I can sabotage me by myself.

Mackenzie Smith. 30. Graphic Designer.

[chloebennetsource]

[smith-mackenzie]

chloebennetsource‌:

January 29th, 2019 - Chloe Bennet Insta Story

[smith-mackenzie]

[para-moreover]

Visit Original Link

Paramore’s Tiny Desk Concert performance of Fake Happy.

[korraavaatu]

[smith-mackenzie]

korraavaatu‌:

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. ➤ Favorite Character Caps

⤷ d a i s y

[smith-mackenzie]

iannovak‌:

“I’m so glad I look like the kind of guy who does shady and illegal shit. I mean that’s a huge compliment right there, thank you.” Shaking his head, Ian pushed himself off of the desk and walked closer, his arm brushing against her shoulder as he reached out and pushed a few keys on the keyboard. “You realize you’re sitting here making coffee cup sleeves and saying an accountant is boring, right? It’s like saying you’d rather drink iced coffee over hot coffee…both very much the same just different temperatures.” Ian really wasn’t sure why he was defending himself in this moment but he felt that he needed to say something so that she didn’t think he was kind of bum who sold street drugs. “I’m a receptionist by the way…in a veterinarian’s office. And my side hobbies aren’t illegal…too bad you’ll never know what they are with that mama’s boy comment. There’s nothing wrong with that by the way, it’s perfectly respectable to love your mom.” A light chuckle escapes him before he looks down at her. “So this best friend of yours…what does he see in you anyway? Asking so that I know how to make some in the future.”

“I think part of it is the scru-...” Mackenzie paused, “Wait...you’re a receptionist? At a vet’s office? Okay, now you’re just dickin’ with me.” She snorted, but felt him brush up against her shoulder causing her to feel things she shouldn’t have been feeling, at least not with Dog Boy, “Guess what? I don’t drink coffee, so your metaphor is about as useful as an 8oz sleeve on a 20oz cup. Meaning it doesn’t work.” Okay, it did actually work, and she knew it, but her pride was getting in the way. And plus, who was this guy? Seriously. Coming in...making her feel...“My comment was apparently the truth since you’re obviously butt-hurt about the entire thing.” He was so infuriating, yet so hot. “I don’t even fucking know, but I’m glad he sees something, because going through life lonely leads you on a one way street to Suicide City.” A part of Mack had been joking, but her past hadn’t been one to laugh about. Fortunately, he didn’t know a damn thing about her.

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt‌:

“Losing your virginity to a woman named Bertha in a local jail cell….what a fucking story to have. I’m starting to think this whole situation would be a gift from me at this point. Why in the hell would I stew in guilt?” Pulling the seat belt on, Colton started the car but didn’t make a move to get out of the parking lot. Instead he looked over at his best friend with a sigh. “I’m actually sure, yes. It’s your turn, I picked the last ten times I think. I’m tired of making these very important adult decisions and if I have to this time you’re going to be paying for a very expensive hibachi meal. So…is that what you want to do?” 

“You’re an asshole.” Mack sulked for a minute before leaning towards Colton and punching him hard in the arm. Straightening back up, she sighed loudly, “Fine. But you know I can’t afford hibachi. Hey, I know! Whatever happened to that birthday meal at Longhorn that you promised me months ago?” She looked over to her best friend waiting for an answer, “I recall the last time we planned to go there, someone stuffed his face with popcorn and two large drinks...”

[smith-mackenzie]

iannovak:

“How many friends do you have?” Crossing his arms over his chest, Ian shook his head at her. “You think I have friends with this aggressive personality? He’s the only one who puts up with me ans my snark. I don’t know why, maybe he’s a masochist.” His smile spreads like butter when she looks at him, the dark haired male almost laughing at the idea of such a stressful yoga business. “Nah, not my business but I’ve learned that the crazier the advertisement the more people want to check out the product. Maybe that’s why a lot of your customers are crazy. Besides, I don’t really have time for my own business at the moment. Just thought my mom might enjoy the business.”

“How many friends do I have? One best friend. His name is Colton, and he’s enough.” She continued what she was doing on the computer, her eyes watching the screen. “I’ve heard hanging around with masochists can be a dangerous thing, and if this isn’t your business, then what do you do? Actually scratch that. Do I want to know what you do? You’re probably like an accountant or something. Something super boring and on the weekends and late at night you do illegal shit, like fighting cocks and hanging out in strip clubs, which isn’t illegal, but still.” She was so glad her boss and the few other people she worked with weren’t hanging around at the moment, because she would certainly get fired for the way she was talking right now. “Oh, so besides the illegal activities at night, you’re a mama’s boy? Makes sense. Does she know about your side hobbies?”

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt:

“You jumping out of a car would just cause more paperwork for the cop. And then once I tell him the whole thing was caused because you wanted to get away from the smell he’s definitely going to throw you in a cell for the night. Is that what you want? To be assaulted in jail by a handsome woman named Bertha?”Giving her a pointed look Colton unlocks his car and opens the door before leaning against it to ponder the choices. “Alright, food sounds good. But since you brought it up your indecisive ass is picking where we go.” He ticks his tongue out at her before getting into his seat to start the car.

Mack thought over the entire situation as Colton explained the whole thing to her. Finally, after some good contemplation, she replied, “Well, I mean as long as Bertha doesn’t have the clap or the ria, then sure, why the hell not. At least I won’t die a virgin. And then you can stew in guilt for the rest of your life for making the decision to tell the cop the truth, instead of lying, while Bertha will have made me her official bitch for the evening.” She opened the door to Colton’s car and tossed her stuff in the back, “Hey, thanks for picking me up from work by the way. And we both know that if you make me pick, we’re never going to eat. Are you sure you want to leave this important decision in my indecisive little hands?” She let him think on that, while she climbed in the passengers side and buckled up, shutting the door when she was ready.

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt:

“Yea, I don’t know where I come up with this shit, regular prince charming over here.” He leans back in his chair as she makes her next comment, his eyes once again going to her ducks littering the area and stopping on one of the princess ones. Oh, look, it was his princess coming to complete the fairy tale. “Thanks for the idea, I’ll be sure to do that next time I’m particularly gassy.” She didn’t have to tell him twice, Colton grabbing his things and heading towards the door almost as soon as she said they were good to go. “Where to for the graphics genius? What does this Friday night have in store for us? Another horror movie marathon or are we feeling particularly adventurous and wanting to go to the bowling alley?”

“You do that, and I’m going to jump out of the car and say you kidnapped me when the cops come.” She wouldn’t really do that to him. She just liked to talk big sometimes and imagine her life being more exciting than it was at the moment. Of course to say her life was boring would be a lie. There had been plenty of drama and stress in her life. Finally being able to breathe had been a relief, but she would have done everything all over again if it had meant spending more time with her mom. “Hmmm, take me to the stars, Prince Charming...” She quickly shut down her computer and grabbed her things, getting a small pleasure knowing that the guy who had caused her to stay late would get to squirm and wait until Monday. Heading towards the door, she shut off the lights giving a once over to make sure everything was turned off. Once she was outside and locked up, she turned her attention back to her best friend, “Why not both? Or food and then bowling alley? I’m starving.”

[smith-mackenzie]

iannovak:

“Of course they aren’t….” He said this slowly, eyebrows raised as he leaned against her desk while crossing his arms. He wasn’t sure if she had just not gotten the sarcasm in his words or if she had and was ignoring it but either way he was a little taken aback. “Oh come on now, he’s already warned me about messing with his work buddies. If he thinks I’m messing with you he’s going to drop me as a friend and then I’m going to be friendless. Do you want to be responsible for me having no social life and dying an old man? That’s where I’m headed.” As he says this he can’t help but grin to show the girl that he was absolutely kidding with her, exaggerating his words with hand gestures as he does. Another question that had him raising his eyebrows at her but this time with a mock scowl on his face. “Do I look like the type of guy who goes to raves? It’s for my yoga class….”

“This guy?” She glanced back to her co-worker with narrowed eyes. Turning back around, she continued working on what she had previously been doing. “Surely you have more friends than just him...” She adjusted things that needed to be changed and moved around other things on her electronic canvas. Every now and then, Mack shifted her eyes to look at the guy standing next to her. He wasn’t bad looking, so that was a plus, and whatever he was wearing actually smelled good. Stopping, she glanced up at him, “I thought yoga was supposed to be calm and meditating. This sounds like yoga in an oven being terrorized by nightmarish things like going to the dentist. Don’t tell me you own this place, and it actually has business.”

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt:

He gives her a sly smile before giving in after only a second, shaking his head as he looks down at some of the random objects on her desk. “Yea, you’re right. I wouldn’t be able to keep a clear conscience if I just left you here to rot and make stupid ass graphics all day.” As much shit as Colton talked he probably wouldn’t be able to do that to most people, most of all Mack. She was the only person in his life besides his parents that he completely and truly cared for. He would take care of her in a heartbeat. Though she did have her dumb moments….”Seriously? You decided to test it on a windy day? I feel no sympathy for you at all.” Tapping his finger on one of her rubber ducks that littered the cubical area she worked in, he sighs. “If you don’t want to believe me that’s on you. One day you will know though and I will be right there telling you I told you so as you die of toxic fumes. Are you almost done? This place is getting boring.”

“Awwww, you always say the sweetest things. Be still my beating heart, you fucking asshole.” She looked up at him with a sweet, yet smarmy grin. Her grin dropped though, and she was back to work, ignoring him, just focused on getting her stuff done so they could leave. “As long as I’m not stuck in a car with you and the windows are locked, I think I’ll be fine.” She could remember times when her dad had done that to her just because he could. Luckily, he would unlock the child proof windows in the car and give her the opportunity to breathe. “And....sent! This guy better like this. Now, hurry up and grab your shit. I want to get out of here, before he replies and wants changes. He sent it in at the last minute on a Friday. He can wait until Monday for his revisions.” She quickly shut off her computer and grabbed her stuff, standing up and waiting on Colton.

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt:

“Because I didn’t buy a ticket. Also, who said I would help you if I ever won the lottery? I could leave you still sitting at this desk doing this stupid shit.” And yet even as he said the words Colton knew neither of them would believe it. If he ever became fortunate enough to win so much money he would give her as much as she wanted in a heartbeat, no questions asked. “Why in the hell would you even think that was a good idea? I wish I had seen this, I would have died laughing.” Glancing up at the screen, Colt barely had time to make a face at the so called art before she was challenging him and his flatulence. “You have no idea what I can do. My farts are silent….but they’re fucking deadly. I swear, something is wrong with my digestive track. I’ve been told it smells like something crawled up there and died.”

Mackenzie looked at Colton and feigned a look of shock and horror on her face, “You wouldn’t dare!” Her job wasn’t all that bad on most days, but it had gotten redundant for her, and she needed something to spice up things. To spice up life. Her mind had been eating her alive, and she was doing anything she could just to stay positive on moving forward. On surviving another day. Thankfully, she had Colt in her life to keep her going. “Because the fucking package said to test the pepper spray in a Styrofoam cup. I didn’t know a gust of wind was going to come back and blow it in my face!” She could still feel the burn in her throat, even to this day. Shaking her head, she looked the artwork over, before saving it and preparing the email to send the proof to her last minute customer, “Silent, but violent, huh? Well, until one of your deadly farts suffocates me, I’m calling myself champ by the moving of the chairs that you made earlier. You couldn’t even stay in my vicinity for very long...”

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt:

“Reese’s pimps are like magical genies, you got like a one in a million chance of finding one. I was just fortunate in hitting the jackpot with that girl and her having a bit of a crush on me.” He shrugs, going back to playing with the gummies in his hand as she went back to her work before he’s once again confused. “What the fuck do you mean by the wind?” Her touch had him glaring at her as he took his seat next to her again, almost considering holding his breath in case it smelled but not particularly feeling the desire to run out of air. “No, I can’t. You’re disgusting, it’s no wonder I’m your only friend. How would you feel if I farted on you?”

“Well if you’re so friggin’ lucky, why didn’t you win the Powerball jackpot the other night, Luck of the Irish. Then I wouldn’t still be sitting at this desk making shitty looking graphics for asshole people.” She huffed in frustration knowing good and well that was like asking for a money tree, and those just didn’t exist. At least not yet anyways. “The wind is a cruel mistress when you’re testing pepper spray, my friend. Don’t ever try it when she’s blowing softly in your face...” She was being cryptic all for the sake of fucking with Colt. Looking back at the computer, she sighed, “I think this piece of shit masterpiece is almost done.” His fart comment got her attention though, “Bring it. I grew up with a dad and a brother who liked to fart near me and in my face. Besides, how much fire power do you really think a gummy snake has?” She kept her eyes trained on him.

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt:

Furrowing his eyebrows, Colton raises the head of the gummy snake to stare at his friend, wiggling it slightly as he spoke for the inanimate object. “How dare you? I’m a real boy.” And yet his mock offense turned into amusement as she started going on about the Reese’s story, the boy raising his hands in defense before she decided to hall off and hit him. “It was before I knew you, whore. Like years before I knew you. I think it was in high school actually. Don’t get all insane in the membrane just because I had the good fortune of having a Reese’s pimp in my lifetime.” Shaking his head, he leans forwards and gives her a look of total confusion. “I’m not sure who the hell has been pranking you over the years but who in their right mind would use hot grease or pepper spray for a harmless prank? And I’m not even going to comment on the cliche banana peel gag. You think so little of me, Mack, I’m slightly upset.” He didn’t even bother countering her next comment but instead smirked at how defensive she seemed to get about the whole love thing. That is until she farted. Scrunching up his nose, Colton shook his head and went so far as to stand from his seat to move further away from her. “That was completely uncalled for.”

Mack rolled her eyes at the gummy snake as she continued to work, just wanting to be done so they could both leave and actually do something fun. “Dammit, I want a Reese’s pimp.” She sighed heavily. “Why am I never cool enough to have someone feed my addiction to chocolate and peanut butter?” She glanced over to her friend with sad eyes, hoping he would get the hint. It didn’t take long for her to stop looking at him as something ugly on Google caught her eye. “The wind...” She very clearly recalled the moment in her mind when she had been testing out a canister of pepper spray with her mom and the wind had blown the defensive spray back into her face leaving her gagging, “Oh quit taking things so personal.” She laid a tiny balled up fist into the side of his arm to show she was joking with him. But when she saw the reaction he returned to her after the massive fart she let out, she started to belly laugh; tears filling her eyes to the brim, “What’s the matter, Buddy? Can’t handle a little leftover gas from that bean and cheese burrito I had for lunch today?”

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt:

“I’m pretty sure the package says it only has twenty-four grams of sugar. You should apologize for making it seem far more dangerous than it actually is.” He gives her a look as he rolled his eyes at her, bringing the gummy back to his own lips. “I’ve had enough Reese’s Cups to last me a lifetime. Did I not tell you about the time my friend worked at a gas station and he brought over like three cases of Reese’s because the boxes were damaged and they couldn’t sell it anymore? I had my fair share back then.” He almost looked offended with her next line of comments, Colt once again leaning back in his chair and throwing her a look. “What makes you think my prank would go so tragically wrong? I wouldn’t be trying to hurt you, shit.” Watching the exchange and Mack do her thing with the computer program he hears another scoff flow from his lips, this time mixed with a snort if anything. This graphics was looking worse and worse by the second to no fault of her own. “Nah, just gotta ninja this shit. Get a VPN address and go incognito on this asshole. Make a new email that has nothing to do with either of us and then send it from that. Seems like a lot of work though and I don’t know if it would be worth it when I could just call Chris a bitch to his face and make you happy. Not that it’s my goal to make you happy….” He mocks her by putting a hand over his chest and giving her a sweet look. “Well, shit, aren’t you adorable. Tell me, when did you fall in love with me? Those are some pretty strong vibes coming from you.”

“What? No. It’s a fucking gummy snake. It’s not real. I’m not apologizing.” She narrowed her eyes watching him get defensive over his gummy snake thing. It was the Reese’s thing that took her by surprise, “Shut the front door. Someone brought you three cases of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and you didn’t share?!?” She quit working and glared at Colt, “How dare you!” His offense to her reply about the hospital seemed to make her grin, “Accidents happen, Colt. You can’t control hot grease or pepper spray or slipping on a banana peel. Besides, I think not sharing three cases of Reese’s is enough of a payback.” She let out her own huff of frustration and resumed what she was doing; her goal to make the graphic look as tacky as possible, “Yeah...no. Don’t waste your time on this asshole. You just wasted like a minute of precious oxygen explaining all of that. I’m sure I’ll get to hear you call another grown ass man a bitch some time.” Going back to Google, she began to do more searching. It was his change of voice that made her stop what she was doing and look over at him, “Fall...in love...with you? What? You’re like...my brother...Seriously, would I fart in front of the guy I was falling in love with?” She let out a loud gassy fart that she had been holding in, “Now, if I only had the balls to do that when other people were here.” She grinned at her accomplishment before going back to work.

[smith-mackenzie]

colton-hunt:

“And yet sometimes I’m the walking epitome of irony as well.” He shrugs at her, taking a bite of a gummy candy he had just been opening as the two continued their banter and then pointing the sweet treat at her. “Um, no. Nice try, but my payback has to be something I caused. I can’t help if you trip over your own damn feet on most days, Mack, that’s all you. This payback will probably be in the form of an epic prank that I have yet to plan.” Though he did smile as he thought back on the memory. To this day he usually got a good chuckle whenever it was brought up. “You should give me his email, I’ll do it from my phone right now. Um, excuse me sir, you don’t know me but I thought I should tell you that you’re an atrocious human being and you should cut off contact with anyone you don’t already know. You’ll be doing the world a favor. Bitch.” Biting the inside of his bottom lip, Colt sat back in his chair again and nodded, not even bothering to look around the empty office. “So I’m not the only one with no life. Good to know. I guess this is why we’re such good friends, we can only stand each other….and that’s on a good day.”

“Irony...right. And don’t point that thing in my face. It’s like ten pounds of sugar mixed with high fructose corn syrup. If you’re going to temp me with anything like that, it better be a damn bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.” Payback. Why did he have to pay her back anyways? Wasn’t watching her stumble around and be her typical doofy self enough? It was like the world was often paying her back for all the times she had been an asshole. “Great. Now, I’m gonna have to start sleeping with one eye open. Fuck me.” She rolled her eyes, “If this payback ensues any trips to the hospital, just know...you suck.” Finding a chain, she transferred it over to Photoshop, “This looks douchey enough.” Clicking, pressing keys, and moving the mouse around, she resized the image to fit what she was doing. “Dude, as much as I want to say yes to that, I need my job. And this is the 21st century. There’s always a way to trace shit back to people. But hearing you call another man a bitch...that would pretty much end this week on a high note...” She gave it a second thought, before shrugging off the idea, “Well, all I can say is thank goodness for you, because otherwise...I don’t think I’d survive living.”

[smith-mackenzie]