Life of Me

hi i'm sarah and sleeping is my passion

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I adore this

[pokemon-memes]

[toastbutteregg]

gas alone costs a ton. might as well just eat grass from my neighbor’s yard

[ashstfu]

starting fights with everyone i meet in an attempt to squeeze in an enemies to lovers arc before valentine’s day

[stormesandshowers]

[hungwy]

tumblr posts in mla format

[hungwy]

Orcpussy. “Americans be eating cheesed burger.” Tumblr, 2017.

[sentada]

[toastbutteregg]

[pistil-whipped]

[simonandgarfunkelcomments]

[5weekdays]

"hey, bobby, ginger's kid came out to her as non-binerary! can you believe it?"

"non-binary."

"huh? wha? what'd i say?"

"you said 'non-binerary.' the word is non-binary."

"right. non-byrony."

"oh my god"

[5weekdays]

"ginger's gonna march with her kid in the parade next year! she's so excited!"

"she'll get to make signs... chant slogans..."

"you sound kind of jealous, lin."

"well, maybe i *am* jealous. maybe *i* wanna be a PFLAG mom."

"pee flag!!"

"gene."

[5weekdays]

"...kids, are any of you non-binary?"

"i respond to both 'attaboy' and 'you go, girl!'"

"i'm whatever gender gets the coolest happy meal toys."

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

on my way home last night I stopped to buy gas and realized that my fuel door was almost completely covered in ice and frozen shut so I did the logical thing and crouched down and lifted my shirt and pressed my naked belly against it until it melted

[behold-my-squees]

Naked belly is most logical! Your body will always divert heat to keep it warm, whereas hands are an extremity that may be neglected. And your ass has way more fat and way less circulation and it will just get. SO COLD. and take forever to get warm even when you’re back in your toasty car. So you can take pride in using your brood patch!

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

yeah but given my height and the position required it did sort of look like I was fucking my car, is the thing

[rimonoroni]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

What’s not to get? You never seen a guy with a brood patch before?

[rimonoroni]

y. you’re deactivated. how are you posting from the grave

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I have unfinished business here

[opendirectories]

[iloveyoumyvalentine]

[psychedelicflyingshark]

We need like a month where nothing happens and there's no repercussions we all just stay in bed and hibernate and nothing goes wrong

[kasphyxia-deactivated20210107]

need a girlfriend so i can deactivate for good

[rottingfacade]

[kasphyxia-deactivated20220529]

Bad news everyone

[transgendercyborg-deactivated20]

[precambrianhottopic]

[aventios-deactivated20240306]

[aqueousstar]

[gobstoppr]

Enough is enough. The violence has to stop.

In the past week alone, there have been 106 incidents of cartoon shenanigans that have left people with severe injuries.

18 cases of anvils dropped on peoples' heads.

5 cases of pianos crashing down onto people.

23 cases of people lighting cigars to then realize they're holding a stick of dynamite.

41 people have gotten trapped under boxes after being lured by a tasty treat.

19 cases of people running into brick walls that were painted to look like the road continuing and then become as flat as a pancake.

I'm begging my followers to PLEASE be careful. It's an incredibly dangerous time for silly little guys to be out and about. Remember to keep your hammer space packed full of everything you might need in a situation-- do NOT forget your comically large weapon, you need to protect yourself out there.

Stay safe <3

**Bugs B*nny Apologists DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT**

[maybeher0]

@aikaikaik

[iwasalwayscobrakai-deactivated2]

phineas and ferb au where they can't build anything and everything looks like this

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]