@storyteller-prince : "Happy birthday, oji-tan!" Cheka ran over and hugged his uncle as best as he could. After he was done with his hug, he glanced up at him. "I'm sorry, oji-tan, that I didn't get anything for you right now but.." he seemed determined, "if you want anything, tell me! i'll get it for you!" Honestly, he just wanted his uncle to be happy.
birthdays were peculiar holidays to him their purpose being to celebrate one’s birth -- maybe it was no secret of how he feels ; the abhorrence of second born scarring him since he could remember and begin comprehending what the difference between acknowledgment and neglect were. remembering himself finally comprehending the immovable weight from his head and shoulders , the pit in his stomach and how he becomes void of all emotion as it grows. as it aches and sting , sending ripples of heat up his abdomen. how almost all good memories just seem to fade from an existence leaving him caged and chained to pits of melancholia he never seems able to shake. leona offered no signs of irritability , no signs of annoyance , no signs of discomfort or a need to recoil. all he did was downcast his sights onto his nephew , the next in line for the throne , and stare almost emptily with barred pupils.
it was not as if he hated his birthdays. far from it actually ; he likes the attention , whatever little he can get he never could before. it was an easier pill to swallow whenever he celebrated it at the night raven college away from his family ; away from any triggers that leave a bitter , acidic taste in his mouth refusing to even spare his own servants a glance in spite of perhaps knowing he was only digging himself in deeper. and even now he feels this sensation in spite of its shallowness. he never looked away from cheka as the little kitten hugged him -- hugged him as tight as he could as if leona would slip away if he didn’t. it was not off the table , that is , that maybe leona was aware of how much cheka looked up to him , of how much hurt he might have felt with his elusive uncle that he never seems to stop adoring.
all of which sometimes leaves a sort of guilty pang in his chest , and such guilty pangs he cursed as well as scoffed at with indefinite disgust. a disgust that was weak , choked and acidic , stinging the stomach and the eyes as he feels himself suddenly wishing to drift into sleep. “ ...maybe someday we can laugh together , ” cautiously he spoke , as if he was fearful , as if he felt like he was deluding himself , “ you don’t have to get me anything , ” -- he wanted that crown , but -- “ i don’t know what you could do for me , so just do whatever you think is best , ehn? surprise your oji-tan. ” careful now , before it all starts crumbling ( before if there ever is a day cheka would regret it all ) . leona breathed softly , deeply , letting the crisp cooler air of the savanna fill his lungs and mellow his muscles. his hands faintly quake as they relax on cheka’s head , caressing and patting the child’s head with a tenderness that takes a toll on his fatigue -- “ you’re a smart child after all , someday you won’t have to worry about such trivial things. ”