The room was cluttered and filled with her bright smile. A pearl smile that just radiated a warmness. Her laughter was like hearing birds sing. It was everything. She was everything. At least she was to me.
I remember when she was still here with me. When she stood here mocking my small room, teasing, and cheerfully playing around. Iris would always be there. Just there, always listening and being optimistic no matter what.
I remember the first time we met. Iris was working, and I was the victim of her first day on the job. Yet, she didn’t waste any time catching me falling for her.
She was a barista, and I was just ordering some coffee. She tripped and next thing I know, I’m covered in the hot brown liquid. She was so terrified and nervous, but I was more focused on how hot the coffee was. We laughed and talked it off.
After that was the happiest year of my life. Not because of anything special, but because I was able to spend it with Iris. Iris who always was my very own rainbow. She was always carefree and cheerful. Something that I wish I was more of.
But now she’s gone. And the room is empty and dark. Not even a shadow dares to enter my room. Her smile I can barely remember. I can hardly feel its warmth anymore. She was everything. Everything to me, but now she’s gone.
All I have to remember her is when we first met. When I was her first victim. When she was serving me a cup of hot coffee. Now I’m back at the coffee shop. With a cup half filled with cold coffee.
I visited her yesterday. She seemed peaceful. She was surrounded by photos of her family. With flowers. And with childhood dolls. I wish she was still here.
She’s been gone for a couple of months now. But I miss her. I miss her smile. I miss her eyes. I miss her laugh. But everyone misses her.
Her family and I still talk. But they seem to have moved on better than me. I want to be angry to hate the fact that they can move on from her so fast and just brush off what happened. But they know better than me how Iris would hate to see us.
But I can’t. No matter what they say. I can’t stop thinking about her. I’ve learned to just accept it and try my best to be at peace.
Still, I wish that it wasn’t her. That I could've been there instead. That I could’ve saved her. That I could’ve told her how much I love her one more time. But instead I’m here. Sitting down. Thinking about Iris. Slowly forgetting my rainbow. Slowly losing her. Slowly losing myself.
Mark stood there holding the door open. “Who are you again?”
His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. The random stranger looked at him with a sheepish grin. “Well you might not know my name. But my name is Aleethia, the great Goddess of Truth, and up until a few days ago that parking lot.”
The stranger raised her hand, pointing towards the new giant parking garage in the distance. “Destroyed the last remnants of my old temple and now I’m kind of homeless. I was wondering if I could maybe stay here?”
She looked at Mark with a simple, prideful expression. Meanwhile, Mark returned the glare with a tired and worn sigh. Why are there so many damn crazy people in this neighborhood? He thought to himself.
Before Mark could say anything, Aleethia took a step back and reacted with a sudden gasp. “I’m not crazy!”
Mark stood there. His eyes squinted. “Hmmm… I never said you were.” The only reaction from the stranger was her intense glare. “Yes you did. At least in your head. I can hear your thoughts.”
He rolled his eyes, while his arms instinctively crossed. “Ok… Well if you can hear my thoughts, what am I thinking right now.”
Mark hummed to himself in amusement. There’s no way she can read my thoughts but if she did she probably wouldn’t like to know that my car is parked in that garage over there.
Aleethia kept her eyes locked on Mark. She exhaled a small breath and simply turned around. I guess she was lying after all.
Aleethia quickly turned around while pointing to the garage. “My home was destroyed! And your car is just parked there!” The stranger fell to the ground as tears rolled down her face.
Mark’s eyes flew down towards Aleethia. His eyes darted back and forth around the front of his porch. She was still on the floor reeling from the revelation.
His face turned to a forced smile as reached towards her. “Geez, I’m sorry please. Umm please don’t cry. Please.” His cheeks were burning as onlookers passed and exchanged cruel and judging looks.
“C’mon why don’t you come inside.” Mark nervously chuckled to himself as his hand gingerly rubbed the back of his neck. He helped Aleethia to her feet and walked her into the home.
His eyes rocked around and scanned the front of the porch, as he quickly slammed the door. His eyes were quickly met with Aleethia once again. Except this time the once distraught stranger was now replaced with a new persona.
Her once red and puffed eyes, were now normal? Her messy hair was made? And her clothes… Mark didn’t get a close look earlier before but he was pretty sure she was wearing a different more worn outfit before.
The stranger looked at him. Her head tilted with a sly smile. “What?” Her hands reached out in a questioning way. “Oh. Yeah it’s a little trick I picked up over the years. Neat, right!”
Mark’s face was pale. His attention and mind were shifting everywhere and flooding with quietly annoying thoughts. Mark broke the silence. “Aleethia, right?” The girl turned around as her eyes moved around the room. She hummed a simple reply to Mark. “Yup.”
His body pivoted as he walked away from the stranger and towards his room. Before completing his journey, he quickly turned his head back to Aleethia. “And how long did you say you need a place?”
She turned to him with a gentle gaze and cleared her throat. “Oh not long. Not that long at all just until I can find a new temple.”
Mark’s shoulders relaxed at the news. The thoughts seemed to quiet down. “Oh and how long would that take?”
Aleethia moved around the room, her eyes shifting around. “Oh ummmmmm… Maybe a year. Maybe a decade. Maybe a century. Who knows?” She replied with a certain nonchalant laugh.
The thoughts all came flooding back into Mark’s mind. Except this time, they were much louder and shocked. Mark’s palm quickly slammed against his face. Great. Just what I needed on a Monday.
// I would like to say I was listening to a song by the same name and wanted to see what I could write with it.
//
“What? What are you doing here, Mina? You’re not supposed to be here.” My chest was heavy. I was out of breath and in a state of surprise. “How did you find me?”
But she just stood there in front of me with her stupid face. “Say something Mina. Anything!” I couldn’t really understand why she was there. Why was she even standing in front of me in the first place?
“Go away. It's my fault that everything went wrong.” The tears rolled down and stung my eyes. “Please Mina say something or just leave.”
“It’s not your fault Jay. It never was.”
“Stop. It is my fault. It’s my fault that they’re gone. That your life was ruined. I did all that.” I tried to move away. My mind was racing, begging me to just run away from the situation. But I was frozen. In fear? In love? In relief? I wasn’t sure what was stopping me from running away again.
“Aren’t you sorry?” I couldn’t believe what she said. My hands flew up in the air before I could even say anything.
“Yes of course, I’m sorry…” before I could finish, she smiled and said, “Then I forgive you.”
I wasn’t expecting to hear that. In fact, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear at all. She was just brushing off everything I did and letting me get away with it. I backed away from her slowly. “Don’t say that. Don’t forgive me!”
I felt out of breath, but I still couldn’t let her forgive me. Allow her to erase everything that I did. “Why do you do that? Why give me another chance to ruin everything?”
My eyes were burning, and my stomach was churning in knots.
“Because I love you, Jay.” Those simple three words. Completely out of the blue. And deeply uncalled for. Words that I simply couldn't account for.
The three words that somehow triggered every emotion in me. I was confused. I didn’t know what to say except, “Because you what?”
I stared at her. With envy. “Why don’t you hate me? Why won’t you berate me? Why do you want to be with me? After everything?”
She looked back at me. With a gentle stare. “Because I’m willing to try. Because I know it wasn’t your fault. Because even in the end you still came back to save me.”
I… I didn’t know what to say. After all, what could I even respond with? What could I say to change her mind? To get her to see that she shouldn’t try.
But if she doesn’t hate me. Then why should I change her? If she’s willing to take me, then why should I cry?
“Are you sure about this?”
“Of course, I’m sure, Jay.” I couldn’t believe her. I felt like I was dreaming. Maybe right now I would just wake up out of bed.
I didn’t really know what to say, but “You’re such a moron.”
“Yeah well let’s be morons together.”
I couldn't lie. I couldn’t hide my laugh. I couldn’t hide my joy or my relief or the pleasure that came. The emotions from knowing that I wasn’t hated or despised. I took a small breath. A breath that felt like everything went away.
“So you think we could work? And here I thought I was being the dumb one.”
“Of course we can work and hey what do you mean by that?”
“Sorry.” My smile was big. It was pretty sheepish and big. But in all, I couldn't avoid. That stupid face that she had.
Though by now. I guess she earned that stupid face. After all, I love that stupid face.
My name is Vince Grant. I am 24 and alone. I have no family. I have no friends. I have nobody. All I have is my job. All I have is this. And yet I find myself wondering why I even volunteered for such an unexciting position in the first place.
I’ve been working on these audio recordings for what seems like the past few days or so. When they first hired me, they told me it would be a simple job. All I had to do was listen to the tapes and write down what was said.
What they didn’t tell me was how damn tedious this all was. I’ve heard every single word in the fucking human vocabulary at least three times this day. And I’m barely done with the first couple of tapes. But who could I blame? I should’ve known that it was too good to be true.
I mean, working from home? With benefits? Hell, I signed up as soon as they told me. And as soon as they hired me, I spent my sign-on bonus almost immediately on some cheap liquor and some “good” times. What I should’ve spent that money on was a better chair.
It’s been almost a month now, and all I’ve got from this damn job is a guarantee of arthritis at some point in my future. But the pay is good. So I'd better stop complaining and just keep working. I mean, it’s better than others can say.
I mean, my friends for one…
Or, well, the friends I had. The last time I saw or heard from them, they were looking down bottles of booze. We were all really struggling to find work. So it was really a miracle that I even found any.
In any case, I haven’t heard from them in some time and I doubt it’s going any better. It makes me wonder where I would be if I hadn’t found this job.
That’s when the horrid realization comes to mind. What in bloody hell am I doing? I just wasted this last hour or so complaining to myself.
The laptop in front of me stared blankly. It was filled with white space. A whiteness that could blind your eyes. Meanwhile, the person in my ears continued to speak. The audio tape did not wait for me to catch up as it continued to ramble on and on.
To be fair, it’s not my fault. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself lately. Or as lately as I often zone out mid-session. Most of these audio tapes are the same boring corporate lingo. They’re often recordings of corporate meetings or random academic interviews. A bunch of fancy words being thrown around all over.
Frankly, I sometimes listen to them when I go to bed. They help fall asleep faster. A couple of words and I'm out. Mentions of depreciation, equity, and some liabilities are a great way to knock yourself out if you ask me.
Anyways it’s probably a sign that I should take a damn break. I can start to feel my ears burning from how long I’ve had these damn headphones on. I yank the worn headphones off my ears. The headphones themselves have seen better days, but they’re all I have to work with. Even then, at least they weren't falling apart like my chair.
I stand up. Slowly, because I don’t want to tumble from the quick movement. After sessions, I’m usually disoriented. I push myself away from the desk as I drop my headphones on it. My body moves heavily across the room as I enter the kitchen.
Then the brilliant thought comes to mind. Maybe a snack could help wake me up. Afterwards, I can get back to work. I do need to get all those tapes done by this Sunday after all. I lean toward the fridge and hold it open. There isn't much inside.
Except for a single slice of pizza. How fucking depressing. Reminds me of the rest of this damn apartment. Empty except for a few pieces of furniture and my work equipment. Well, beggars can’t be choosers.
In any case, I reach for the cold pizza. And I take a quick second to catch my breath.
Crash!
What was that? It sounds like it came from my room. I’m not sure what to expect, but I walk away from the kitchen and drop the pizza slice onto a nearby counter. I slowly open the door to my room.
And I find that it was one of the hinges on my desk breaking. Looks like the hinge made my whole desk collapse on itself. Great. Just what I needed right now. Guess it's a sign that I should get back to working. My head is still pounding, and my eyes are still heavy, but it wasn't like I had much of a choice.
I sit down on my bed and put on the scratchy, annoying headphones once again. I grab my laptop from the broken desk and lean back into the bed. I press play on one of the audio recordings and begin to transcribe once more.
My eyes are starting to feel like rocks dragging me down. My room is starting to fade to black. And now I can’t see anything anymore. But there’s something different. Something off. I open my eyes and look around. It’s nighttime outside, and the damn recording is still going.
But… Now it's saying something different. Is it.. No..
The audio recording chirped while my ears were still burning.
Your name is Vince Grant. You are 24 and alone. You have no family. You have no friends. You have nobody. All you have is this worthless job. All you have is discontent. So why did you volunteer to take this Boring. Unexciting. And Stupid Job?