[smallpal]

I've been...... really feeling "nonbinary butch" as a descriptor for myself but I'm...... really afraid of the backlash that might cause you know?

[serversfordiscord]

Hi! I help mod a transgender & nonbinary server and we would love new members! We’re just starting out, but we want to create a safe space for our community 💖 We have several different channels to do anything from talking about your gender identity to posting about your favorite interests! The only requirements are: No terfs/truscum/transmedicalists, and no cis people. Sorry! If you’re interested, DM me or reply to this post and I’ll send a link!

[smallpal]

would it still be possible to get a link? 

[smallpal]

im tired of having a gender. can i retire it

[smallpal]

ggggg ive been feeling Very Uncomfortable with my gender lately and that’s honestly Very Scary

Like was I just faking being a trans dude for 5 years? Was I just Very Butch this whole time? I want to be seen as Boy but I also don’t want to be Not Seen as a Girl?? I want to be both and yet neither and It’s Upsetting. I thought I was done w all this bullshit back in highschool. Now that I’m growing facial hair I’m not sure that I want it, but I’m happy with no periods and the body hair that I do have. And then I had my gender marker changed a little bit ago when I was still in CA and now I’m just worried that that was a mistake. 

I feel like I desperately want to be a woman but I also don’t feel completely there despite being AFAB and it’s just a big jumble of ass. Please just let me be somewhere comfortably in the middle. 

[smallpal]

i recently signed up to be part of a nonbinary forum to have a place to talk about my experiences but im waiting to be accepted and im so anxious that i wont be, for some reason

[smallpal]

Just made my first post on the forum!! I’m hoping I don’t come across as too weird or anything. God I am so anxious about this??

[smallpal]

i recently signed up to be part of a nonbinary forum to have a place to talk about my experiences but im waiting to be accepted and im so anxious that i wont be, for some reason

[smallpal]

It’s been so long since I’ve felt comfortable just Being Myself identity-wise? 

[smallpal]

This is a bit of an introspection, but at the same time I guess I’m looking for anyone with similar experiences? Anyways here goes (under a cut bc its probably going to be long)

When I was first experimenting with gender, I was in my junior/senior year oh high school and i went ahead and called myself gender non-conforming; I didn’t ask to switch pronouns, though I wasn’t comfortable with she/her, and I started binding.

When I got to college, I started IDing as a dude, started using he/him pronouns, and was pretty open about my transness. I got put on hormones late 2015, and kept binding up until last summer (due to some chest pain I was afraid might have been caused by it).

However, I’ve never really wanted top surgery or surgery of any kind, and now that I’m finally starting to grow a beard, I’m not sure I really want it? Not saying that I regret transitioning - going on T has done wonders for me irt dysphoria. I still prefer to be gendered as male by cis people, but have started feeling more comfortable with they/them pronouns? I also don’t feel like I fit the trans man narrative, as I don’t have any regrets as far as being raised a girl. I’m glad that I was? I had a lot of meaningful experiences, especially through things like girl scouts, and I don’t want to just throw that away. 

And then theres the issues w sexuality. I know I’m into girls, I’m not super into dudes, but I wouldn’t call myself straight? And I wouldn’t really call myselfl bi, either. But like... what am I?

I feel most comfortable in women’s spaces, but I wouldn’t call myself a woman? But at the same time I Desperately Do Not Want To Be Seen As A Man? Because man has this negative connotation, even to me, and I don’t exactly Feel that way? 

I know you can be in the middle or neither or whatever, but because I’m the subject of this, I’m very quick to invalidate myself. 

anyways i feel like a big dumb weirdo. does anyone have any similar experiences? 

[smallpal]

hey, so, i’m going to be using this blog to talk about gender stuff just because i don’t feel comfortable doing so on my main. 

Anyways, call me Pal.