Sylvester101

The blog for all the writing blarbs

[slyvester101]

So, just watched episode 10 of crash...

LILY IS WHAT. POPS IS WHAT.

CRASH IS WHAT.

[slyvester101]

Finally caught up on Crash after procrastinating it for like three months and GOD it's so good.

Something I really appreciate about Crash is how real all the characters feel, how they all feel like people who have lived lives far beyond what we see but that we can see reflected in who they are.

You know that guy who drowns himself in alcohol to avoid his issues and not deal with the trauma he's faced over his life because that's easier than admitting he's hurting and that he's scared. Because it means he gets to at least pretend he's happy for a little while before the boredom or depression sets back in. But he knows what he does hurts and he's trying so hard to be better.

You know that guy who acts non-chalant and is super private and you think it's because he doesn't care, but it's really because he's scared of hurting again. He's lost a lot and he beats himself up about it. He survived and he feels guilty about it. He pushes people away as a punishment to himself. But he cares anyways and bites back the horror of knowing he's gonna get hurt again.

You know that girl who was set up to the highest expectations and for once just wants to be acknowledged for everything she's already accomplished. She's smothered by the standards set to her by bothers and there will always be that voice in her head reminding her that she'll never meet them. So she grits her teeth and keeps trying because she wants to meet impossible. But she knows she's not perfect.

You know that guy who's been through hell and back, who's seen far too much of the world and can't forget that knowledge. The guy who's experienced so much and just wants a break of peace for a little bit to enjoy the life he's missed out on, to give his people a break on the life that stresses them the fuck out.

You know the girl who's smiles and compliments and steady advice that hides a world of trauma that will almost rarely be seen. She's kind, not because she can't be dangerous, but because she knows what it means to hurt, and she would never want to put that on anyone.

You know the guy who's stressed out of his mind, who snaps and complains and groans about their job because the people around them aren't exactly making his job easy. But he cares and he's a steady presence when you really need it, a voice that promises to get down to the bottom of the problem however they can. He might not always be the nicest, but he's reliable.

You know the guy who has yet to face much of the world's evils but isn't completely naive about them either. He's kind for kindness's sake, and he's got a good head on his shoulders. He sees the good in people and keeps the people around him grounded in the thought that there is still something out there besides the world they've spent so long fighting in.

You know the guy who seems to be unaffected by the life they lead, ever giddy and excited and genuine, ready to bulldoze through the negativity to keep on smiling. They enjoy life even at its darkest moments and they so badly want to share it with everyone else.

This show does such a good job of showcasing just how human each of these characters are and foreshadowing things about them and adding little details that make you go "Fuck, I know who you are". Because they feel real, and they're not perfect, but you root for them because you can see how hard they're trying. And they're just so well-written and this show gives me goosebumps.

[slyvester101]

Tw; Panic attacks, mild blood and other bodily fluids

Despite Wash’s hate for hospitals and med bays, he’s used to waking up in them. He’s never startled by the cream colored walls or the steady beep coming from his heart monitor. There’s no shouting or panic, no screaming or kicking. He’s eerily calm when in a hospital bed, usually dead asleep to the world because of the meds but also because it’s more familiar than his actual bed. He’s been in so many hospitals that it honestly feels more like a home than anywhere else and that’s kind of terrifying to him.

Tucker, on the other hand, will start kicking and screaming if he wakes up in a hospital bed, even more so if he’s alone. He hates that place with a passion and is known as the world’s worst patient because of all the times he’s straight up left while in critical condition because he was done sitting in the empty room with no one to talk to. He has nightmares the whole time he’s there, the beeping machines and hard, stiff beds making it hard for him to fall asleep, and his injuries always end up cutting into his skin and making any position he lays in uncomfortable; he never gets any sleep.

So when Tucker wakes up flailing out of bed after his fight with Felix, no one is really surprised. He’s angry and distraught and in a fuck ton of pain and everyone is so concerned over making sure Tucker doesn’t rip open his stitches that they forget to tell him where his team is, where Wash is—

Tucker can feel his throat going raw.

“WASH!”

“Captain Tucker! Please calm down! You are very injured and—”

“GET OFF OF ME!! WASH!”

Tucker tugs and pulls on the arms trying to pin him down and keep him still. He feels his guts twist from the feeling of hands grabbing all over his body. His head is spinning and the pain makes it hard to think. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want—

Tucker spots the red lining his stomach and he’s sent back in time. Back to Blood Gulch with Doc at his side, a baby in his hand, and his stomach ripped open for the world to see.

Tucker throws up over the side of the bed.

He doesn’t register his shaking hands or his harsh breathing, doesn’t process the taste of blood and bile in his mouth or the cold edge of the hospital bed railing digging into his skin. He’s all too aware of the color staining the sheets.

“aaaaAAAHHHHH!”

“Captain Tucker, please!”

Tucker isn’t listening. Tucker isn’t here right now. Tucker is too busy trying to keep his blood from leaking out onto the floor as he tries to get up and out of bed. Tucker’s hands are red.

He’s dying. He’s dying. He has to be dying. Everything hurts too much for it to be anything else.

A gentle touch reaches the back of his neck and Tucker jolts so hard he almost pulls something.

“You are not dying.”

He is. He is. His luck finally caught up with him and now he’s gonna die alone in the dark and no one is even gonna know.

“Tucker, look at me. Hey, look at me. You are not dying. You are not alone. I’m right here.”

The gentle touch spreads to his face, cupping his cheek and guiding it to turn to the side. Tucker opens eyes he didn’t even know were shut and stares at the awfully familiar face.

“Wash.”

Relief hits him like a truck as he crashes into Wash’s chest, holding on for dear life as tears continue to stream down his face. “Wash. Wash. Wash. Wash.”

If Wash is here, then that means Tucker is far, far away from Blood Gulch. If Wash is here, then that means Tucker saved him from the feds. If Wash is here, then that means Tucker is here too.

Wash takes the hug, pulls him in close and doesn’t let go. He rubs over Tucker’s back, his arms, his neck, until every bit of tension is slowly melted away and Tucker is left a pile of limp limbs against Wash.

He’s eased back onto the bed, Wash crowding behind his back to keep him steady as the medics take the chance to stitch Tucker back up while he’s still relatively calm. Tucker takes the hand given to him to squeeze onto as he’s poked and prodded at, the callused hands he knows all too well squeezing comfortingly back.

Eventually, Tucker is all stitched up and cleaned of blood, the high of his panic settling down as warm arms circle around him and the weight of someone behind him sways his mind into the illusion of safety. He grasps onto that hand again, tilting up to press himself under Wash’s chin as he wonders aloud. “You’re gonna stay, right?”

Wash smiles against his head, pressing them impossibly closer. Tucker feels the pull of sleep nagging at him, eyes drooping and limbs heavy. He lets himself lean all his weight onto Wash, the other man accepting it with ease.

Tucker is half asleep by the time Wash responds to him, feeling more than hearing his answer.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

[slyvester101]

After everything that happened with Crunchbite (the bastard) and Junior’s probably horrific and painful birth, I imagine Tucker is more than a little wary about letting strangers near him.

He gets this hollow feeling in his gut when he’s around people he doesn’t know, gets an itch in his skin if he’s touched by someone he doesn’t trust. His throat tightens and his heart squeezes and his hands shake. He’s not able to sleep well around strangers, has to keep his back to the wall or else he’s waking every five minutes to make sure no one’s snuck up behind him.

He spends his whole diplomacy curled up in a ball in the corner of his room with Junior tucked under his chin, keeps his distance from the soldiers stuck on his missions and keeps them away with sharp smiles and horrible flirting that would make anyone cringe away.

At the desert temple, when he’s all alone with nothing but hostiles banging on the door, Tucker laments in how much he misses touch, misses the freedom of being able to hug someone without fear of harm, of being able to know if a touch was friendly or manipulative. He misses Blood Gulch. He misses blue team. He misses his son.

Even after Sidewinder, Tucker still isn’t in the clear, isn’t allowed some respite with his team because the latest member is yet another Freelancer who was chasing to kill them not even less than twenty-four hours ago.

His skin is buzzing the whole time they’re being shown around their new base by Caboose, his heart not settling despite the action being long over, his brain screams as someone grabs his shoulder. He screams out loud too, it seems, because the hand is pulling back quickly and a soft apologetic voice is echoing through his head.

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t fucking touch me, asshole.” Tucker all but hissed before he stormed away, unwilling to let this new prick see the way his hands shake and the way his face has gone pale.

He hates it. He hates it. He hates how he can’t even stand close to the fucker without feeling ill, can’t help but track his every movement and every word for some kind of malice or cruel intent.

He finds none.

He’s kind to Caboose, politely nodding along to whatever he rants about and keeping him out of trouble with much kinder words that Church was probably physically incapable of speaking. He’s kind to Tucker even though he’s been nothing but a paranoid asshole the whole time they’ve been at Valhalla, never taking offense to the distance Tucker puts between them and respecting whatever lines Tucker draws.

It takes a long time for him to feel comfortable enough to let Washington touch him, not quite as long to start giving him shit like he would’ve with Church. Slowly and cautiously, they fall into a groove that’s uniquely theirs and Tucker feels like he can finally breathe in his own goddamn house.

His trust in Wash is cemented when Carolina comes into the picture and constantly steps in as a barrier between the two, Washington knowing that Carolina would try to scruff or yank Tucker around for his big mouth and that Tucker would probably rip her hand off if she tried. He’s the only reason the two aqua soldiers don’t kill each other. That fact becomes undoubtedly true when Wash choses Tucker over Carolina, pointing his gun at her as she threatens Tucker.

Caboose was always a steady presence to the chaos in his head, the gentle giant sometimes being the only reason Tucker didn’t fall apart at the seams while he cried his fears into his chest, but Wash is a different kind of support that Tucker didn’t know he needed, one he doesn’t think he’s ever had.

It doesn’t stop him from getting that itch in his skin when he’s surrounded by strangers, it doesn’t stop the sick feeling he gets when he wakes up from a nightmare, it doesn’t make everything better.

But Tucker thinks, kind of incredulously, that maybe he can finally be safe with these two by his side. Maybe, just maybe, he can really let his guard down and have someone else watch his back.

Maybe he can finally let someone in.

[slyvester101]

When Carolina and Tucker first meet, Tucker immediately clocks that she’s a fake redhead.

Not even Wash knew, and he’s known her for years. Has seen her without her helmet on countless times.

Carolina is shocked because she also dyes her eyebrows and her goddamn eyelashes and she’s a damn good redhead so no one has ever questioned it before.

But Tucker knows a fake ass bitch when he sees one. And he sees a big ole bitch using box dye for her fake ass hair.

(He may or may not get punched for saying that last part aloud)

[slyvester101]

Caboose and Wash bonding over their head trauma.

Caboose and Wash sharing tips on how they remember things and keep track of dates and names and where they are versus where they’re supposed to be.

Caboose and Wash both being at risk/susceptible to seizures due to their head trauma, so all the sim troopers have to learn how to help them through it.

Caboose and Wash having panic attacks because they can’t remember an important detail about their lives (they should know this they should know this they should know this why don’t they know this?)

Caboose and Wash both being able to remember Tucker’s name. Always. First try. Easiest thing to remember. (Tucker being scared of the day they don’t.)

Caboose and Wash hating the giant gaps in their memory, so they spend a lot of time trying to fill it.

Caboose and Wash sharing stories all the time because they don’t want to forget…

What were we talking about again?

[slyvester101]

Tucker is the kind of guy to look Washington in the eyes while holding him with all the love in the world and go: “You are my light, my love, my everything. I will stand with you forever and keep you in my heart always.”

And make Washington absolutely swoon, but when Wash goes to gush about how suave and sweet Tucker is when they’re alone to Donut, Tucker bursts through the door like: “I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE YOU BITCH”

And then tackle Wash to the floor.

[slyvester101]

Tucker to Wash at some point: FLIRT BACK GOD DAMN IT

Wash, mildly distressed: HOW

[slyvester101]

Tucker can’t handle hand kissing.

Which is honestly bullshit because he can spew complete and utter garbage and not get even a little embarrassed. He can talk about the kinkiest shit and not get flustered. He’s done some of the kinkiest shit ever and still be relaxed and blaze about it.

But the moment someone takes his hand and tenderly kisses the back of it? The moment someone gently presses their lips to his hand in something short and sweet? Something that should be mindless and cute and shouldn’t affect Tucker at all?

Tucker fucking swoons.

He discovers this during his relationship with Wash, when things are still new and the high of finally getting to tap that sweet piece of ass makes him giddy with affection.

It’s been a nice morning, Wash still wrapped up in his bed as he got ready for some training with the lieutenants. He was already running late since Wash insisted on being stubborn, not letting Tucker out of bed without a sufficient amount of kisses and then proceeding to stretch out his unfairly attractive body over his sheets in a very enticing display.

Tucker debated just dropping his armor back off and spending the rest of his morning with Wash, rarely getting the chance to see Wash so calm and comfortable. Unfortunately, his training session was with Carolina and the threat of the wrath of his fellow aqua soldier was enough to get him up and moving.

(Besides, if he didn’t go, Carolina would come here and snap Wash out of whatever sweet mood he’d woken up in and Tucker is praying Wash stays in it long enough for him to come back and appreciate it properly)

After he finished suiting up, he crossed over to the bed where Wash was slowly falling back asleep and gave a quick kiss to his cheek, admiring the way Wash flushes even as he tilts into it. “Later.”

Tucker tries to turn, helmet swiftly going over his face in one smooth, practiced motion before heading to the door. A hand stops him before he gets too far, twisting him back around to face Wash as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and swung his legs over the bed, pulling Tucker between them.

Tucker expects him to knock their heads together or kiss the edge of his helmet (it's what he does when Wash has his helmet on), or maybe even bury his face in his stomach and whine for Tucker to stay, but he doesn’t expect Wash to bring Tucker’s hand up to his lips to carefully kiss the back of it, firm and slow and gentle.

It stops every gear in Tucker’s head.

He stares at Wash, feels the heat of his lips even through his glove, and has to swallow down the tremble that threatens to shake his whole body, breathing deep and steady to keep himself on his feet.

And then Wash cracks his eyes open to peer at Tucker through his eyelashes, eyes burning with something Tucker is scared to label, and Tucker nearly buckles onto his knees.

“See you later.”

Tucker shivers at the feeling of Wash’s voice vibrating through his fucking soul. “Um. Yeah. Uh huh. Totally dude.”

Wash chuckles against his hand and, in an act that has Tucker fully ready to crumple onto the floor, tilts it so he can kiss the center of Tucker’s palm. “Better hurry before Carolina comes looking for you.”

That’s almost enough to snap Tucker out of his daze, his brain beginning to reboot by the time Wash drops his hand and leans back onto the bed. “Shit. Yeah. Okay. Uh. See you later?”

He winces at the redundancy of his question, but Wash just snorts. “See you later, dork.”

After a full minute of just standing and staring at Wash in what Tucker can only describe as awe, Tucker finally gets his head screwed back on and quickly turns to leave, hoping he can speed-walk his way to being on time.

He’s completely dazed as he walks through the hallway, face heated from the simple gesture. His heart is pounding in his chest and he feels like a fucking kid again with a crush too big for his body.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Tucker glances at his hand, still feeling the pressure from Wash’s lips on it. He gets dizzy just thinking about it.

As he approaches the training room floor, everyone else already lined up and ready, Carolina standing tall and proper as Tucker walks through the door with knives in her eyes, Tucker has one last thought before taking a breath and trying to act like he’s as cool and unaffected as ever.

I am so fucking screwed.

[slyvester101]

Another headcanon for Tucker

Since Tucker is a black man stuck in the military with the same mostly white fuckers in a box canyon for years on end without any kind of salon/hairdresser/barber around, he gets fucking good at doing his own hair.

He orders all the stuff from Vic and has a designated ‘hair day’ for when he undoes, cuts, braids, or generally does his hair care. He gets hella good at it. He can do all the fancy, complicated shit. He can do the very mundane and simple shit too. He even learns how to dye his hair (it’s boring in blood gulch before Donut and Caboose arrived and kickstarted the next decade of shenanigans)

And since he’s the only “hairdresser” in the canyon, it’s obviously his job to take care of anything hair related.

He cuts Caboose’s and Church’s hair semi-regularly. Caboose lets him experiment and cut his hair however he likes, Church gets the same stupid haircut every time.

He helps Tex put her hair up in braids and buns when it’s just not cooperating. When Kai complains about a lack of hair care availability, Tucker gives her a full on spa day, treating and braiding her hair for her.

He also sometimes helps the reds with their hair. Sarge has only ever asked to borrow a razor (something Tucker still hasn’t gotten back), Simmons also gets the same damn haircut everytime, Grif has very curly and long hair like Tucker and often needs help taking care of/braiding it (especially since he’s too lazy to do it by himself) and Donut enjoys getting pampered whenever Tucker does his hair (Tucker doesn’t half-ass this shit. It’s a full production when Tucker does someone hair.)

He helps Wash and Carolina dye their hair. He braids Kimball’s hair into combat braids when she asks. He teaches the soldiers of Chorus how to do complex braids and how to do proper hair care while in an active warzone.

Taking care of hair, cutting, braiding, washing, it all becomes second nature to Tucker. It becomes woven (ba dum tss) into his very being. What used to be something he did out of vanity and necessity became something he did because he genuinely enjoyed it, because it brought him and the people around him joy.

Tucker using hair as an outlet, maybe as a coping mechanism. Tucker giving to others what he wishes someone would’ve given him.

A decent fucking hairdo.

[unr3asonablebehavi0ur]

we’re slowly forgetting your face.

[doubleodonut]

no, tucker! your laid back and carefree reputation! you can’t let on that you’ve accidentally come to enjoy exercise

[slyvester101]

what is with you and skull profile pictures

They look cool

[prophetic-writer]

When you've been a writer for long enough, commas become more of a spiritual practice than a grammatical one.

Could I explain the actual rules of how they’re used? Absolutely not.

Do I rely on sensing a tremor in the force to tell me where to use them? Yes and this has never failed me even once.

[kronosveritas]

…Sigh.

Happy pumpkin day, red vs blue fandom.

[kronosveritas]

I aM NOT AGENT WASHINGTON

[evilkronosveritas]

fuck you agent washington

[kronosveritas]

THIS is the one thing you guys agree on?!

[slyvester101]

You’re not beating the allegations

[papanorth]

To be perfectly honest with you. I've grown and changed and gotten a lot more aromanticrelationshipanarchywhatever with it. My heart says tuckington is not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (im all about the secret third thing now). Not that it changes anything but ya

I still like drawing schmoopy romance stuff tho so i will continue to indulge lol

[slyvester101]

No but like aromantic Tucker has such a near and dear place in my heart. Like, the man cares a lot. About his team, about his kid, about an entire planet. He has a lot of love to give and everyone keeps telling him one of the ways he has to love is a romantic partnership. But he’s never felt romantic before and the closest thing he’s got is a raging libido. Which is why he often thinks with his dick rather than his heart when it comes to potential relationships.

He doesn’t feel particularly romantic with anyone, sex doesn’t feel that much special with someone than without.

And then he meets Wash.

And it’s not romantic, which fuels Tucker’s denial about liking him, but it is something and it’s intense and the most something that Tucker has ever felt about someone. It’s new and confusing and Tucker has this urge to stay by Wash’s side all the time.

He wants to be touchy, but not that kind of touchy. He wants to sleep with him in the literal sense. He wants to press his face into his neck and maybe bite at him a little because of how feral he feels.

It’s scary, feeling something so intense that he doesn’t have any word for, but he’d rather deal with the confusion and anxiety over losing Washington any day. Whatever this feeling is, whatever it means for them, Tucker knows Washington is his person.

If Wash wanted to hug him, Tucker would let him. If Wash wants to kiss him, Tucker would let him. If Wash wants to fuck him, Tucker would let him. Because this may not be romantic, and Tucker may not want it the way that everyone says he should, but he wants Wash and he loves him enough that being romantic with him from time to time would be the least uncomfortable thing he’d ever have to do, because he’d have Wash and he’d love him and he sincerely doesn’t care what that means.

[slyvester101]

You, YOU. You keep updating and making new chapters of your turnsaps au fic. Makes me feed my addiction for fluff and a little bit of unhingedness. Especially when saparata gone a little feral when he's gonna fight fluixon. And turntapp fucking supported him on this endeavour and describe Flux as a prey for saps. You unhinged fucks. You guys are insane. Critically insane for each other. And I'm loving it.... Anyway, any fan headcanons for this au of yours? Like courting culture. Turntapp being possessive over saparata when schpood said to leave him and saps alone. And being touchy? I wanna hear you rant more about these two unhinged general folks. Along with the whole of the covenant.

I love seeing how insane people have gotten over this fic. I'm glad that I could make you all as feral as Turntapp and Saps <3

As for courting culture and courting headcanons, I think the Covenant has a very heavy emphasis on protection and watching each other's backs. Your partner is someone you trust more than anyone else, and since the Covenant are all about loyalty, cheaters or adulterers are often get very heavy punishments because that was the ONE person you were protect no matter what and you knowingly and purposefully hurt them.

This also means that the Covenant has a thing about having a good fighter as a partner, someone who will watch you back in battle and won't hesitate to die for you. It's something you can see Turntapp doing multiple times. He stands in front of Saps or pushes him out of danger, not because he thinks Saps is weak or anything, but because he's someone he would kill and die for.

For Saps part, him being a good fighter and being able to kick Turntapp's ass in some elements of training makes him very attractive by Covenant standards. If Turntapp wasn't already in love with him, you can bet that half the Covenant would be trying to court the man.

However, a lot of the touching Turntapp has with Saps is actually just normal Covenant culture. They're all very close and very touchy because of it. Turntapp is a bit more reserved in who he lets touch him, but he's always been touchy with Saps, so our oblivious man thinks it's normal for Turntapp to be draping himself over his back all the time.

I do think that Turntapp is the kind of guy to look up the courting rituals on Pandora once the Covenant's rituals go over Sap's head, but it still ends up backfiring because Saps just thinks he's being nice and doesn't KNOW that those are courting rituals.

It really isn't until Turntapp almost dies that Saps really gets the chance to look back on their relationship and gets to learn about courting rituals and then learn that yeah, Turntapp HAD been courting him for the last few months.