richie, after reading bill’s book about werewolves: why didn’t you make it gay
richie: i said why didn’t you make it gay
bill: i heard you the first time, what you mean why didn’t i make it gay???
richie: dude are you for real
richie: bill didn’t make his werewolf softporn pulp horror book gay
eddie: bill are you for real
bill: i’m begging you??? explain???
richie: didn'tyou say you took inspiration for your monsters from the fucking clown
richie: and this book was inspired by the werewolf we both saw on neibolt
bill: yeah?? your point????
richie: bill what do you think pennyass was trying to say with the werewolf
eddie: wait wait let me get mike
bill: what do you mean??? it was a werewolf. we were eleven. it was scary.
richie: i’m losing my mind??? bill!!
richie: that fucking clown messed up with us like psychologically. the monsters were metaphors!!! you’re a fucking writer, you should know this!!!
eddie: bill didn’t make his werewolf book gay and richie is trying to explain to him why he should’ve
mike: bill you didn’t make it gay????
bill: no???? why should i’ve????
mike: okay. okay. that’s cool.
mike: that’s super cool. you take your time man.
richie: look what you’ve done
bill: can??? someone??? explain???
bill: stan why should i’ve made my werewolf book gay
richie: i can’t fucking believe this
eddie: i wanna get the camera but i don’t wanna live i want to be here when he realizes it
bill: realize fucking what!!!!!!
richie: okay listen man, remember when eddie’s leper was a ploy to get him scared of his own sexuality??
eddie: yeah man it was the 80s it was the AIDS epidemic i was gay and brainwashed by my mom
richie: and remember how bev’s blood represented her fear of becoming a woman in the eyes of her father
eddie: sssh I’ll tell you later
bill: okay so the werewolf thing. was that supposed to represent, like… toxic masculinity???
bev: bill doesn’t know why the fucking clow took the form of a werewolf to scare him and richie
ben: oh. mike are you okay?
richie: what do you think a monster who is by definition an animalistic predator, who can’t control his violent urges, who’s hypermasculine but also associated with female symbolism like the moon and who has a double life, could represent???????
richie: c'mon big bill i know you can do this
bill: i still want to answer toxic masculinity
richie: are you kidding me
richie: okay billiam put on your big boy pants and listen to me: your book sucks because the werewolf was supposed to represent homosexuality
richie: and you didn’t make it gay
richie: DUDE!!! IT WAS FUCKING OBVIOUS!!!
bill: but richie i saw the werewolf too!!
bill: does that mean i’m a homophobe???
stan: i’m going to beat you up