The Novel

I will post some paragraphs of my novel every week.Start reading from the beginning!

[diane-nguyen-watches-cartoons-d]

[memewhore]

[ampervadasz]

“Are you ok...?”

[important-animal-images]

[important-animal-images]

[wav48k]

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

[wav48k]

Do you need something.

[wav48k]

before this starts getting notes i have to add that this is not my dog. i dont know how he got in my backyard

[luisonte]

Humanooooo dame de comeeeeer!

[otthonzulles]

the voice of my people

[cannibalchicken]

[bogleech]

Sometimes they eat sand dollars : )

[poondragoon]

Sharks have 10-20 times the bite force of a human.

A sand dollar test has roughly twelve times the crushing strength of a Pringle. QED, a shark may indeed experience the crispness of a Pringle.

[libertarian-druid-ny-separatist]

Sharks don’t need or want our human “Pringles”, they want Sand Dollars because they taste better if drenched in saltwater.

[catchymemes]

[blondejaneblonde]

Okay, but I would pay extra for this driveway.

[naamahdarling]

Um, can I please get every neighborhood kid and animal to come walk across my driveway? Can I get a cat to just run around on there? This flock of ducks did such an amazing job!

[goddamnshinyrock]

I was 18 months old when my parents built their house. After pouring the concrete slab for the foundation, my father, world’s most sentimental man, carried me down into the hole so he could preserve a single imprint of my little baby foot in the house he was building for me to grow up in.

Naturally, I wriggled loose, so what is actually preserved for posterity in my parents’ basement floor is my mad dash through this glorious new mud pit, followed by my father’s footprints in hot pursuit, a visible scuffle where the fugitive was captured, and then my father’s prints returning to the ladder.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I hope some future archeologist finds your parent’s basement floor because they’re going to lie down on the ground and cry about it.

[fairytalepalegirl]

[important-animal-images]

[ultrafacts]

[spriggan675]

I think adults need summer vacation. Like let's just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I'm so tired.

[humansofnewyork]

“It had to be terrifying for my parents. They came from St. Kitts with nothing. It was moment-to-moment, paycheck-to-paycheck. At one point we were living in a one bedroom apartment with eight kids. It was chaos. There was always something happening: fighting over the remote control, or whose clothes, or whose shoes. But we also had each other for happiness. All of us were going through the same thing. The whole family shared a single camera, a point and shoot. Everybody got a turn. And it got used a lot. Today if you go into my home, or my dad’s home, you’re going to find a bunch of albums. Whenever we get together, we’ll take them out. It’s mainly just photos of the day-to-day stuff: birthdays, holidays. Maybe a picture of us all sitting at a table, eating a meal. But if you think about it real quick: that’s what life really is. Some of my happiest moments are just eating with my family. Food, laughter, and a lot of people. That’s love to me. Nobody’s thinking about what happened before we sat down. Nobody’s worried about what’s going to happen when we leave. We just trying to get this food.”

[humansofnewyork]

“My grandmother got us out of foster care, piece by piece. At one point there were like fifteen kids in her home: all my siblings, all my cousins. She worked all the time, sewing linings into hats for Jewish men. There was a room in the basement with four sewing machines, and everyone had to do their part. It was tough love. But she kept us together. My mother never came to visit, not even once. Not even on weekends. And I was a curious kid, so that killed me: never knowing why. But every morning I got to wake up with my siblings and my cousins, and I was thankful for that. That was beautiful. And our grandmother gave us that. One morning when I was twelve she sat me down, and said: ‘Your mother wants you back, but you’re welcome to stay.’ She gave me that choice. And I decided to move in with my mother. By that time she’d gotten clean. And she showed me love. Way more love. Way more. Not in the way of: I’m going to give you a hug, or a kiss. But listening. Like, I’m listening to you. My grandmother was stretched too thin for one-on-one. So I’d never felt heard as a child. But my mother would take me on these long walks. She’d let me talk and talk. She’d be my ear. She taught me that I have a personality. I never knew I had a personality. It was always just wake up and do what everyone else does. My mother showed me how to be happy. She was so joyful. She wore the brightest clothes. She was like a rainbow in a person, and she became my best friend. She died of a heart attack when I was fifteen; she died in my arms. And part of me is always going to feel broken because of that. That’s the part I don’t show my kids, you know. The part that still feels alone. But we had three years together. And during that time she answered all my questions; that’s what I’m most thankful for. She was an open book. She told me her trauma, her story. How she met my father. How she was introduced to a lifestyle that she just didn’t know about. How she got so addicted, and how she never wanted me to see her like that. Not even once. Now I’ll never have to wonder. She gave me the gift of knowing. Knowing why she did what she did. But mainly, knowing what having a mom feels like.”

[samfodo]

Its obvious to me when people who post about canaries in mines have never met a canary. Like yeah the miners had a special device to revive the canary because canaries are one of the most adorable creatures on the planet and they make adorable little chirping sounds and honestly probably loved the sounds of machinery and people talking so it was probably loud and friendly with the workers. Whatever though maybe meet a canary sometime and youd understand

[samfodo]

If you see this animal every day at work, and it sings to you during your hardest bouts of labor, you will be distraught if it dies. Even if you know this creature is meant to die in lieu of you, you still hear it when the labor is at its hardest and your muscles are struggling against the weight of your work. It is so small, smaller than your soot-stained hands and louder than the death that follows you. You dont want it to die. The same as a woman does not want her candle to run out ; she knows that is the point, its flame is meant to burn the wick and melt the wax ; but she is not indifferent to its wasting away. She may even save her favorite candle as not to burn it too quickly. Now imagine you are that woman, and there is a way to rebuild your favorite candle that you love the smell of and the way it flickers. Would she rather throw her candle out? Or would she rebuild it? That is a canary to these miners. Would you allow an animal to just die when it has been singing for you? It reminds you that it is alive, and you are too. Its stop of song signifies the lethal danger you are in. Why abandon it? Is the miners' love for a little bird really that surprising?

[is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat]

Why does this read as though written by a coal miner of the era in which a canary was needed.

[whatwwwwwww]

Because time is an illusion and love is infinite

[important-animal-images]

[theblackparadeisdead]

This is terrible but today when I was playing volleyball outside with some friends one of their children (18 months) was sort of ambling around on his stumpy little toddler legs and so we were all trying to be careful and like not spike the ball onto the baby but then he wandered over to his father, who picked him up bc dad reflexes, and then the ball got passed over to the dad and he sort of had a no thoughts moment and instinctively used his child to smack the volleyball over to the next person. Like he just swung the kid and used his legs like a baseball bat. I'm never going to forget his face of premature regret mid baby-manuever right when he realized what he was doing AND the instant he realized his wife saw it happen. Anyway the baby was fine he didn't make contact with the ball all that hard and he was just mad his dad wouldn't use him as a club again but I had to sit down because I laughed so hard I cried.