@kataclysmically-me @octossassin @spooky-pens @peppermintleafknight @usagi-buns @vile-bile @followingfollowerofothers @in-d-cent-smuts @shmooj @gdjrif @niionlights-blog @sestra-anurasia @silver---fox
ok

ellievsbear
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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official daine visual archive

bliss lane

Kiana Khansmith
occasionally subtle
Mike Driver

blake kathryn
almost home

Jimmy Eat World

PR's Tumblrdome
macklin celebrini has autism
Game of Thrones Daily
d e v o n
cherry valley forever
tumblr dot com
Cosimo Galluzzi
untitled
KIROKAZE
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@skullabee
@kataclysmically-me @octossassin @spooky-pens @peppermintleafknight @usagi-buns @vile-bile @followingfollowerofothers @in-d-cent-smuts @shmooj @gdjrif @niionlights-blog @sestra-anurasia @silver---fox
ok
OMG! 😂
The plane while I suck his dick in the bathroom:
STOP Asgdhdkkskfkff
As a pilot I am ashamed, this is disgusting and unethical. I can not BELIEVE that you would do such a sinful thing as to perform oral pleasure on a pilot, during flight, in the bathroom when the cockpit is RIGHT THERE. it’s literally a COCKpit. It’s IN THE NAME
delivery man: delivery for…Sacred Mistress Of Dark Spirits And All That Is Unholy?
me: (standing under my ebony Victorian doorway, stroking a large raven in my arms) oh cool my Pillow Pet. where do i sign
homophobes are not allowed to use computers because the inventor of the computer was gay
People think this is just a joke but Alan Turing was the inventor of the computer and his sexuality was illegal in his time (which was not even 100 years ago) and he was arrested. They put him on drugs that destroyed his genius brain and committed suicide a year after being covicted. He was gay and a war hero as well. He helped to break enigma which was a German code that they put all their messages through. He shorted WWII by two years and saved so many lives in the process.
Friendly reminder that if not for Alan Turing you wouldn’t be reading this post and we might be ruled by the nazis
The Alan Turing statue on my campus
wait fuck this is soooooo important always reblog
When you work at Lush and customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese
this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you
Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?
who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese
who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese
TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS
TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!
London’s Metropolitan Police believes that its artificial intelligence software will be up to the task of detecting images of child abuse in the next “two to three years.” But, in its current state, the system can’t tell the difference between a photo of a desert and a photo of a naked body.
This just seemed appropriate today.
oh please please PLEASE let Tumblr flag this post
FUCK YES WE DID IT FOLKS
them
@mote-of-ash
@sapphism-and-nihilism
met a very confused bee who thought my pants were a flower
SOUND ON
aw confused bee sounds like a chicken XD
It is a chicken
yes
i hate when customers at work hand me a 100 dollar bill and then scoff when i check the watermark. like, lady, i will break out the counterfeit pen. i’ll draw your god damn portrait over benjamin franklin’s before i make a ruling. i’ll get a second opinion from a coworker on the opposite side of the store. i’ll call the mint like, “heyy…it’s daniel…you guys print any hundreds lately? i got a lady here with a hundred, just making sure it’s one of yours…haha cool just checking. so how are the wife and kids?” the people that make a fuss are always like, obviously rich too and you know that’s why they have a problem. like the nerve of me to doubt a rich person’s money. how dare i lump them in with a normal person with a hundred dollar bill. eventually one of them is going to let it slip. i’ll take the bill from them and go to hold it up to the light or feel it between my fingers or something and they’ll laugh and go, “oh, no, no no no i’m wealthy.”
i had a co-worker catch a counterfeiter. back then we all had “truth teller” pens. and the rule was “anything over a ten gets checked if you’re not comfortable with it” but not everyone did it. but this girl was hard core about her pen. especially if she got a bad feeling from a customer. girlfriend had TWO truth teller pens in case one gave a false positive.
this couple come through her line with a lot of stuff and they acting like they are in a hurry. this was the wrong thing to say to this girl. you say that to her and she goes slower cause it freaks her out.
she finally gets to the end and the guy hands her a bunch of 20′s. first she straightened them out and counted them, and then she took her pen out. when i used it i made a little flower so that i would know that i did it. she made a swirly. the first swirly came back black, the second swirly came back black. she got out the SECOND truth teller pen and scribbled a like down the center of the bills…. black as coal.
she was freaking out. dude look like he was intense. she very politely asked if he had another form of payment as she would not be able to accept his money. “WHY NOT?!”
*gulp*
“cause it’s not real, sir.”
“MONEY IS FUCKING REAL! YOU BETTER GET MANAGEMENT OVER HERE! MY MONEY IS AS GOOD AS ANYONE ELSE!!”
she very quickly walked over to the phone and paged, and her voice, was so tinged with panic that everyone, even CUSTOMERS stopped dead in their tracks and listened to the page.
you’d never seen a page answered so quickly. it was prolly ringing before she put the phone back on the receiver. “what’s wrong? what’s going on? are you in danger? are you okay?”
and she told them that no, she wasn’t okay,, her customer was screaming and cursing at her and his money wasn’t real and she had no idea what to do now, this wasn’t covered in the CBL’s!
this got manangement on their feet. “stay call, take a deep breath, we’ll be there in 5 seconds with back up. it’s going to be okay. just breathe.”
which is easier said than done with a man that weighs 150 lbs more than you is screaming his ever loving head off. even the retiree door greeter came over and stood by her just as a show of solidarity, she couldn’t really have done anything, but she was a witness, and sometimes that’s enough to get people to back down.
it must have felt like a hour later, but it was about 2-3 minutes before the store managers came walking down the aisle with the popo trailing behind them. the cops were soooooo happy to see him.
one member of management took over the register as the other led the cashier off to sit and collect herself, while the cops talked to the guy and eventually arrested both the guy and the girl. (apparently they’d been looking for them)
management was so fucking happy that she caught him because he had like 300 dollars in funny money and she caught him dead to rights. they calmed her down, thanked her profusely, gave her the rest of the day off with pay, and called her bf or mother or someone to get her home, because she was shaking like a leaf and they didn’t want to her to get hurt on her way home.
So yes, i will use my pen when i have too. i’ll hold them fuckers up to the light to make sure that the right pressie is in the corner pocket.
don’t fuck with the money honey it just don’t pay.
Also, always check the watermark. Some counterfitters have been doing things like washing out ones and fives and reprinting them with twenties and hundreds so they pass the pen check.
Yeah we’ve gotten rid of the pen at our work so we have to check in other ways. You have to hold the bill up to the light and see if you see THE ONE WHO IS PRINTED ON THE BILL—there has been cases of seeing Abraham instead of Ben on 100s—in the right hand corner. Then make sure the number shimmers in a good way and isn’t just a solid shimmering color. Unfortunately really old bills you can’t do this—Fret not there is another way. Run your finger nail on the clothes of the dude on the bill. If it’s real you should feel ridges.
Rations for various RPG Races
[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]
Universal:
Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.
Discussion thread here.
Dwarf:
Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.
Discussion thread here.
Elf:
Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Halfling:
From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.
Discussion thread here.
Half-Orc:
Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread “black strap”, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Orc:
Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Gnome:
Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Lizardfolk:
Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow:
From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow will also eat A Fucking Rock if it’s goth enough
#this rules to such a ridiculous degree im aghast
you know what im gonna reblog this to my main as well as my aesthetic blog because this post kicked my ass
Our cat had all four roommates feeding him each day because he acted like he was starving and we didn’t know that the other roommate already fed him. This was our solution, hopefully he will slim down a bit.
Super Smash Bros moves performed by Marvel stuntmen
Smile Bomb
Icarly was fucking terrifying
Sam knocked out a female heavy weight wrestler in one move, after directly asking her “Hey I’m pissed wanna throw down” and getting consent. She was 100% prepared for combat at that moment.
Freddy Hacked into a military computer, made a youtube video that could permanently damage your eyes, and also turned a toy gun into a functional laser gun.
Spencer had the gift of pyrokinesis which went off at random and this was treated as only a medium inconvenience.
Carly was able to manipulate all 3 of these people, one of them being her legal guardian. Sam and Freddy were said to be able to argue indefinitely, Sam even getting into a fight with her mom for so long the therapist who forced them into conversation nearly went insane.
Yet Carly could just say “Hey guys shut up” and they would stop talking right away.
Didn’t they have a rival who was pretty much just a straight up supervillain?
Neville has, on multiple occasions, used legal loopholes as well as lots of money to endanger and inconvenience the main characters. In short, he is literally indistinguishable from Lex Luthor