it will all make sense tomorrow

[apocryphics]

[sixthlion]

here at midnight bc my soul is aching

[sixthlion]

i know you don't want a husband, but are you sure you don't want children?

[sixthlion]

Body is betraying me. Yesterday he said he “took some advice from a genuine financial wealth management expert” and I woke this morning realising that was a reference to the woman he’s now dating. I don’t want him yet my stomach is churning and I can feel my heart pumping. And being angry at myself for feeling this way is only making it worse. Looking forward to being distracted later.

[sixthlion]

tired of seeing women make the same mistake generation after generation. what are we doing? sarah has had her 6th son (less than a year after having her 5th) for the sake of wanting a daughter. in the meantime, her husband of over ten years has married another woman. and turns out my brain has lied to me for over half my life as i truly, truly believed islam required a man to seek the permission of his first wife before marrying another. (he may have told her, the details are hazy.) idk why I track my life with hers but i do, most likely bc we're so close in age. i’m so disappointed. in her? maybe, but that doesn't feel right at all. with the system? not sure where that would leave me as a muslim. sad ending for a sunday.

[dk-thrive]

The older I get, the more I find that you can only live with beings who liberate you, who love you with an affection that is as light to bear as it is strong to feel. Life today is too hard, too bitter, too debilitating for us to suffer new bondages, new captivities from those whom we love. This is how I am your friend: I love your happiness, your freedom, your adventure, in a word - and I would like to be, for you, a companion you can be sure of, always.”

— Albert Camus, (to René Char, 1957) in "Camus-Char: Correspondence 1946-1959) (Gallimard, 2007) (via Alive on All Channels)

[sobcat]

[soracities]

"There may not be, you know, as much humanity in the world as one would like to see, but there is some. There's more than one would think. In any case, if you...if you break faith with what you know...that's a betrayal of many, many, many, many people. I may know six people, but that's enough. Love has never been a popular movement and no-one's ever wanted really to be free. The world is held together, really it is, held together, by the love and the passion of a very few people. Otherwise, of course you can despair. Walk down the street of any city, any afternoon, and look around you. What you've got to remember is what you're looking at is also you. Everyone you're looking at is also you. You could be that person, you could be that monster, you could be that cop. And you have to decide in yourself not to be."

(Meeting the Man: James Baldwin in Paris (1970), dir. Terence Dixon)

[sixthlion]

First Winter Olympics event I’ve managed to catch being the women’s 4x7.5k.. I’m in awe of the Swedes they’re remarkable

[metamorphesque]

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

[sixthlion]

34 was a big year.

[sixthlion]

sense of peace acquired last month is wobbly today. specific threads of attachment still exist. this is not unlike the time before (and the time before that) (and the time before that). it all comes to pass. will keep self busy by making plans for napoli trip in december. london in january. dream up something for february. winter feels exciting in a way it hasn't done before. i'm grateful for it all

[whentherewerebicycles]

“This is not a time to live without a practice. It is a time when all of us will need the most faithful, self-generated enthusiasm (enthusiasm: to be filled with god) in order to survive in human fashion. Whether we reach this inner state of recognized divinity through prayer, meditation, dancing, swimming, walking, feeding the hungry or enriching the impoverished is immaterial. We will be doubly bereft without some form of practice that connects us, in a caring way, to what begins to feel like a dissolving world. In addition to contemplating the Hopi message: know your garden and where is your water, we must also ask: What is my practice? What is steering this boat that is my fragile human life?”

— Alice Walker, We Are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For

[sixthlion]

[fyblackwomenart]

Clint Herring  –  Uchee Light

[dennybitte]

silent first light

by Denny Bitte

[sixthlion]

on thursday i told him i loved him (almost a year to the day we first met) and now i'm in self-imposed exile