SoundWaves

S!REN -Songstress - Flutist - Geek - Oceanic Creature - Creative Writer - Aspiring Bay Area Musician- Join me on this journey

[sirensongstriss]

DeeZystep, Korynn OC & S!REN - Intoxicate Out now!! Available on Soundcloud, iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon Music, Pandora & more Follow DeeZystep: @deezystep Follow Korynn OC: @korynnoc Photo: @rudefishphoto Art: @dephkhan Gas mask: @wingsofvalhalla Thank you for your continued support and love, had so many people asking about the release of this song and I'm so glad i finally get to share it! #LatinaProducers #WomenInAudio #future #bass #trap #pop #edm #dance #electronic #hiphop #singer #bayarea #bayareamusic #new #2017 #SirenSongstress #siren #DeeZystep

[sirensongstriss]

New music!!!! DeeZystep x Korynn OC x S!REN Intoxicate available on itunes and streaming platforms June 30th. #intoxicate #music #synthesizer #flute #bayarea #bayareamusic #WomenInAudio #womenproducers

[sirensongstriss]

My Spring

Every year we remained The world around us Grew dryer and dryer As I turned my back on you The parched earth was finally satiated The influx of rain Brought about a brief destruction But the earth will heal As it absorbs the new-found moisture and springs forth new life

[sirensongstriss]

The Curse of a Siren

I avoid saying your name Because it fills me with butterflies And anxiety To feel the syllables Roll off my tongue Is thrilling And dangerous Much like the ocean On a stormy night They travel like currents Flowing straight to my heart It hits and rocks in my chest Like a cove As the ocean swells Travels down to my stomach Leaving a wave of uneasiness You are not perfection You are not true love You are uncomfortable You bare the depths Allow me to explore I want to sing to your soul And bring a calm about your ocean But few are prepared To hear my song To not succumb to my devotion It's easy to forget how to love me Because I am so used to singing You may forget how to care About little more than my song

[sirensongstriss]

All Things in Moderation

I don’t want to be The most beautiful part of your world I just want to amplify The beauty around you I want you to appreciate The wonders of nature The scent of rain I want you to feel safe Experiencing your pain I’m not interested In being your prize A pretty face A nice set of eyes I want to be Your beautiful filter Your rose tinted glasses Your embellished frame I don’t want to be Your everything

[sirensongstriss]

The Safe Pen I Lost

They dressed me in blue

took my possessions

handed me a book

with all of my rights

a few blank pages

a safe pen

sent me on inside

they locked the doors

behind me

there was a security guard

I called New Zealand Lee

even if

it was only mentally

I sat down alone

in a room with a tv

I began to write down

everything

the walls were white

my memory hazy

I really felt as though

I might be crazy

my head throbbed

from the bludgeoning I had inflicted

the reason I was there

that felt so distant

glanced down occasionally

at my scratched up arms

all up and down

I had caused harm

well maybe not me

but somebody inside

somebody that I 

usually can hide

the world felt so dreary

for the past few days

I had felt so alone

and so very afraid

but within these sterile halls

I felt just fine

someone else was in control

and I felt comfortably confined

as they brought out lunch

I hardly could mind

that the food was repulsive

and meat was far too dry

I ate 3 trays

of broccoli and cauliflower

found a nice bench

to nap for a few hours

as I was awoken

eventually

it was caused by the calls 

of an angel beckoning me

she sang loudly

as she lay on the tile floor

“I’m sane” her words rang

over and over and over

the way her dark skin

contrasted with the tile

the way her pain

resonated in her singing style

the way music had found me

even here

I had all but instantly

banished my every fear

I was so tempted to join

and sing in harmony

until the guard appeared

and ushered her a last warning

I sat up and curled

into a white blanket

the pen hit the paper

I could no longer fake it

my feelings poured out

from my flimsy pen

I didn’t think

I’d be able 

to ever lie again

because truth felt so good

almost self indulgent

I believe my truth was reclaimed

in this very moment

[sirensongstriss]

Press Repeat

Been forced to internalize

my pain and turmoil

it begins to jeopardize

my mental health as it uncoils

lonely

unloved

never good enough

always looking for

something I was unsure of

something I’m unsure I will find

hold me tight

tell me good night

kiss my agony alright

poof

gone

right before my eyes

this relentless fear

festers in my mind

my, my

time does fly

and we forget

just how to try

I really did fight

with all of my might

but it fails to matter

every time

[sirensongstriss]

Growth is Healing

I guess healing isn’t not feeling pain.  It’s coming to terms with the fact that life hurts, bad things happen and will always happen, but is that going to stop me from going on?  Is it going to stop me from jumping when the time comes?  No.  We love and we certainly don’t love to win.  We will always lose in love.  Lose to time, lose to death, lose to change, lose to pain.  Does this matter in those brief, beautiful moments?  Do we occupy ourselves with thoughts of tomorrow, turning the now into a victim of the future?  Or do we let go of past pains, open the gates and let ourselves be unadulteratedly happy?  I don’t mean the happy most of us pretend to exist in.  I mean brimming with joy, beaming, butterflies not just in your stomach but fluttering from the tips of your toes to the frayed split ends of your hair.  Sadness is not a price we pay for happiness, it simply exists and is present from time to time.  So then what should we do in life?  Crumple under the weight of despair?  No. Bloom in the face of adversity, glow in the darkness that is sorrow.  Let the sadness touch your heart, let it affect you.  Truly allow yourself to feel it, to experience heart break, despair, depression.  But do not in these dark moments stifle your soul.  Allow time for growth, time for creativity, time for rest both mentally and physically.  Be at peace in your pain and then simply grow.  The cycle will continue and it will be perilous.  The good moments will be well worth it, the bad moments will feel almost insufferable.  You will however find that though the cold bites, spring always follows winter, summer thereafter and it will always come, the time of Fall.  But don’t forget, despite the frigidity of the dead of winter, this cycle will carry on with or without you.  You simply must allow yourself to be open to the experience.  

Loving Waves,

-S!REN

[sirensongstriss]

Good Part Bad Part

I miss the good parts of you 

But the bad parts scare me 

I thought the good was worth the bad 

Even if it was just barely 

 I was wrong 

 Unfortunate I know 

Your words hit hard 

Blow after blow 

I thought I could fix you with love 

So I put on a show 

We were perfect on the outside 

Relationship goals 

Behind closed doors 

I really felt torn 

Love was in your arms 

But that love came with thorns 

My heart grew weary

I was tired and worn 

I begged for your sympathy 

You came at me with scorn 

Self centered, selfish 

You called me this and more 

"Fuck you" you'd yell 

And make a big deal 

Make me feel worthless 

And like my concerns were not real 

You'd call me jealous 

And overzealous 

But when you touched and kiss other girls 

Without fail it would propel us 

Into another fight 

Spend yet another night 

Battling words   

I could never make things right 

I committed mistake after mistake 

I could never change your mind 

I questioned my experience 

Though I had seen with my own eyes 

Your words clouded my vision 

Time after time 

I was thankful you put up with me 

Because who else ever would? 

I had all these flaws you assigned to me 

You were close to sainthood 

My friends reassured me often 

"You're such a good person" they'd say 

The way you acted with them was like night and day 

Such a caring, loving couple 

Always spreading it with friends 

I'd need your attention 

But you were busy giving it to them 

Since I left it's kinda funny 

I thought I'd feel alone 

But in our time together 

I felt the most isolated at home 

Because your heart was my dwelling 

There was no way of telling 

From the outside 

How much I cried 

Each day I died 

Waiting for you 

To see what I was going through 

It was all for you 

It was all for you 

It was all for you

 And what about me? 

We can all see 

I'm broken now 

But at least I'm free

[sirensongstriss]

Land Locked Thoughts Vol. 4: Hide and Seek

I hear you up there, talking to me.  I know it’s been a while and I never thought I’d find you.  I’ve searched high and low, at the deep dark depths untouched by the light.  I’ve searched under rock, found many a broken down old ship the likes of which were crumbling and eerie.  I’ve looked far and wide, amongst the waves that crashed so loudly, among the rocks where the seals cry out so proudly.  I have been looking for you, searching, and I must apologize.  I got myself side tracked here and there, following illusions that were leading me nowhere.  But here you are now, just in front of me as you always were.  You’re lovely, how did I never see this before?  Your tune rings out so clearly, harmonizing with truth and resonating with resilience.  You’re here to stay this time, because I will not be letting go.

Loving Waves,

-S!REN

[sirensongstriss]

Forgettable

Watching you pick someone else 

Happened in slow motion 

I saw all the signs 

All the actions that slowly added up 

I watched you take care of her 

As I took care of myself 

A job I was ill equipped to handle 

I felt your hold on me loosen 

As you embraced her tighter 

I felt like a failure 

As once again I was left behind 

I thought for the first time I had been safe 

I thought for the first time someone would choose me 

I knew for the first time I had been naive 

I remember now why I was skeptical 

The first time you said you'd loved me more 

I forever bear this curse 

The curse of an open heart 

The curse of needing to care for others 

The curse of you loving you 

In a way I could never love myself 

I really believed you felt the same 

But when I needed you most, you picked her 

She was easier to love than me 

She was easier to look at 

She wasn't stubborn 

She enjoyed being coddled 

She enjoyed the very attention 

I was so reluctant to receive 

Because I knew better 

Than to believe 

Someone could see something in me 

That they could love unconditionally 

 I'll never forget 

When the words escaped your mouth 

I asked if you were still in love with me 

You were unsure 

I had never been unsure up until that point 

I always knew I was in love with you 

But at that moment it changed 

Because how could I have faith in love 

As I watched you pretend you weren't 

Falling for someone else 

I still feel unloveable 

I know what it's like to stand by and watch 

Watch as your world erodes 

Watch as your lover embraces another 

It leaves a black hole in your chest 

Sucking in and destroying 

And this is heart break 

This is isolation 

Watching the love of your life 

Turn out to be the love of a few years 

Forgetting to care about you 

Forgetting to be in love with you 

And you're left knowing 

You truly are forgettable

[sirensongstriss]

so excited to share my own music for once!  Worked on this with a few friends last night after getting back from the women’s march in Oakland.  We worked on this for 7 hours since we wanted to do this in just one go. I'm actually kind of proud of this, got some good feelings out after the march. Remember the activism doesn't end here, it's only beginning. Let's remember to use whatever voice we have to educate others in our community and spread love and positivity. Use your privilege to educate, and remember when someone who is less privileged than you is sharing their experience, shut up and listen.  If you don’t understand the perspective of the oppressed, you don’t know what you’re fighting for. 

[sirensongstriss]

Today we March for our sisters, our aunts, moms, grandmas, ourselves. We march for a better tomorrow and a society in which we all can thrive, man woman and child. Black, white, brown or rainbow. We won't be silenced, we won't stop fighting, we won't forget that we are human and we have a right to equality. Women's rights are human rights and a society which does not care for its women is doomed to fail. Today i march for my sister, in hopes she can live in a society where all her dreams are attainable and she is able to be the person she wants to be. . . . . . . . . #WomensMarch #FuckTrump #bayarea #Oakland #OaklandWomensMarch #BeatsForLove #TheFutureIsNasty #feminism #feminist #SirenSongstress

[sirensongstriss]

Pieces

Everytime I look in the mirror I can see The piece of you Missing from me I wonder if you Look in the mirror And see The same thing

[sirensongstriss]

This song is just amazing, her lyrics capture this situation so perfectly.  Every difficult facet to articulate.  Her voice is amazing and you can hear the pain in her voice, especially at the looped “care for me, care for me...” lines at the end.  You can truly feel her pain and she literally begs to be loved.  It’s been so long since I heard this song and I’m so glad I went back and listened to some Lauryn Hill tonight because she really knows how to write and sing in a way that connects with others.  For me personally, that is my number one career goal as a musician, is to write some relatable music and sing it in a way that can move others to really connect with themselves.  I wanna be there for others the only way I know how. 

[sirensongstriss]

Please Don't Touch

You cannot take this Like everything else This is not another prize To place upon your shelf Because my music belongs to me My sounds are mine Exclusively I have fought you tooth and nail To keep my music without fail So please excuse me when i say You will not be taking this away You tease me incessantly Poke and prod You tell me I'm over reacting As i begin to sob So over time I've learned to deal By keeping my feelings tightly sealed You've hurt me Over and over again Looked into my eyes And called me your best friend As you turn around And dismiss my feelings and pain Laugh at my mental state Insinuate that i am just playing games You watch me closely Your eyes percing me with shame Though i work hard You focus on my failures rather than my gains So I'm here to reiterate once again You will not be taking this away

[sirensongstriss]

Went to my friends Bernie and The Wolf's album release party in Monterey, CA. Stopped by the ocean to sing. Enjoy the preview of my currently untitled work in progress😊 #SirenSongstress #ocean #Siren #sing #singing #music #songwriting