Blue Skyes

I'm Lauren Mom Asshole

[respectfulmemes]

[imninm-deactivated20160505]

[meantfortheshore]

[moremetalthanyourmom]

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

[youcangofindatree-deactivated20]

Gotta try it

[clevermanka]

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

[emmagrant01]

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

[mercurialkitty]

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

[songbirde108]

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

[onethingconstant]

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

[naeonnoir]

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

[retroasgardian-deactivated20180]

[spiduhgirl]

It’s called the Murder Strut.

[elegantmess100]

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

[b3gayd0crim3]

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

[daybreak96]

This post went from Scientific to Feminist to Educational to HILARIOUS!

[radiotopia]

#make men get the fuck out of the way 2k17

[angryschnauzer]

I do this now. Stand my ground. Men look flabberghasted that i wont move out of the way. The most annoying thing is when i’m walking along holding Superpups hand (he’s 2.5 years old), and people walk right up to us and expect to go between us… so for me to let go of my toddlers hand for the sake of them. One person i actually had to put my free hand out and onto their chest to block the person to stop before they ploughed into us.

[colachampagnedad]

My gf and I had sex for the first time the other day and I noticed that she has stretch marks on her belly and thighs? I didn't say anything but I find them kind of weird to look out. My other gfs didn't have them so I guess I'm not used to it? Do I tell her I'm not feeling them and suggest how she can get rid of them or not?

[emotiona1shorty]

LMAO

[whoareyouandwhyshouldicare]

[glasss-patron]

God this brings back trauma

[armorbird-archive]

honestly my life rn is basically that gif where the dude is like “OH SHIT!” and the gif starts content aware scaling and then it just stops and goes back to normal and hes like “i’m okay”

[armorbird-archive]

big fucking mood

[w-i-n-t-e-r-]

[freshmoviequotes]

[venus-is-in-bloom]

i enjoy video games because they let me live out my wildest fantasies, like being assigned a task and then completing that task

[supermegafoxyawesomewhat]

This

[missusbotwin-blog]

First Baby Visit Etiquette

A guide for family and friends

1. Wash your hands before approaching the newborn. You are a sniffling heap of death germs.

2. Don’t touch the baby unless specifically invited to do so. Especially not the face. Yes, this includes kissing and holding.

3. Please don’t wear heavy perfumes… New parents love that amazing newborn scent. If the baby smells like a stripper after you left, you’re doing it wrong.

4. If the baby needs feeding, give mommy space to do her boob magic discreetly. No, the fuzzy, hungry baby won’t wait until the end of your super-important story.

5. Bring stuff and better ask beforehand what is needed. And don’t pull that quid pro quo shit like ‘If I bring food, I can hold the baby’. Nobody is entitled to hold the baby beside the parents, period. Again, unless you’re invited to, then knock yourself out. (Don’t bring flowers. This stuff is smelly as hell and/or needs caring… ain’t nobody got time for that. They are well meant and beautiful, but an apothecary run, diapers or nipple cream are more important.)

6. Make it short, make it quiet and tune into the mood. Chances are the new family isn’t down for a big social event, they are probably tired, overwhelmed and glad that the baby is sleeping. So maybe leave dogs or small kids at home, but if in doubt, just ask.

7. Be respectful. Don’t ask the new mommy about her weight or her vagina. If she’s open to discussing her genitals, she will bring it up. Compliments are always a good idea - tell mommy she looks great, she will appreciate it big time.

8. Suck it up and keep your well meant advices. I mean it. New parents have probably heard them all (some of them even contrary) and if they don’t specifically ask, they don’t want to know, at least not for now - again, overwhelmed, tired and not very susceptive.

9. If you take pictures, loose the flash. Be respectful… Mommy and bubs are no zoo animals and if baby is fuzzing, they won’t pose for yet ANOTHER picture.

Every woman is different in that matter, so maybe some women are more relaxed about these issues. In my experience, first time mommies tend to be more sensitive than those who already have kids…

[hangthecode]

[twooforjoy]

ive waited all year to be able to reblog this

[nkim-illustrates]

[dsxsbx]

Emerald Lake

by: Stevin Tuchiwsky

[shittyidea]

50 Shades of Grey narrated by Jar Jar Binks

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

I swear to God I am so tired of this meme. You guys need to leave Wonderwall alone, seriously by now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do

[bon----voyage]

[cred-deactivated20161202]

women grow hair on their boobs and their butts and their legs and their arms and their stomachs and their face and really anywhere their genetics decides to have hair and it is perfectly normal what isnt normal is men who have never touched a razor trying to shame women for not looking like a hairless baby