Sine Qua Non Lioness

[sinequanonlioness]

Rough work week, rough few whole life weeks truth be told, lol. Y’all know I hate to ever admit it, but I’m exhausted. If all this period required was work ethic or willingness to push myself physically...I can do much more. But these current challenges also require emotional intelligence/engagement and while I eventually became adept at dealing with crises professionally by disengaging emotionally—I’m stellar at creating an emotional distance from things(clinical detachment, if you will)—what happens when you can’t disengage? What happens when you can’t lead solely with your head and you can’t fade into the bush like Homer? I do not have the answers and I am out of my depth, yet I have to stand and deliver insofar as I have anything to offer. Feeling as if I have this diminished ability to protect myself or erect walls emotionally is my f#cking kryptonite and you can see it in my face/body. I have watched my vitiligo go absolutely nuts in only a few months, with patches of melanin disappearing so quickly that I am stunned…and I’ve been living this process for 30 years. It isn’t the point, just a sign of the stress. Regardless, I know that these things keep coming back around in my life via different challenges because I’ve yet to grab hold to what it can teach me (i.e., GROW) and I know enough to remain grateful that I still have the opportunity. #hopethismakessense #transparency #nocomplaintsthough (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChvjTu0uafR/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sinequanonlioness]

Here’s my solution to failing to read in quickly ordering my groceries and ending up with several several several pounds of oranges on my doorstep that I couldn’t give away (peeps seemed suspicious LOL). Squeezed 4 bags of oranges just now and made the drink I remembered from a cleanse a while back with a number of citrus juices. The OJ is super sweet, but thankfully I didn’t waste money and the lesson is…don’t be a Sembene. Slow down and READ. 😭😂 (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CeZrunPuFZ3/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sinequanonlioness]

Another little project I’m putting to bed this weekend. The desk riser I bought actually fits the prior desk perfectly. It’s on wheels so I can move it out of the main living space my studio when I’m not working…which is rare lol. #homeoffice #standupdesk #remotenurse (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbDqsfRO91g/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

Fitting as much into this weekend off as I possibly can. Had to get the kids together. One of them legit rooted in the adjacent planter. I had to track each branch to figure out where to take cuttings. The middle beast is seriously reaching from one end of the window to the other, no lie. So is the philodendron, “She who shall not be named”. I don’t think I need to buy another plant the way these beasts are growing…but I just want one Sansevieria 😁. #plantlover #greenthumbintraining #livingdecor #SeymourahAKAAloeysius #Shewhoshallnotbenamedthephilodendron #QueenNigel #plantbabies (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbDo8WwOwr9/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

[sinequanonlioness]

My green babies are thriving despite me being MIA at times. 😍🥰😘#greenthumbintraining #livingdecor #SeymourahAloeQueen #howcountrygirlsgetdown #HER #SheWhoShallNotBeNamed #QueenNigelofNewark #plantnames #plantbabies #smallspacegardening #urbangardening (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CV_l73VFZYB/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

Posting this from a nursing forum I frequent on FB as encouragement for anyone pursuing nursing or anything for that matter. As cliche as it may sound, I mean this, y’all. It doesn’t mean to ignore how you’re feeling with each step; you’re not a robot. It means that has its place. Then you dust yourself off and make the top line of every thought that this is already done. Hear me? Blessings to everyone pursuing goals/dreams with intermediate steps that test the long term success you envision. #nursing #longtermgoals #staythecourse #itsalreadydone (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CV3Gl8yFBjF/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

#feedme #justreminiscing #gottagetback #butgrubbingisfun #fluffyAF #stillgrateful https://www.instagram.com/p/CU3J8nPlaKs/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

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Why was I doing this? Looking back and wondering where my safety net of friends and fam are on this app to help curb my enthusiasm for all manner of foolishment. 😒😂. #whydoidothesethings #wonderifIstillcan #justkidding https://www.instagram.com/p/CU2_nlflC0a/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

So this is my inaugural effort at realizing a dream to have the type of work that allows me to travel. I’ve been working towards this for several years. I have three organizing principles for my travel, which are food, fitness, and historical sites (I’ll explain more later). This time I’m trying to get my routine down as well as how to handle potential setbacks; I’ve already discovered a few things I need on the road in the few hours I was driving today. I’m incredibly grateful despite a few setbacks I’ve already experienced. Washington state is absolutely gorgeous and worth a return trip to spend more time when I get this down. #solotravel #blackgirltravel #workandplay #seesomething #journeyofaGemini #dreamrealized #gratitude https://www.instagram.com/p/CUUEfBTr4sN/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

[sinequanonlioness]

Thanks to my girl Vanessa for this throwback to undergrad. ❤️💯. #Tougaloo #HBCU #timeflies https://www.instagram.com/p/CS4ZQiyrchy/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

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My coworker asked me how I respond on my current night job when providers choose to be rude/condescending/nasty because they don’t like a recommendation we’re giving over the phone. She was upset because the provider had just essentially told her she was stupid. Back in the day, I worked onsite so my first inclination was to ask where they were located so we could talk face-to-face. I found that it was very difficult for the phone gangsters to maintain in person; in fact, they were sweet as pie to my face. I went and located quite a few docs and said “hi, let’s continue that convo we were having before you hung up the phone.” I also ended up in a few administrators’ offices (one gent said I tried to intimidate him 😂), but the favorable outcome was that boundaries were clarified and if we had a problem, we never had a problem again. I realized I am kind of following my father’s trajectory of responses to fuckery. When he was the chief resident, another doctor addressed him as “ boy”. This was in the late 70s. My father...err..lifted the gent ever so gently off the floor into a comfortable wall and set appropriate boundaries that he was happy to report were never crossed again. Then of course he grew and progressed and did his level best to teach me that every war wasn’t mine to fight (“pick your battles” and “never let them see you sweat” and “sometimes the best response is no response”). When providers have tried me over the phone in these 40s I’m living, my response is cute, even syrupy sweet when I’m amused, but concise. The bottom line is I’m sitting at home in my draws doing work I like 90% of the time. I’m grateful and I’m going to squeeze every bit of happiness from this while I have the opportunity. You can’t worry me, fam. Now do have a good night. Also, kick rocks. (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQWUwXRlb2M/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

#yesterday #today #nextiteration #gratefulallthesame #salud #howdoesitfeelthough (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQWSaEiltft/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

This is another page I check frequently. She inspires, she’ll make you laugh and it looks like you couldn’t help but have fun in her yoga classes. This message is about boundaries and it’s a much needed reminder for me. #goodmorning https://www.instagram.com/p/CP5a9jcFT8r/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

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This day has been a microcosm or fractal of the many possibilities of this life. I woke up on vacation and grateful to see 44, then ran into...well, a bit of rain is falling in my life, too. The response I choose to it all is gratitude. I’m grateful. I I arrived to the LOOK of it a bit late, then got over that rather quickly to settle my focus on how this life I’m leading FEELS. How do I feel? How do I affect you? Ever in progress, I can only say that in any of my “foolishment” 😉 I hope to have the opportunity to see it, correct and move differently, to grow past my fears to be less closed and more generous with anything I can offer worth another soul’s finite time here. I’ve been many things not worth mentioning, yet full of lessons. I hope to be much more that benefits someone beyond myself. Someone loved me before I became, y’all. When you grab hold to that...the loving grasp of your parents, friends, family, ancestors and beyond...there’s no way you can fail to feel that, no way your eyes don’t sweat just a little 😉. I’ve been here long enough to witness those who love me warn me to guard my heart and be wary, then transition to see the growth of the same beloved guideposts apologize to me for that and gently push me towards being less fearful of any vulnerability and cognizant that my fully realized strength lies in being more open and of the energy that created me. It’s daily work. I love you known or yet to know and family...I’m so damn grateful to be here. Let it rain. #thisis44 #theynamedmeLioness #bestrong #bevulnerable #behonest #gratitude #thisenergy #thankyou (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CP3x_7Al0xl/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinequanonlioness]

#thesekids #mademelaughthough #sotickled #hopehefindsagoodgirl #itsthesinglelifeforme #thisfreelifeismyjam #Imgonnakeeprunning #itswinteroverhere (at Newark, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPysIpIFoo0/?utm_medium=tumblr