The reason “men” hate it when you aren’t empty headed is because the men in question are not looking for a girl, they’re looking for a sex toy.
Of course, that’s not always a bad thing, some girls are into that. But you clearly aren’t looking for that type of relationship and it is bad of them to expect you to be a dimwit just because they’re looking for a barely cognisant doll to stroke their shit to.
Not that there is a single solution or that it is solely your responsibility to solve the matter but if you place yourself in environments where the expected interactions are those which showcase your personality first and your appearance second (this is possible in sexual spaces, but admittedly more difficult) you will probably find yourself being accosted by fewer horny men who are used to (and are expecting to be) scrolling through porn featuring women who are more primarily sexual objects than individuals with thoughts and feelings.
this taught me what cognisant means