Hydrate or Die Straight

I'm just a weird internet guy people keep finding funny. I go by Ender, they/them pronouns please! And by please I mean use them or I burn your house down. Cheers. Racists, transphobes, aphobes, biphobes, panphobes, and homophobes aren't welcome here. Don't be a fuckhead, and we're good. Header and icon are both mine.

[fluorescentbrains]

this lab safety training module is sending me

[fluorescentbrains]

I feel like whoever wrote these questions was speaking from experience

[sorrysisxxx]

just gonna remind people piracy is awesome and entirely okay. the streaming service does not need your monthly payment. the game studio does not need your 80$. try before you buy, or never buy at all, steal whatever you want.

[farmgf]

what the FUCK is going on right now. what is going on

[farmgf]

this post is so funny because it has over 10k notes and no context but all you have to do is look at the time stamp to know exactly what the context is

[yellowocaballero]

Predator: Badlands was so good that it's gotten me back on a Predator kick lately (and Terminator, and Alien, because you can't just rewatch one). It's a little known fact, but the Predator franchise includes an ARG-like experience where you too can microdose the experience of being in a Predator movie. All you have to do is to go onto the Tumblr Predator tag, and you too can experience the psychological horrors and torments faced by the legendary badass warriors of the Predator franchise. A gauntlet created by the people who apparently want to fuck a Predator.

[yellowocaballero]

[tbdagent]

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

[tbdagent]

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

[tbdagent]

tastes delicious so good. idk what to do with it though

[tbdagent]

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

[punishedsaints]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[nynehells]

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

[luulapants]

actually once you do vote by mail once, it feels STUPID that in-person voting is even a thing. getting to sit with your ballot in your house, easily see your options, have time to do research and consider your choice, talk with friends and neighbors about their vote. it's especially so for small local elections and primaries where you might not have heard about different candidates and really have to ask around, attend local events, or dig into local news stories to find out who they are and what they stand for. but, of course, not allowing voters to easily research and carefully consider their votes is why there is opposition to vote by mail in the first place.

[kedreeva]

I get the sentiment, but in person voting needs to remain a thing. Not an exclusive thing, absolutely not, but the choice needs to be there.

People that don't have a residence to send a mail in ballot to need to be able to go in person if they can. People in situations with abusive spouses or partners or families need to be able to go in person and be allowed to vote without influence, if they can. People who would feel pressured to vote one way or another, or feel pressured to show their ballot to someone else if doing it at home. People that can't read or write and don't have anyone they know or trust enough to help them with the ballot can get help at the in person places. They can ask questions of the volunteers there to assist. People that are nervous to do it alone can go in person together and make a little event of it. Sometimes the mail gets misplaced or stolen.

There are a lot of reasons that in person voting is a thing and should remain a thing, just not an exclusive thing. I want to receive my ballot in the mail to my house that I own, and spend time with my wonderful spouse looking up the candidates and reading each other their stances on stuff we care about, and I want to drive my car over to the township building at my leisure and pass my completed ballot to a human being so I know it was received. But I also understand not everyone is in that kind of position, and that having more than one option on how to vote is essential actually. Voting should be as easy and accessible to as many people as possible.

[hemipenal-system]

also yknow i do think that people would probably have more success dealing with transphobes if they just got obliquely blunt and unwoke about it

“look at her thats obviously a woman are you fucking stupid” works way better on the average transphobe and bystanders than “well shes transitioning so you should try not to be transphobic to her”

[hemipenal-system]

the average transphobe has kind of psyched themself into a paranoid reality that is mostly incomprehensible to the average person, and because of this the easiest way to socially defuse them is to make them look completely batshit insane. if you're surrounded by normal people, a well-placed "what the FUCK are you talking about?" mid-rant about chromosomes and hormones can shut them down infinitely better than trying to out-gender science them

[lttrsfrmlnrrgby]

"My Grandma taught me it was bad manners to talk about other people like that, and that it was good to mind my own business. Sorry to hear you weren't raised right," usually works for me.

[beaft]

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

[beaft]

recent example. lady at my careers appointment had a post-it with her name on it stuck to the monitor, so i introduced myself by saying "hello, i'm eliot! you must be [name], it's nice to meet you!" and she stared at me as if i was the stupidest person alive and said icily, "yeah, i'm [name]. congratulations, you can read."

in bygone times this would have reduced me to a sort of quivering blancmange. thankfully i am now in a place where i was able to pull back, calmly evaluate this interaction, and say to myself "this woman should probably not be working in a customer-facing job"

[beaft]

important additions!!!!

[worldineverknew]

why yes Tumblr, I do know someone who'd love 9/11!

[mirainikki]

you are white before you are trans and i feel like some of y'all forget that

[mirainikki]

this post is proof that white people hate it when you tell them they hold privilege over people of color

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[tibli]

tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.

with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best

[marlinspirkhall]

I've got to find myself more macrophage

[acesexualspock]

Now Hiring: macrophages

[daughter-of-sapph0]

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

[depsidase]

[evergreen-femme]

seeing how much of mainstream cultural life is organized around the standardized myth of The Genders after living outside of it for a long ass time now is uncanny, depressing, and fills me with utter dread at what our species has done to itself and will do to itself.

[evergreen-femme]

this post was inspired by looking at the greeting card section in a target. these cards are really out there saying things like “you are a man, and it is your birthday.” “you are my wife and i am a man.” even “you are the best wife for a wife” as the single LGBTQ option. “hi mother, i am your son and i wish you, my mother, a happy birthday. you are a woman”

and if you look with eyes that can see, this is just how everything is now. no wonder everyone is going into a collective psychosis over trans people just existing, their entire sense of self must be tied up in these concepts.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

What determines luck?

According to the Talmudic Mishna, it's is a result of tiny beings in our cells called "Mazel-chrolrians" that secrete a force that determines luck. The earliest Amoraim of the Gemara have no comments, but later generations including Rabbi Abbahu felt this was an unnecessary addition to the Hebrew Canon, stating that the mysteries of Hashem are not for us to know and that this only weakened the Torah by attempting to make it "Hard Sci-Fi" at the cost of the Jewish fandom.

Rashi expands on this to state, "Always two there are, a Schlemiel and a Schlimazel. But which is the Schlemiel... And which is the Schlimazel?"

[hrst-boruvek]