it's fascinating that while ichi enjoyed it at first, the reason he went so numb to it so fast wasn't because he disliked cats. rather, he realized now that he had no real excuse to even go out of the house for extended periods anymore. ichimatsu doesn't enjoy being a hikikomori, it's pretty painfully clear that it's super fucking isolating for him. finding cats was the sole thing that could even get him out of bed most days.
... but now that he knows where all the cats are , what's even the point? he could go there and go right back home. now he has no reason to even TRY to go out of the house. i mean he still would to feed them and see them, but he would be miserable unless he found kitties in unexpected places. the search is the biggest reason he enjoyed it so much and the riceballs kind of ruined tht for him for a little while, albeit unintentionally.
the only other times he really goes out is if his brothers drag him along or the nightly safe care shit. but the thing about that is, like . . . they don't drag him out often at all. and it's very rare that he can muster up the energy to go on his own. it's not impossible or unheard of, but when he does, he also walks the least busy / lesser known routes, where he runs into as little people as possible. he goes to the park only when it's incredibly isolated. he probably only goes for oden because it's so isolated / out of the way at night that rarely anyone goes there.
we only ever see him out and about in public places if it's with his brothers but even then he keeps his head down and tries to avoid talking to everyone. the cats were the only reason he'd go out of the house when his brothers aren't around or they can't convince him to go anywhere. the idea of not knowing where he could find one is the one thing that kept him going and walking, trying out new places he'd never been to before even if he was ANXIOUS AS HELL ABOUT IT.
in his mind, it was his first step forward to be more independent and breaking the vicious homebody hikikomori cycle, and it was actually one of few things he isn't burningly numb / actually does have strong emotions about whether he realizes it or not ( although i err on, he's the kind of depressed where he worries he's numb entirely and can't feel anymore but then something Happens that proves otherwise and it always makes him [shocked pikachu] when he does still VERY MUCH FEEL EMOTIONS )
so. yeah. his spirit and tendency to go out on his own for a little while was absolutely crushed. I think it was even more noticable how glum he was so his brothers tried to get him out of the house WAY more often -- aaand that's why we see him in so many morie social situations he'd usually be caught DEAD before ever attending. although he's grumpy on the outside, he does seem to appreciate it. he has sincere and extreme trouble expressing his gratitude, but it cannot be understated how much that helped his mental health in the long run.
Evidently, it eventually healed, and he never once blamed the cats -- but there's a speck of bitterness and disappointment at the riceballs which he tries to smother. they could never and would never be able to understand the weird way he approached thinking about the search. they were confused when he got upset with being shown every place cats could possibly be, and even if he DID try to explain it, they still probably wouldn't have gotten it.
after all, it's not very logical, and certainly is a VERY strange line of thinking. but it is who ichimatsu is -- a shut in, who is desperate for any excuse to leave the house on his own and gain the courage to do so on a more regular basis. when the sole thing that kept him exploring and getting out on his own loses all meaning, he falls into a pretty bad headspace about it and becomes more of a shut in than ever.
thank goodness that his brothers didn't let that happen for too long, though. <:)
