We Are Woven

| Aria | 24 | She/They | Queer/Mad/Crip | Not your conservative tradwife dream girl. Mostly a veiling blog with a bit of modesty.

[sirens-and-scarves]

I’m always open to asks and DMs, feel free to message me!

~

Intro

Hello! My name is Aria! Here I hope to create a space for those wishing to engage with modesty and veiling in a positive, loving, and inclusive way that encourages personal exploration. There are a lot of religion specific conversations around modesty that are unique to certain groups of people, but if you find yourself as part of a more unrepresented religion or wish to interact with veiling and/or modesty outside of religion, I hope this blog can help! Because of the more general and diverse community I wish to reach, I want to make my own personal stances very clear, though they may get more refined or change as I learn more!

Note To Fetishists

I am going to be completely transparent when I say I am not a particularly knowledgeable or active person when it comes to sexual topics. I am not the kind of person who can get into a long and detailed conversation about bedroom politics. I cannot make any sweeping statements about what is and is not ethical when it comes to fetishes, I can only speak for my personal boundaries and what I wish to cater to. I do not wish for my blog to be used in a sexual manner, I do not wish to be contacted by people with a veiling fetish asking about my own veiling practice, and I do not want to find my veil sexualized. I will not tell you what you can and cannot, should or should not, do in the privacy of your own house. But I do not wish to suddenly find myself in your bedroom. I veil as a religious practice, to me it is sacred, and I do not wish for that to be sexualized.

Also, heads up! If your blog looks like a bot (no content, no banner, no pfp or AI-generated pfp, weird username) I'm gonna block you under the assumption you're...well...a bot, or someone trying to get around my boundaries.

Values I Hold

1. Modesty and veiling are tools that people should choose whether or not they're helpful for them. Shaming, guilting, or downright forcing people to be modest or veil is unethical, oppressive, and does not do justice to the people being forced as well as these concepts as morally neutral practices.

2. Modesty and veiling are, indeed, morally neutral. No matter how much skin or hair you cover or don't cover, people need to be afforded the same amount of respect and recognition of worth. In an ideal world people would be able to act respectfully no matter whether someone is butt naked or clothed in several layers of fabric, no matter where they go (barring safety and practicality reasons).

3. The (currently) inextricable link between modesty, veiling, and the oppression of vulnerable groups of people like women, people of color and cultural minorities, disabled people, religious minorities, etc. needs to be on your radar when talking about these topics and in our wider consciousness. If you are trying to be intentionally modest or start veiling you need to start acquainting yourself with the experiences of people outside yourself who have a different relationship to these things than you do and you need to be able to honor that.

4. Modesty and veiling are open concepts for EVERYONE. Women, men, trans, cis, queer, straight, disabled, able-bodied, absolutely everyone. Only specific garments or terms can be considered closed practices, like the kippah being a closed style or the term hijab only being used for Muslims/Arabic speakers while the style is open for everyone. Inclusivity and respect are integral.

5. Veiling, specifically, comes with responsibility. Use your voice and whatever privilege you have to uplift and support those who benefit less socially than you. If you're a full-time veiler and you look to Muslim women and their expertise and resources to grow your practice, do not turn a blind eye to things like the laws in France banning hijab and the burkini. If your Sikh friend feels targeted in public because of their dastar, do your best to go with them and give emotional support. Do what you can to give after you have been given to.

How I Use Tags

In the event you're confused (and care) about how I use tags, here is my silly little Autistic system.

#modest: Paintings and photos where the clothing is something I wouldn't be too terribly uncomfortable wearing.

#modesty: Text posts that talk about modesty.

#art: Painting/drawing/visual media that is not specifically photos of people.

#masculine veiling: Veiling styles or people with some visible relationship with masculinity.

#original addition: Whether it be reblog additions or completely my own words, this is Me Talking.

#queer: Intersection between being queer and veiling! Probably mostly text posts but hopefully some photos.

#disability: For all the talk about veiling and disability!

#write in: All the asks I may or may not get!

#veil on tits out: Paintings (or photographs who knows we’ll see) of people with a veil on and tits out! Mostly gonna be paintings of women because…yeah. But still. She is me, I am her, and I think it's fun.

Tag order: #art #painting #drawing #sculpture #text post #poll #write in #photography #drawing #veil #veiling #headscarf #headcovering #veil on tits out #masculine veiling #queer #disability #modest #modesty #resources and thoughts #original addition

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Girl, I know absolutely nothing about textiles but this comment made me laugh out loud for a good minute. I shared it with a friend and she was like, that's really funny, what does it mean tho, I was like I have NO clue! I though might enjoy this little anecdote. 😆

I DID ENJOY THIS ANECDOTE! I am so sorry for getting to this so late but I would be happy to explain!

So shuttle tatting is a way of making lace, and it’s all made with a single kind of knot (the slip knot). As a knot they aren’t particularly secure, and you’re supposed to form the knots around a ring and tighten it to create a loop. There’s like…a million ways for this to go wrong, to be honest. It’s probably not the hardest fiber art out there but as someone who doesn’t crochet or knit and who has only ever weaved (which has no knots thank goodness) it was more difficult. Tension is something that’s important in basically almost all fiber arts as far as I know, and it’s the easiest thing to mess up and make everything super wonky. The joke is that, basically, God has tried to do something really Niche and Special with me but alas he’s mucked it up quite poorly and I’ve turned out…well, the way I’ve turned out! Personally I also enjoyed the “slip knot” play with “slipped out” which is how I refer to my joints dislocating! But obviously the average person seeing that comment wouldn’t know that!

Anyways, I highly recommend shuttle tatting if you want to make lace. Low barrier of entry, really portable, and not too expensive. I like making headbands for my headscarves!

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oh yeah im a huge statistics hater. a majority of my american friends are now hypnotized by statistics and think of everything as a stereotype or meme or conspiracy theory so I've lost touch with them because nobody thought to check on me or talk to me when I almost died.

they forgot that other cultures exist because their minds are too occupied by propaganda so they've abandoned the weak. I don't approve of it much.

I primarily engage with art as a way to learn history and I don't listen to older, more esoteric philosophies, so I get alienated from friends who have been to college and already have frameworks in their head for how to behave. Mine is spiritual, and I am considering inducing veiling into the subculture of my system.

I need to grow my hair out, though. I don't want to suffocate it while it's growing. I had cut it off during a weak moment. Do you have any beginner information?

Personally I’m not anti-statistics, I think there’s just a huge problem with statistical literacy in America (where I live) and that leads to a lot of people being obnoxious or using statistics to try and argue a point that the statistics do not support. Numbers need context, rigor, and good faith engagement to be helpful. Unfortunately, that takes a lot of effort that a lot of people simply don’t want to put in. They’re seen as these like imperial and therefore impenetrable foundation to build a worldview on when in reality data collection is not neutral or impervious to fault. Anyways! I’m rambling!

Veiling shouldn’t keep your hair from growing if you do it right. Just making sure you’re not introducing a lot of friction or tension damage and give yourself breaks and you should be fine. As for beginner information, I have loads! If you check out my “resources and thoughts” hashtag you’ll see a whole bunch of stuff from how to take care of headscarves to how to prevent tension damage to how to go about refining your reasons for veiling! You’ll also see me going on a bunch of rants so you’ll have to parse through it a bit, but it should be easier to find! If you have any specific questions about anything in particular or about a post, feel free to let me know and I’ll be happy to help answer it if I can!

[sirens-and-scarves]

Have you ever read Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi? I read it in school and its one of my favorite comics

I have! She’s on my book shelf as we speak! I have yet to read the sequel unfortunately but it is a wonderfully crafted comic and I highly recommend! I think it’s one thing to live in the West and know about things like The Islamic Revolution as a concept, but I personally find narratives that follow an individual experiencing a period of time like that to be much more compelling than statistics and generalized facts.

[sirens-and-scarves]

Hello, I'm not here to ask questions, just to offer words of support and solidarity as one queer pagan to another queer pagan. You and I are different, but I always appreciate seeing people who aren't afraid to be themselves, whether that's alt-culture, "unpopular opinions", their own view on religion or veiling, or something else. Being modest by choice and being assertive at the same time in a world where sеxuality is required and modesty is associated with weakness and submissiveness is, frankly, very punk and I respect and admire this very much.

Have a nice day/evening/morning/night!

I hope you will have a comfortable life for yourself. You deserve support, acceptance, people with common interests and many other good things

(Sorry if I said something wrong, I'm not always good at wording, especially since English isn't my native language and especially considering that I accidentally woke up in the middle of the night and found your blog 😅)

I’m both giggling and kicking my feet and sobbing right now, you’re so sweet! I’m so glad I come off assertive, I have a really hard time being firm with things as a hell of a lot of childhood trauma has given me a super gnarly Freeze/Fawn response. You’ve done a wonderful job of helping me contextualize my modesty a little more, as I’ve never really considered myself properly assertive, so thank you!

I hope you know I also stand with you as a queer pagan and a human person! If you ever need anything, feel free to shoot me a DM or another anonymous ask and I’ll be happy to help! I’m sending you all my best wishes of love and happiness and community and support and all the good things!

As for not being a native English speaker, not only do you speak incredibly well but frankly I don’t care if you didn’t. I live in a minority majority city where a lot of Spanish is spoken by people with varying degrees of fluency in English. As far as I’m concerned, the fact that you know more than one language (even if imperfectly) is something to be proud of! I’ll never get frustrated with you or anyone else who comes into my ask box with less than proficient English, and if I get confused than so be it! Confusion is just a call for curiosity, and curiosity is a muscle we must strengthen through practice!

I hope you sleep well tonight and all the nights of your life, and I will be here!

[sirens-and-scarves]

Shout out to disabled veilers! Happy disability pride month! Also shout out to those who want to veil/used to veil but your disability made it difficult, or those who want to veil but have yet to start because of their disability. I’m sending you all my love!

[sirens-and-scarves]

Me when I remember I’m punk because sometimes I forget due to the fact that I don’t dress like it, and my existence as a punk who doesn’t dress like one pisses off posers to no end: mmm yes delicious good soup!

[sirens-and-scarves]

Laying in bed remembering when I did a really hard thing and shared some of my artistic work after several people, mostly queer women, pushed me and encouraged me to share and the first thing anyone said to me after I got off stage was from a man telling me that he really liked my outfit because men are looking for modest women nowadays. Did he not listen to ANYTHING I said on stage? I’m just. Ugh. It still makes me viscerally angry. Reminder that there’s literally NOTHING you can do as a woman to make men take you seriously and if you’re dressing modestly because you want men to see your personality before they see your body you’re doing the clothing equivalent of bailing out a sinking ship with a strainer.

[sirens-and-scarves]

hello! I was wondering if you could help me with some veiling styles? I've recently had a bad dye job and feel the need to cover my hair. I'm religious and have had practice with some veiling techniques but I haven't worn any long term nor have felt very good about the way it looks when I do wear them. I did find a style or two I liked but found that my scalp got too tender to wear it after a few hours and I didn't really know what I was doing ;o;. thank you for any help in advance!!! <3

Hello! I’m happy to help!

Firstly, because I don’t know much about the specific condition of your hair or what you’re trying to hide I’m going to assume all of your hair is impacted. If you only want to hide a portion of your hair (roots, tips, etc.) let me know and I can take that into account!

Secondly, I’m going to assume that because you haven’t worn anything long term that you might not have an abundance of materials so I’ll try to keep my suggestions easy to attain!

My two biggest suggestions are these cloth tube type things you can get at Wal-mart or other kind of stores like that. It’s a little over a foot in length and you can either scrunch it up in a headband style or let it hang back to cover more hair. You can also put your hair up in a bun under it it your hair is longer than that and you want to hide the ends. This is the cheapest option, but the cotton material might cause more damage to your hair if it’s already compromised.

Second option would be a satin square scarf you can tie in a bandana style, which would be better for your hair, but would be more difficult to repurpose if you stop veiling (if you like accessorizing your bags maybe you could tie it in a bow and use it for decoration?) but it would be better for your hair. I would suggest tying it lower down on your forehead so it stays and you don’t have to use pins or something else that might pull on your hair and make it tender!

I hope one of these works for you, but let me know if you want any more suggestions! If you want you can send me a DM or another ask with the state of your hair, more information about what problems you had with veiling previously, and the materials you currently have and I’ll see what else I can do! Don’t worry about sending something too long because I’ll gladly read through it all to help out!

[sirens-and-scarves]

“Modest women are public enemy #1”

“If you dress modestly women who don’t will hate you”

“Immodest women are jealous about the attention modest women get”

SHUT UP

Premature post so uh whoops but yeah anyways I’ve literally never experienced this and if you’re using other women’s either hypothetical or real reactions as a way to demonize other women you’re weird. Knock it off. Stop feeding into divides.

[somanyfandomsomfg]

Just had a moment of "should I be veiling as a transmasc person" and then I remembered I'm closer to a Thing than a man or a woman so I don't think this kinda stuff applies to me, and gender is a social construct anyway

[sirens-and-scarves]

Transmasc people, transmasc people closer to Things, and Things are all allowed to veil! It’s a piece of cloth, do as you see fit so long as it doesn’t hurt people!

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Ramadan Mubarak to all the Muslims who follow me! I hope this month is everything you want it to be and more! As for those who might not be aware, Muslim clothing stores typically have sales around this time of year (especially Eid) and you can get discounts on headscarves and modest clothing!

[sirens-and-scarves]

Malinconia (Pia de' Tolomei) (1846) by Eliseo Sala

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One of these days I will wake up having read enough Mad and Crip Theory to somehow make my veiling/modesty practice about that as well and when that day comes it is OVER for all of y’all.

[lucitecoffin]

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The ‘Dance of the Wilis’ Giselle (Unknown date) by Ran Chilipye

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Sometimes I wonder what the other people who frequent the various veiling and modesty tags I use think of my posts when they see them. Whenever I go through there it’s like 98% stuff that is either not particularly interesting to me, something I explicitly disagree with, or statements vague enough to seem alright but that come from some obscured purity culture stuff that I don’t vibe with. Then there’s me being vehemently leftist and I can’t help but wonder what goes through peoples minds.