How does low self-esteem show up in life?
Let me paint you a picture of examples…..
First, as a little girl getting picked on for her weight who then turns into a teenager that diets excessively, exercises profusely and tries as hard to possible to get skinny.
As a young girl who is taught that being quiet, nice and agreeable is more important than speaking up for your preferences and needs. So you learn to just go along with what others want. Don’t rock the boat.
It looks like being afraid to speak up in class in high school or college for fear of being wrong, of being made fun of, or rejected.
It looks like putting up with poor treatment in relationships. Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, or even physical abuse. And feeling like “Well, maybe I deserve this.”
It looks like having poor boundaries with people. Getting walked on, getting taken advantage of, not feeling empowered to stand up for yourself.
It looks like an inability to ask for more – more money or negotiating for a job. Asking for more of what you need from a partner, a colleague, a friend.
It looks like walking with your head down and saying “I’m sorry” and “excuse me” as if your existence is a burden to other people. You’re always in the way.
It looks like being super thankful, grateful, for just being treated with basic human respect and fairness. As if you should be so honored to be gifted with basic human decency and fair treatment from others.
Apologizing for existing. For being in the way. For taking up space. For being yourself.
It looks like desperately seeking love and validation from others because you feel void of worth inside.
If someone else could just love me then it will take all the pain away – if I’m loved then I matter. I’m worthy.
At one point I started to think – who would miss me if I was gone? I have nothing to offer other people or the world.
That was me for years. Then I started to heal, to find that love within myself – and things started to shift. That broken little girl who believed she was worthless started to have the broken pieces of her little heart put back together again – one piece at a time. And with time, patience, commitment and love, that little girl blossomed into an empowered woman.
