This pride month, i just want to give a shout out to my fellow lgbtq+ people who were raised in a religious and/or homophobic environment.
Who were told, from Day 1, that there was something inherently shameful and sinful about liking someone of the same gender or not feeling like the gender you were assigned at birth (or whatever your experience has been).
Who were probably lgbt+ phobic themselves at some point and had to unlearn the prejudices that their family taught them.
Who had to come to terms with their sexuality and/or gender identity without support from the people who were around them the most.
Who began to question their religion, something that may have been a fundamental part of their identity since birth, because of the way it looked down on people like them.
Who may have ultimately decided that their religion had a lot of issues. And maybe they still believe in it to some extent. But for the most part, they’ve cast religion aside because it makes them feel the most like themselves. And they can’t tell their family, because then they would ask why, and that’s not something they’re able to explain right now. So they keep pretending and participating while religion is pushed upon them daily.
Or, alternatively, who still believe in their religion. Who still see it as a fundamental part of their identity, but so is being who they are and expressing their sexuality and/or gender, and they spend every day trying to reconcile the two because both are important to them and they are valid.
Who, if they still live at home, spend every day in fear. Fear because of the knowledge that the people who have always said they love them more than anything would look at them entirely differently if they ever came out. In some cases, fear that coming out would lead to punishment, being kicked out of their house, or worse.
Or, maybe they have come out and are living with the consequences. Maybe one of the things I listed above has happened. Maybe their family is trying to be supportive but is confused, and they’re trying to help their family understand and unlearn ignorance so they can finally feel safe and accepted.
Who have to deal with all of this, and many more parts of the experience that I didn’t even go into, while figuring out their identity and how they want to express it which is challenging enough on its own. Who may experience all of this while also facing bigotry on another front, whether it’s racism, sexism, ableism,body shaming, etc.
You are all incredibly valid and loved. If not by your family, then by me, and so many others in the community. Pride month is for you as much as anyone else, whether you can celebrate openly in your home or not. And whatever your relationship with religion is, it is valid and it is right as long as it’s right for you. Keep your head up, and if you ever need anyone to talk to who relates to your experiences, I’m here.
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