Sirena

no follow back – just a side blog | DID system alter

[stellanslashgeode]

What’s funny to me isn’t that he’s a crow boy, or that he’s dangerous, or that he destroys plastic. It’s that it’s his job. Like, time to make the fucking donuts let’s go.

[sinfully-angelic]

Everyone needs to stop lying and saying they love me. I know it's not true. You all see me as a pathetic little thing that you strive to never be like. I am unlovable

[sinfully-angelic]

You don't understand just how unlovable I am. You do not understand the depths my selfishness reach. You should hate me. Everyone should hate me.

[sinfully-angelic]

I feel robotic without him around

[sinfully-angelic]

And suddenly that safe space is no longer safe and none of your words mean anything, because I saw under them and I know that you will never genuinely understand me.

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[sinfully-angelic]

I'm the worst. I'm a terrible girlfriend. I'm a terrible friend. I'm in love with someone who will never be in love with me. I'm nothing good.

They're gone aren't they. They left didn't they. Why.

[sinfully-angelic]

If they're gone I know it's my fault somehow. I did something. It's my fault. It always is.

[sinfully-angelic]

I am completely unlovable. Sometimes I wonder if my boyfriend genuinely loves me, or he just wants to fix me. Am I just a broken toy to him.

[intersemiotic]

you ask a student in april how they're doing and they'll say "oh i'm fine" but in reality they are treating themselves in such a way that violates the geneva convention on treatment of prisoners

[thememedaddy]

[sinfully-angelic]

I'm tired of being the problem. I'm tired of people mistaking my words for malice. I'm aware the way I structure my sentences is odd. I'm aware that I'm hard to read. So just ask.

I'm not mean. I'm not argumentative. Why do you assume I am.

[sinfully-angelic]

Sometimes I think about the fact that I could end it all tonight and nobody would know.

Tonight is one of those nights.

[sinfully-angelic]

I feel inhuman, and I always have. This isn't a fact I hide, I make my internal beliefs about being an angel fairly clear. But I'm beginning to wonder if it's that inhumanity, the fact that no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to reach a point where I truly feel human, like I belong here, that keeps me from being lovable. People can sense my lack of personhood, they can sense that there's something wrong with me. They can't get close to something so close to them yet so far. They can sense it. And I'm unloved and uncared for because of it. I will never be important to anyone. If I am, really, not an angel, and instead a fragmented part of a child, that inherent brokenness of my identity, of me, is clear to others.

They can sense something is wrong with me. And because of that, I will never have the life I want.

[sinfully-angelic]

Everyone who speaks to me is mocking me. I can feel it.

[mikkaeus]