Family-Moodboard & Headcanon’s part 1 (Answered in Beebo’s voice):
You know when you’re a young kid,your dad is like this hero: you don’t need superman or batman because he’s exactly that and you’re meant to feel like you’re a hero too eventually and until my teenage years I did feel like Robin; I was taken to these awesome movies and my dad always supported what I wanted to do and maybe that was because I was the youngest out of my siblings but I dunno…
That changed when I got slightly older; I was doing bad in school and neither of my parents knew why and I was picked on a lot (called a Spaz)…that’s when we eventually found out I had ADHD and they put me on meds. I was never as close to my dad after that, I sort of sunk into my own hole and wanted to make myself feel anything…my dad wasn’t big on the whole weakness thing.
The meds made me feel like I was trapped in my own body, I was this young teenager trying to do something right (by studying the mormon religion) but I hated both because they made me feel trapped so, I turned seventeen and I stopped both….Unsurprisingly this always led to arguments but I had to do me…whether or not my dad liked it.
It was around then that I met Brent and he convinced me to try out for his band to be the replacement guitarist and I did…-I loved it and I loved music again this only really made the arguments stronger (dad was afraid I’d get into drugs or something..I guess)
My mom always the person I went to when things would crumble; if I was scared or terrified as a kid she’d make me feel safe and loved.
She was the person who didn’t make me feel like a crazy person when I was diagnosed with ADHD and later suffered from Anxiety...-she just accepted me for who I was.
I’ve never been that close to them, I see em’ and we talk but I was never inseparable with any of them.
They always just didn’t get me and I guess they still don’t?
Part 2; Friends/loves etc
We were great friends at the start of Panic, to be fair I always sort of had a crush on him and I wasn’t ever really sure about anything because no matter what I wanted for a while I figured he was straight and that was it; it’s what he told the world so that was that.
Things did eventually happen, a kiss here or there that then progressed into this bigger thing and you know I just fell hard...i’m not sure that was the case for him (maybe that’s why he wanted to keep everything a secret)
I eventually wanted more can you blame me? and he didn’t so things just got crazy and we couldn’t really be in the same room.
I remember crying in my bed day after day when he first left patd because regardless of how much crap had gone on he was a big part of his life and the feelings were still there.
Brendon started talking to Ryan again recently and it feels awesome and that means the fucking world to him.Because regardless of anything going on he likes having him a part of his life.
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