✧ / ur ' e ! k i l l i n me / ♡

✧ / love got me fucked up got me on stuck , chasin' that rush had to give in , couldn't give up i just want you , but i don't do drugs / ♡

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 i’ve moved blogs ! if youre interested in interacting still , drop a ♡ & i’ll drop the url !

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   ᴋᴀʏᴀ​:

          @iloisms​

         now that the deed was finished, now that his mind had finally quieted itself, he could sit back and reflect on the experience. the night wasn’t over—the excruciating job of cleaning up his mess still loomed ahead of him—but the bliss that followed his nights of passion came with the same soothing wave of exhaustion that he had to attend to, first. in these moments, he allowed his thoughts to run freely, to reminisce in the depravity that had occurred. it was the third in as many months, a large uptick from his usual schedule, but kaya had refused to work himself into a frenzy over the details. he was good enough to get away with it.

         but the change had still been noted. at one point he had regarded his sickness, as he had taken to calling it, as a patient demon. there were times in his life that he had only taken someone once or twice in the year, and still managed to keep appearances in the meantime. so what had changed? it was impossible to say. more accurately, he didn’t care to figure it out. as long as he was able to keep his secret, to shroud his nights away in work and business trips and family emergencies and other such obligations, everything was fine.

         and it was much more satisfactory to focus on the fresh-made corpse still spread-eagle across his shack’s table. she had been fun. a fighter, in her own right, who hadn’t given up on the dream of life until he had finally strangled ( or was it bled? it was difficult to keep up on how many different ways she could have died… ) the last bits of breath from her. maybe he would keep her around for a few days, give himself a break from the immediate clean up…. call in to work, text his girlfriend that something had come up…

   she  isn’t  one  to  be  played  a  fool.  never  has  &  never  will.  so  when  kaya’s  suspiciousness  had  presented  itself  ,  she  was  quick  to  call  it  out.  even  quicker  to  start  her  own  investigation  into  whatever  nightly  activities  ,  had  so  suddenly  outweighed  spending  time  with  her.  areum’s  patience  is  stretched  far  too  thin  already  &  watching  her  boyfriend  waltz  into  the  structure  ,  completely  snaps  the  thin  wire.  rationality  is  thrown  to  side  as  she  steps  out  of  vehicle  ,  slamming  car  door  shut  ,  letting  her  presence  be  known.  raised  fist  moves  to  knock  furiously  against  the  entrance  ,  as  she  calls  out  for  the  other.  “  get  out  here  ,  kaya!  you  think  i’m  stupid  or  something?  ”  demands  ,  ignoring  flare  of  pain  up  her  wrist.  “  i  fucking  knew  ,  you’d  pull  some  bullshit  like  this!  i  want  answers  ,  now!  ”  

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   ꜱᴇᴛʜ​:

         “late?” the word had leapt off his tongue and out of his mouth before he could recall it, brow cocked in surprise. it wasn’t late, as far as he was concerned—and even people punctually strict wouldn’t have considered it as such. even so, he shrugged off the disapproval enough to take a seat, uncomfortably aware of the differences between them. he had known, of course, that eiffel had come from a more… privileged background. but this was very far out of his element. “you didn’t invite me here t’talk about her playin’ dress up with me, did you?” it was another statement he felt he’d live to regret, but frayed nerves made him more gruff and standoffish than he intended.

   “  not  at  all.  although  ,  i  did  want  to  talk  about  you  ,  in  general.  ”  manila  folder  is  pulled  into  view  ,  it’s  contents  holding  onto  every  traceable  bit  of  history  on  his  sister’s  boyfriend.  “  allow  me  to  cut  straight  to  the  point  ,  i  don’t  care  for  you.  never  have  &  admittedly  ,  never  will.  ”  as  he  speaks  ,  he  skims  through  a  few  pages  of  what  little  he  was  able  to  dig  up.  “  dropout  ,  runaway  &  a  mechanic  ,  do  you  see  where  i’m  going?  you’re  ....”  a  pause  to  check  the  man  is  following  along  ;  “  not  suitable  for  her  ,  at  all.  seo-hyeon  has  a  chance  still  to  excel  into  a  higher  level  of  professionalism  ,  are  you  understanding?  the  longer  she’s  shackled  to  you  &  this  ridiculous  relationship  of  yours  ,  the  further  she  descends.  i  simply  want  the  best  for  my  sister  &  as  an  older  sibling  yourself  ,  surely  you  can  relate?  ”  

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   @carnassialisms​

   he’s  sipping  a  wine  glass  in  bored  fashion  ,  once  seth  finally  arrives  at  the  table.  “  you’re  late.  i  told  you  six  pm  ,  sharp.  ”  is  the  offered  greeting  as  he  raises  to  shake  hands.  “  &  it  is  now  currently  six  o’three  ,  not  a  great  first  impression.  take  a  seat.  ”  wastes  no  time  in  using  generous  amount  of  sanitizer  to  clean  the  hand  that  greeted  the  man  ,  eyes  taking  in  his  appearance.  “  i  hope  you  were  gracious  enough  to  thank  my  sister  ,  for  dolling  you  up.  didn’t  think  you  even  owned  a  suit.  ”  

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   ♡ ꜱᴇᴛʜ:

         outwardly, seth’s expression hadn’t changed, a lazy glance offered toward the so-called fresh tattoo in question. “what’re you talkin’ about?” he asked, catching her waist as she tried to scoot out and away from him. “you think i went out an’ got this thing covered up, just t’go out an’ get another one?” inwardly, indescribable fear coursed through him. was this it? was this how she found out? was this how everything was ruined? heart thumping hard against his ribcage, harder than it ever had before, than it should have been, he tried to keep his face devoid of anything but mild curiosity.

   lips  pull  downwards  into  a  pout  frown  as  she’s  tugged  back  ,  though  she  can’t  help  but  to  melt  into  embrace.  “  don’t.  i  know  what  you’re  doing  ,  dummy.  ”  huffs  irritably  against  his  side  ,  running  her  thumb  over  the  tattoo.  there’s  definitely  something  different  about  it  &  eiffel’s  got  a  sneaking  suspicion  ,  seth  knows  it  as  well.  “  well  i  mean  ...  i  don’t  know  ,  did  you?  it  just  looks  off  ,  okay.  ”  eyes  sweep  the  ink  again  ,  before  realizing  something  was  indeed  missing.  she  removes  herself  entirely  from  him  ,  holding  out  her  own  arm.  “  look!  the  initials  of  my  name  are  a  completely  different  font  ,  from  mine!  we  both  got  cursive  done  &  now  yours  is  suddenly  in  script.  ”  she  shoves  his  arm  back  to  him  furiously  ,  moving  to  stand  off  of  their  bed.  “  i  want  an  explanation  for  it  &  for  why  you  lied.  now.  ”  

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   ♡ ᴇɴᴢᴏ:

         for a long moment, enzo just stared. you can’t afford a place here in boston? how in the hell would he? no job, no money, no background to fall back on… even if he had been interested in finding work, who would have hired him? “you don’t think living here is expensive?” obviously not, given her own admission, but the phrase still baffled him. how much goddamn money did she make? maybe he should have asked her to pay for repairs, too! for now, the room would do. “maybe, but i don’t know anyone around here. haven’t been in boston long enough to make friends.” could have spent his whole life here and still wouldn’t.

         in the end, he discarded any thoughts about the future in favor of following her… advice. cleaning up would do him some good, especially after tonight’s events. “alright, well, here’s hoping he’s not hiding in the bathroom waiting for me.” did it matter? not really. “i’ll let you know if i need anything else, i guess.” a pause, the consideration if he should say anything else… but no, he’d pass that time. after another moment, he adjusted the strap of his backpack and trudged in the direction she had pointed out to him, ready to clean up. maybe well, this time. how long had it been since he had used a shower that hadn’t been part of a public gym? too fucking long.

   teeth  gently  chew  inside  of  her  cheek  &  finger  twirls  wayward  curl  around  itself  ,  she  manages  to  catch  his  eyes.  “  well  ,  enzo  ....  if  you  like  ,  you  could  consider  me  as  one?  i  know  we  literally  just  met  &  under  .....  unusual  circumstances  ,  ”  pauses  to  suck  in  a  breath  ,  “  but  ,  i’d  like  to  consider  you  a  friend.  if  that’s  not  like  ...  really  weird  or  anything  ...  ”  trails  off  with  what  she  hopes  ,  is  an  encouraging  smile.  finally  ,  she  leaves  him  to  shower  in  peace  &  makes  way  to  rummage  through  the  side  dresser  ,  set  aside  for  sebastian.  is  sure  he  won’t  mind  lending  them  to  enzo  for  a  few  nights.  pulling  out  a  pair  of  sweats  &  t-shirt  ,  sets  them  neatly  atop  of  the  bed.  

      once  cleaned  up  ,  lu  heads  for  the  kitchen.  glancing  up  at  the  shuffle  of  feet  entering  the  living  room.  “  did  you  want  food  ,  by  chance?  i  have  pastries  from  this  really  neat  bakery  ,  if  you  like.  they’re  from  this  morning  ....  so  they  aren’t  like  stale  ...”  offers  awkwardly  ,  motioning  him  over  to  her.  “  i’m  making  hot  chocolate  ....  if  you  wanna  help?  or  you  can  just  sleep  or  watch  tv  ,  whatever.  ”    

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   “  why  does  your  tattoo  look  different.  i  swear  it  was  a  couple  of  centimeters  higher.  ”  arm  that’s  draped  over  her  is  tugged  closer  ,  eyes  scrutinizing  the  oddly  fresh  looking  ink.  “  the  ink  looks  more  vibrant  ,  too.  something  you’d  care  to  share?  ”  brow  arcs  daringly  ,  inviting  seth  to  attempt  &  explain  himself  as  she  moves  to  scoot  out  from  space  ,  tucked  against  him.

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   ɴᴏᴠᴀ ​:

                     “   what  can  i  say ?   i  was  feelin'  lonely .   ”

   “  feelin’  lonely  ,  are  you.  &  so  you  decided  to  come  pester  me.  on  my  only  day  off  ,  too.  ”  can’t  have  her  knowing  just  how  wrapped  around  her  fingers  ,  he  is.  so  he  acts  the  part  of  irritation  ,  nodding  for  her  to  step  through.    

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   ♡ᴇɴᴢᴏ​:

         “no, it’s just enzo.” the answer was short and to the point, much like any other he’d given. enzo wasn’t much of a talker on the best of days, and having just had his home destroyed ( not to mention the roar of the music, of the crowds, around them ) had made him less-than-willing to fully engage. “i’d say it’s nice to meet you, but…” a pause. “no, actually, it is pretty nice to meet you. at least you were nicer than the bitch that fucked up my car.” the money for the tow was kinder than he had expected, let alone from a perfect stranger. so why did he feel like something was missing?

         surprising himself, enzo allowed her to take his hand again. normally, he was against physical contact. still, he wasn’t in the mood to question it further—it was good enough that he got somewhere warm and dry to stay for the night. “right. ignore the cat. got it,” he continued, kicking his tattered shoes off by the door. probably a good idea that he took them off, too. when was the last time they’d been properly washed? “um…” he paused, reaching to scratch at the nape of his neck. “no, nothing like that. just can’t afford a place,  you know? been rough finding work and shit.” especially when other things concerned him more. it didn’t matter if he lived in his car when he had a murder to plan.

   it’s  difficult  enough  to  keep  from  cringing  every  time  his  car  is  brought  up  ,  let  alone  each  time  he  thanks  her  for  what  he  believed  ,  was  a  gesture  of  pure  kindness.  “  right  ...  tragic  ....&  you  can’t  afford  a  place?  here  in  boston?  it  isn’t  exactly  ....  expensive  ....”  or  maybe  just  to  her  ,  that  was  the  case.  she  did  originally  come  from  wealthy  parents  &  wasn’t  doing  bad  at  all  ,  making  her  coin.  “  you  should  find  a  roommate?  to  help  with  the  cost?  come  this  way  ,  so  you  can  clean  up.  you  shouldn’t  sleep  being  grimy.  it  isn’t  good  for  your  health.  ”  

      manicured  hand  reaches  for  his  own  again  to  tug  him  along  after  her  ,  making  a  brief  stop  at  her  own  bedroom  ,  to  drop  off  bag  and  cat.  “  my  other  cat  his  hiding  around  somewhere  but  he’s  more  friendly  ,  no  need  to  worry  about  him.  the  guest  restroom  is  at  the  end  of  this  corridor  &  on  the  left.  right  across  is  the  room  you’ll  sleep  in  ......  so  ....  go  &  tidy  up.  i’ll  see  what  i  can  find  for  clothes.  just  uhm  ....  make  yourself  at  home?  you  saw  where  is  my  room  ,  if  you  need  anything.  ”  

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   ᴄᴀᴍɪʟᴀ​:

       “ sorry that i didn’t want to travel very far during my walk of shame — i wanted to maintain some of my dignity ! ” it’s a partial lie on her behalf. the former is true but the latter is merely a poor excuse for her parking spot. “ you could have just waited to berate me like a normal person but instead, you chose to key my very expensive car when i HIGHLY doubt that you’ll be able to cover a third of the damage.” she enjoyed poking and prodding her way under someone else’s skin and something told her that they might have that in common. consider her intrigued. “ listen — ” cuts herself off to admire his work, scanning the scratch for a name. “ kenzie. i’m not gonna get angry because i’m actually pretty sad for you.”  bottom lip pokes out in a pout, feigning pity for the other. “ tell me, ken — what else d’you do all day ? sit around and watch the boring camera footage from your doorbell ? post about unusual neighborhood disturbances on facebook ? shoo away the adorable, stray animals that rummage through your trash bin looking for food ? ” 

   goddamn  ,  she  knew  how  to  run  her  mouth.  kenz  has  got  more  than  half  a  fucking  mind  to  just  continue  keying  her  car.  see  if  he  can  get  the  whole  family  tree  etched  there  ,  by  the  time  she’s  exhausted  herself  from  speaking.  key  even  raises  to  do  just  that  ,  only  pausing  to  ponder  the  slew  of  questions.  “  wow.  wow  wow  wow  ,  w  o  w.  real  quick  ,  you  like  ...  specialize  in  speech  or  debate  ,  or  whatever?  you  just  .....  talk  a  whole  fucking  bunch  ,  dude.  like  no  joke  ,  my  head’s  spinning.  ”  she  sort  of  reminds  him  of  his  older  sister  ,  whenever  she’d  try  lecturing  him.  just  as  bossy  &  just  as  grating.  

      “  i’d  say  proud  ,  is  more  accurate.  i  wasn’t  kidding  when  i  said  this  was  hard  to  do  &  in  cursive  no  less  ....  no  need  to  be  sad.  ”  emphasizes  point  with  another  forceful  scratch  to  her  admittedly  expensive  looking  car.  “  see  what  i  mean.  &  nah  ,  man.  i  get  high  ,  play  beat  saber  or  gta  &  then  if  i’m  feelin  extra  ,  i’ll  play  myself  in  chess.  that’s  sorta  my  daily  routine  ,  thanks  for  asking.  ”    

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   ᴊᴜᴅᴇ​:

flinches   at   the   sound   of   glass   strong   enough   not   to   brake   slam   against   the   granite   ,   thinks   his   face   wouldn’t   be   that   lucky   .    ❝   can   you   stop   fucking   embarrassing   me   ?   everyone’s   looking   .   ❞   frown   deepens   ,   though   jude   isn’t   completely   sure   if   he   is   more   worried   than   angry   or   vice   versa   .    ❝   i   am   not   the   one   playing   games   ,   do   i   need   to   remind   you   who   was   the   one   with   that   lame   ass   app   on   his   phone   ?   fucking   tinder   ,   cris   ?   really   ?   ❞   and   ,   well   ,   if   jude   still   has   grindr   installed   on   his   own   phone   .   .   .   his   boyfriend   doesn’t   need   to   know   that   . 

      scowl  deepens  on  face  at  his  so  called  boyfriend’s  ,  urgent  hushing.  arms  gesture  wildly  around  their  surroundings  as  if  to  remind  him  ,  where  exactly  they  were.  “  embarrassing  you?  it’s  a  fucking  bar  ,  jude.  i  don’t  give  a  fuck  ,  'bout  who’s  being  nosey.    let’s  get  that  shit  straight  right  now.  ”  slaps  wet  rag  onto  table  to  clean  spilt  liquid  &  if  droplets  splattered  onto  the  other  ,  then  oh  well.  

      “  what  business  did  you  have  snoopin  through  my  phone  ,  number  one.  &  next  ,  i  never  fucking  deleted  it.  for  this  reason  exactly  ,  might  i  add.  ”  shoots  back  irritably  ,  leaning  over  bartop  to  be  heard  over  pulsing  music.  “  as  if  you  don’t  have  your  own  favorite  little  hook-up  app  ,  you  must  really  think  i’m  stupid.  knew  i  should’ve  hit  it  &  quit  it  ,  with  your  ass.  you  start  up  all  this  irritating  shit  ,  whenever  we’re  together.  ”  

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   ɴᴀᴛʜᴀɴ​:

 *   /   closed   for   @smckbls​ 

❝   well   ,   here   i   am   ,   what   are   your   other   two   wishes   ?   ❞   left   eye   swiftly   closes   in   a   flirtatious   wink  as   he   steps   closer   to   her   just   enough   to   not   be   completely   invading   her   personal   space   .   ❝   so   .   .   .   fell   for   me   yet   ?   ❞ 

   “  for  one  ,  stop  using  such  cheesy  little  pick  up  lines.  even  if  they  are  rather  endearing  ....”  starts  with  her  own  little  smile  ,  leaning  against  row  of  lockers.  lips  move  to  purse  in  concentration  as  though  to  think  over  the  question.  “  mmhmm  ...  you  know  what  ,  i  have.  you’re  just  too  cute  ,  to  continue  brushing  off.  when  &  where  is  the  first  date  ?  ”  leans  to  bump  shoulders  together  playfully.

[smckbls]

   ʜᴀʀʀʏ​:

   is he good ? no, never.  ❝ defending ? that’s rich ! ❞  a scoff,    eyebrows raising in disbelief. although … it wouldn’t matter    what she said. he’d find a way to disagree.  ❝ i don’t know,    why ARE you always the problem ?  i feel like every other    sentence you come up with stirs the fuckin’ pot. ❞  eyes roll.    ❝ oh sure, & you’re TROUBLE if it had an attitude & body. ❞

   hands  run  over  face  dramatically  exhaustedly  before  gesturing  animatedly  around  empty  space  around  them.  “  &  there  you  go  throwing  questions  at  my  questions  ,  again!  seriously  it’s  a  battle  ,  just  having  a  conversation  with  you.  ”  face  screws  up  at  retort  ,  narrowing  glance  at  him.  “  i’m  not  doing  this  with  you  today  ,  you’re  exhausting.  ”  

[smckbls]

smckbls​:

  replies & starters all coming later today ! tap the ♡ if you’d like a short one-liner & i’ll come to you for muse ♡

[smckbls]

  replies & starters all coming later today ! tap the ♡ if you’d like a short one-liner & i’ll come to you for muse ♡

[smckbls]

   delivered starter for @dcmonic​ ♡

   “  so  can’t  answer  my  messages  or  pick  up  my  calls  ,  but  can  come  get  stupid  at  the  bar.  or  did  you  forget  ,  i  pick  up  extra  shifts  here.  ”  slams  glass  onto  bar  top  with  much  more  force  than  necessary  ,  sliding  it  roughly  across  the  surface.  “  you  act  like  such  a  fuckin’  brat  ,  y’know  that.  getting  real  sick  of  these  games  ,  you  seem  to  love  playin.  ”  

[smckbls]

   starter for the king of payaso’s , @carnassialisms​ ♡

   “  enzo.  that’s  ....  short  for  something?  ”  asks  offhandedly  ,  securing  strap  over  her  shoulder.  her  hand  reaches  for  his  again  as  she  leads  them  out  of  room  &  back  into  the  mass  of  people.  anything  he  tries  telling  her  is  again  overpowered  by  the  music  &  voices  ,  until  they’re  stepping  out  the  building  &  into  private  parking  lot.  “  it’s  lu.  my  name.  &  you  can  sit  in  the  passenger  seat.”  gives  his  hand  a  short  squeeze  before  dropping  it  &  moving  to  claim  spot.  

      feels  so  much  like  second  nature  to  reach  for  his  hand  again  ,  as  she  drags  enzo  along  into  her  living  space.  “  take  off  your  shoes  here  ,  okay.  &  be  careful  of  brina  ,  too.  she  doesn’t  like  people  &  will  claw  you.  ”  lu  moves  to  curl  up  in  swinging  chair  ,  next  to  said  feline  &  eyeing  him  curiously.  “  how  come  you  live  in  your  car?  is  it  more  cozy  for  you?  you  kinda  look  too  tall  to  sleep  in  the  backseat  ......  without  it  being  y’know  ...  comfortable?  ”