And it’s Go Boys Go They’ll time your every breath And every day you’re in this Place You’re two days nearer Death But you go… { Askblog for the Foundation’s Site 69 | Asks open! | M!A : None }
Who's talking? [A Guide to Colours Used Among Personnel]
Dr. Blue
Dr. Bubbles
Dr. Sparrow
Dr. Snek
Chiefy Chief
Dr. Muffin
Site Director Volodymyr
Dr. Tomato
Dr. Luna
Dr. C Salt
SCP-7619-1
Agent Buster
[ERROoo o RrR]
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-44667 is to be kept in a standard containment locker at Site 69. Gloves are to be worn at all times when handling SCP-44667 directly, and under no circumstances is SCP-44667 allowed to be worn unless during testing approved by the Site Director. (See Incident Log 44667-SNEK-233.)
Item Description: SCP-44667 is a one-size-fits-all blue baseball cap, retrieved from the remains of the house of Mr. [REDACTED] in Tallahassee, Florida.
Mr. [REDACTED] was first brought to the Foundation’s attention when he, whilst wearing SCP-44667, proceeded to [DATA EXPUNGED]; an alligator was [REDACTED]. The man in question then [REDACTED] [DATA EXPUNGED BY ORDER OF SITE DIRECTOR] like the bank teller, while [DATA EXPUNGED] large quantities of an illicit substance known as Krokodil; it was later [REDACTED] [DATA EXPUNGED] the ruins of a Jeep. [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-44667 was the only thing to survive the resulting conflagration.
SCP-44667 was collected by a vacationing Foundation staffer and brought to Site 69 for testing and containment.
Researcher Pix's note: Ok, I get it. You could have told me no, it's above your clearance to see this part. This is just mad libs at this point.
All relevant testing, interview and incident logs are included below.
[LOADING TEST LOG 1-A]
....
....
SCP-44667
TEST LOG 1-A
LEAD RESEARCHER: DR SNEK
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Snek: Hello, D-233. Can you describe for me what you see?
D-233: Uh, a baseball cap on a table? It’s got a [REDACTED] logo on it. And a hole in the brim.
Dr. Snek: Very good. Please put SCP-44667 on your head.
D-233: Is it gonna kill me?
Dr. Snek: Please cooperate with the test, D-233. Your failure to do so will result in unpleasant consequences.
[D-233 puts SCP-44667 on his head. Nothing happens. D-233 sits down on the now-empty table.]
D-233: Is, uh, is something supposed to happen? I think this one’s broken.
Dr. Snek: Interesting. Please remain where you are, I’d like to come in for a closer look.
[Dr. Snek enters through a small door at floor height beside the regular door.]
Dr. Snek: Please look at me, D-233. You don’t feel any different?
D-233: I mean, I…I….hey. Heeeeey….
Dr. Snek: D-233? What are you doing?
D-233: I always wanted to tie a snake in a knot!
Dr. Snek: SECURITY! BACK OFF! BACK OFF OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL-
[D-233 roughly picks up Dr. Snek and is bitten a total of fifteen times, the injuries sustained on both hands and arms, with one being on his nose. The bites prove fatal. The recording ends as security forcibly enters the room.]
Lead Researcher's Notes:
SCP-44667 is what I am terming the “idiot hat”, where putting it on your head results in you deciding on the stupidest and most dangerous course of action available to you at that given moment. Any further testing of SCP-44667 should be done with armed guards on standby at all times.
The doctor and agent look at each other in disbelief, then back at the message.
Ok. I’m gonna buy you lunch if you find out who Longschlong is for me. You have an hour.
The agent cackles as he stands up. I mean, I was gonna do it anyway, but hey, I'll take a free lunch! Oh yeah, and Buster’s on surveillance today, so he'll tell me if you stacked the deck while I was gone.
Dr. Blue shoots him a dangerously sly smile. No promises. Now get going, get all the intel you can. This has got to be a new guy.
Chiefy clicks his tongue in response and sprints down the hallway. Blue wades back to her cot and lies down.
Longschlong…? I mean. We’ve got some interesting codenames here, but. How did that get approved?
[ Keep underestimating me, friend. It’ll make the experiment all the more satisfying. ]
Hey Buster, check this out, beckons a security guard. The agent moseys his way over to the surveillance desk and scrutinizes the screen being pointed out to him.
Hm? … Oh damn. I’ve heard that tone before. That’s the “Uncooperative D-Class” voice.
They pause for a moment and watch as the two return to their card game, still bickering about pizza.
.... I give it a week before she forces him to eat that pineapple pizza.
A week? That's generous, man. I say once she's out of here, it's 48 hours until he's washing his mouth out with soap. You're forgetting she's Fitch's protege. That guy was nice and all, but damn was he a ruthless pranker. There's no way he didn't teach her his ways.
Okay fine. I say 72 and loser owes 20 bucks.
Deal. And make sure we get video footage... I could use that.
It's come to my attention that our personnel roster is growing. We'd like to welcome Dr. Goose, our newest addition to the medical staff; and Dr. Long Schlong-
Excuse me...?
I'm sorry, Dr. Greg, to our research team.
(Director's Notes:
Alright, who the hell wrote Long Schlong on my paper. This is completely unprofessional and did not under any circumstances make me laugh so hard my secretary had to check up on me. When I find you, you will be sorely missed.)
ive never been here before. I just want Dr Snek to know they're amazing and cool. also what kind of snake they are ? im curious owo
Well hello! It’s a pleasure to meet you. Dr. Snek, unfortunately, has some pressing matters to attend to for the next little while, but she asked me to pass along that she appreciates you all and can’t wait to talk again.
On the subject of the good doctor’s species, I do believe she is a Crotalus Viridis, or Prairie Rattlesnake, usually found in western Canada. She’s very venomous, so I wouldn’t suggest picking her up! If she takes a fancy to you she’ll probably ask you for a ride on your shoulders to the laboratories. I’ll send her your regards the next time I see her.
Listen- no one's been able to take that thing off of him. We've tried everything. So if you manage to somehow see his eyes, let me know, so I can make sure you get the most comfortable detention cell possible. You'll be a goddamn hero.
SECTOR 1, SECURITY DEPARTMENT - CELL BLOCK / HALLWAY TAU 2 / CAMERA 2J
TIME: 1508 HOURS
Hey.
Oh, hello. What’s up? Any… any news?
No, nothing yet. I just- uh- The agent pulls out a small, rectangular object. You wanna play some cards?
Silence follows, broken only by the sound of creaking bedsprings and shuffling feet. The doctor and the agent are now both sitting on the floor, one on either side of the bars.
Ladies first- what game do you wanna start with?
The doctor’s expression is unreadable from camera view, but a grin is heard in her voice.
So as far as we know, it’s suspected one of the engineers did something to trigger this event?
Now I would like you to keep in mind this is simply a theory, not the truth. Like I said earlier, we have to consider all possibilities, whether it was intentional, a mistake, or even an act of sabotage.
However, I believe the Director agrees with me that whatever triggered the Emergence Event was not directly caused by Dr. Blue.
As soon as I finish my last round of interviews, she will be released from detainment.
The hazmat suit used by Dr. Blue had been sealed in a standard protocol containment locker since ██/██/████, less than 48 hours after the initial experiment. This suggests to me that Dr. Sparrow had been aware of the beginning of a new instance emergence and followed contamination protocol in case her fears turned out to be correct.
The suit and all tools used had been sent at my request to the Forensics Department for evaluation, and with the aid of Maintenance, determine if any failure of equipment occurred. They reported that all parts of the suit were functioning as normal and that there was no breach anywhere in Dr. Blue’s equipment that could have led to her accidentally or intentionally touching the SCP. This includes contamination from the outside.
Dr. Sparrow’s hazmat equipment was also taken in for evaluation, with the same result.
Camera footage of the biopsy in question shows nothing amiss in the events leading up to, during, and after the experiment. From all camera angles, we can see that standard decontamination protocols were followed. No foreign objects entered with them into the containment chamber.
The guards on duty in 7619’s containment sector that day have all been interviewed. The doctors were both checked for foreign contaminants and objects and given the all clear. Given the fact that the guard postings in that sector had recently been rotated by routine scheduling, I sincerely doubt that Drs. Blue or Sparrow were able to keep anything on their persons to intentionally give to the SCP, or have enough time to plan something like this, knowing the repercussions. It should be noted, however, that the shuffling of large quantities of staff in such a short time has a tendency to impede work efficiency, and sometimes things are overlooked.
All in all, my initial observations conclude that Dr. Blue is innocent of any intentional wrongdoing associated with this breach.
[ Director, these are my notes regarding most of the technical facts surrounding this investigation. I have yet to conduct interviews with Engineering and meet with the Security Chief; given that prior to the biopsy some containment engineers were around 7619’s containment cell. It may be a false lead, but it’s a lead nonetheless.
And a couple final notes: I highly recommend that the doctor keep her position. I doubt that this was intentional, given the overwhelming evidence in her favour.
However, given the fact that SCP 7619-1-42 now exists, somehow Dr. Blue’s DNA came in contact with SCP-7619. If it didn’t come from the doctor herself, or the research lead, I suspect something else might be going on, and we need to find out what it is.
I... also think it would be in the Site’s best interests to not terminate this Dash One. For one, it isn’t a D-Class, and it most certainly isn’t hostile. It would be an excellent opportunity to study its interactions, relationships, and overall life cycle, if it possesses one. Also considering the ethical implications of terminating this particular instance (brought to my attention by several members of senior staff), I propose we simply contain this one for further study.
Dr Snek, apart from your friends and acquaintances in the foundation, have you ever met anyone else you liked or disliked?
Dr Snek looks a bit upset and hisses.
There was this one guy. Dr. [REDACTED]. He doesn't work here any more. One day he came bursting into my office with a couple of people and he was shouting about how I needed to be in containment! ME! So anyway, I reported him to Chiefy and HR. Last I heard he'd been relocated to that one site where we keep the stairway to hell or whatever it was. I always forget the number.
Does Dr Blue have any other fam members besides her dad?
Yeah, I've got an older brother! His name is J█████, and he's about six and a half years older than me. He works in the more... Nomalous side of things at the Foundation. Dr Blue laughs. He refuses to even be considered for Research positions like mine.
I never did have a mom in the picture, it was just dad and my brother. ...And all my dad's friends.
I guess- I guess that means I have five dads?
They feel like dads to me. They were always there to help when he needed a break, and I always feel safest when they're around.
Her smile fades a little. I haven't gotten to see them in a while. I could really use their advice right now....
...
Or maybe that's not such a good idea, considering that their advice usually is "shoot it and you've got one less problem".
Most of us around the Site are from Canada. Drs. Blue, Sparrow, and Bubbles are from Central Canada, I myself am from the Atlantic. Dr. Snek is from the West.
Dr. Tomato and her lovely kitty assistant Dr. Luna are both from the northwestern United States.
Dr. Muffin and Agent Chiefy are from New Jersey, they grew up together.
And our esteemed Site Director Volodymyr is originally from Ukraine.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some interviews to conduct.
gummygunk
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
prguitarman
dailybridgerton
kianamaiart