Being unmotivated is not an excuse.
During these past couple of months, I had this urge of working extremely hard to actually get better at school–my academics. I studied everyday and I worked hard and put every ounce of effort into all of my work. I never let anything slide. When exams came around, I got nervous, I was unmotivated, I was not ready to acknowledge the fact that I was about to sit these exams.
When I did, every word I wrote on those pages were not good enough, slowly I felt like everything I worked for in the past couple of month were slipping through my fingertips. I was saddened. Exam after exam I felt myself slowly drifting away, loosing myself to pieces of paper I prepared my self so hard for. I had nights were I was so sad, and just slept unsoundly. I was sad. Extremely sad. And I knew that when I got my grades back, I wasn’t going to get the grades I wanted–and I didn’t. I got average grades and there I felt myself feel extremely angry and just unmotivated to do anything after pursuing these exams.
My teachers have hope that I will get better grades and that I could easily bump myself up to higher points. They had faith in me, when I didn’t. How was I supposed to continue studying if I was feeling unmotivated? If I didn’t believe in myself completely?
These past couple of months hit me like a ton of bricks. People were getting better grades than me, and to be honest it did bother me. Why? Because I want to feel that satisfaction, that relief to receiving those amazing grades. I want to feel acknowledged, I want to feel like I accomplished something. I want to feel like I am ready to take on the world and its challenges without the feeling that I was not able to accomplish any of the challenges.
I pitied myself. I felt sorry for myself.
Then came a day, were I woke up and finally realized that feeling sorry for myself, feeling pity for myself, feeling unmotivated, feeling like I am not smart enough, feeling like I am not worth it is not an excuse for me anymore. Those feelings are never going to get me to that top university. The universities are looking for people who can take initiatives, people who are capable of taking control of their own life, people who don’t give up that easily, and finally people who don’t get unmotivated so easily and keep trying their best even when they are at their worst.
That is the kind of personality I need, that is the kind of personality which I will have. I will not stop till I get the grades that I want, I will work my hardest and smartest from now on, I will learn how to prioritize my social life from my school life. I need to learn how to balance. And most importantly I need to learn how to not give up so easily and feel unmotivated so easily. Being unmotivated is not an excuse for me anymore, and nor should it be for you. Being unmotivated wont allow you to get those grades, those accomplishments.
kianamaiart
theartofmadeline
kaledo-art
prguitarman
tangentwithtanner
jbbartram-illu
