Land of Pencils and Lamentations

A realm of fandoms, art, feels, and other junk. Hi, I'm Laur. She/he/they (never "it") - genderfluid - age 20 - singer - fangirl - nerd supreme // My current obsession: Magic: the Gathering

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

I REALLY want to film a Star Trek parody where the caption is yelling really tropey star trekkie things at the engineer who in turn just answers with real and truthful responses about mechanics. Like

Captain: how long will it take to get the warp engines back online??

Engineer: at least 2 hours

Captain: *dramatically* you've got 45 minutes

Engineer: well, okay, so it's not going to happen then, because it takes at least 2 hours

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Engineer: the shield generator is offline!

Captain: Divert power from life support!

Engineer: .... why? It's broken. Putting more power in it isn't going to make it less broken. And why life support? You want us to die faster or something?

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Engineer: the warp engines are offline and it is beyond our ability to repair. All we have are impulse engines now.

Captain: how long will it take to get to the nearest federation star base on impulse alone?

Engineer: 73 years.

Captain: what the fu

Engineer: Space is BIG captain! Why do I need to tell you that??

[kumabearsweetheart-deactivated2]

Engineer: We can’t do it, Captain! We do not have the power! Captain: We’ll harness the power of the local sun and divert it into the engine! Engineer:... Captain:...

Engineer:... Captain:... Engineer: That’s... Captain: Look, can you figure something out and just tell me that’s what you did? I just really need a win right now. Please? Engineer: I’ll try, Captain.

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Doctor: the captain was seriously injured... I don't know if he will make it...

Engineer: *mockingly* hAvE yOu tRiEd DiVeRtiNg pOwEr fRoM LifE SuPpOrT???

[insinirate]

Can I just say that the way you give all characters a little bit of chub is cute af. Like its not rippling abs but just a little bit of chub to let people know they ate enough is just adorable.

thats just the normal human body baybee

[singingaardvark]

Magic: the Gathering joke

(is very good)

[singingaardvark]

Has anyone else realized that Yawgmoth is just a grown-up version of Sid from Toy Story?

[singingaardvark]

Reflection

Pt. 1: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi

Pt. 2: De ifsi tassieris edst rae hym

Challenge: Draw, write, or show your part 2 that's true for you right now. (I'm drawing mine.)

[awed-frog]

Heroes of our times: this woman who stopped shaving, plucking, moisturizing, fixing her hair and applying make-up because her douche boyfriend kept complaining she spent too much time in the bathroom and YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

[Spoiler: he learned women don’t actually ‘look like that’ and tried to force her to ‘take care of herself’ again, while she realized she was wasting so. much. time. and is now living her best hairy, unplucked, unmoisturized, unblow-dried and unlipsticked life. Truly a blessèd day.]

[desolate-avocado]

[atypicaltyper]

For once the you won’t believe what happened next line was actually correct. Kinda nice to see people willing to learn and grow.

[61below]

Reblog if your only reason to shave is to also feel like a dolphin

[singingaardvark]

I urge you to read the original Reddit post. I think it comes off as somewhat more reasoned and moderate than you might expect from this Tumblr thread. The couple makes some Very Good Points.

[ancientson]

URGENT! If you're in Colorado, please, please be careful! If you know any trans men or transmasc people who might be in Colorado soon, please let them know about this. If you know any trans or LGBTQ+ groups, community centers, etc. in Colorado, make sure they're aware!

If you're cis, it's encouraged that you reblog this. Just spreading the word is a great opportunity to be an ally.

[lipglossdyke]

WTF

[needtobeasleep-yethereiam-deact]

NOT KIDDING GUYS BE VERY CAREFUL HERE ARE SOME SCREENSHOTS OF CONVERSATIONS THIS DICK HAD WITH AN LGBT ACCT ON IINSTAGRAM

Be very very very very very careful my dudes and please stay safe

[spooky-soup]

UPDATE:

This guy hellsing_ultimate700 deleted his account and started a new one under the name of axel_van_hellsing. Spread the word and stay safe!!!

[jefferoni-quotes]

[positivepatton]

I hate to reblog something like this onto a blog that’s supposed to be a safe space, but I want as many people to see it as possible

[theygender]

OP 9/26/19

[1nesky1nedestiny-deactivated202]

!!!UPDATE!!!!

Now going by four_string_dude

[singingaardvark]

I am shocked and appalled by this behavior. I am saddened by the culture that lets things like this slide.

MY CALL TO ACTION: Call your friends out on homophobia and transphobia. Always. Even if it makes you look like an asshole. Some quiet soul in the back is probably listening.

[badjokesbyjeff]

I went to the pet shop and the owner said he had a talking centipede for sale.

I said ‘no way, centipedes don’t talk.’ The owner promised me it was a talking centipede so I purchased it and took it home with me. A little later in that evening I went up to its tank and said ‘alright mate, I’m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?’ The centipede said nothing, I scoffed and went to the pub. The next evening I thought I’d give it another try so I went to its tank again and said ‘alright mate, I’m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?’ Still absolutely no response from the centipede, so I went on my way, cursing the pet shop owner. The following evening I thought I would give it one more try, so I went over to its tank and asked ‘alright mate, I’m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?’ The centipede replied ‘I heard you the first time I’m just putting my fucking shoes on’

[singingaardvark]

Regarding my new blog aesthetic: if you can't indulge in psychological horror during October, then when can you indulge in psychological horror?

[radiojamming]

Your sailor nickname is [what color your shirt is] [your first pet’s name]. You are [phone battery percentage] years old. Your ship is the HMS [last thing you ate].

[singingaardvark]

I am the infamous White Treasure... Hmm, that came out wrong.

[singingaardvark]

I've just realized that Avril Lavigne is a much more skilled singer than I gave her credit for. Her technique is actually quite finessed. I tried copying her -- it's hard!

[singingaardvark]

Talk to Transformer

Transformer (the AI text generator) knows what a 4chan greentext is... Sort of.

(You give it a prompt and it writes a bunch more text based on your sample and what it's "read" on the Internet. It's pretty hilarious.)

[donwestmoved-deactivated2020042]

one time my sister and i were talking to my uncle about the xmen and were calling them all by their first names and my uncle said “when i was your age we weren’t on first name basis with these heroes. if you wanted to address them, it was MISTER wolverine.” and i think about that a lot

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn't see their reflection

I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue

[cosmictuesdays]

#joyce has probably backed into spike like three times #maybe if he would stop CREEPING in the bushes [x]

[dario58030]

And this is why driving testers fail you if you don’t look out the back window when backing up

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

“The DMV is part of the vampire agenda” was not the hot take I was looking for today, but it oddly feels right.

[pachelbelsheadcanon]

department of motor vampires

[singingaardvark]

If I'm honest, Mysterio almost did a better job of being Captain America than Captain America did.

[singingaardvark]

There are two types of players...

[singingaardvark]

How do you pronounce Planeswalker names?