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[walktoremember-deactivated20230]

bitches have the audacity to be upset because the main characters in a book named they both die at the end, die at the end.... i’m bitches

[siya-batmann]

Epilouge for turtles all the way down.

I realized the book didnt have one so i thought about writing it on my own, im not that great at writing fan fic but i hope you guys like it. Enjoy <3

I liked to think that everything works out in the end, and it almost did, but then I saw him. There he was, in line for a Dr.pepper, with his handsome face, and unruly hair and the memories came flooding back. 

I thought to myself, shit, what do I do, do i look good? Do I go up to him?Maybe I shouldn't. But what if it was one of those times where I regretted not doing something? I should just  go, no I wanna stay. GO. STAY. 

Then all of a sudden he looked at me and a huge smile spread across his face

He’s coming here, I think to myself , god what do i do, what do i say?? tell him you still love him oh my god no, tell him you're married, WHAT NO ? okay but what if he's married ? AHHH why is this happening to me? 

“Hi”, he said, i forgot how to respond for a moment, and then he smiled again “what's going on in your spiral, right now”, “You”,i say without thinking “not in a creepy way tho”, he laughs, “how are you ?”,  “I’m good, though the spiral hasn't left me, which I guess is pretty evident, but I'm getting better. Still can’t kiss someone without freaking out tho, what about you ?How are you? How's Noah?”,  “He's good, he has grown up to be a good guy, although I still have my doubts” I laughed, “So what are you doing here ?”, “Oh nothing just missed home, i guess”. This was followed by a minute of awkward silence and then he said  “It was great to meet you again, but I guess I should get going”, ”Yeah I should too”. 

 Before going we both looked at each other with this longing gaze, his dark brown eyes were more alluring than ever, I tried not to succumb to the crazy entropy of this thing between us and then finally,  he said “goodbye, aza”, I smiled “Goodbye, Davis”and he was gone. Again.  

As for my life, I wasn't lying when I said I'm getting better, I still haven”t had c. diff. and  honestly i'm not as fearful as i was anymore. I now teach biology in a university, not far from home. My mom has retired, and I really really hope her baking days do too, ever since she has stopped working, she keeps making me cookies and I just don't have the heart to tell her how terrible they are. As for Daisy, she's now a successful writer and still my best friend. She got engaged to Mychal last summer and I know I'm not the only one surprised by the fact that she said yes.

I still haven't been able to be in a long term relationship but I think I can live with it. I love my job, my friends and my family, and that’s all I need. 

I went home and looked up davis’s blog, i realized i hadn't checked it in a long time 

 “Now I will believe that there are unicorns.”

                                                                                    ― William Shakespeare ,The Tempest

I met her today, after 25 years. They keep saying that you'll always remember the first person you love, but I don't think that the word ‘remember’ captures how you feel at the moment. I felt something that could never be put into words. I'm in a reverie that I do not want to come out of. If only, we’d gotten more time, if only. 

All of a sudden my phone buzzed. 

Daisy : Yo holmesy, we found the old canoe and Mychal fixed it up, you up for a ride to pirate’s island ?

Me : Be there in 5. 

In a few minutes, it was just me and Daisy, floating through the still river. The boat was big enough for us to lie down, and so we did. We looked at the trees that leaned over the water in search of more sunlight. It was as if nothing had changed in these 25 years.

I told her about my short interaction with Davis and what he wrote. 

I told her how much i wanted to go to columbia, and how much i wanted to be with him, but i couldn't, i couldn't just leave indianapolis, i couldn't just leave mom.

All Daisy said was , ”break hearts not promises, holmesly.”

 We passed under a dead , leafless tree and I looked up through its branches which intersected the blue sky into all kinds of irregular polygons, and sang “You're. The one. You're the one that I choose. The one I'll never lose. You're my forever. My stars. My sky. My air. It's you. 

As I sang, I realized that in the course of time, I had become the author, and I wasn't just pretending anymore.I realized that Spirals grow infinitely small the farther you follow them inward, but they also grow infinitely large the farther you follow them out.

I had stopped looking for the turtle at the bottom because I finally knew, that It’s turtles all the way fucking down. 

[livsoulsecrets]

I keep wondering if any poor soul at the docks witnessed Kaz meeting Inej’s parents and tried to tell people he had seen the bastard of the barrel desperately fixing his tie, gloveless, as he almost lost it over meeting The Wraith’s parents, like imagine trying to get someone to believe in THAT

[buffonia]

“Kaz leaned back. “What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?” “Knife to the throat?” asked Inej. “Gun to the back?” said Jesper. “Poison in his cup?” suggested Nina. “You’re all horrible,” said Matthias.”