Locked, Loaded, and Looking

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie‌:

“You’re an asshole.” Mack sulked for a minute before leaning towards Colton and punching him hard in the arm. Straightening back up, she sighed loudly, “Fine. But you know I can’t afford hibachi. Hey, I know! Whatever happened to that birthday meal at Longhorn that you promised me months ago?” She looked over to her best friend waiting for an answer, “I recall the last time we planned to go there, someone stuffed his face with popcorn and two large drinks…”

“I thought we agreed that hitting was a no go. That shit hurts.” Colton rubbed his arm where she had punched him before sighing and putting the car in reverse. “And how many times before that did I try and take you and you turned me down? I’m not saying I’m not taking you, just saying that you’re as much at fault for it taking this long as I am, if not more.” He gives her a pointed look before he pulls out of the parking lot and heading towards Longhorn. “You’re lucky I keep that shit in my wallet at all times or you wouldn’t be getting a free meal right now.” The two made it to the restaurant where they enjoyed her belated birthday meal before spending the day getting into ridiculous adventures with each other.

[colton-hunt]

millicentparker‌:

Millie anxiously nodded, “Mmhmm…I get it. That…special friend.” She didn’t know what she was saying or why she was saying it. She had already put her foot in her mouth for the day, and it wasn’t even 8 am yet. Finishing up what she was doing, she moved to her desk and avoided eye contact with Colton, “Well, kids will be kids, and I’m sure if Jasmine thinks you guys would make it a cute couple, then it must totally be true.” She glanced up at him quickly with an awkward smile, before looking back down and flipping through a text book on her desk. Any chance she had with the man had probably shot right out the door, down the hall, and out the front of the building never to return.

“Oh, no not...sp-” He cut himself off, feeling as if the air was being sucked from the room with all the awkward taking up the space. “I um...think I’m gonna go.” One hand was out of his pockets as he pointed a thumb towards the door to indicate he was leaving. He walked towards the door, stopping to place a kiss on Jasmine’s forehead, before looking back up at Millie. “I guess I’ll see you later when I picker her up. Uh, don’t let Suzy cause you too much stress.” With a small wave he walked out the door while shaking his head, not sure how he felt about leaving his little sister there with someone who...didn’t seem all that stable.

[colton-hunt]

millicentparker‌:

Millie had turned back around to grab something off of her desk, when she caught sight of Colton’s crotch. Quickly diverting her eyes, she cleared her throat and went back to looking for the notebook on her desk, “Well, they can’t all be angels I guess.” She side-eyed little Suzy and resumed writing on the board, “So this girl…Is it serious?” Why had she just asked that. It was forward, and she barely new Colton aside from seeing him in the mornings on occasion and sometimes around town. Her face was turning red, and she didn’t plan on turning back around until the fire burning in her cheeks had disappeared. The question was out there though, and she couldn’t take it back. Maybe that was a lesson she needed to teach for the day. How when you say things out loud without thinking, they usually can’t be taken back…Miss Parker could really use an easy class after that one…She continued to write in silence, but her mind wouldn’t shut up.

Colton swallowed hard with the question as he wasn’t sure how to even answer that. How do you say to someone that the girl was just his best friend but he’d wished it could be more? “Uh...no, she’s just a friend. I’ve known her like..six years maybe. She’s kind of the only one who will listen most of the time.” Why hadn’t he stopped at ‘she’s just a friend?’ Licking his lips softly, the man could feel the energy in the room turn awkward as he Jasmine giggle softly, no doubt laughing because she knew how he felt about Mack. He wasn’t sure if he should leave at this point, hands still constricting those pants while he watched the woman write the lesson on the board. “Jasmine just likes to think something else is going on. She likes Mack I guess...you know, logic is off but heart is in the right place, I guess. I’m talking too much, I’m sorry.”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie‌:

Mack thought over the entire situation as Colton explained the whole thing to her. Finally, after some good contemplation, she replied, “Well, I mean as long as Bertha doesn’t have the clap or the ria, then sure, why the hell not. At least I won’t die a virgin. And then you can stew in guilt for the rest of your life for making the decision to tell the cop the truth, instead of lying, while Bertha will have made me her official bitch for the evening.” She opened the door to Colton’s car and tossed her stuff in the back, “Hey, thanks for picking me up from work by the way. And we both know that if you make me pick, we’re never going to eat. Are you sure you want to leave this important decision in my indecisive little hands?” She let him think on that, while she climbed in the passengers side and buckled up, shutting the door when she was ready.

“Losing your virginity to a woman named Bertha in a local jail cell....what a fucking story to have. I’m starting to think this whole situation would be a gift from me at this point. Why in the hell would I stew in guilt?” Pulling the seat belt on, Colton started the car but didn’t make a move to get out of the parking lot. Instead he looked over at his best friend with a sigh. “I’m actually sure, yes. It’s your turn, I picked the last ten times I think. I’m tired of making these very important adult decisions and if I have to this time you’re going to be paying for a very expensive hibachi meal. So...is that what you want to do?” 

[colton-hunt]

millicentparker:

Millie hadn’t expected Colton to be near by when she had spouted off about one of the kids. Lately, they had been driving her crazier than usual. To say becoming an elementary school teacher had been her dream was a complete lie. It was just something she had kind of fallen into to please her parents when she was younger. Now, here she was, lonely most days except for the multitude of wine bottles that kept her company at home, “No, you don’t have to call…I mean, unless you want to…” She paused for a moment before shrugging the idea off, “And yeah. curious little Suzy over there having a laugh at her old maid of a teacher’s expense.” She forced a rather overbearing grin at the child, before turning her attention back on Colton, “You know, if more kids could be like your little sister, the world would be a much better place.” Millie grabbed a marker off of her desk and started writing the day’s first lesson on the board.

The comment about wanting to call her had Colton placing his hands in his front pockets, the slacks constricting without him noticing while a wave of discomfort ran through him. Jasmine’s teacher had always been a bit flirty with him and while he was flattered he wasn’t sure it was appropriate. It wasn’t just the fact that Millie was Jasmine’s teacher or that she was a little over the top...no, it was also the fact that Colton was pretty sure he was at least infatuated with his best friend. Glancing over at the other child, he let a smile pull at his lips as he shakes his head. “Man, if you could see her at home. She’s no angel..in fact I’m pretty sure she’s the one who keeps telling my mom I’m with all these girls when I’m usually only with one. And then my mom calls and starts questioning me and it turns into some big thing...I swear she does it on purpose. He shoots Jasmine a playful look as she giggles, the little girl taking her seat next to her friend with such a guilty yet amused expression that he knew it was true. “Little pest...be good today, Miss Parker could use an easy class, okay?”

[colton-hunt]

millicentparker:

“If one more prepubescent child points out another line on my face, I’m going to scream. Why yes, Suzy…I am older than your Mommy. And guess what? One day she’ll be as old as me and so.will.you. And people ask me why I drink…”

It wasn’t often that Colton had to drop off his sister at school and when he did he usually had to do it a little earlier than usual due to his work schedule. Her teacher was a little eccentric, he knew, and it wasn’t unusual for him to walk in holding Jasmine’s hand and hear the woman say something a little out there. But today was the first time he’d heard a complaint about the children themselves. He almost laughed...almost. Clearing his throat, Colton let go of Jasmine’s hand before looking up to Miss Parker. “Um...I feel like I have to start calling you when I drop her off in the mornings.”Jasmine had already run off to put her things away and Colton could only stare at Millie, concern in his eyes. “You uh...you alright?”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

“You do that, and I’m going to jump out of the car and say you kidnapped me when the cops come.” She wouldn’t really do that to him. She just liked to talk big sometimes and imagine her life being more exciting than it was at the moment. Of course to say her life was boring would be a lie. There had been plenty of drama and stress in her life. Finally being able to breathe had been a relief, but she would have done everything all over again if it had meant spending more time with her mom. “Hmmm, take me to the stars, Prince Charming…” She quickly shut down her computer and grabbed her things, getting a small pleasure knowing that the guy who had caused her to stay late would get to squirm and wait until Monday. Heading towards the door, she shut off the lights giving a once over to make sure everything was turned off. Once she was outside and locked up, she turned her attention back to her best friend, “Why not both? Or food and then bowling alley? I’m starving.”

“You jumping out of a car would just cause more paperwork for the cop. And then once I tell him the whole thing was caused because you wanted to get away from the smell he’s definitely going to throw you in a cell for the night. Is that what you want? To be assaulted in jail by a handsome woman named Bertha?”Giving her a pointed look Colton unlocks his car and opens the door before leaning against it to ponder the choices. “Alright, food sounds good. But since you brought it up your indecisive ass is picking where we go.” He ticks his tongue out at her before getting into his seat to start the car.

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

“Awwww, you always say the sweetest things. Be still my beating heart, you fucking asshole.” She looked up at him with a sweet, yet smarmy grin. Her grin dropped though, and she was back to work, ignoring him, just focused on getting her stuff done so they could leave. “As long as I’m not stuck in a car with you and the windows are locked, I think I’ll be fine.” She could remember times when her dad had done that to her just because he could. Luckily, he would unlock the child proof windows in the car and give her the opportunity to breathe. “And….sent! This guy better like this. Now, hurry up and grab your shit. I want to get out of here, before he replies and wants changes. He sent it in at the last minute on a Friday. He can wait until Monday for his revisions.” She quickly shut off her computer and grabbed her stuff, standing up and waiting on Colton.

“Yea, I don’t know where I come up with this shit, regular prince charming over here.” He leans back in his chair as she makes her next comment, his eyes once again going to her ducks littering the area and stopping on one of the princess ones. Oh, look, it was his princess coming to complete the fairy tale. “Thanks for the idea, I’ll be sure to do that next time I’m particularly gassy.” She didn’t have to tell him twice, Colton grabbing his things and heading towards the door almost as soon as she said they were good to go. “Where to for the graphics genius? What does this Friday night have in store for us? Another horror movie marathon or are we feeling particularly adventurous and wanting to go to the bowling alley?”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

Mackenzie looked at Colton and feigned a look of shock and horror on her face, “You wouldn’t dare!” Her job wasn’t all that bad on most days, but it had gotten redundant for her, and she needed something to spice up things. To spice up life. Her mind had been eating her alive, and she was doing anything she could just to stay positive on moving forward. On surviving another day. Thankfully, she had Colt in her life to keep her going. “Because the fucking package said to test the pepper spray in a Styrofoam cup. I didn’t know a gust of wind was going to come back and blow it in my face!” She could still feel the burn in her throat, even to this day. Shaking her head, she looked the artwork over, before saving it and preparing the email to send the proof to her last minute customer, “Silent, but violent, huh? Well, until one of your deadly farts suffocates me, I’m calling myself champ by the moving of the chairs that you made earlier. You couldn’t even stay in my vicinity for very long…”

He gives her a sly smile before giving in after only a second, shaking his head as he looks down at some of the random objects on her desk. “Yea, you’re right. I wouldn’t be able to keep a clear conscience if I just left you here to rot and make stupid ass graphics all day.” As much shit as Colton talked he probably wouldn’t be able to do that to most people, most of all Mack. She was the only person in his life besides his parents that he completely and truly cared for. He would take care of her in a heartbeat. Though she did have her dumb moments....”Seriously? You decided to test it on a windy day? I feel no sympathy for you at all.” Tapping his finger on one of her rubber ducks that littered the cubical area she worked in, he sighs. “If you don’t want to believe me that’s on you. One day you will know though and I will be right there telling you I told you so as you die of toxic fumes. Are you almost done? This place is getting boring.”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

“Well if you’re so friggin’ lucky, why didn’t you win the Powerball jackpot the other night, Luck of the Irish. Then I wouldn’t still be sitting at this desk making shitty looking graphics for asshole people.” She huffed in frustration knowing good and well that was like asking for a money tree, and those just didn’t exist. At least not yet anyways. “The wind is a cruel mistress when you’re testing pepper spray, my friend. Don’t ever try it when she’s blowing softly in your face…” She was being cryptic all for the sake of fucking with Colt. Looking back at the computer, she sighed, “I think this piece of shit masterpiece is almost done.” His fart comment got her attention though, “Bring it. I grew up with a dad and a brother who liked to fart near me and in my face. Besides, how much fire power do you really think a gummy snake has?” She kept her eyes trained on him.

“Because I didn’t buy a ticket. Also, who said I would help you if I ever won the lottery? I could leave you still sitting at this desk doing this stupid shit.” And yet even as he said the words Colton knew neither of them would believe it. If he ever became fortunate enough to win so much money he would give her as much as she wanted in a heartbeat, no questions asked. “Why in the hell would you even think that was a good idea? I wish I had seen this, I would have died laughing.” Glancing up at the screen, Colt barely had time to make a face at the so called art before she was challenging him and his flatulence. “You have no idea what I can do. My farts are silent....but they’re fucking deadly. I swear, something is wrong with my digestive track. I’ve been told it smells like something crawled up there and died.”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

Mack rolled her eyes at the gummy snake as she continued to work, just wanting to be done so they could both leave and actually do something fun. “Dammit, I want a Reese’s pimp.” She sighed heavily. “Why am I never cool enough to have someone feed my addiction to chocolate and peanut butter?” She glanced over to her friend with sad eyes, hoping he would get the hint. It didn’t take long for her to stop looking at him as something ugly on Google caught her eye. “The wind…” She very clearly recalled the moment in her mind when she had been testing out a canister of pepper spray with her mom and the wind had blown the defensive spray back into her face leaving her gagging, “Oh quit taking things so personal.” She laid a tiny balled up fist into the side of his arm to show she was joking with him. But when she saw the reaction he returned to her after the massive fart she let out, she started to belly laugh; tears filling her eyes to the brim, “What’s the matter, Buddy? Can’t handle a little leftover gas from that bean and cheese burrito I had for lunch today?”

“Reese’s pimps are like magical genies, you got like a one in a million chance of finding one. I was just fortunate in hitting the jackpot with that girl and her having a bit of a crush on me.” He shrugs, going back to playing with the gummies in his hand as she went back to her work before he’s once again confused. “What the fuck do you mean by the wind?” Her touch had him glaring at her as he took his seat next to her again, almost considering holding his breath in case it smelled but not particularly feeling the desire to run out of air. “No, I can’t. You’re disgusting, it’s no wonder I’m your only friend. How would you feel if I farted on you?”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

“What? No. It’s a fucking gummy snake. It’s not real. I’m not apologizing.” She narrowed her eyes watching him get defensive over his gummy snake thing. It was the Reese’s thing that took her by surprise, “Shut the front door. Someone brought you three cases of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and you didn’t share?!?” She quit working and glared at Colt, “How dare you!” His offense to her reply about the hospital seemed to make her grin, “Accidents happen, Colt. You can’t control hot grease or pepper spray or slipping on a banana peel. Besides, I think not sharing three cases of Reese’s is enough of a payback.” She let out her own huff of frustration and resumed what she was doing; her goal to make the graphic look as tacky as possible, “Yeah…no. Don’t waste your time on this asshole. You just wasted like a minute of precious oxygen explaining all of that. I’m sure I’ll get to hear you call another grown ass man a bitch some time.” Going back to Google, she began to do more searching. It was his change of voice that made her stop what she was doing and look over at him, “Fall…in love…with you? What? You’re like…my brother…Seriously, would I fart in front of the guy I was falling in love with?” She let out a loud gassy fart that she had been holding in, “Now, if I only had the balls to do that when other people were here.” She grinned at her accomplishment before going back to work.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Colton raises the head of the gummy snake to stare at his friend, wiggling it slightly as he spoke for the inanimate object. “How dare you? I’m a real boy.” And yet his mock offense turned into amusement as she started going on about the Reese’s story, the boy raising his hands in defense before she decided to hall off and hit him. “It was before I knew you, whore. Like years before I knew you. I think it was in high school actually. Don’t get all insane in the membrane just because I had the good fortune of having a Reese’s pimp in my lifetime.” Shaking his head, he leans forwards and gives her a look of total confusion. “I’m not sure who the hell has been pranking you over the years but who in their right mind would use hot grease or pepper spray for a harmless prank? And I’m not even going to comment on the cliche banana peel gag. You think so little of me, Mack, I’m slightly upset.” He didn’t even bother countering her next comment but instead smirked at how defensive she seemed to get about the whole love thing. That is until she farted. Scrunching up his nose, Colton shook his head and went so far as to stand from his seat to move further away from her. “That was completely uncalled for.”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

“Irony…right. And don’t point that thing in my face. It’s like ten pounds of sugar mixed with high fructose corn syrup. If you’re going to temp me with anything like that, it better be a damn bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.” Payback. Why did he have to pay her back anyways? Wasn’t watching her stumble around and be her typical doofy self enough? It was like the world was often paying her back for all the times she had been an asshole. “Great. Now, I’m gonna have to start sleeping with one eye open. Fuck me.” She rolled her eyes, “If this payback ensues any trips to the hospital, just know…you suck.” Finding a chain, she transferred it over to Photoshop, “This looks douchey enough.” Clicking, pressing keys, and moving the mouse around, she resized the image to fit what she was doing. “Dude, as much as I want to say yes to that, I need my job. And this is the 21st century. There’s always a way to trace shit back to people. But hearing you call another man a bitch…that would pretty much end this week on a high note…” She gave it a second thought, before shrugging off the idea, “Well, all I can say is thank goodness for you, because otherwise…I don’t think I’d survive living.”

“I’m pretty sure the package says it only has twenty-four grams of sugar. You should apologize for making it seem far more dangerous than it actually is.” He gives her a look as he rolled his eyes at her, bringing the gummy back to his own lips. “I’ve had enough Reese’s Cups to last me a lifetime. Did I not tell you about the time my friend worked at a gas station and he brought over like three cases of Reese’s because the boxes were damaged and they couldn’t sell it anymore? I had my fair share back then.” He almost looked offended with her next line of comments, Colt once again leaning back in his chair and throwing her a look. “What makes you think my prank would go so tragically wrong? I wouldn’t be trying to hurt you, shit.” Watching the exchange and Mack do her thing with the computer program he hears another scoff flow from his lips, this time mixed with a snort if anything. This graphics was looking worse and worse by the second to no fault of her own. “Nah, just gotta ninja this shit. Get a VPN address and go incognito on this asshole. Make a new email that has nothing to do with either of us and then send it from that. Seems like a lot of work though and I don’t know if it would be worth it when I could just call Chris a bitch to his face and make you happy. Not that it’s my goal to make you happy....” He mocks her by putting a hand over his chest and giving her a sweet look. “Well, shit, aren’t you adorable. Tell me, when did you fall in love with me? Those are some pretty strong vibes coming from you.”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

“Well you are the walking epitome of a cliche sometimes, aren’t you, Colt?” She playfully nudged him. “I thought you laughing at me after the whole ice skating debacle was payback enough…I mean karma did pay me back with the gracefulness of a baby giraffe.” She could clearly recall smacking against the glass face first and being in a daze while Colton laughed harder than she had ever seen him laugh before. She looked back at the mess on the screen, “Yeah, and if I told him that, I’d get fired. I need my job.” She switched to google and searched for pictures of gold chains, “I mean…yeah, I guess you’re right. You are sitting next to me at my job watching me work…” Mack glanced around the office, “while everyone else left three hours ago…” She sighed at how pathetic it was still being stuck at work.

“And yet sometimes I’m the walking epitome of irony as well.” He shrugs at her, taking a bite of a gummy candy he had just been opening as the two continued their banter and then pointing the sweet treat at her. “Um, no. Nice try, but my payback has to be something I caused. I can’t help if you trip over your own damn feet on most days, Mack, that’s all you. This payback will probably be in the form of an epic prank that I have yet to plan.” Though he did smile as he thought back on the memory. To this day he usually got a good chuckle whenever it was brought up. “You should give me his email, I’ll do it from my phone right now. Um, excuse me sir, you don’t know me but I thought I should tell you that you’re an atrocious human being and you should cut off contact with anyone you don’t already know. You’ll be doing the world a favor. Bitch.” Biting the inside of his bottom lip, Colt sat back in his chair again and nodded, not even bothering to look around the empty office. “So I’m not the only one with no life. Good to know. I guess this is why we’re such good friends, we can only stand each other....and that’s on a good day.”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

“Well as long as you’re not this guy, then you’re good.” Mack snorted, “Yeah…” She bit at her bottom lip, “That still makes me laugh…” Looking back at the screen, she started to arrange stuff on a Photoshop document, “He wants some random shit with cats and gold chains. I don’t even fucking know, and he won’t stop emailing me. The impatient fucker. So what are you even doing here? It’s a Friday afternoon. Do you not have plans or work or…a life?”

“Be myself, cliche advice but advice I intend to follow.” Colton rolled his eyes slightly at her little laugh but couldn’t help but smile at the memory as well. “I still intend on payback for that.” Sitting up in his chair, he looks at the screen and scrunches up his face. “The hell? This is too tacky. You should e-mail him back and tell him he needs better taste and a sense of time management if he’s in such a hurry.” Eyes drifting back to Mack, he scoffs slightly. “In the many years that we’ve known each other since when have I ever had a life? Is that even a real question?”

[colton-hunt]

smith-mackenzie:

“The next time someone asks me to mock up an album cover for them this late on a Friday afternoon, I’m going to fucking throw something.”

“I fully support this as long as that something isn’t being thrown at my head. Remember the 2014 fiasco with the hot sauce? I still have nightmares.” Colt raises his eyebrows at the girl sitting next to him before grabbing a random item from her desk and starting to play with it. He had never been one to be able to sit still for very long. “What do they want, anyway?”

[fuckyesbrettdalton]

@imbrettdalton: Just one of those #rednose days. Why? Who nose #noseson (x)