaware that it exists in a way distinct from their biology book’s definition of self-reproduction, many myths and misconceptions surrounding asexuality remain prevalent. Here’s what asexuality actually is:
Another Ace Day infographic. This actually shows the card suits and their definitions.
Fun game for Asexuals
Every song that was previously about sex is now about murder
I am honestly so supportive of young women and girls who don’t want to present themselves as sexual, whether they’re asexual, sex-repulsed, politically celibate, women who don’t want to feel or be sexy, or women who just don’t want to discuss it. I’m supportive whether this is something temporary or permanent, whatever the reason for it. If sex isn’t liberating for you, that’s great. There’s nothing wrong with that and I’m sorry you’re being sold the lie that you’re repressed and/or unfeminist.
asexuality: the world’s simplest concept that no one understands
sex-positive asexuals are people who are willing to have sex.
sex-repulsed asexuals are people who want nothing to do with sex.
sex-neutral asexuals are people who are indifferent about sex.
all types of asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, but that does not define their sex life, nor does it mean their sexuality is invalid.
important important important
attdoctor-prophet:
*raises hand* I have a question. How can an asexual person have sex with someone, if they’re not sexually attracted to them?
An asexual’s body is perfectly functional. It reacts to touch just like anyone else’s, meaning, an asexual will experience physical arousal and likely feel appropriate pleasure from sex when touched in a way that feels good to them personally. Asexuality isn’t the lack of sexual functions, it’s the lack of sexual attraction only, and sex can be present without specific attraction. For example, a sex positive asexual might have a what appears to be a quite active sex life for other reasons than attraction solely; emotional bonding, physical pleasure, relaxation and fun are just some reasons to like sex, even with the “kicker” being gone from the act.
The lack of sexual attraction doesn’t automatically mean a partner is undesirable to an ace - it just means they aren’t specifically attractive in that certain way. Other motivations may take over, or they may not.
Wow, thank you for this! Posts like these are really helping me to understand asexuality a lot more, and I am super appreciative of that.
A FUCKING MEN
I’ve heard a good analogy about this: Being an asexual and having sex is like not being hungry but eating anyway. You don’t feel the physical desire to eat, but that doesn’t mean your body is incapable of chewing, swallowing, and digesting food. Asexuality is a lack of sexual desire, not a lack of ability to engage in sex.
For the record, I am ace and have a decent sex life with my husband. Like it says above, I can pretty much go without it, but I enjoy it when it happens. The actual sex is more for him and the intimacy part of it is what I need so we both get something out of it.
I'm curious about something
If you’re asexual (or a variant thereof, like demisexual, greysexual, etc.), could you reblog this with your zodiac?
Scorpio, for sures.
virgo
aries
Virgo
Also Virgo
Thanks so much to Molly for a last educational powerpoint, and thanks so much to Rosemary, my fantastic new intern (expect a bio and pic soon!), for editing and compiling!
This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to learning about asexuality and the many nuances of sexuality, romantic attraction, and all types of orientations. It’s best to learn directly from the mouths of the people themselves, though, so here are the above mentioned resources as click-able links:
The Asexuality Visibility & Education Network
The Asexuality Archive
New England Asexuals
The Asexuality Story Project
Demisexuallity.org
The Asexual Agenda
My Asexy Story
I came out as an asexual eight years into my marriage at age 30.
When I met my husband, we’d been emailing for a couple of years. I had very little idea of what he looked like, just a bad picture of him in a canoe on a lake wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap. Three weeks before 9/11, he stepped off that plane in Atlanta, and I was in love. I tell this story often. It was love at first sight.
Before I met J, I’d been in relationships, though they were all very innocent. I never slept with any of my boyfriends, mainly because I never viewed them sexually. They’d all been friends I’d had no attraction to. When I was about 15, I discovered Harrison Ford in Working Girl and he became my main crush. I loved his physique. I loved how he looked.
My crushes were all like that. I never thought of them sexually. I liked how they looked. I liked chests, arms, hair, never anything below the waist. I wanted to be loved unconditionally. (Being bullied had created a fantasy of simple acceptance, and my daydreams always ended as soon as the I love you’s were said, after the great declaration had been made that I was, in fact, perfect.) I was innocent, virginal, with no sexual desire whatsoever.
But when J came around, there was… everything. Until we slept together during our first christmas, I hadn’t imagined what happened after I love you. He was and still is my first and only sexual partner. Until J, I hadn’t wanted sex. Our relationship was long distance, with me travelling from Atlanta to Ottawa once, then twice a year. We once went 8 months without being together. Everything had a need, an urgency. We never knew when the last time would be.
So it was great. We were dating and we were in love and soon enough we were engaged and we both made the move to Vancouver. He came first and I followed a few months later. Our sex life was, up to that point, pretty awesome.
That’s when the trouble began.
Until sex became an every day thing, I’d enjoyed it. I liked what it brought us, intimacy and pleasure. It made him happy. But I struggled with initiating sex. That’s when we started arguing. He would get frustrated, and I would, too, and I would promise to be less selfish, that I would try harder. Because that’s what it looked like to J, me being selfish. To me, it felt like I was being attacked for something I didn’t even know I wasn’t doing.
I cried a lot during those conversations, and I wondered what was wrong with me. How had it been that during our time apart, sex was vital and engaging? And now that we were married, now that we were able to have all the sex we wanted, I wouldn’t, couldn’t initiate. Why? It was always on my shoulders, this burden.
We were married about eight years and fighting about my lack of initiation and sex drive fairly regularly. I wondered when he would leave, if I’d had to go back to Georgia when we separated. I thought about keeping a bag packed. I was always the one in the wrong, and I was tiring of feeling like the villain all the time.
I kept trying to explain to him whatever it was going on inside my head; it was like trying to explain to an NFL player why some people don’t like sports. I could never get the words right and he never seemed to understand.
I don’t know what the first pro-asexuality blog is that I discovered. I saw the word, I saw the discussions. At first I didn’t think anything of it. Someone talked about AVEN, about this safe place for people who don’t experience sexual attraction. I had, ONCE, but J was always the exception to the rule. I also had only ever fallen in love once, too, and I was lucky enough that the experience changed my life in a myriad of positive ways.
I ignored it for a while. Until the next fight.
Everything in my life had lead up to this point. Asexuality. Not broken. I was 30, and felt like I was on the verge of divorce.
One day, I said it out loud. I’m asexual. It explained so much. I told J, I think… I’m asexual. Saying it aloud helped. Telling him helped. I was no longer accused of being selfish. He was a little more forgiving.
I said nothing more. I blogged about it, came out here on Tumblr. But I hid it, minimized my browser when he came to look over my shoulder. I was ashamed of it, in a way, because I was worried that J didn’t quite understand it, or me.
Then one night, about a year ago, we were intimate. And standing naked in front of him later, I said it all in a rush. I explained what I felt as an ace, what the sex part of our relationship means to me. I was, literally, standing in front of him, vulnerable and exposed and saying things I’d hidden inside my heart for more than a year.
When I say that my asexuality saved my marriage, I’m not exaggerating. Yes, there are still things I need to work on. And I do try. And I’m sure it’s not easy for HIM to be married to me. He’s got a libido that I don’t have and because of that, his needs are vastly different. But he’s patient, and I’m no longer the villain in our relationship. I wouldn’t trade this wonderful man for anyone else in the world because of it.
I see so many young adults on Tumblr questioning their sexuality, wondering if they are ace or demi. I wonder myself if I’d had tumblr at their age, would I have done things any differently. I don’t know. But looking back at my life, I was always ace and just never knew.
What courage and self awareness it takes to ask those things of yourself! Until I was married, I didn’t know I HAD to ask those questions.
I’m one of those older Tumblr users, way out of the typical demographic, yet without Tumblr I would never have seen that fateful post that changed my life. I wrote this originally wanting to say something about discovering sexuality at an older age. It’s harder, I think, as an older person. I think you deny a lot of yourself and you ignore a lot of signs and you get comfortable in your routine, however uncomfortable it may be at times.
In my case, I just honestly didn’t know. I didn’t know there was a word to describe myself in that way, that there were other people who felt the same way I did.
I’ve been very lucky, however, for the last 3 years.
