Loneliness & Cultural Adjustment: Thoughts from MAT student Rachel Peele
I do not feel that I have experienced loneliness in the literal sense of the word. People have surrounded me since I got here. Most of it has been my host mother’s family. But, I can experience isolation in large group conversations where people are speaking Spanish and I have no idea what they are saying. I am like a mute individual.
Since this is the first time I have been out of the country, one might think that I would be having a hard time. Really, I am not. I am just at peace with the way things are. Strangely enough, oftentimes I do not feel like I am in a different country. This could be because I live closer to the city and not in the rural area. The true “hardest part’ for me is being without Internet, at least for the first few days. I know, this sounds like a “first-world-problem.” But, going back to the fact that this is the first time I have been out of the country, I yearned for time to contact my family and let them know that I was okay. On day four of the trip, I was able to go to Starbucks to use the WiFi (thank you Starbucks!). I was able to delete several unwanted all-student emails and then answer and send emails to my family. That was the second time I was able to email family, and that made me feel better and more at ease. Was it because I was able to send important emails? Or was it because I now know where there is WiFi and how to get there? Who knows? It may be a little bit of both. But, at least I can now focus on language learning at ICADS and preparing for my student-teaching experience at an elementary school.
One thing that has been stressful for me is traveling using public transportation. It is difficult knowing where to catch the correct bus to get me to the area I wish to be. I went with Caroline on a trip to the Poas Volcano. We had to take three different buses to get from our meeting place to the capital, from the capital to another city, and then from that city to the volcano. A part of this also meant navigating the geographic environment of the capital – since there are few street signs to direct you any which-way. Since neither Caroline nor I live in Costa Rica (duh), understanding the geography of the capital city and the central market was stressful. I was lost in which direction I was in relation to other things and where I was supposed to catch a bus going in the correct direction to get back to “my city” when going home from our volcano trip. Eventually, we figured it out and I got back home safely.
All of the related emotional frustrations come from lacking control of the environment in which I am. I do not speak Spanish (though I did learn a great bit from ICADS!), I do not live in Costa Rica, I clearly look like a foreigner, and I am a (short) female. All of these things put me at a disadvantage with regards to having “control” over my environment. I think that is where the stress I have related to traveling comes from and is something I will always experience to some degree. Hopefully, however, with time, I will feel more comfortable in this environment to navigate the city and explore. Time will tell :)
ELL Relevance & World View:
Coming to Costa Rica with very little Spanish language under my belt, I understand my behaviors in the perspective of an ELL student. At the beginning of the trip, I was certainly in that beginning period “silent period.” I didn’t speak very much throughout the day, because I simply could not. It takes me a long time to formulate a reasonably phrased question and the responses that I can give to questions from others is yes, no, or I don’t know. There is not much of a rich conversation that will emerge from my mouth. Now, in my second week of being here, I am in the “early emergent stage,” because I am able to converse more (thank you ICADS for the Spanish language instruction). As a teacher, I can use this experience to sympathize with students. I know that I need people to speak slower to me and use gestures when possible. Knowing that, and understanding the silent period, I will remember that students who are starting out need simpler language, easier words to understand.
Being a new Spanish language learner also makes me think of how people treat others who do not speak English in the United States. I know people who are oftentimes frustrated that those individuals do not learn English before coming to the United States. But, considering that, what about me? I am a native English speaker coming to Costa Rica with little Spanish language acquisition. I am grateful to those who can speak English and grateful to those who treat me kindly (like my host mother and her family). Essentially I am in a similar situation as individuals who live in the United States and do not know English. This will definitely give me perspective when coming back to the United States and interacting with individuals who do not speak English (or speak very little). I am a patient person in general, but I understand the importance of patience with individuals who are new at speaking another language. It really is not fair to be angry or annoyed with non-English speakers in the United States. But, those feelings may also relate to the politics of having English language learners in the United States – those of which I do not explore.