will byers stan first human second
noise dept.
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
macklin celebrini has autism
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
roma★
oozey mess
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Peter Solarz
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
taylor price
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occasionally subtle
izzy's playlists!
$LAYYYTER
Sade Olutola
tannertan36
d e v o n
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
pixel skylines
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@slutgarlicbread
okay unrelated but what was the funniest red flag in ur worst relationship
the whiplash of these notes
Reading the notes like
I feel so sorry for all of you. How are people out here being like this
im getting off the apps 𐔌՞.‸.՞𐦯 network of widening social circles it is
my greatest accomplishment in life is that I inadvertently made my friend break up with her shitty boyfriend by throwing her a really fucking awesome birthday party
okay so I fucking love event planning and decorating and hosting and baking, aka all the elements of a banger birthday party. I am so freaking happy to throw people parties because it means I get to throw a party, then go to a party! yippee!
so my friend's birthday rolled around and I knew she wanted a party because I'd done them for her before, but I wanted to make it extra special because she was turning the big 25. so I did all the regular stuff I am So Excited About: had her roommates let me into her apartment while she was out, put up balloons and homemade garlands and streamers and table decor, made her favorite cake and snack plates and cocktails, ordered catering from a restaurant she loves, got a bunch of our friends to come over to surprise her, wrote her a disgustingly heartfelt card, etc. and then because it was the big quarter century, I was like I gotta do something extra.
now. I do not like clowns. my friend loves clowns. we've gone to the circus together and she's seen me literally close my eyes and hide when the clowns are out in the audience, meanwhile she's screaming and waving at them. so obviously I hired a clown for her birthday. (btw seeing him out of clown costume made me less freaked out because now I knew that the guy under there looks like someone's uncle.)
so she showed up after work totally expecting a party because I'm too paranoid to throw a real surprise party, and obviously loved it. and then I was like btw. there's a clown.
she lost her mind. she was sooo excited. she loved the party and she loved the clown. I was like haha yes I'm getting a good grade in birthday parties and didn't think much of it because frankly I do this a lot, and it's so much fun for me that I don't consider it work. like, I love doing all that for my friends. it's not any kind of sacrifice.
two days later, she texted me that she broke up with her boyfriend.
naturally I was like omg tell me everything I hated that guy let's get coffee. so we did and she told me that for her birthday, her boyfriend of nine months 1) forgot about it and didn't get her anything, 2) got mad at her for not texting him while she was at her party, 3) got mad at her for telling him about the party because it was "passive aggressive", and 4) called her immature and stupid for being excited about a clown at her birthday.
this was all very in character for him. but she'd just come from a lovely birthday party full of her friends who love her and want to put effort into making a nice day for her, where her friend who hates clowns hired a clown just to make her happy even though the party alone would've been plenty. and suddenly this wasn't a boyfriend being kinda forgetful and lazy, it was a glaring incongruity with everyone else in her life. so she finally dumped his ass. and I was soooo freaking happy. so clowns can be good.
that relationship was already over, she didn’t even bring her boyfriend to her birthday party at her own apartment
actually it's worse than that! she knew there would be a party, but not what day. I invited her boyfriend to the party. he said no.
who is pinkie pie
Pinkie Pie is a pony character from the hit children’s show My Little Pony. She is known for loving to throw parties with a lovable, upbeat attitude. Pinkie Pie also loves baking for her friends and other residents of Ponyville.
Anyway, life is too short for shitty boyfriends who forget your birthday.
Instead, think about dumping his sorry ass and make some garlic bread for a party celebrating his exit from your life!
I have a confession to make... I thought the idea of wireless headphones like air pods were so so stupid when they first came out. But having owned wireless headphone pods with a case I have to admit that I do enjoy them quite a lot. But we should still eat the spleen of every person who lobbied to phase out the headphone jack in electronics
Agreed I thought Bluetooth should only be used in cars and shit but now I have wireless headphones and haven’t looked back.
Fuck those guys for taking the phoneussy though.
What I love about my fucking headphones is they came with a jack and corded aux for other devices that do still have the deviceussy. So I can listen to full albums/playlists (without ads, I know that’s so crazy) on my discman.
So anyway JBL is a great headphone company with wonderful compatibility and Apple and any other company that took the jack sucks really bad
@thetomska I’ll skin you alive (I agree but also fuck you for no particular reason)
Hey bro on a scale of nothingburger to everythingbagel how would you rate our gay sex last night
if I was a seal I'd be slapping the fuck outta my seal body
why wait!!
THIS IS SOME 10PM ASS 5:30PM WE'RE HAVING!!!!!!
Rainy California days are 10 pm all day
Guys my comment section has reached the point of reinventing the UK online safety act for fandom specifically
Two people were insisting upon this and couldnt seem to understand why I was horrified???
Say it with me folks.
IT IS NOT THE INTERNET'S JOB TO RAISE KIDS
It's on the PARENTS for letting their child have access to forums like AO3 in the first place.
You wouldn't blame a sex shop for some random child walking through the front door. You'd blame the parent for letting the child wander in the first place and being a total dunce of a parent.
RAISE YOUR DAMN KIDS
If I got locked in “the room you can only leave if the two of you have sex” i would immediately ask the other lesbian to use it as a research opportunity where we perform various acts of slowly increasing intimacy to find where the line between what is sex and what is not sex is drawn by the room
Having a bird truly has made me realize that yes, dinosaurs were just big birds.
The shooter was probably some Mormon fundy who trained in illegal militias all his life and could make that shot from 600 feet and hated Kirk for reasons far more baffling and contradictory than the basic political spectrum can possible explain and in the 4 hours the Feeb was interrogating that old man he slipped up to northern Idaho where he will never be caught
A few weeks ago my dad started wearing a shirt that none of us had ever seen before with Michigan state written on it.
Now usually you’d think “jeez slutgarlicbread maybe he bought it, duh”.
He’s never been to Michigan guys.
I know, I know.
“Well shit slutgarlicbread maybe he got it online.”
No.
I need everyone to understand, he will not buy new shirts ever. If a shirt were torn and had a nipple window, he’d wear it to the grocery store.
And this shirt doesn’t even fit him. It’s small on him. His tummy pokes out and yeah he doesn’t care he still wears it.
So we’re all thinking “who gave him this shirt?”
I got tired of the confusion so I just asked.
His answer: “well honestly I’ve got no clue, it just showed up on my bed”.
Okay. Great. Magic shirt chose you Dad.
On a flip side, my sister has a partner who sleeps over from time to time.
maybe you can see where this is going.
So my sister apparently had one of her partners shirts.
And ran it through the wash.
And it happened to wind up on my dad’s bed.
So anyway he knows that it’s my sisters partners shirt and he still wears it
Like cmon Taylor I was also at your concert with a bracelet in your honor
I could make you so happy with so much garlic bread
