“ alex? ” she spoke, barely above a whisper. nerves had taken over her body and her hands shook slightly under the sweater paws she’d hidden them with. the last time she had seen alex was when they were teenagers, when they were two kids who were on the edge of love. “ alex karev? it’s– it’s nirvana. ”
@smartmcuth .
umber hues dart t’wards voice only to return to tablet in hand ------ to give him a moment to think! he knows who she is; he’s known from the moment he saw her in the daycare center. how could he forget the face of someone who up & abandoned him? after a beat, the device falls to his side, corners of mouth quirking unconvincingly upward: GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY. these are not emotions he wishes to rehash.
ALEX : “ oh come on ! i gave you the room key before we left the freakin’ room ! ”
JO : “ no you didn’t ! did you ? ”
ALEX : “ you do this all the time ! you did this last week with the check for becky’s piano lesson . what is wrong with you ? ”
JO : “ i’m sorry ! i’m so sorry. ”
Sometimes it's hard to get in depth with your muse and their backstory, because you can't figure out how to bring those things up with others. Here are a couple of starters intended to make things a little more personal!
"What's holding you back?"
"I'm not comfortable with this conversation."
"Will you /ever/ be comfortable with this conversation?"
"Let me in sometime!"
"It's not that easy, you know."
"Help me understand."
"It's hard to connect with someone when all they do is push you away."
"Why are you always so cold?"
"Why are you always so happy?"
"Are you really happy now?"
"Who hurt you this badly to make you this way?!"
"What, did your ex mess you up that badly?!"
"Why do you keep fighting it any time you feel?"
"It's a problem, I get it."
"This is all kinds of messed up."
"That's not exactly a good coping method."
"So what happened, with your parents, really?"
"What was your childhood like?"
"Everyone has at lest a little bit of mommy/daddy issues. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"My parents aren't exactly perfect models, either."
"You were bullied? What for?"
"Was it hard? Coming out, I mean."
"You can't just run away all the time."
"You can't just hide all the time."
"Are you still thinking about them?"
"I'm not the enemy here. But this makes me wonder who the real one is for you."
"Is the reason you're so cold and defensive because you feel threatened?"
"How long has it been since you last spoke to them?"
"You never talk about it, why?"
"How come you're so different around them?"
"It's like you don't have a care or worry in the world."
"You seem so perfect. I don't get it."
"What was your ex like?"
"I don't think I was ever good enough for them."
"Are you not comfortable being intimate?"
"Why don't you feel comfortable being intimate?"
"Letting someone see you that vulnerable, it's a scary thing."
"Are you scared of being hurt?"
"Have you ever been taken advantage of?"
"Why are you afraid of saying I love you?"
"I never understood how someone could say those words so easily."
"You're hurting others the way you've been hurt in the past, don't you think that's ironic?"
"You use people to make yourself feel better."
"I'm scared of being used again..."
"Losing someone isn't easy, but you're making it harder than it needs to be."
"How long has it been since you lost them?"
"You're too attached."
"I'm not attached, I'm just comfortable with what I'm familiar to."
"Maybe the real reason you're so controlling is because, deep down you'd rather have them in your grasp than lose them."
"Why did you ever break up?" / "Why did we ever break up?"
“Are you Dr. Karev?” Gillian approached the man the nurse had pointed out to her. She had been called in to assist with a patient who was apparently a pathological liar, and who was also allegedly in a whole lot of trouble with the law. “I’m Dr. Foster. Gillian. I’m here to help with your patient, see if we can uncover the truth.” ( @smartmcuth )
skepticism is thinly veiled with an obligatory smile in greeting as attention is drawn away from the tablet in hand. ❛ right ------ the human lie detector. ❜ it’s nothing personal; he just has a hard time believing anyone can professionally play spot the liar & he’s surprised bailey even agreed to this. but hey, if this woman can help in any way, he’s not going to be the one to stop her. ❛ kid’s lied about everything since he got here ------ only thing we know for sure is that his name’s jonathon coleman and he’s seventeen. ❜
“no, of course that’s not what i think, alex! you –– –– i hate to say this, but i’m going to say it anyway. you don’t understand it. you can’t, and that’s not your fault, you shouldn’t have to. it doesn’t make you lesser of a surgeon but you can’t understand what they’re feeling. don’t make it worse. giving them more details will confuse and alarm them. there’s no preparing. it’s just extra hours or days of awfulness.”
❛ yeah, because lying to them about their kid’s condition is so much better. whatever. you know so much about this? you can be the one who informs them if their kid doesn’t make it through the night ------ because there’s a good chance he won’t, and you know that. and do me a favor, next time a peds case comes through the e.r., page hunt. ❜
oooh, finally. a ( rather violent ) reaction! even in his harsh, lame attempt toward making her leave, cristina manages to settle in further, simmering in those circling thoughts… mindless, not even about anything in a chest cavity, for once. ❛ should i… have a morning routine? ❜ rhetorical, though the idea lingers. ❛ burke had a morning routine. george joined burke’s routine. meredith came up with an idea for one and we tried it out, but… didn’t stick. ❜ — it was the running. really, who were any of them kidding? eyes fall atop his head, lips pursed to the side, deliberately debating what to do next in order to at least get a murmur in response. his entertainment value had been declining by the second. so, ❛ hey, let’s go on a run. ❜
he lays there silent & still in the dismal hopes that she might go away if he doesn’t respond, eyes pinched shut, mouth contorted into a scowl; and yet despite his best efforts to come across as lifeless as possible, she continues. ( and continues and continues and ------ ) with a pointed huff, alex eventually rolls onto his back in defeat. even if he tried to go back to sleep at this point, he wouldn’t be able to. he’s too awake. ❛ maybe your morning routine should be leaving me the hell alone, ❜ he grouses, gaze fixed on the ceiling before he peeks a glance at her out of the corner of his eye. ❛ besides, you wouldn’t be able to keep up with me if we went on a run. ❜ partially mostly does he believe that, partially does he just want to get under her skin.
@nodebt | character development meme | not accepting !! (duh)
Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?
alex’s siblings were considerably younger than him, as none of them were any semblance of planned. he is estranged from the rest of his family —— partially because his mother had no siblings, partially because his father alienated all relatives on his side. aaron is closest in age to him, but he served more as a parent than a brother. he’s probably closest to amber because although he protected both of them with all he had, amber was the one whose hair he braided in the morning, the one whose bed he fell asleep in while reading her stories, the ones who sat on his lap when they were watching television. that isn’t to say that he wasn’t close to aaron; he just had a particular bond with amber.
What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?
unfulfilled. even before her illness took hold, helen was fairly aloof —— both her & his father spent more time nursing a beer than they did taking care of him. still, she loved him; that was what mattered. she’d brush his hair before bed and pray for him to saint jude and bandage him up when he fell and she’d make him lasagna when they had the money because she knew it was his favorite. still, it was obvious that she had never intended to be a mother. she never gave up the lounge lizard lifestyle that she and jimmy had developed, even for him.
then she developed schizophrenia, and without the funds for proper medication, she spent more time in psychotic episodes than out of them. gone was the mother he knew & what was left were the hopes she would someday be herself again. he didn’t have enough time with her; she didn’t have the chance to really be his mom. all he had were the little snippets of memories with her, which was what he clung to when she became burdensome. they could have been so much more if they had the chance.
What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?
warring. as with alex’s mother, jimmy was distant and aloof before he took to heroin, obviously never planned to be a father, but he took him to the fair sometimes and let him sip beer when no one was looking and taught him how to play the guitar.
that meant almost nothing to him when jimmy started using. they were just memories that hurt him more than they comforted him. at least his mother couldn’t help her fits of rage. she was sick; but jimmy? jimmy was just a son of a bitch who abandoned his family long before he actually left them. he had a heavy hand, and alex dealt with it almost nightly. the two were always butting heads, not only because alex purposely pissed him off when he started going after amber or aaron so the bruises painted his skin instead, but because alex truly resented and hated jimmy for the way he treated his family. it was around the time that this started that alex realized family wasn’t always those you were related to.
and that broke his heart. he wanted a dad. he wanted jimmy to get clean and tap alex out and take care of his family. he wanted playing catch in the yard and hugs after won matches and barbecuing together. he wanted to love jimmy, and that’s why what jimmy did hurt so much.
Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?
not necessarily witnessed something, but lived through something. his parents changed him. he wasn’t always gruff, callous, defensive. he was a lot more like aaron when he was a kid —— but a childhood of bruises and thievery and taking care of everything and constant survival mode changed him. the persona he put on to protect his family from questioning gaze, the persona he put on to stand up to jimmy, it was what he became. it was what he had to do to survive. amber and aaron obviously know about this, and a few others he’s gotten close enough do too.
On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?
half-eaten granola bars can definitely be found in his scrubs, possibly a scrub cap, maybe a toy car or barbie doll in the pockets of his lab coat, his pager.
Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?
alex rarely dreams because he gets so little sleep —— and if he does dream, he doesn’t remember it. on the rare occasion he does remember his dreams, they’re centered around his day or they’re completely outlandish and he can only remember little bits and pieces that don’t really make sense.
Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?
slightly more frequent than his dreams are his nightmares (still very infrequent), which are usually intense & vivid. as mentioned in a previous sleep headcanon, they’re usually about him not being able to protect his siblings from helen/jimmy or him screwing up and losing a patient or when he got shot.
Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?
never; he hated them before he got shot & even more afterward.
Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?
absolutely. he’s considerably more well off now than he was as a child. he doesn’t worry about whether or not the heat/lights/water will still be on when he gets home from school —— except on the rare occasions he forgets because he’s so busy at the hospital. he doesn’t worry about whether or not he’ll have a meal on the table or if he’ll get caught stealing it. he lives comfortable now, without fear of going without.
Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?
i’m gonna say ?? less. he isn’t ashamed of his body & he often sleeps either fully naked or in boxers. but it’s not like he cares about having to wear extra layers?
In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?
it’s a tie.
when he got shot, he was fearing for his own life. dragging himself into that elevator, losing the feeling in his extremities. unsure of whether or not anyone would find him, unsure of whether or not anyone would save him, unsure of whether or not his last moments would be spent staring at the ceiling of an elevator, a lifesaver unable to save his own life —— it was the most scared he has ever been for his own life. no confrontation with jimmy ever came close to the way he felt in that moment.
when his mother went after aaron with a steak knife, he was fearing for aaron’s life. he had never seen her move so fast. she lunged across the room like an animal, metal glinting in his hand before he even realized she had grabbed the knife off the table. (he couldn’t believe he left it there.) she was moving so fast, but everything around him was going in slow motion —— and it was a good thing too. it’s the only reason he was able to grab her and yank her back in time; but any longer & his brother would have been stabbed, possibly to death.
In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?
alex is always, always the calmest in the o.r.; he is always the most comfortable when his hands are inside a body, when his scalpel is moving. even when he’s in a panic over what his next course of action should be, the o.r. is his happy place. it’s has chance to escape from everything happening in his life. he has to be calm, level-headed, steady-handed. the o.r. is where atlas no longer feels his burden, even as it suffocates him.
Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?
lmfao y’all
Does your character remember names or faces easier?
alex remembers faces much easier than names, which was an issue when he first started out. he could rarely remember the name of his patients —— both because he was so callous and because it was truly difficult for him. however, it has become easier the longer he has been a surgeon.
Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?
no, not really. going without for so long hasn’t made him money-hungry. it’s more of a byproduct of his profession than something he actively pursued. if anything, he’s grateful to have money, but he isn’t greedy.
Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?
alex idealizes happiness. he thinks people who have it are lucky, but there are some people —— like him —— who are just dealt an unlucky hand. success, meanwhile, he has. he’s made something of himself. he’s come so far, and he’s proud. he used to idealize success, but now he has it, so now he wants and idealizes happiness. happiness is something he does have, but he wants a family on top of being a surgeon . that’s the ideal version of happiness for him now.
What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?
he had a teddy bear that his dad won for him at a fair. he brought it everywhere, even to the bar when his dad was playing and his mom was drinking. he couldn’t sleep without it. he eventually forgot about it as his relationship with his father deteriorated. it fell underneath his bed & when he found it years later, he did not hesitate before throwing it away.
Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?
alex absolutely admires ambition more. he admires those who go after what they want, those who persevere and persist because he feels a kinship with them. they’re someone who he can relate to & he will have more respect for those with that trait.
What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?
alex is terrified of dependency and furthermore being left by those he is dependent on because those he has depended on have always left/disappointed him, and those wounds are the ones that hurt that most. he’s incredibly afraid of loving someone, needing them, opening himself up and them walking out. because of this, he tends to lash out and be self-destructive whenever he feels himself getting too close or feels the other person pulling away. (@ him cheating on izzie, @ him fighting w those he cares about to keep them at arm’s length) this has definitely (and intentionally) destroyed relationships for him before, which he later beats himself up for.
In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?
the only time alex compares himself to others is during competitions, which almost everything was as a surgical intern. he looked to the progress of others to see where he stood, more so to criticize himself, push himself to be better. especially as an intern, he put on airs that he thought he was better, faster, superior —— but really, alex was worried that he wasn’t good enough to be a surgeon. he was worried he would fail at his one success in life; and so he took his cues from others, looking to them to see if he had to push himself.
during his residency and his current years as an attending, if he compares himself to others it is usually for self-validation; a reminder that he is the best. usually it isn’t to be cocky (though it comes off that way.) rather, it’s to reassure himself & he often compares himself preparing to be disappointed and instead being pleasantly surprised —— like when arizona was interviewing for the fellowship position & he spent the entire day worrying that he was not good enough, comparing himself to the competition. personally, he felt less than, and it wasn’t until he overheard the phone call where the woman admitted that all arizona did was gush about him that he felt validated.
If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?
alex almost always blames himself for what happens to him, but he lashes out at others whenever he feels this way. his internalized anger spills over and he uses it towards anyone within spitting distance, though it’s really meant for himself.
What does your character like in other people?
he likes ambition, drive, a sharp tongue, loyalty —— someone who is there for the long haul & who won’t bail at the first sign of trouble. he likes those with depth. he likes those who surprise him. he likes those who don’t take his shit & have no problem throwing it back at him, because those are the people worth getting to know.
What does your character dislike in other people?
overly chipper demeanors, condescension, ignorance, unwillingness to compromise when the situation calls for it, passive aggressiveness.
How quick is your character to trust someone else?
it takes him a while to get comfortable enough with someone else to trust them. trust has to be earned. he has to know that they’re worth trusting.
How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?
alex is extremely loyal, but if he suspects foul play, he’s going to confront the person —— regardless of how close he is to them. where he takes his suspicions from there, however, do depend on how close he is to the person. if he suspects meredith of slowcoding a patient, he’s not going to run to bailey and tell her. if it was nathan, however, he certainly wouldn’t have a problem.
How does your character behave around children?
!!!!! alex’s blunt, callous, aggressive demeanor melts away around children. he is all smiles and inside jokes and nicknames. comforting, kind, very in tune with how to approach/deal with kids of every age to keep them happy and calm. he’s not above singing their favorite song to calm them down, talking about their favorite superhero, or playing video games with them. as a matter of fact, he enjoys it. every social grace he lacks with adults he makes up for when around children.
How does your character normally deal with confrontation?
a fight is not something alex is known to stand down from. it doesn’t matter if the altercation is verbal or physical; he stands his ground. on multiple occasions has meredith had to physical hold him back from going after someone. he does have a pretty bad temper & he gives into it without much hesitation.
How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?
like,,,, i said, alex has no problem getting a good punch or two in. he would never lay hands on a woman, but he has no qualms decking a guy. this is a trait he developed as a teenager. people backed off after he kicked their ass —— left him alone, left his family alone. he never really grew out of it, but it’s not like he goes straight to punching right off the bat unless provoked. usually what sets him off is something bad said about someone he loves, something really bad said about him, a personal betrayal, or situations in which he feels he is protecting someone he cares about.
What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?
alex dreamt of getting out of burlington, iowa first and foremost, becoming a surgeon a very close second. ever since he was a kid, he excelled in sciences. there was never another option for him. obv his dream came true
What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?
drug use, for sure. other than that, poor hygiene generally repulses him
Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.
see “In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?”
Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.
u m honestly?
In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?
it depends on who the criticism is coming from, how much he values their opinion, & whether or not he agrees with their opinion. when he gets reamed out by arizona or meredith, you can be damn sure that he’s going to listen & do his best to never make that mistake again. he takes that to heart & it usually takes someone calling him out on his bullshit like that for him to make reparations. however, if it comes from someone he doesn’t respect & is more of an attack on his character than anything he can actually improve upon, he’s more likely to be defensive and lash out against that person. but again, it really comes down to who the person is.
Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?
as a surgeon, he has to know when to keep trying and when to give up. this is the fine line that he walks almost daily. does he keep at this approach and risk losing the patient, or does he switch to another and risk losing the patient? there is no definite answer to this question because it always depends on the case he is dealing with. different patients, different illnesses, different surgeries get different methods.
How does your character behave around people they like?
alex is very relaxed and open with those he likes. he’ll sit back with a beer and throw around some jokes, laughing, smiling. when not hanging out, he usually shit talks to them. “that guy’s an ass” and the like. that’s how to know you’re in with alex —— he’ll strike up conversation with you that doesn’t automatically involve him insulting/dismissing you.
How does your character behave around people they dislike?
he’s very cold. usually he’ll completely ignore their existence until they say something that he can use to insult them with/can laugh or scoff at. confrontational, rude, insulting —— they can all be used to describe alex when he doesn’t like someone. there are lots of smarmy comments and dirty looks. honestly, he’s kind of a bully.
Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?
honor?? i guess. he doesn’t really care too much about what people think of him, but he knows he’s a good doctor & he won’t stand for being disparaged when it comes to that.
Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?
shit ma n….. again, i’m gonna have to say it depends on the situation. when it comes to protecting others, like his siblings, he’s more likely to remove the problem/threat, i.e. kicking jimmy out, than he is to run away from it. even when he can’t remove the threat, when he’s in it for someone else, he doesn’t run. (i.e. when izzie cut the lvad wire & he wanted to clean his hands of the situation immediately, but he stuck it out and didn’t give her up because that’s His Team. those are his people, even if they’re constantly at odds.) however, when it comes to protecting himself, he usually backs away from the situation. this is only when there’s no other way to deal with the situation.
Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?
nothing more than being nipped by a few dogs, which didn’t make any lasting impression
How does your character treat people in service jobs?
he gives what he’s dealt; if the person across the counter is rude, short, and snippy, then he’s going to give that same attitude back. he doesn’t make scenes, however. if his order is wrong, he asks them to fix it without any fuss, and he thanks them when it’s fixed. half the time he just eats it anyway because it’s food and he isn’t picky.
Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?
he feels as though things need to be earned. if he gets something undeserved, he feels as though he has failed in some way. he’s spent his entire life fighting and surviving. he worked tirelessly to get to where he is today. he has earned what he wants, so he feels he deserves it.
Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?
i guess bailey? he sees her as a kind of parental figure. (even tho imo she treats him like shit b ut)
Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?
ava? he took care of her the best he knew how & she was pretty dependent on him. mer’s kids as well; he definitely takes on his uncle role wholeheartedly. he picks them up from daycare when she can’t, he gets them dinner when she can’t, he gets them to bed when she can’t. when meredith was attacked, he was the one who watched them during her stay in the hospital.
and ik helen was related to him but she was his mom & she was much more dependent on him than he was ever able to be on her.
How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?
alex doesn’t just throw “i love you” around without meaning it. especially as an intern, he was very guarded, had never had a Real Relationship before. being in love scared him so much??? so he really couldn’t bring himself to say it to izzie when he did feel that way, but when he finally did, it was For Sure. it still takes him a while to say “i love you,” but when he says it, he means it —— and it’s deep-seated & genuine. honestly sometimes he doesn’t even realize that he has to say it because he assumes the other knows how he feels.
What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?
he doesn’t know honestly. he doesn’t really have a belief system, but growing up in a catholic household & christian society, part of him wonders if Maybe god and heaven and hell are real. usually he considers religion to be an excuse for mankind doing shitty things. if they can blame it on a higher power, they don’t need to feel guilty. personally, he’s okay with there not being anything after death. he doesn’t dwell on it too much.
❛ you wanna explain to me how you let a schizophrenic get her hands on a freakin’ knife? ❜ he roars, timbre demanding & aggressive, hands gesturing in accordance. he trusted them to take care of his mother ------ better than he was ever able to. he put her in here. him. ( his fault. ) wholeheartedly does he believe that, but he is still in the lobby of her facility, screaming in the director’s face. maggie’s existence has been completely forgotten. ❛ you wanna ------ you wanna explain to me how it took ten minutes for someone to find her lyin’ in a pool of her own blood? are you kidding me? you guys are a joke. i moved her here so she would be safe, not so some jackass over the phone could tell me she’s fine every time i call and then screw around and let her hurt herself. you guys are done. you hear me? done. ❜
somber mantra reverberates within skull walls, repeats itself over and over and over. he clings to every syllable like it’s air and he’s drowning ; it wasn’t your fault. surgical cap is hastily removed from atop his head & shoved into the pocket of his scrubs. he had looked his patient’s parents in the eye, pushed them towards the riskier surgery, promised he could do it ------ after all, he’s the best! people come to him from miles, are told to just go see doctor alex karev at grey sloan. if anyone could do it, he could. ------ and the kid died on the table. it wasn’t your fault. this has happened countless times before, but it never gets easier. blank stare is fixed on the attendings lounge door, but all he can picture is the look on their faces when he told them that the life they entrusted him with had been lost under his care. it wasn’t your fault.
it’s only when arizona enters that he remembers to blink, straightens up against the couch, offers up a lip quirk meant to serve as a smile. ❛ you, uh ------ you just get out of surgery? ❜
❛ my mom has CANCER . ❜ she trembles in place for a few seconds , a tear running down a flushed cheek as she allows herself to digest those words . ❛ oh my god , i was HORRIBLE . do you know what this means , alex ? she brought jackson to my house to tell me she has CANCER . & i shut her out because i cared too much about MYSELF to not realize how sick she was . i’m like a selfish , ugly MONSTER that throws her mother out when she has CANCER . my mom’s gonna die . she’s gonna hate me & then DIE . ❜ stature mirrors that of high school , a shivering body , cheeks damp with tears , pupils swimming within a broken pool of tears that build up . ❛ i threw my mom out & she has cancer & she’s going to die ! ❜
@smartmcuth // muse : maggie pierce
expression speaks for him: upturned brows furrowing the longer he listens, lips slowly forming a line, gaze dropping away from her briefly, only to return again. SYMPATHY; he would be beating himself up for it too. EMPATHY; he knows what it is to screw up with someone close to him & he knows what it is to face those consequences, but maggie’s mistake was just that ------ a mistake. ❛ you ------ you couldn’t have------ ❜ he pauses, head shaking almost imperceptibly as he collects his thoughts. ❛ look, there’s no way you could have known that. she can’t be pissed at you. i mean, yeah, you overreacted ------ but she’s your mom. she’ll get over it. it’s ------ it’s like what they do. she’s only gonna be pissed at you if you don’t show up for her. she has cancer. just show up for her. ❜
the longer amber looked at him , the more she felt that her chest was going to collapse . the radio silence was killing her , making her think that alex didn’t care that she’d come , that it didn’t matter that she was so angry with him . it took her by surprise , his arms wrapping around her so tightly & immediately the tears that had began to brim had burst ; a tiny sob escaping into her older brothers chest as her arms finally wrapped around him , too .
hold on her unwavering, fingers hesitantly card through wavy locks as a means of comfort. his chest tightens the same way it used to when she cried. ( what do they say about old habits? ) he is unsure how long they remain there ------ suspended. part of it is how much he’s missed her, part of it is not knowing what to say to her. it has been years. nothing he says is enough to make up for that, but he knows exactly what he wanted jimmy to come back and say after leaving, exactly what he needed to hear. ❛ i’m sorry, ❜ is mumbled to the crown of her head.
2087
origamiaround
titsay
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
