toxic little murderwife

avid ttrpg player, hobby artist, lesbian

[smallstoriesgames]

Small Stories is a home for games about horror, romance, and other intimacies.

My games include:

Thinly Veiled, a hack of Good Society that extends the world of Jane Austen into the Victorian era, and includes the restless dead. It facilitates stories about ghosts, hauntings, and how human beings deal with societal oppression and repression. The game allows players to explore these themes by emulating contemporary Gothic fiction and ghost stories. ($15)

Letters Home, an asynchronous epistolary horror game for two players. In this game, one of you will play a character away at summer camp, and the other will play someone they’re corresponding with back home. Every day, each of you will write a new letter, and reveal the prior day’s letters. ($5)

Lighthouse Keepers is a map-drawing game for 1-4 people about a lighthouse and the things that lurk outside it in the deep. You play a collective of lighthouse keepers living in an offshore lighthouse, a tower that stretches from its lantern high above the waves all the way down to the bottom of the sea in the hadal zone. ($5)

I've also created several free games, hacks, and supplements for other games! You can find them here.

In addition to my personal game design work, I do freelance work for other TTRPGs. My credits include writing for Fight with Spirit (Storybrewers Roleplaying), online character keepers for Stab and No Future (World Champ Game Co.), and writing for Tome of the Pentacle and Kith & Kin (Onyx Path Publishing). Get in touch any time!

[recreationaldivorce]

you think being a lesbian fujoshi is hard try spending one day as a lesbian hetjoshi...

[bethanydelleman]

Something about how Emma Woodhouse must feel a kinship with Frank Churchill because both of them have a sick relation that they must care for that restricts their ability to enjoy their own life, only for her to realize that Frank doesn't take this responsibility very seriously at all, has been everywhere that Emma has longed to go, and that he resents his aunt for the (lesser) restriction, which Emma never does with her father.

Something about how Frank Churchill hides his engagement from his aunt and uncle because he knows they will disapprove but he does it anyway, while Emma tells her father about her engagement right away and considers his feelings above her own, even to the point that she accepts that her wedding will have to be delayed indefinitely.

Something about how Frank Churchill will not do his duty to his father until he has something to gain by it (seeing Jane) while Emma sacrifices her happiness, time, and energy again and again without complaint to the care of her father.

Something about how on the surface, Frank Churchill and Emma Woodhouse seem very similar, but they are nothing alike.

[bethanydelleman]

Reading Emma while remembering that the whole story happens in between Emma dealing with her her father, hosting people she doesn't like for dinner just for his enjoyment, calming him down when he gets worried, repeating phrases over and over again for his comfort, playing boring games with him in the evening, and etc. and etc.

It really puts everything she does in a different light.

[s-che]

a game where we hurt each other

Last month, I played perhaps the most intense TTRPG session of my life as part of the Dream Library’s discussion of Bluebeard’s Bride, a game of “feminist horror” (more on this later) published by Magpie in a gorgeous print edition. Over the course of the month of October my guest lecturer/collaborator @marvelousmsmolly I collectively hosted three sessions of what was by far the most challenging game the Dream Library has ever discussed. 

We came to Bluebeard as the second part of our fall semester covering games of intimacy and monstrosity — a unit which began in September with Avery Alder’s Monsterhearts 2 and is continuing this month with Vampire: The Masquerade (If you want to get in on the VTM discussion and future semesters, please, come join). Both Molly and I suspected that Bluebeard was going to be both a quieter month and a riskier text — but opted to play through it anyway, albeit with some tools in place to make sure everyone knew what they were getting into with a book that doesn’t pull many punches. And with all that, the first two sessions went... fine? We had some lumpy pacing, some conflicting styles of play, some questions about how a game that really seems to encourage player bleed can possibly be played online, but for the most part things were fine. Not great, not bad — not worth the anxiety we’d had about them.

And “fine,” of course, doesn’t make for interesting conversations, so Molly and I took a step back. We talked about what was going wrong: a sense that neither of us quite felt comfortable hitting hard enough, even though we asked players ahead of time and at the start of sessions to tell us what was off the table. A frustration that player choice had trended towards the Bride as a detective/hero and not someone embodied in a world of horror. A confusion — once again — over what it means to “shiver with terror” in a discord call with some friends online. Out of that conversation came a new idea: rather than two more one-shots, Molly took some time to charge up a spirit bomb and put together some more formal prep, then recruited a group she felt could get together for a more curated experience. She wrote up her own excellent thoughts on what went down — along with a lot of session details — but you’ll have to join the Dream Library for that. 

The result of all that curation and preparation was that on October 23rd a group of four trans women — Molly, @jdragsky, our friend Mars, and I — sat down to play Bluebeard’s Bride knowing exactly what we were in for. We would be playing a transfem Bride, Bluebeard would be cis, and we would be hitting transfem-specific horror as hard as we possibly could. 

I’m going to quote from Molly’s reflection, where she wrote:

“Another really great aspect of running this game for this table is there was such a clear feeling that we all understood, wordlessly, what was going on... There are some moments in Allison Rumfitt’s gothic horror novel ‘Tell Me I’m Worthless’ where it felt like the author, a trans woman, was dropping phrases knowing exactly how her transfem audience would react... This had a twofold effect of both giving the players a chilling moment but also, a very brief but appropriate separation between fiction and player where could all grimace and be together in that discomfort before pushing on. People knew what I was doing. The problem with the original game is it doesn’t really want to discuss the politics of what “feminine horror” means. Because of this you’re really lacking some focus. I think a table of cis women could actually play bluebeard’s bride in the way we did last night and have it hit hard for them if they approached it correctly, I don’t think our experience was uniquely elevated by our trans reading, however that was one of several tools we used for that elevation.”

Setting aside the strengths and weaknesses of the original text, that sense of shared experience was key to our game and key to allowing us to hit — and get hit — really hard and trust that our coplayers were there with us. Compared to our earlier efforts (prioritizing safety by taking things off the table via lines/veils) tightening the topical scope from an ambiguous “feminist horror” to a specific transfeminist horror in the context of a chaser bf, in the context of an economic disparity, in the context of the medical pressures of transition in the contemporary U.K. allowed Molly, our lovely host, to hurt us knowing that we were all in it together and choosing to play this game. It transformed the horror from an obstacle in an adventure game into a thing we were seeking out: a pleasure/pain we asked to feel. 

In a games discourse that is — understandably — interested in protections which might be implemented anywhere, including at cons and home tables with much less of an art-and-politics interest, safety tools are often thought about as a negative thing, a preemptive cutting away of all the things which might end up hurting us. I think that’s part of why people can have a hard time filling out a lines/veils list in advance of a session. What are all the things in the world I’m sensitive to? What are all the contexts in which I’m sensitive to them? Good sensitive or bad sensitive? Sensitive enough to cause a scene? Sensitive enough to make it off the table? 

In place of that — and in a table with a really remarkable amount of trust — this final Bluebeard session leaned in, hard, to the things that hurt us. That was the game. Molly wrote a lot about kink in her reflection, and I think she was right to do that. The point of the game was to hurt each other and to feel, and it was a better game for keeping that in mind. It was an actual horror game, and not just a game with horror aesthetics. I agree with Molly that there was nothing essential about having an all-transfem table — I think what we did could be done by anyone, even with the base Bluebeard’s Bride. What was essential was having a table where we all trusted each other enough to play a hurting game and to know that we were there on purpose. It elevated Bluebeard’s Bride into a really fascinating, messy experience — one I can’t wait to play again.

[psychhound]

i just happened to have read a chapter recently called 'the positive negative experience in extreme role-playing' by markus montola that really hits a lot of these points from the academic side of things

montola talks about the "positive negative experience" in which rpers experience extremely challenging and distressing emotions during the session of roleplay, but later look back at the experience as positive and worthwhile. in fact, the majority of the people who intentionally engage in extreme roleplaying dont regret the choice afterward

extreme roleplaying mainly occurs in games that intentionally create player bleed. for those unfamiliar, bleed is the process of the character's thoughts and feelings influencing the player and vice versa. bleed in is when the player and the real world affect how the character is played and their actions. bleed out is when circumstances in game come into the real world to affect the player

some people and some games intentionally try to invoke bleed for a more intense experience, called "playing for bleed". often, the positive negative experience is an example of extreme bleed that creates exploration, reflection, bonding, and catharsis

being informed of content, themes, and triggers is often an important part of the consent process in extreme roleplaying, though at least in this study it didn't seem like safety tools were often used once the session starts. players want to be able to feel the horrible feelings and then "endure through the game to not be denied the feelings of completion and triumph of surviving through it” (p. 163)

another important part of extreme roleplaying is debriefing afterwards, ideally right after the session and then again in the days afterward. several interviewees in the study said that was really vital for them

a friend said he wanted to play bluebeards bride and then i read this chapter and then this post crossed my dash within like a day of each other :) kismet

(cws for the chapter: sexism, murder, cannibalism, and sexual assault within the games discussion)

further reading:

why people play tabletop role-playing games: a grounded theory of becoming as motivation

roll for insight: understanding how the experience of playing dungeons & dragons impacts the mental health of the average player

psychology and role-playing games

[worthikids]

Witches On Tinder

[sangoundercover]

Lady Montiddylyet, I mean lady Montilyet boob morning i mean , tiddy seeing you here, I MEAN

[chechula]

Since first one was really popular, here is my next vampire comic. This one is inspired by old anime and....it is the tale about me and my friend and our love for vampire romances :D

(I put both of my comics on Gumroad if you want to support me https://chechula.gumroad.com/ ....well, it is same thing as here just in the PDF x_x )

[chechula]

Birthday gift for my dear friend who loves vampires♥ . The whole thing was made in three days, I had too much fun drawing it! I created the cover drawing in the car on the way to the birthday party. So I had no time to scan it :D Well, if you enjoy reading it let me know and I will try to post more (I am making comics for my friend regularly, I am just too ashamed to translate and upload these silly things online x_x ) _____________________________________ Patreon Commissions

[avpol]

Mosquito Knight. She likes summer evenings and low lying marshland

[thydungeongal]

D&D is the Taylor Swift of TTRPGs by which I mean it's something with broad mainstream appeal and name recognition and also there are people out there who pretend it's gay

[thydungeongal]

#DnD is not gay#YOU are gay#don't give the game credit for things you did all on your own

That's right

[ashenhartkrie]

mutherfucking chainmail brush

How to make a super awesome easy cheating chainmail brush for photoshop or any program that lets u make brushes

step one

draw a fucking loop

step tw0

take ur loop. go to edit > define brush preset (or whatever u use to make brushes idk man i use photoshop)

bam. now u got a brush. 

but it does this shit.

and we don’t want it to do that shit. 

so what u gotta do is

step 3

go to ur lil brush widget thingy 

(this guy)

and he;ll take u to this sweet toolbox menu thingy

and then all u gotta do is fuck around with the spacing until it looks vaguely chain linky

and then u can do sweet arts like this

this tutorial has been brought to u by sleep deprivation

dont do art kids

now go forth and create beautiful chainmail without bawling you r eyes out as u singlHANDDLY draw every single fucking loop

[katherynefromphilly]

OH MY GOD I COULD HAVE USED A CUSTOM BRUSH IN PROCREATE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[primordialsquid]

How I paint chainmail - tutorial

When doing D&D inspired art, you have to learn to paint armour. Chainmail is pretty tricky without a technique or plan, so here is mine.

You could also just make a chainmail brush, but where’s the fun in that?

[owls-are-not-what-they-seem]

[queergamesbundle]

We're proud 🌈 to present the 4th Queer Games Bundle, with 500 games, TTRPGs, comics, and more from LGBTQ+ creators around the world.

For the price of one AAA game, you can directly support queer artists today. Buy it here for $60 (or $10+):

https://itch.io/b/2506/

[grntaire]

happy pride to everyone who recognizes her

[frodolives]

1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane follow

It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...

🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg follow

the franklin expedition is dead as hell

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane follow

Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing less from a M*lville fan

10,558 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all

#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh

659 notes

🎨 asherbrowndurand

Just painted this

2 notes

ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927

RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed

🖼️ preraphaelitebro follow

HERITAGE POST

📝 shakespearesforehead follow

How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol

82,170 notes

🌄 loyalromantic follow

poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/

#as useless and degenerate as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect

6,884 notes

🎀 thefopdiaries follow

I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling

📜 bartlebi-thescrivener

i think i hauve consumption

112 notes

🐋 whaler4life

They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME

11 notes

🌿 naturesnaturalist follow

I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense

#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo

56 notes

🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament follow

hottest byronic hero - FINAL

Heathcliff

Mr. Rochester

Voting ended onNov 29, 2023

🙈 butchbronte follow

Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist

📖 sapphichelenburns follow

It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. Anyway #rochestersweep

🙈 butchbronte follow

I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened

📖 sapphichelenburns follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily

8,027 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon

#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting

522 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH

#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....

2,309 notes

⭐️ newamerican

Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol

#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure

0 notes

[renaissanceoftheremarkable]

Ariadne

(Jean-Baptiste Greuze, c. 1803-1804).