Hot-Duck

[attractive-trashcan]

*Bruce walking into the living room*

Bruce: Why did Damian take the batmobile

Tim: He took the batmobile so he coul-

Jason: He's on a date

Bruce: What? With who?

Jason: With Jon

Bruce: Jon?! Kent!

Tim: Yeah,

Bruce: Jonathan Kent?

Tim: Yes, and they are dating

Bruce: Am I the last one to know?

Jason and Tim: Yeah

Jason: and you're supposed to be "the world's best detective,"

Bruce: SHUT it Jason

[attractive-trashcan]

*Batkids sitting on a rooftop exhausted after a fight*

Tim: Can I get some water

*Dick throws Tim his water container*

Tim, drinking: Mmmmmhh, What is this?! it's so refreshing!

Jason:

Dick:

Cas:

Steph:

Damian: tt Drake stop joking, you're never gonna be funny

Tim: I'm not joking! What is it?! It's so refreshing!

Dick: It's water Tim, Water, regular water.....

Tim: Oh.......

Jason: How long has it been since you have had water, and not coffee or energy drinks?!?

Tim: I wanna say six Saturday ago?

Dick: You wanna say? You don't know?

Jason: Six saturdays. Six. SI-

Steph: YOUR guessing! SIX SATURDAY'S AGO?!

Tim: yes?.......

[attractive-trashcan]

Dick: Ahhh, Finally, Halloween is finally over

Jason: Finally? You love halloween Dick

Dick: Loved Halloween Jason, loved

Jason: Loved? Why don't you love it anymore

Dick, deep sight: BECAUSE SOMEBODY DESTROYED MY PUMPKIN!

Tim: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY SORRY!?!?

Dick: MANY! I MADE THAT PUMPKIN WITH BLOOD, SWEET AND TEARS, AND THEN YOU TO DESTROY IT!

Tim: I SLIPPED, IT WAS SLIPPERY

Dick: THERE ARE NO EXCUSES, YOU HAVE RUINED HALLOWEEN!

Jason: If that's what it takes to ruin a holiday for you, then I'ma break your Christmas decorations

Dick: JASON DON'T!

[attractive-trashcan]

It was meant to be a joke, Dick thought it would be funny to make Batman and Robin scarier for Halloween. He wanted the villains to fear and pray for their lives, when they saw the Bat and the Bird. It became a tradition, that on every Halloween the Bats would become scarier.

Lady Gotham loved the idea of her protectors becoming scarier on Halloween. So she decided to add a little thing to the fear factor. Every time it's Halloween, the bats are no longer humans, but something completely different. And after every Halloween the bats become less and less humans. It wasn't a joke anymore.

[attractive-trashcan]

What if Bruce was actually royalty. Bruce hasn't been seen after his parents' death, by both Royals and normal people. Besides gothamites, they aren't snitch and don't know anything about a prince.

But after decades of not being seen (besides in Gotham) he appears at a royal get together with kids. A lot of kids.

Okay but imagine the Royal families not knowing where he is (besides the Queen, because of Alfred) and then he just shows up with kids that can speak every language in the room. AND THEY ARE FOR SURE HIS CHILDREN. Now the question is who is the wife?

What I find the most funny, with this idea is the Royal kids meeting and interacting with the batkids. It would be pure chaos nothing more, just Chaos.

[attractive-trashcan]

*Jason walking by Bruce*

Jason: Btw B You're a grandfather, her name is Lian

Bruce:Mmm.......

*Bruce processing the information*

Bruce: WAIT, WHAT?! JASON!! SHOW ME! DO YOU NEED MONEY!

[attractive-trashcan]

What if Bruce was thrown into an AU where his parents are alive, he has a wife, he's not batman but the JL is still a thing and the batkids don't exist.

Just imagine how furious he would be when he can't find his children, HIS CHILDREN. yes he has his parents back but what good does that do when he can't show them his children. His most valuable think in the entire world is gone, and he is furious about it.

Also just him seeing how shitty Gotham is doing without her Protectors, her Knight.

------------------------------------------------

Cut to Bruce trying to convince the JL to help him get home, cuz he has no Batcave and no armor

Hal: So you're saying that, you, YOU, billionaire Bruce Wayne willingly dresses up as a bat to fight crime at night, in the most dangerous and cursed city in the entire world. Yeah not buying that

Bruce:...

Wife: Brucie baby, are you sure you're okay?

Thomas: Son, I really think you need a hospital

Martha: My poor baby

Bruce: your real name is Hal Jordan, Flash's name is Barry Allen, Superman's name is Clark Kent, Green Arrow is Oliver queen and his wife is the Black Canary, do you want me to go on or are you fools going to help me get home to my kids!

Martha:...

Thomas:...

Wife:....

The entire JL:..

Green Arrow: He just- HOW

Flash: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE?

Bruce: I'M BATMAN!

[attractive-trashcan]

*Dick walking into the library looking at some documents*

Dick: Tim I need your help to check something out.

Tim:...

Dick: Tim?

*Tim asleep on the couch*

Dick: Aw Timmy, you finally fell asleep.

Duke, sitting beside Tim: Yeah he did

Jason: Dick, I nee-

Damian: Whatever Todd t-

Dick: Shush both of you, and look at Timmy!

Jason, confused: Replacement?

Damian, confused: Drake?

Jason: Oh he's, finally sleeping

Damian: tt, it's maybe good to see drake sleeping

*A little while later*

Bruce: Dick did you-

*He spots the boys asleep next to each other*

Alfred: Master Bruce, why don't you take a moment to relax with your children mm?

Bruce: No, this case-

Alfred: Master Bruce

Bruce: I could use some relaxation, and sleep for a bit.

[attractive-trashcan]

*Steph doing the Alexander Hamilton trend*

Steph: Go back to bed it will be alrig-

*Jason appearing of nowhere*

Jason: If you fall out that window, I'm going to laugh my ass off of

Steph: Thanks you Jason, for the concern.

Jason: Why do you look like a founding father?

Steph: Cuz I'm filming a trend

Jason: A trend?

Steph: Yeah the Alexander Hamil-

Jason: DON'T-

Dick: HOW DOES A BASTARD~

Jason: Oh no! he has already started, SAVE YOURSELF!

Steph: Started? What's the matter? It's just Dick singing?

Jason: Let's see how you feel about his " just singing" after two and a half hours!

Steph: He isn't-

Dick: -what's your name, man?~

Steph: OH MY, HE IS!!!

Jason: YES HE IS! NOW MOVE! SO I CAN JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND INTO FREEDOM!!!

[attractive-trashcan]

Tim: Jason would you peel and orange for me?

Jason: Ah not gonna happen, I have seen the meme and I'm your brother, not your Superboyfriend.

Tim: This is not the meme, I'm asking you to peel an orange for me to eat

Jason: Why should I peel an orange for you?

Tim: Because JASON I have TWO BROKEN WRISTS!

Jason: Oh

Tim: OH?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY OH

Jason: Oh as in, oh what a dumb idea to break both wrists.

Tim: DUMB?! I DIDN'T DECIDE TO BREAK BOTH MY WRISTS!!

Jason: Sure you didn't, but either way it was stupid

Tim: STUP- Please Jason, will you peel an orange for me

Jason: Naa, i have better things to do. Good talk though.

*Jason pats Tim on the wrist and walks away, leaving Tim in pain and with an unpeeled orange*

Tim: I HOPE YOU DIE AGAIN JASON!

[attractive-trashcan]

*Jon at the manor, in Damian's room with Damian*

Bruce: I'm so glad, that Damian finally had a friend.

Jason: Pffffft, Yeah "Friend"

Dick: What do you mean by "Friend"?

Jason: I mean, "Friends"

Tim: "Friends"?

Jason: Seriously? None of you know, that they are dating?

Bruce:.....

Dick:.....

Tim:....

Jason: And they call themselves detectives

Bruce: DAMIAN OPEN THE DOOR AND KEEP IT OPEN!!

Dick: My little baby brother, is getting so big.

Tim: KON'S LITTLE BROTHER?!?!

[attractive-trashcan]

*Tim and Duke sitting in the library, when Damian walks in*

Damian: Drake did you take my pencil?

Tim: No? Why?

Damian: Okay, because I can't find it.

*Damian walks out of the library*

Tim, confused: Wait, did he just ask me about his pencil, instead of attacking?

Duke: Yeah, Bruce said that, if Damian could avoid getting into any arguments and or fights for two whole weeks, he could get a new pet.

Tim: Damian gets to choose, any animal?

Duke: No, he gets to choose any pet he wants.

Tim: Hell na, that is not gonna happen on my watch, I will make sure he fails

[attractive-trashcan]

*Tim eating crackers whilst sitting on a rooftop with Jason*

Jason: Give me some of your crackers Tim.

Tim: No! I will not, they are mine.

Jason: Sharing is caring. GIVE me some!

Tim: NO, THEY ARE MINE!

"Jason reaching out to grab ahold of the crackers"

Tim: JASON, STOP IT!!

*The crackers falls out of Tim's hands and down towards the streets*

Tim: NO MY CRACKERS!!!!! JASON DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!

Jason: What I have done, YOU DID THAT TO MY CRACKERS!

Tim: Yk If you want to taste MY cracker that bad, why don't go get them?!

"Tim pushes Jason off the building*

Oracle: TIM DID YOU JUST KILL JASON?!

Tim: No, I just pushed him, gravity is the real murder.

[attractive-trashcan]

*Jason working on his bike, when Tim appears out of nowhere*

Tim: Jason, do you have more toothpaste?

Jason: SHIT!! THE FUCK YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE REPLACEMENT?!

Tim: Taking your toothpaste

Jason: Why?

Tim: Just answer the question Jason. Do you or do you not, have more than the three packs of toothpaste in your apartment?

Jason, confused as hell: I don't have more than three, why?

Tim: Then thanks for wasting my time.

Jason: Are you taking my toothpaste?

Tim: If you try to take them back or try to find out why I need them, I will leak the video of you t-

Jason: OKAY, okay got it, no toothpaste or investigation.

Tim: Good, btw your bike is about to fall.

*Jason looks at his bike*

Jason: Don't joke about that replacement, you kno-, aaand you're gone. What the hell are you up to?

[attractive-trashcan]

If Damian got a new pet, what do you think he would name it?

We already have:

Titus

Ace

Alfred (The Cat)

Jerry (Turkey)

Bat-Cow

Goliath (Bat-Dragon)

Wiggles (Dragon)

What would he name the next one?

[attractive-trashcan]

*Cas walk into the cave, with a smoothie in hand, and a black Panther by her side*

Bruce: Cas what is that?

Cas: Smoothie

Jason: No, I think he meant the Panther

Cas: Pet.

Bruce: Where did you even get a Panther from?!

Damian: tt, it doesn't matter Father. All that matters is our new Bat-panther.

Bruce: Hmn I didn't say you could keep it.

Jason, ignores Bruce : So what are we gonna name it?

[attractive-trashcan]

Tim: Ha, Jason look I made Damian look like a blobfish!

Jason: But that's just a picture of Dami- AHAHAHAHAH-

*Damian appears behind Tim with his sword*

Damian: Vengeance