it actually hurts to win the "i love you more" argument because even when things get hard , and i get hurt and cheated on after we resolved things already - somehow i still love you because you could never make me hate you .
but i suppose the tragic thing about love is , the one who loves less always wins . it's easier to leave , move on , or just survive without constantly thinking back . . . but the one who dares love more , suffers for the rest of eternity .
i hate loving someone who isn't mine anymore, like yes babe i see you im hurting too it's gonna okay come back home i miss you . it's so painful to still read past messages, dance to love songs alone, and reminisce the past. because there's nothing more i wish to do than hold him again and love him right this time. no one to ask my baby if he's eaten, showered, played his game, slept well .
cw: reader is straight and has never dated a woman before vi , vi is her gay awakening , roommate au , sa rescue , sweet girlfriend!vi , gentle smut , fingering , kissing , vi is a loser with zero strap game so she fingers , vi is shy , praise kink ? , confessing feelings . 2.5k words
The house you and Vi shared together wasn’t anything big. It was cramped but it was cozy. You both drew strict boundaries usually. You knew from the moment you met her that she was gay, however… one thing that didn’t seem to rub Vi right was the fact, you were straight and you had guys over every other day.
It wasn’t even as if you had a committed relationship and you only slept with a singular guy. It was like every other night you got back home with another guy, and although Vi wanted to say something against it— she stopped herself remembering that you also did pay the bills besides her.
So the house was yours just as much as it was hers.
The problem wasn’t that you dated around a lot and all the men suspiciously smelled like they’d taken a shower— the problem was the sounds.
Headboard banging against the wall, and the muffled sounds of your moans that came through the thin walls Vi cursed at instead of you, her roommate who was making the sounds in the first place… because God did you sound so good when you moaned.
At first, the sound made her unintentionally rub herself through her clothes, other hand scrolling on her phone although she didn’t really care whatever she was scrolling by. The only thing she could focus on was the heavenly sounds you were making.
But that’s when her brain had to remind her, “she’s not yours, dude. It’s somebody else making her moan like that.”
And the thought alone made Vi want to slam her face into the wall.
She sighed deeply, turning her phone off and tossing it to the side.
For some reason, it really pissed her off knowing it wasn’t her treating you right, making sure you had whatever you needed and wanted. Making sure you came nicely on her fingers and strap that she kept tucked away in her drawer, not having used it once since she got it.
Well, let’s be honest.
Vi was pretty much a loser.
She didn’t have much game in getting women.
But that wasn’t because she wasn’t pretty or good looking.
It was because she just sucked at asking women out. How the hell was she supposed to do that without stammering and making a fool out of herself? She groaned and pulled the blanket over her head.
It didn’t help.
Your loud “oh fuck!” made her want to kick your door down and demand the man left without his clothes. But she wouldn’t, obviously.
She was a loser, but she wasn’t an asshole.
You were always exceptionally pretty in Vi’s eyes and she’d hoped you were into girls until she met your boyfriend at that time. After you both had broken up, Vi had very enthusiastically suggested that you try your hand at dating women, but you turned her down rather politely.
Somehow, that night you’d ended up falling asleep with your head on Vi’s lap, bingeing movies with her.
The memory of it made Vi blush the same color as her hair.
She hated how easy she was for you.
“Fuck, Tyler, oh! I’m close, I’m close—”
Vi grabbed her pillow and pressed it to both sides of her head, trying to drown out the sounds. The sound of creaking furniture intensified and then finally came to a halt.
Vi slowly lowered the pillow, jaw clenched so tight that her face hurt.
“Why am I so affected?” She thought. “I shouldn’t be… but she’s so… I need her to be mine in a way that it hurts seeing everyone else get to put a smile on her face when I’m just her… roommate.”
That night, Vi barely slept.
The next morning when she had walked out of the room she saw you leaning against the counter as you buttered a piece of toast carefully. You saw Vi by the corner of your eyes and offered a sweet smile.
Vi’s heart skipped a beat.
“Hey, I’m sorry if we kept you up yesterday, Tyler’s just so good.” You put the buttering knife down, “can you believe it? My dating life is finally getting back on its feet.”
Vi smiled dryly, trying to appear as supportive as she could, “yeah ’course. Happy for you.”
Your eye smile flickered a little. “Oh, I’m sorry, did we keep you up too late?”
“No, not at all,” Vi lied quickly, “m’just… a little stressed with college, that’s all.”
“Oh, alright. Let me know if I can help you in any way.”
Fuck, why the hell were you so sweet to her when all she did was lounge around as your roommate and occasionally become your tissue box when you cried on her shoulder and soaked her sweatshirts.
“Hey, Vi, can I ask you something?”
Vi nodded, getting herself a bottle of water.
“What’s up?”
“Uh, so Tyler is coming over this weekend and we decided that instead of eating out, I would cook and have a little date night at home…” you paused, then took a deep breath and asked, “is there any way you could— y’know— give us some privacy?”
Vi nodded again, “yeah, sure. Let me know the timing, and I’ll be outta your way.”
Considering how cool her voice was when she replied, her heart was beating so fast that she barely even breathed as she made herself some eggs. She couldn’t believe you’d planned a date night with some guy who looked like he had bargained his way into planet earth.
Either way, Vi told herself to be happy for you.
But it didn’t last.
Not when Vi finally got back home that night and she heard the sounds. Not pleasured moans. Muffled voices.
“Let go—”
“Hold still!”
The sound of clothes rustling. Then the sound of something falling and breaking— maybe a lamp, maybe your bedside table clock.
Vi’s brows furrowed and she closed the door behind herself silently, walking down the hall as quietly as possible. She inched closer to the door.
“I came all the way here, not to just have you fucking giggle around and cuddle—”
“Tyler— what’s gotten into you?! I told you, I don’t want to—”
SMACK!
The sound of hand against skin was so sharp it made Vi’s stomach twist uncomfortably. Before she could contemplate any further, she kicked the door open.
You were pinned to the bed, legs dangling off the edge of the bed with Tyler’s hands pinning them above your head. Your eyes widened at the sight of her standing at the door.
“Vi! Violet! Help— please!”
“Quiet!” Tyler yelled.
“Back the fuck off!” Vi yelled back, advancing towards him.
The sight of her bulging muscles was enough to scare Tyler’s boner back down. He glanced at you, then back at Vi and quickly grabbed his jacket off the back of your study desk chair.
“Get the fuck lost.” Vi called after him as he ran out the door like a scared little rat. She didn’t care to chase him, didn’t care to fight. She didn’t care about him actually, yeah every cell in her body itched for a fight but she knew that right now her first priority should be you.
“Oh fuck,” she knelt by your side, “are you okay? Hey, hey—”
You didn’t even know what to say, your eyes filled with tears and before you knew it you threw your arms around the other woman and sobbed against her shoulder.
“I got so scared, Vi… so fucking scared… I thought— I thought he was going to—” you couldn’t even bring yourself to say it aloud, you just cried harder.
“Hey, shhh…” Vi rubbed your back, trying to be as comforting and someone could be. “Let’s get you some water and dress you up first okay? It’s chilly.”
That night Vi didn’t leave your side. She stayed in your room because you asked her to and held you, mumbling to you about how everything was okay and Tyler was not coming back. Eventually, you finally let go of her shirt and let her get up for a minute.
“I’m gonna get myself some water, do you want anything?” She asked.
You looked up, eyes unsure, “I just wanna cuddle…”
Vi’s facial expression softened at that and she nodded, “yeah, of course, we can cuddle.”
Vi made you feel safe like no one else had before. You both spent the night talking endlessly about nothing specifically, and before you knew it you fell asleep with your head against Vi.
At first, Vi wrapped her arm around you naturally. Like she wasn’t side-hugging her crush. But then reality consumed her thoughts and she felt her face heat up.
“Shit, she’s really— fuuuuck. I can’t fuck this up. She needs a friend more than anything right now. Feelings can wait.” Vi thought, and she never pressurised you that night.
Instead, she simply held you.
Day by day, you and Vi got closer. You didn’t even realise when you’d been hanging out more with her than any guy. At first you told yourself that maybe that’s because of the way Tyler had treated you but slowly you realised you’d healed from that already. And the memory didn’t haunt you every night like it did initially.
The thought of Vi made you blush.
Your messy roommate who left a scent of cologne in your sheets whenever you both cuddled. Fuck, you were in love with her.
But would she ever see you as something more than a roommate? At best, you’d been friends but you knew that Vi was… shy. So she’d never come right out and say it if she did like you like that and if someone were to make that approach, it’d have to be you.
You didn’t mind.
On a random Saturday, you scooted closer to her. A movie played on the TV but even though Vi’s focus was there, yours was on her.
You looked over— she looked so hot, brows a little bit furrowed in concentration, maybe she was also biting the inside of her cheek, oh that perfect arc of her nose.
Vi was perfect. And you… suddenly, you felt self conscious. You were just her roommate dressed in galaxy printed pajamas and hair up in a messy bun… not exactly the kind of vibe you wanted when you were confessing your feelings to her.
“Violet,” you hated how hoarse your voice sounded.
“Mhm?” She looked at you.
“I have something to tell you.”
“Go ahead.”
“I like you.” You paused. Vi didn’t say anything. But you could see that she was blushing so you went on, “I have liked you for a while now and at first I thought that’s because you saved me that day when I almost got… touched.” You swallowed thickly, “but then I realised, I don’t like you for that, I have liked you for a while but… I guess I’ve never really wanted to admit it to myself.”
Vi’s lips parted, blue eyes twinkling with emotions, “o-oh.”
For a second, you thought she would reject you but she just smiled and leaned her back against the couch.
“Y’know, that’s a little funny, I’ve— I’ve always liked you too.”
“Wait, really?”
“Yeah, you’re, like, I’ve always found you super cute and I’ve hated the jerks you’ve been with.”
That made both of you laugh.
“So,” you nervously met her eyes again, “I guess we kiss now?”
Vi just smiled.
It was as if you were seeing her for the first time, suddenly all the scars on her face started becoming more and more prominent, but not in the way where you saw them and you thought they were ugly. You saw them and you realized there was just so much you didn’t know about her, and you wanted to spend the rest of your life knowing more about her.
She kissed you, she initiated it first. Her lips brushing against you, soft like cotton, months of longing crashing down all at once.
You moved. Your hand landed on her jaw, holding her there in place as you kissed her back. Vi climbed on top of you slightly, pinning you to the arm of the couch as she used her body weight as leverage to keep you in place.
But she wasn’t forcing you; you wanted this as well. Your arms wrapped around her, you brought her closer.
For a second, you both parted, breathing heavily, staring into each other’s eyes as if it was the first time you were seeing each other. Vi was the first one to break the silence. She said, “fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long.”
You smiled, breaking into a little giggle. “Yeah, I have too, and I hate that we’ve stayed together, under the same roof, resisting each other, when we could have been doing this all along.”
Vi leaned closer, her voice a whisper now. “I don’t care how long I’ve had to wait now that you’re mine.”
Your eyes fluttered shut, letting her kiss you again. She pushed your loose shorts and panties to the side so she could run her fingers against your damp folds. You were soaked. A wet mess, all for Vi.
It made her smile into the kiss, pads of her fingers teasing your entrance before she slowly pushed them.
You moaned into the kiss, already clenching around her fingers before she even fucked you properly. Vi pulled away, nose still close enough to brush yours.
“Oh, Vi…”
Your moans were adorable to her. Your eyes squeezed close as her fingers moved in your cunt, curling and twisting in all the ways she knew would have you cumming before you knew it.
“I fuck you better than them, don’t I?” she asked, a jealous undertone in her soft loving voice.
“You do, you’re always— you’re good, you’re the best!”
“That’s what I thought.”
Vi curled her fingers, searching for your textured sweet spot, letting her tongue in your mouth again. You let her kiss you, drool slipping down the side of your face as well as hers as you trembled and held onto her clothes.
Vi’s other hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer, feeling the way your smaller body tucked against hers, pleasured by her fingers.
“Come on, baby, show me how pretty you can look when cumming.”
“I— Vi, oh!”
“Yes, that’s it.”
She kissed you again, swallowing all those filthy moans. You came on her fingers soon after, walls spasming around her intruding digits as slick ran down her palm.
Your eyes rolled back, tired and worn already. That made Vi chuckle, “exhausted? Already?”
You playfully pushed at her chest, “I’m not used to… all this. I’m— men I’ve been with didn’t really care that—”
“Shh,” Vi pushed one of her soaked fingers against your lips, hushing you, “don’t speak a word, baby, I’ll take care of everything from now on. Okay?”
cw: begging , blindfold , ties , not too big m sorry , suggestive at best with a lot of teasing , power dynamics reversing , service top! ellie reduced to being a bottom .
There’s something fun about breaking a service top down into nothing but a naked, blindfolded little sex toy sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, hands tied back so she’s helpless.
Her breaths fall heavy, limbs trembling, as if the anticipation itself has her wet— it does. She hates how easily broken down all her dominance is, but she’s definitely not complaining because now that she can’t see you, or what you’re going to do— she has to fully rely on trust.
You walk around her, circling slowly like a predator analysing her prey. “You’re so cute like this, Els.” Ellie feels the nickname giving her the shivers, she can’t wait to be touched. You kneel on one knee and cup her breast.
The second you do so, Ellie shivers and leans closer, seeking the warmth of your hand.
Her body is cold, skin cool to the touch as her nipple perks upon contact like she’s been waiting for this her whole life. You smirk, you’re evil, and the idea of torturing her cute little boobs is too tempting, but you know she’ll like it.
So for now… you stick to teasing her.
Maybe, just maybe if you feel merciful, you’ll let her cum, you’ll let her hump your shoe like the desperate little thing she can be when she’s horny and unrelieved. Ellie’s breath hitches as she focuses on the way your thumb circles her nipple, her body buzzing with energy.
“Aren’t you the cutest, Ellie baby? You’re trembling, oh my gosh.”
Your words made her feel a sense of humiliation she hadn’t felt so far but something about that made her pussy feel more tingly.
“Touch me, please.” She begs, voice cracking, “I need you so bad, I can’t do this, please—” she tries to come closer, still on her knees, “touch me, baby.”
cw: blowjob , dacryphilia , very disgusting , manhandling , spitting , cum swallowing , petnames like “doll” , slight objectification .
You can’t help desperately clinging on when he fucks your face.
Drool and snot runs down your face in a sticky mixture, your tears mix in soon after when you feel his member hitting the back of your throat. You scratch at his thighs, trying to show him that it’s too much but one of his hands holds your hair so tightly you can’t angle your head away.
The other hand strokes your head gently.
“That’s it, my babydoll, you take daddy so well.”
Your eyes are teary, bloodshot, lashes beading with tears as you suck Joel’s cock, bobbing your head up and down. The hand holding your hair forces you to deepthroat his cock and you don’t even fight him anymore, letting the girthy length of it penetrate your already-sore throat.
The way your throat bulges slightly turns him on more than anything. The sight makes him cum, thick semen pouring down your throat steadily before the stream stems and he pulls himself out.
“Ohhhh, fuck, baby. Let me see that pretty face,” he tilts your face up, thumb hooked under your chin, and spits right in the cum mixed with saliva mess in your mouth. “Be a dear and swallow.”
You obey, like a sweet fuckdoll, and smile with your trembling slightly swollen lips.
everytime i’m playing as Jackson! ellie & i see this cutie patootie puppy dog smile, i just wanna zoom in and kiss her all over her face she’s so adorableenrjfjrke
TRIGGER WARNING — graphic descriptions of violent fantasies, threats, murder mentions (screenshots included below).
i can’t believe i have to say this in the first place, and i’ve been debating whether i should post these at all, but this has been going on for over a year now, and it’s gotten to a point where i feel like i should address it.
↑ these are some of the anonymous asks i’ve received over that time. all of them contain violent fantasies & some even admit to murder. i already mentioned this when it first started happening, but i never shared the actual messages, because i didn’t want to give the person behind them the attention they were probably looking for, and because i sincerely hope that, at the end of the day, they’re just trolling. also i thought that, considering it had been almost a year since i’d gotten this type of ask, this anon finally got a fucking grip, but oh well.
i have no idea why i’m the one receiving these/what their point is, but whether these asks are legit or made up to troll me, sending graphic confessions & fantasies to random strangers online is just insane behavior like?? i’m a fanfiction writer on tumblr dot com. there is nothing about my blog that would make me an appropriate person to dump this on. in fact, there is no reasonable justification for sending messages like these to anyone online, ever, just because you have the opportunity to do so anonymously. i don’t want to turn off the anon feature because i still want those anons who know how to behave to have the chance to share their thoughts & requests. with the stuff i write, i understand why some of you would rather send requests anonymously, and i don’t want one person ruining that for everybody else.
tbh i’m not sure what i’m trying to accomplish with this post beyond making it clear that sending shit like this to random strangers on the internet is not normal, regardless of what you’re hoping to get out of it. i’m only here to post my silly little fics. you don’t know me & messages like these are a pretty good reminder of why i prefer to keep it that way. i wasn’t even planning on posting this: as i said, some of these screenshots are almost a year old atp, and ignoring them was working for a while, but considering this anon is apparently still around & reading my blog, i’m assuming they’ll see this too, so i’ll end with a general psa: if you’re sending people stuff like this (real or not), being on anon does not make you impossible to identify, and if i’m not the only person you’re sending it to, maybe take that into consideration.
origamiaround
kianamaiart
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