#nonbinary experiences

[savage-rhi]

Physical dysphoria for me as a nonbinary is interesting. It's not a matter of I want to go from F to M or vice versa, it's a matter of how can I become a shapeshifter without a curse attachment.

[xys-fits]

To the Friend Who Chose a Lover Over Me, Thank You

Probably the last thing I'll post about the friend breakup I had, at least for a while. Life experiences are rarely either all good or bad, including this one. Here, I write the other side of my feelings about the situation, the side I can't ever deny

Hey there: To be honest, I really didn’t wanna do this. I don’t even really wanna talk about you, let alone think about you. Sounds harsh, but that’s where I’m at. I didn’t know I could get this bad emotionally, but that was a discovery you helped me make. One of many, actually. I’m not trying to be sarcastic here. Like I said, I don’t even want to do this. You’ve hurt me deeply, and that won’t…

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[smallpal]

This is a bit of an introspection, but at the same time I guess I’m looking for anyone with similar experiences? Anyways here goes (under a cut bc its probably going to be long)

When I was first experimenting with gender, I was in my junior/senior year oh high school and i went ahead and called myself gender non-conforming; I didn’t ask to switch pronouns, though I wasn’t comfortable with she/her, and I started binding.

When I got to college, I started IDing as a dude, started using he/him pronouns, and was pretty open about my transness. I got put on hormones late 2015, and kept binding up until last summer (due to some chest pain I was afraid might have been caused by it).

However, I’ve never really wanted top surgery or surgery of any kind, and now that I’m finally starting to grow a beard, I’m not sure I really want it? Not saying that I regret transitioning - going on T has done wonders for me irt dysphoria. I still prefer to be gendered as male by cis people, but have started feeling more comfortable with they/them pronouns? I also don’t feel like I fit the trans man narrative, as I don’t have any regrets as far as being raised a girl. I’m glad that I was? I had a lot of meaningful experiences, especially through things like girl scouts, and I don’t want to just throw that away. 

And then theres the issues w sexuality. I know I’m into girls, I’m not super into dudes, but I wouldn’t call myself straight? And I wouldn’t really call myselfl bi, either. But like... what am I?

I feel most comfortable in women’s spaces, but I wouldn’t call myself a woman? But at the same time I Desperately Do Not Want To Be Seen As A Man? Because man has this negative connotation, even to me, and I don’t exactly Feel that way? 

I know you can be in the middle or neither or whatever, but because I’m the subject of this, I’m very quick to invalidate myself. 

anyways i feel like a big dumb weirdo. does anyone have any similar experiences? 

[waystoraise-blog]

Gender Expansive- Zoe/Rory

The narratives surrounding transgender and nonbinary individuals are narrow, usually leaving out nonbinary genders altogether, and often parsed for cisgender individuals instead of for us. This column is dedicated to providing more, to raising the bar, each article devoted to a different nonbinary person getting the chance to answer some questions and talk a little about their gender and gender in general. To expand on the stories we have, on the ideas of what being trans and nonbinary looks like.

This week we bring you some questions answered by Zoe/Rory. They're an 18 year-old studying film with a bit of a Starbucks obsession. They create art in many different mediums i.e. painting, drawing, filmmaking, and digital art, working as a graphic designer for Ways2Raise. They're a massive dork who enjoys silly films & TV shows, bike riding, and Pringles.

How do you define your gender?

I'm non-binary and my definition of my gender is really, really loose because being non-binary to me means just... Being who I am and ignoring the gender binary completely.

What does your gender mean to you?

It means that I'm being me, it's a way to express who I am very openly and freely even if it can be hard sometimes. I know it's really hard for a lot of people to understand the whole concept of being non-binary but what really matters to me is that they just accept it because it's who I am.

How and when did you realize you were nonbinary, what was that journey like?

I realized I was non-binary really quickly actually. Initially I ignored that part of me because I had a lot going on in my life when I started questioning my gender.  I really wanted to focus on things that were important, or that I felt were important, like homework and the plays I was working on. Over winter break of my Senior year of high school though I had more time to think about it all and it kind of hit me like a brick.

It all made a lot of sense why I didn't feel particularly comfortable with myself because I never really felt fully female and I never really felt fully male either. Looking more into it all, I first identified as genderfluid because I felt as though my gender was always shifting, always changing and it was nice to have a word for it. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was more non-binary. I didn't identify with either male or female, I didn't have guy days or girl days, I was just me, I always had me days.

What did you wish people knew more about your gender?

That it's a totally legitimate gender identity. It's a big part of who people are, it's a big part of who I am, and having people deny it can make me question who I am sometimes and I'm not really here for that. I wish people knew that even if they don't understand the gender, they should accept it because it's something that makes people more comfortable in their own skin.

What advice would you give to people questioning their gender?

My advice would be don't be afraid to question your gender. It's totally fine to do so, especially if you think it'll help you figure out more about yourself in the long run. You're experiences and feelings while questioning and figuring yourself out are completely valid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You don't need to have everything figured out right away.

Gender Expansive is an ongoing series designed to cover a wide range of stories and individuals, and we are happy to accept submissions of articles from followers. If you’re interested in writing a gender expansive article yourself, feel free to send us an ask to talk about it! Or even go straight to sending in a submission. Just answer the basic questions included here, and include a selfie if you feel like it! 

[littlenonbinarythings]

So I talked to my mom about my gender id today and at one point she said "This is who you are now. And if you, in the future, come at a point where you might want to change your body to better fit your gender, I'm ok with that". I love her so much!

super! :3