Slytherpuff Shenanigans

Permanently inactive for the sake of my fellow trans folk ❤️ stay safe out there

[anotherintrovertedhufflepuff]

Slytherin: Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders

Slytherin: but they're also particularly good finds

Hufflepuff: ok well now I'm crying

Based on a conversation with @rithicculus

[hufflautia]

Slytherin: I like men who are environmentally aware.

Hufflepuff, pointing outside: That’s a tree!

[hogwartshousefriends]

Hufflepuff: Slytherin, we need to talk. I found a vodka bottle in your shower.

Slytherin: That means nothing!

Hufflepuff: An EMPTY vodka bottle.

Slytherin: Oh sure!! Drink some champagne in a jacuzzi and it’s ~luxurious~! But you drink ONE bottle of vodka in your morning shower and suddenly you have a problem!!

[hogwartshousefriends]

Slytherin|Punk|Trans Male

[ravenerdhogwartsincorrectquotes]

*at dinner*

Slytherin: Raven, I think I’ve made a mistake.

Ravenclaw: I can see that. Unless you're planning on running a marathon, choosing both stuffing and mashed potatoes is a starch filled redundancy.

Slytherin: No, it's about Huff.

Ravenclaw: A mistake involving Hufflepuff? Okay, you'll have to narrow it down.

Slytherin: I don't think I can go out with them tonight.

Ravenclaw: Then don't.

Slytherin: Other people would say “why not?”

Ravenclaw: Other people might be interested.

Slytherin: I'm going to talk anyway.

Ravenclaw: I assumed you would.

[hogwartshousefriends]

Slytherin|Queer|Leo for @thisonebitchsstuff

[hogwartshousefriends]

Slytherin: If I had to dream up the perfect partner, they wouldn’t even come close to you Hufflepuff.

[hogwartshousefriends]

Hufflepuff: *tending to Slytherin’s wounds*

Hufflepuff: How would you rate your pain?

Slytherin: Zero stars. Would not recommend.

[hogwartshousefriends]

Slytherin: Don’t be wholesome, it makes me feel like a prick.

Hufflepuff: Feel like?

[hogwartshousefriends]

Slytherin|Libra|Lesbian

[theroomofrefreshments]

Slytherin hubby. *yells from the bedroom* You have to come here immediately, this is an emergency!

Hufflepuff me. *eye rolls* if you’re looking for your Tuesday shirt, you’ve left it at your friend’s house last week. You remember? The night you got drunk, lost a bet and came home wearing just wet socks and a cloak…?

Slytherin hubby. *comes out grinning madly* what a glorious night that was.

[hogwartshousefriends]

Hufflepuff: Where are you going?

Slytherin: I’d tell you but I know you’re squeamish about homicide.

[hogwartshousefriends]

Hufflepuff|ADHD|Bisexual

[theroomofrefreshments]

Slytherin hubby. Remember when you used to be shy and demure and easily embarrassed?

Hufflepuff me. Umm no.

Slytherin hubby. Me neither.

[siriuslyveryhot]

Slytherin: *suppressing emotions to seem perfect*

Hufflepuff: I'm here for you.

Slytherin: I'll pretend I didn't here that.

[hogwartshousefriends]

Hufflepuff: Is everything okay?

Slytherin: If by okay, you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure, then yes, everything is groovy.

Hufflepuff: That’s not at all what I meant by okay.

[yeah-whatever-you-say]

Hufflepuff: you should drop the negative people in your life.

Slytherin : but I am the negative people in my life.