Stop, seriously. I’m literally dead right now. You’re so funny when you act like that!
“I’m a man and I can go have sex with girls with my big dick!”
Honey, it’s me. Come on now. Do I need to remind you of everything I’ve seen? Everything we’ve done together? The things you’ve said to me?
When we first met the day you brought me my coffee at the studio, I knew right away that I had a new gay bestie. The shy way you moved, the way you were looking at my shoes and nails, the way you got all flustered when that hot sound engineer guy came into the room. You were so sweet but so unsure of yourself. Why do you think I told you we were hanging out that night?
And I’m so glad I did! If we hadn’t become friends, I wouldn’t have been able to talk to you like a sister about all my guy drama, or have you help me pick my outfits for public appearances, or practice new dance moves with. We’ve made so much progress from that shy boy to the boss bitch that models my outfits for me and helps me rate dick pics from thirsty guys in my DMs.
Remember what you told me, babe? You felt much more at home doing girly stuff than you ever did pretending to be a normal guy. Pretending! That was your word, not mine. You’re one of the girlies, bitch. You know it and I know it.
And look, as many times as we’ve changed clothes in front of each other, I’ve learned a couple things. First, that little nub of yours is never gonna make a girl happy. Since I bought you that vibrator and made you promise to use it, you’ve even told me it’s getting almost impossible to get it hard anymore. But also, I know you’ve been in a room with me totally naked and it’s been just like being with another girl. It was giving sisters, you know it’s true. You barely even look at me! And I love that for you, sweetie, I do.
So don’t try to act like something you’re not. You’re out here in boy clothes - which look ridiculous on you if I’m being so for real - acting like a man. Walking around like a man walks, all stiff and rigid and trying to pretend.
Babe. You’re not a man. You’ve never been a man. And you need to start embracing that, not hiding it. You could never BE a man. Look at you walking around here in your little suit, you look like you’re playing dress up.
No, I’m sorry, you need to see reality here. Let your wrists go limp like when we talk in private. Wear the clothes I know you like. Giggle with me, don’t try to act all tough.
I think what we need is to get you a boyfriend to be the man in your life. That way you’ll be able to be yourself. Try acting like a big strong guy when you’re getting railed by his thick hard cock every night and squealing like the girly queen you really are.
That’s it, it’s settled. We’re finding you someone tonight. There’s lots of hot masculine gay guys here, trust me. But you’re gonna need to act extra faggy to show them you’re compatible since you’re dressed in that silly suit, okay?
Oooh, him! Alright come on, just like our girls’ nights, let’s go!
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