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@sleightoffeather
[Two images; one of the Huntington Brew & Elixirs logo, and the other of the storefront.]
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[Video of Corbin on stage at the Laughing Jackal, doing a stand up routine. He’s got the same stage presence as he normally does, but he seems a more twitchy than usual, unable to stay still as he paces back and forth. A bubble of laughter from the crowd has just settled down; he leans against the mic stand a little.
“It makes you think, right? Like, the only people who actually make it in this City are just bastards. Like, real motherfuckers, you know? They turn screwing people over into an art form, like they’re aiming to nudge their way into those pretentious art galleries. Move over Mona Lisa, here’s Mona Lisa II. She’s exactly the same only she’s flipping you off and somehow making someone rich and famous in the process.”
Corbin’s tone has gone bitter, but it doesn’t stop the audience from laughing. That’s the nice thing about the Jackal - it’s hard to bomb when everyone’s drinks are spiked with laughter.
“It makes you wonder, like, what’s even the point? You spend your whole life trying to compete at screwing people over against people who’ve been pro their whole lives. Came out with a stamp on their little baby butts declaring them purebred jackass. They’re pedigreed. You can’t compete against that.
“So then the one time you think like, hey, maybe I’ll try changing the rules, do something decent for a change, you get disqualified. Some sorta cosmic ref is just standing there on the sidelines, ready to pull you out of the game. Can’t go helping people. Not allowed. We’re pulling you out.”
Corbin takes a moment to adjust his mic. The crowd’s still chuckling, but the smile’s off of his face.
“I guess it’s not all bad, though. Like the game’s obviously shitty, so it’s not all bad being pulled out. Sorta like being hit with a dodgeball when you’re in elementary school and that’s the only game the coaches ever want you to play. Like yeah, you let your team down, and that motherfucker with eight arms on the other side has one hell of a hook so your shoulder’s gonna smart for a while, but at least you don’t have to worry about dodging anymore.You can just sit on the side and pick your boogers or whatever your priorities are when you’re like, seven.
“Honestly? It’s kind of a relief.”
There’s a moment’s pause, and Corbin’s stage presence is all but gone. It’s just him, standing in the middle of the stage, staring out over the audience. He’s not smiling; he looks tired. He looks like he’s thinking.
Then, just like that, a grin crosses his face again and he makes a confident step forward. “But really, what is the deal with gym coaches anyway-”]
due to reasons i’ve got to cancel all of my upcoming shows from july onward
so that means that if you wanna see my stand up its now limited edition which means its even cooler
come see my last show at the laughing jackal this tuesday at 9:00
93 + 103
are you disillusioned? what with?
yeah i guess. i guess with life in general? really feel like life’s been throwin’ up lots of middle fingers recently lol
what is a lie you regret?
most of my lies have been pretty useful so idk if i regret them even if they eventually bite me in the ass, like they still served a purpose in the moment yknow?
9 and 82 i guess
favorite snack?
i mean ill take whatever i can get but those real juicy caterpillars are pretty good
where is the most unusual place you have fallen asleep at?
uhhh fuck i have definitely lost track but i think once when i was little i wound up sleeping in someone’s hat once
13 17 if not bigger witch
do you think you’re a hero?
no unless were using the term ironically
who keeps you safe when something scratches at your door?
usually the lock on the door or my own ability to haul ass
80, 45
are there any places you avoid? why?
yeah mostly i avoid the places that i think i could get killed cuz i dont wanna get killed
what do you believe most about the world?
that it exists?? lol idk i really dont think much about this kinda stuff
34 (:
do you believe in soul mates?
i dont really think much about it so i guess not
1, 11, 21.
if you could be anything or anyone, who would you be?
an extra in one of the hsm movies
if you were gone, who would miss you? who would be happy?
uhh i guess my sis would miss me. idk who would be happy but im sure theres a few people out there who dont like me
favorite fruit?
i dont usually pick favorite foods but i guess rn im feelin strawberries
42, 105.
what haunts you in your quiet moments?
the fact that they didnt let zac efron sing his own songs in the first high school musical movie even though he’s clearly got the talent
netflix and chill?
okay but only if were using your netflix account cause i dont have one
[its meme time]
okay usually i dont try to air my drama out in the open but shits getting kinda dire so im just gonna throw this out and crowdsource it
anyone have any ideas on how to get out of a deal with a witch
ye’ve got two fists don’t ye
i mean yeah but im pretty sure a single piece of paper could block my fists birds arent really made for punchin
provocateaux replied to your post: okay usually i dont try to air my drama out in the...
Oh, Dear. Have I been making deals in my sleep again?
if you have it hasnt been with me unless ive also been doing some sleep dealings
waxmouth replied to your post: okay usually i dont try to air my drama out in the...
find a bigger witch
looking for: big fuckin witches
must be at least seven feet or dont even bother
okay usually i dont try to air my drama out in the open but shits getting kinda dire so im just gonna throw this out and crowdsource it
anyone have any ideas on how to get out of a deal with a witch
COP: Where were you the night of the murder?
CROW: I was with a group of friends
COP: What would you call that group?
CROW: …I want a lawyer
oof rough set tonight lol
if you were in the audience tonight and can show me your ticket stub ill give you a free ticket to another show where hopefully im not compelled into doing some improv soul searching on stage
