I feel like you’re almost purposefully misunderstanding what I’m saying. you are putting so many words in my mouth. I never claimed it was a joke, or that it wasn’t serious, there just seems to be a stark difference with how women affected by it talk about it versus how TRAs talk about it. because the way TRAs talk about it IS like its the other woman’s fault for (presumably!) not accepting trans people.
you are reading that I’m saying they should forfeit these rights, I am saying that from my general knowledge regarding how people work, that is just how it works. that’s just how it ends up being. I am saying that when they transition, they should be made aware that they may end up in a situation like this. as it is, transitioning medically can be ridiculously easy some places and I think a lot of people who do it are not nearly aware enough of the reality that awaits. it’s not ‘they should just expect it’ so much as it’s ’they shouldn’t be entering a situation where they’ll consistently face this problem unprepared, they should be given the knowledge and means to prepare.’
I think it’s very much a ‘signing up for something without reading the fine print’; it seems like a great deal and then you get swindled.
but also since transitioning is a choice and they are actively trying to be mistaken for a man, it’s just like… of course it was going to be an issue. It was always going to be an issue, and we have to live in that reality. What course do we have?
I’m sorry you’ve had those experiences. It’s horrible that you’ve been through that, and there is no justification for that. I understand why this issue hits maybe a little too close to home for you, and I’m going to assume that’s part of why you seem to spin my words so negatively.
I don’t find any women “unpleasant” to look at. I just think maybe having the beard I’d imagine a stereotypical brony would have isn’t the best route when you’re in a state where it’s legally obligated to use the women’s facilities. that’s not going to go over well, and for what? to more closely resemble a guy whining on 4chan because women don’t wanna have sex with him? that’s like growing out a moustache just to style it into a classic perv ‘stache. maybe good in theory, but people are gonna give you looks when you walk by an elementary school. I generally don’t advocate for women to have to trim/shave anything, but unfortunately it’d probably be better for her safety if she did trim or shave.
these women who have beards like that, I can only assume, keep the beard because it helps them “pass” as a man. or maybe they have a very cold lower half of their face — I can only speculate, truly.
I’m not advocating for treating TIFs badly nor am I insinuating they are hysterical for having concerns? I mostly just have a problem with the concept of inherently blaming the women who do react badly to TIFs in the bathroom when the real problem is the fact we’re being made to question it at all. I think it’s making it worse for everyone, especially gender non-conforming women. I’m sure it’s always been a problem to some extent at least, but I can’t imagine the constant threat of men trying to worm their way into our spaces has made it better.
TL;DR: when women who aren’t androgynous and are more obviously female decide to medically transition to look “less” female, yes, I think they should be aware of what will happen if other women don’t perceive you as such, it’s such a different ballpark and I can only imagine it’d be quite disorienting to switch from one end to the other. and they do inherently forfeit their ‘right’ to be recognized as one of the herd — if they were fortunate enough to have it, since as you pointed out, not all women have it to begin with.
