Skull Cage Like a Prison

This is my poker face, Mister Feel Nothing. Here is my drug diary... everything I can't express to anyone remotely close to me.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

It's been a while since I've posted. I wish I could say everything was better, but it's much worse. I don't know much longer I can do this.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

For Ronaldo

I have a friend who is impeccable even when he’s an asshole. I have a friend who deserves so much more than he ever takes. I have a friend who sees fault in himself where others see perfection. You truly deserve greatness.

Thank you for calling me your best friend.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

How'd everything change so quickly? I miss you.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

I’m trying to wean myself off of such high doses of oxycodone. It’s so hard to spend fifty bucks just to feel okay… just to feel anything at all.

But on the contrary, it’s so easy.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

Funny how quickly $50 can turn into $150.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

I don’t know how to stand alone anymore. My existance is very dependant on others… I’m sorry to everyone for the pressure.

I’ve never been so lonely.

I’m so tired of being lonely. I’m so tired of being depressed.

I gave up my one solitude, my one comfort; drugs… in hope people would notice and want to be around again. I tried so hard.

It didn’t work. Whats the point?

[skullcagelikeaprison]

Apparently my friends are planning an intervention for me... huh.

[darlingimasimmer-deactivated201]

Pills can kill, And pills can heal, Pills can be addicting, And pills can be indifference, Pills can keep us up, Or bring us down, Pills can lock us up, Or set us free. Pills, Are bittersweet

Darling (via darlingimlosingmymind)

[skullcagelikeaprison]

Live fast, die young.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

Don't ask for help if you don't want it.

[mercyforthegreedy]

I don’t know if this is true to you but for me sometimes it gets so bad that anything else say like looking at a bird on an overhead power line seems as great as a Beethoven symphony. then you forget it and you’re back again.

charles bukowski (via mercyforthegreedy)

[skullcagelikeaprison]

I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some blind, random disaster or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He's taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of his death from being a total surprise.

Chuck Palahniuk

[skullcagelikeaprison]

I just want to die.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

The dog bit me again. I promised I wouldn't let it, but when all I can think about is suicide... why not?

[skullcagelikeaprison]

I tried heroin tonight. Cheap. Good. Fucked up.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

I used to find solace in friendship... I don't know who to rely on anymore.

[blackestdespondency]

The obsession with suicide is characteristic of the man who can neither live nor die, and whose attention never swerves from this double impossibility.

Emil Cioran (via blackestdespondency)

[skullcagelikeaprison]

Day two of sobriety... again.

[skullcagelikeaprison]

I don't know when to say when anymore.