This is a draft of a something I’m trying to put together to better understand “sissies” and is the result of many conversations with sissies/Trans* on-line, on the phone, through Skype and in my real life (personal and work).
I’ve identifies four types of sissy “categories” based on my experiences, but it’s probably too confining or over-simplified. However, I’d like to post this anyway and see if it generates any conversation.
Notice to: college students, researchers, reporters, authors, thesis writers, phone sex operators and professional Dom/Domme’s - feel free to be inspired but do not steal my work. You are welcome share/discuss my concepts, but please credit me for any portions you copy/paste for use to avoid plagiarism or copyright infringement.
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Below is my initial “definition” of the four types of sissies I tend to encounter.
1) The Gay/Effeminate Sissy
He identifies as a man, likes his penis and enjoys the frilly, feminine, “faggoty” fantasy-play of being a sissy or super-bottom. The gay bottom sissy slut who is stereotypically “gay acting” and can’t modify their affect even if they tried, and if it weren’t for the stigma they suffer (by straights and gays), would live a happy, openly sissy life mincing and skipping about the planet. Being “sissy” simply comes naturally for them, and being a sissy is their authentic sex-positive, self-affirming expressing of their their gender/sexuality.
They are often a woman’s “fag hag” and are highly adept at socializing with women - but want nothing to do with them sexually, and may fantasize exclusively about other sissies, gay tops, “real men,” hypermasculine/dominant men, and the ultimate and unavailable… straight, married man.
These sissies are more likely to go to glory-holes and adult movie theaters, have hundreds/thousands of sex partners, etc., because there is no underlying barrier for them to express their love of men and their complete acceptance of their bottom leanings.
They are typically submissive by nature. Not just sexually, but in their tendency to defer to others, avoid confrontation, be a people-pleaser, and have fantasies of being the sissy of a strong manly-man. They are usually sweet, never “top” or rarely “switch,” nor do they want to be seen as “brats.” Because they have some sissy behavior self-expression, they want to become more of a sex object for men and to think of themselves as never wanting to make another decision again, but to be told what to do, when and how. This is the sissy who “can’t say ‘no’” …
If they are shy and submissive, they may also fantasize about extending their service-oriented, man-pleasing behavior into areas like domestic service, secretary, and other roles that celebrate the subservient role.
They are likely the least oppressed sexually because they are continually “read” by the general public as “gay” or sissy anyway. These sissies are gay men, but fall on the hyper-feminized, bottom vs top, end of the spectrum. They embrace their swishy, “faggot,” sissy ways, without guilt or any of the baggage that brings. It’s an authentic self expression that matches their outward projection (conscious and unconscious). This is a sissy who can’t hide, is already marginalized by straights, hated by gays for “continuing the stereotypical faggot” image, and therefore has nothing to lose and everything to gain by being the sissy cum slut that he is.
This is the sissy who has no reason NOT to move to a gay-centric urban setting where he will be safe, insulated from mainstream society and will likely delve even deeper into the sissy lifestyle. These sissies offer complete “service” without expectation of reciprocation. They are the go-to sissy for a blow-and-go at the local ADB, gloryhole or make-shift public bathroom.
It goes to say that they are also the sissy who is at the most risk for sexually transmitted diseases and is at the core of why they are marginalized by the gay community because they not only portray the “stereotypical” gay man, they embrace it. These are the sissies who do not have to live a double life, hide their clothes from their wives, sneak out to have an affair, etc.
For this sissy, the feminization may just be a tool to make themselves more attractive to straight men and are not because of any need to dress or because it is a reflection of their inner female (which they don’t have).
2) The Bisexual Sissy
This is likely the “secret” or “closeted” sissy. He/she identifies either as a man or transgender (and may not know where they are on the gender spectrum). They have powerful, repressed and unexpressed sissy feelings but they may not be sure about either their gender or sexual orientation. They like women sexually and emotionally and they may like men similarly but are often not sure. They may start and end their sissy journey obsessing over a man’s cock but not the man attached to it, or they may be truly bisexual to include attraction and romance.
They might be in a successful marriage and is often viewed by others as the “perfect” husband because he able to provide in all the traditional ways, but is also an effective communicator, sees his girlfriend/wife as his BFF or enjoys a certain feminine “sisterhood” bonding with her. He is primarily devoted to his wife, is very scared about venturing into the world and finding a man in real life to explore with and as a result is a very responsible, rule-following, dependable husband/boyfriend, provider and parent.
This type of sissy may have one or two intense, emotional and ongoing email or phone based relationships with men, and often like to see themselves as being molded into the perfect “girl” for one man (and perhaps his buddies). Despite having fantasies of being a complete cum slut, this sissy is likely to avoid opening that Pandora’s box and, instead, get all her needs met through sissy porn, erotica, fantasy, etc. For this sissy, talking to a phone sex operator may be the closest she gets to a real man relationship.
This sissy has deeply unmet sexual needs and fantasies. As such, her fantasies are complex and cerebral. She loves sissy hypnosis, chastity, orgasm denial, sissy training - and seeks a Master to bring her to a level of sissy heights she didn’t know existed. However, this sissy is likely to have a great deal of guilt and shame. She dreams of being controlled because she knows that when she cums, she will lose her sissy mindset, run back to her “fake” straight man world, watch straight porn to “wash out” the memories of being and feeling sissy.
This is the type of sissy who keeps coming back because she has not yet accepted that there is nothing she can do to stop herself from having her sissy feelings come back - and the deeper her sissy experience, the harder it is for her to stay away and the deeper the shame and guilt. This is a sissy stuck in a cycle. This is the sissy who seeks a Mistress/Master to provide her with sissy training to push (and “force” her.
She likes abstinence, teasing and orgasm denial. This is the sissy who knows that she will hang up the phone or run out of the hotel if she cums. She knows she will rush right back into “man” mode. She may be transgendered and this may be part of her training and it might result in her being able to finally rid herself of the external pressures of society that make her feel guilty, ashamed, “purge” her clothes, and so on, until she determines if she can love men and women as the gender fluid or bisexual sissy she is or if this is a phase on her way to being fully transitioned and actualized as the woman that she is (straight, bi, or pan) at the end of the day.
Until she breaks through the barriers holding her back, this is the sissy who is perched between ecstasy and fear. This is the conflicted sissy - who might think she is concocting some elaborate scheme to just “admit she is gay” but rather, is compelled to all things sissy in order to validate that she is, perhaps on some level - or ALL levels, a real girl on this inside and not a gay/bi man.
For the married, bi sissy, fantasies that might have their roots in shame/guilt and include small-penis humiliation, forced feminization, locked up in chastity, locked in high heels, hypnosis, mind-control, body modification and having her “boy” clothes thrown out if she ever met a man in real life, etc.
She may have deep cuckold fantasies. She wants the relationship she has with her wife/girlfriend but may want to also live vicariously through her as she watches her get fucked by a dominant male with a big hard dick.
3) The Transgender/Gender Fluid Sissy
This is the sissy who may or may not be able to “hide” their sissy affect. For them, being a sissy may be a transitional phase on their way to identifying as Transgender like the “Bisexual Sissy". They may be successful in a male/masculine role, but they regard themselves as “fake” or “beta males” and as they develop sissy and cross dressing fantasies, they imagine a dominant woman guiding and “forcing them” to accept this “obvious” truth that they are not a real man but a sissy.
For the Straight/bi sissy, the dominant female may be the only object of his fantasy. For the Bi/Trans sissy, women may be the transitional phase for them on their inevitable path towards seeking a “real man” - either as a sissy slut or (possibly over time) as a one-man-woman type of sissy who wants to learn everything there is to know about a man’s brain, sexual fantasies, etc., so she can be that for him and commit to him like a traditional 1950s wife would.
It is my opinion that the Bi/Trans sissy is the most marginalized and repressed. She has the most to lose in expressing her true self. Unlike the gay sissy who can’t hide his “gayness,” or the bi/Trans, the Trans/GF sissy may be adapt at navigating both worlds.
But the Trans sissy faces a real existential dilemma of self expression. It’s not just a fetish or fantasy. It’s not just about role “playing” but role “actualization.”
If she feels strongly about transitioning into the woman she is on the inside, she knows the high price of that in real life. In the meantime, she may be able to live on the cusp of both sides, be successful at both, but is likely to be repressed and frustrated.
I find this sissy to have the most intense sissy feelings, overwhelmingly sissy fantasies and fetishes, are drawn to being “forced,” “blackmailed” or otherwise made to admit she is a sissy and can never turn back.
She typically has body transformation fantasies. Overwhelmingly, for the Trans sissy, her sissy nature is just the start of a long process of feminine maturation. This is the sissy who is actually a woman on the inside and desperately needs acceptance and validation from others to move past what are almost always feelings of guilt, shame, etc.
This sissy’s developmental path likely starts out reaching out to other sissies like her, then progresses to a dominant female, then a man. These are sissies who I would tell… “when you’re tired of the strap-on and are ready for the real thing, call me.”
For married, secret sissies, it is often their wish that her wife would teach her how to be a woman and eventually help her get ready for her first date with a man. Her sissy behavior may be more a result of not being able to be the female they are (that cisfemales take for granted) but a hyperfeminization/manifestation of years-long repressed feminine feelings.
The sissy behavior is the overwhelming bubbling up of unmet needs that may (probably) tone down when the Trans woman underneath the sissy is able to mature her inner girl into woman-hood. This type of person who is a sissy (in transition only) eventually moves on to some type of transition (social, 24/7 dressing, HRT, SRS).
For the sissy in this category who can “pass,” she is likely the one who will change her name, move to another city, divorce herself from all past ties, and become a ghost - fully integrating into society as a woman, being accepted as a woman, and seeking the type of seemingly “ordinary” life that women have.
When sissies reach this phase, they are ready to move on. They have finished with their “sissy training” and have settled into true womanhood. They may eventually cut ties with their Trans peers and many won’t risk telling their male partners that they were ever born a biological male. There is a whole other world of issues, struggles and existential crises for the post-op, Transgender woman who has long past left the realm of the sissy.
4) The Straight Sissy
This is the sissy who identifies as a straight man, but has a fetish for cross dressing and may or may not know why. This is a very conflicted sissy, because there is no underlying gender fluid issue. He dresses because of the look or feel of the clothing - OR - (and this enters into the realm of modern day civilization), his expression as a sissy is a projection of what he desires so deeply for women to be for him.
The straight sissy appreciates and celebrates femininity. In his “real” life, he is often a successful “player,” or highly desired alpha-male in his own right in his pursuits of females.
This seemingly contradictory sissy is actually a testosterone pumped, hyper-masculine male. He is often the manliest man among us who is “hobbled” by feminism and western-culture. He is a man who, deep down, wants a submissive, beautiful, devoted wife (i.e., a woman who behaves like a sissy). He has a high standard for himself and others and his sissy feelings are the manifestations of the imbalance and changing roles of masculinity and femininity in society and his attempt to balance these dynamics introspectively.
The straight sissy struggles with “submitting” to another man and he does not want to submit to a female. He is not attracted to men. He views men as competitors or objects, sexual parts or an “actor” who can play the role of the real man that he (the straight sissy) identifies with being in his own life.
The male Dominant he fantasies about must be “man enough” to overpower and “force” him to be the woman that he desires. The straight sissy wants to understand and hone his own masculinity by living briefly in the role of a female completely possessed and controlled by the type of man that he is himself in real life. In sissy mode, the straight sissy lives vicariously through the eyes of a Real Man.
For the straight sissy, he is willing to live briefly as the true object of his desires - a submissive female - thereby completing the mental and psychological picture he has of how females should be, but aren’t or can’t be because of politics, culture, feminism, or the straight sissy’s own decline (age, health, etc.).
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