a short personal essay on leather and becoming

ellievsbear
The Stonewall Inn

Andulka
NASA

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#extradirty
official daine visual archive

bliss lane

Kiana Khansmith
occasionally subtle
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
The Bowery Presents

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sheepfilms

Discoholic 🪩

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Claire Keane

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@skinhead-thirst
a short personal essay on leather and becoming
First try at a internally spiked thigh strap
this broke containment on instagram but i’m glad people are so stoked about leather history & grateful for @tslurcollective for all the work that went into this
One of my hottest transfeminist takes that I have is regarding drag and ballroom actually. Read the whole thing in depth instead of skimming it then getting mad at me.
I think that the US transfemme desire to disown drag/ballroom is a symptom of both white culture’s destruction of ancestral ties and the importance of cultural continuity, and of the predominantly white ignorance of it as a gentrified Black art form similar to how whites treat other Black art. They want a destruction of it because they see the effects and results of the gentrified version and assume that’s all there is/was.
In particular it’s frustrating because while some drag queens are cis, a lot are trans women, non-binary, or otherwise transmisogynized and drag/ballroom and the tipping culture associated with it existed in part because the transmisogynized are so fucking unemployable and it provided/s a method beyond mutual aid for the redistribution of money, through the labor of performance.
In relation to trans women, I view drag queens as a pathway to transness similar to crossdressers, femboys, (unfortunately) sissies, and similar - where although the perception of them currently may cause harm to the perception of trans women at large due to the ways they compromise with predominantly white cishetero society to allow transfemmes to explore their gender, they are, in fact, still functionally people within the spectrum of transfemininity even if they haven’t fully accepted their gender expansiveness for themselves. Harm they cause to the perception of transfemmes does not lessen them from that societal assignment, any less than we can say Caitlyn Jenner, Blair White, or Kelly Cadigan are less trans women because of the harm they’ve done to the perception of trans women. They are all, in effect, varying levels of transmisogynized whether they realize it or not.
When I was in DC I knew a lot of drag kings/queens and literally 95% of them are trans and either came to drag/ballroom as a way to explore their gender through art and/or make money bc poor, or started it and it was a gateway to unlocking their gender. Not counting the cis performers elevated by stuff like RuPaul, who is explicitly transphobic, I think I can count on my hands how many cis performers I’ve met. Hell, even with RuPaul shit a number of drag artists who have been on his shows later come out as trans (such as Bosco, who I literally grew up with), in part because they suppressed their transness publicly to maintain their career until they reached a point the blowback of coming out wound impact them less. Pulling a F1NNSTER to keep cash flowing for survival, if you will.
Iunno like. The earliest Balls we have records of were literally 1880-90s, predominantly Black (the oldest drag/ballroom performer we have records of was a Black trans woman from DC), and was one of the only safe places for trans people to exist as themselves. So I find the idea of writing it off due to a much more recent gentrification and commercialization of it as ignorant as how people often treat other demonizes or commercialized Black art.
“I just don’t like the spectacle it makes of transness and harm it causes-“
Baby all Blackness is spectacle to crackers and An Amount of modern drag is white people doing minstrelsy of all Black women - not in the sense of gender at all but in the sense of race.
Like. A lot of Black culture in the US specifically is Big and Loud *because* of the repression of it we’ve faced and the force towards respectability politics, which has echoed to queer culture because queer culture in the US is made vast majority from Black culture. Our existence is a spectacle so why not make a show out of why they hate us and try to erase us so that they can’t get rid of even more.
Hating “the spectacle” of an actual performance art form is solidly rooted in white supremacy and white cultural notions of propriety/respectability. Many aspects of “spectacle” seen in drag are directly taken from Ballroom or adapted from it/vogueing.
In summary: traditions are meant to change with situational, cultural, and environmental need but still be sustained as part of a culture. Gentrification is a poison to this that makes it harder for those the culture belongs to to practice it as it should. White ancestral shame is a poison that makes them think they should nuke everything historic/cultural that makes them uncomfortable regardless of whether it’s theirs or whether it’s something they stole and gentrified. Also yeag like,,, it’s a job/gig income predominantly for societal “undesirables” to make money when they’re under/unemployed due to marginalization. And it’s also been gentrified to *gestures at RuPaul, et al.*
No matter what you think about drag or ballroom, poor predominantly racialized trans folks still gon be doing it because it is part of our culture no matter what tv shows and big names and people who have only seen those do to it, and it’s always going to be seen as one of the “disreputable” pathways to transness that makes other trans people look down on them because of the complicated ties to transmisogyny, because until someone publicly says the words “Im also a trans woman”, WE also view them as a personification of what we fear the world sees us as—a man in a dress—rather than an egg finding their way to gender in a way we deem unacceptable because it doesn’t align with how we think it “should” be done.
And I think that’s on us honestly, not on them. If we say it can take as long or as quickly and as easily or messily for someone to sort out their gender as needed, this also has to be extended to the transmisogynized we view as “disreputable” regardless of if/when they reach a conclusion we deem acceptable or whether they die in the shell, never able to remove their masks fully.
Aight yall gon head and eviscerate me now
Also as a clarification, I am not saying that you, personally, must enjoy/like/do drag or ballroom. Im saying that drag, crossies, sissies, femboys, etc. are all transmisogyny paradoxes because of the way they interface gender exploration with surviving doing so in a transmisogynistic system by compromising for safety or a degree of acceptance within spaces they’ve found accept it.
Like, as an example, I *hate* sissies because of the racism endemic to sissy culture, but I still recognize they’re transmisogynized regardless of the harm they do or the disgust I feel towards them.
I also had someone comment on it as a facet of US cultural imperialism, of which I do want to note - drag/ballroom based on Black origins was spreading outside the US back in the 1800s/early 1900s too, there’s photos from other countries of balls explicitly influenced by Black Balls mainly started by Black folks in said countries, an example being early 1900s photos from France of both transmasculine and transfeminine Black people. While modern gentrified drag is 100% exported as part of US cultural imperialism, its original spreads outside of the US were via Black diaspora in-culture. I honestly couldn’t tell you definitively where it stuck and where it didn’t from that original wave, but it’s important to know it existed that way.
I have some physical books on this I might see if I can add to the archive tbh, if I can I’ll reblog this again with links.
Girl do you have any idea how many white transfemmes got their starts as trans women through sissy kink and some *still* claim it even after years of hormones and multiple surgeries, not just for SW reasons either. Shit, a couple of the most prominent white dolls in DC still actively identify as sissies.
Is it uncomfy as hell to know this along with the horrific racism levels innate to sissy shit? Yup! Do a significant amount of trans women still start out as sissies? Sure do!
I need yall to sit and understand im talking about the *material realities* of how the transmisogynized are treated by society, not whether it makes us comfortable or happy to fucking know it. Your personal disgust or uncomfortability with being even peripherally associated with them because of them coming across their gender in a “disreputable” way does not change whether they are transmisogynized or not.
“They can take it off while we can’t! They’re all just men!” Ok so are boymoders not transmisogynized? Are those fully in the closet not transmisogynized? Are the very societal forces that drive them to access any hint of transfemininity they can through any method they can—whether it’s playing a girl in a video game, drag, sissification, crossdressing, or becoming a femboy—not intrinsic proof of their transmisigynization BECAUSE they feel they cannot directly access that transfemininity? Because I thought we had arrived at the conclusion that transmisogynization occurs even before someone comes fully and openly out as some type of transfemme, before they say the words “I am a trans woman”, when or *if* they ever publicly do.
We spend AGES looking at people, dead or alive, and going “oh, that’s a transfemme who hasn’t gotten/didn’t get to come out as one” - We are extremely hypocritical in how we allow or disallow transmisogynized people access to transfemininity based on how we feel they reflect on us as a community. Shit, Kurt Kobain was “just” a crossdresser—and a lot of the girls HATE interacting with crossies personally—but half of the dolls on this site (rightly) claim her as a transfemme who didn’t get to come out before she died. She’s provided that access because she makes us “look good”, “despite” being a crossdresser. In this way, we treat respectability as the bar by which we determine whether we let the “disreputable” transmisogynized be recognized for what they are or not.
Do they experience the full effects of transmisogynization full time? Of course not. But transmisogynization is a spectrum, as we’ve discussed in whether eggs/closeted girls are transmisogynized prior to coming out. The “disreputable” transmisogynized often (though not always) exist in life situations where they cannot safely access transfemininity through other methods or full time, so they do not suffer the same levels of constant transmisogyny as trans women do, but to pretend they aren’t transmisogynized at all flies directly in the face of our own theories and is supported solely by politics of disgust.
Im not saying you have to go out and adopt a sissy or some shit, but we HAVE to acknowledge this shit and incorporate it into our work if we want to have theory accurate to material reality and not just incorporating transmisogyny as a policy within transfeminism.
the enlightened pervert can look beyond kink to find meaning. and then get horny about the meaning instead.
Some of the edgiest queers in the world who constantly talk about romanticizing cannibalism and gore is punk or whatever will turn into the literal pope when confronted with anything realistic having to do with sex like im sorry but people fuck in the park at night sometimes always have and always will and you’re going to have to go about your life without advocating for them to be skinned alive in Alcatraz
And— dare I point out the obvious— the policing of these public areas historically was and still is a huge element of police brutality and discrimination against gay people. Undercover cops frequently patrol areas that are known cruising spots and initiate with men so they can make an arrest when the guy reciprocates. They will also arrest men who are seen looking at each other over the urinals in these spots. Or for peeing while wearing a rainbow wristband.
Federal law enforcement turned a person they arrested in the transit hub directly over to ICE.
If you are going to be squeamish about these facts of public life then you should really be aware of how at odds that is with your “punk” “be gay do crime” aesthetics and how your fears are directly implicated in fascist policing of our bodies
BOOT BOOT BOOT
boy.radio for giddy up cowboys (x)
Today we remember the 49 lives lost and countless others forever changed on June 12, 2016, at Pulse nightclub in Orlando. What was meant to be a night of joy, music, and pride became one of unimaginable tragedy.
We honor the memory of those we lost—most of them young, queer, and Latinx—and we stand with the survivors, the families, and the community still healing.
Let this day be a reminder: queer joy is powerful, queer spaces are sacred, and love must always outshine hate.
leatherfolk mention elated me!! have you read Susan Stryker’s “Dungeon Intimacies: The Poetics of Transsexual Sadomasochism”??
Omg hi yes! My favorite segment:
[ A work by the avant-garde genderqueer performance group Antony and the Johnsons comes to mind, “The Cripple and the Starfish’.” I have it on my iPod, and Ian and I share an earbud apiece to listen to Antony, in the role of the titular cripple, sing of a sadomasochistic love:
It’s true I always wanted love to be hurtful
And it’s true I always wanted love to be filled with pain and bruises...
And there’s no rhyme or reason, I’m changing like the seasons
Watch! I’ll even cut off my finger
It will grow back like a Starfish!
I am very happy, so please hit me
I am very very happy, so come on hurt me
I’ll grow back like a Starfish
I am moved, from my post-operative transsexual perspective, by the singer’s plaintive association of amputation with the yearning for a transformation of affect. In the song, the (fantasy of the) self-inflicted bodily wound functions to create a space of subjective fulfillment. The empty space of the missing digit is produced, through an act of evacuation, as a space of regeneration. That space, being void and not filled, allows for the movement of desire into it. It is thus not memberlessness itself that is desired, but the subjective experience of transformative growth in which absence becomes the space of possibility.
In that the amputation of the member produces a space of actualization, it functions as chora – an ancient Greek concept with the double meaning of both an enclosed space and the act of enclosing, which figured prominently in Plato’s cosmogony and which has become a contested site in feminist poststructuralist reworkings of the western philosophical tradition. In Plato’s Timaeus, the chora is as his phallocentric philosophy imagines the womb to be, a passive vessel for the active male elements from which the world is formed. Luce Irigary, Julia Kristeva, Elizabeth Grosz and others have emphasized the active function of enclosing, holding and containing to assert the positive contribution of the chora in the process of generation as a space generative of movement that spills forth from containment.
From my forward-facing perspective I look back on my body as a psychically bounded space or container that becomes energetically open through the break of its surface – a rupture experienced as interior movement, a movement that becomes generative as it encloses and invests in a new space, through a perpetually reiterative process of growing new boundaries and shedding abandoned materialities: a mobile, membranous, temporally fleeting and provisional sense of enfolding and enclosure. This is the utopian space of my ongoing poesis. ]
Susan Stryker, “Dungeon Intimacies: The Poetics of Transsexual Sadomasochism” (2008)
Any queer and leather culture media recs?
you need to be more specific. books? films? fiction? non-fiction? p*rn mags?
i'm staring at my bookshelf right now...
slapping leather by ford & scofield is a wonderful historical archive of queer and gay rodeo culture. not exactly capitol-L Leather, but (imo) tangentially related.
leatherfolk - radical sex, people, politics and practice by mark thompson is harder to come by but is an absolute must-read for the context of our leather culture and the intersectionality throughout, largely thru anecdotal accounts.
i'd already recommended in a past post the leatherboy's handbook (3rd edition) by vince andrews, and while focused primarily on leatherboys, it provides a ton of historical context and guidance for old guard protocols that a lot of us still use. (it does, however, defend the use of "leatherboy" as non-gendered and a role - just like how anyone can call themselves "daddy.")
all of those are non-fiction books focused on the culture of queer-ness and leather.
This year we've had Pillion (to a degree), Luke Evan's (his met gala outfit), and Levi's pride collection (and more) all pulling from and aesthetic-izing Leather culture and I am feeling a Type of Way About It
I really hate the way corporations and others are trying to capitalize on Leather culture for shock value and attempting to appear subversive, while doing little or nothing to help Leatherfolk or the advancement of sexual freedom and LGBT+ rights
There's a creator on TikTok that reviews pride collections every year, I generally enjoy his content (so this isn't meant to be a dig at him). He was reviewing the Levi Pride collection and made the comment "I would wear this to 'The Eagle' and if you don't know what that is, don't worry about it". Which. Idk! It rubbed me the wrong way. It just feels like Leather is being forcibly cracked open to the outside world by vanilla people who want to take the visuals to be the next trendy cool thing, and discard the history and community that comes with it. I feel like I'm watching what happened to Goth and Punk as subcultures all over again
Photo by Rubert Pruzan in Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice
Slowly but surely making my way through *Leatherfolk*. It feels like sitting with Ancestors of the soul, and it's a blessing to sit at their feet and listen to what they have to say.
One phrase, used by multiple authors in the book, really resonated with me.
Queers among queers.
On so many levels, that's what I, and so many of us are. Trans, disabled, mad, intersectional, LEATHER.
BloodSisters: Leather, Dykes, and Sadomasochism, Michelle Handelman (1995)