well, here they are. @smokesforjokes-blog - Tumblr Blog

Focused, but lack there of. I just want to know what exactly it is I’m dreaming of… Times are hard and I dont know all I know is that I can barely float.

Drowing always seemed the worst way to die.

Red, white and doomed.

I'm anxious and abrasive and a little insecure. I try to keep it cool like the other side of my pillow but im not and its too hot outside for that houte look that looks faker than the inside of some titties at the strip club where these dudes paying for some love while these ladies they gonna own you, but she's lonely like they say starved for attention from men who truly love them for more than the one thing and don't forget that this life aint easy but better to turn a trick than to sleep on the streets... Especially when she got them babies to feed don't forget it - life aint easy and we all want a little love that ain't come from the club or the streets but that's earned in the neatest of fashion; reality. But back to me I just want a little more than what I am that freedom again that probably aint my friend. Cause none of em are, lets just face it I aint go no money, no car, no drugs only hugs and a heart full of love - and a bangin' body to boot but you know it only gets you so far cause you know that life ain't easy. Fuck it, i know I'm cheesy and live life a little breezy but hey its okay forget it. No worries I'm good man. One way or another at least I'm my biggest fan.... Sometimes. Most times. Its okay I know that life ain't easy and no ones gonna make it out alive so im just here for the ride or die cause dont you know? Life aint easy and it all ends one way or another.

#2018 #somewhat #bullshit #hiphop #rap #idk #what #i #just #wrote #but #hereyougo #smokesforjokes #letsgo #nbb💙💛

Now I know why I drink... Its the obly thing that truly puts me to sleep

When I look at my friends success, I am proud of them. But on the inside, I scowel at them. I want to be like them. I want that happiness, that freedom... That I will never know again. For I have become my own best friend and even still... I am my own worst enemy. I act surprised when I sit and cry at this very real, imaginary enemy. And I hate myself for it.

Focused, but lack there of. I just want to know what exactly it is I'm dreaming of... Times are hard and I dont know all I know is that I can barely float.

Drowing always seemed the worst way to die.

monachopsis-people

mingdliu-deactivated20210422

Maybe we find new things when we lose old things like when we lose pieces of ourselves, we discover something else. Maybe we leave these traces all over our scattered past so someone else can find it and we move on to find the parts we didn’t know existed. They say you don’t know who you are until you get your heart broken, but maybe with a heart split wide open, it leaves you bare and exposed, to allow more particles in. So these remnants of our souls continue on to live in other people even if they have long ago been lost to us. And that becomes the proof of our existence. — Ming D. Liu

Everone says they love you

But they don't truly mean it.

shadowsrunning

i-suck-sorry

writingllama-deactivated2020012

“You feel like soft sheets and hot coffee. Timber floors and lazy mornings. Like sun rays and droopy eyes. You feel like home.”

— Home / Unrequited Love

I remember

What it was like, long long ago. To have dreams, and to have goals. The feeling of ambition and the feeling of home. Now all I feel is this hole I cannot fill... From the bottom of a bottle, to any pill... A pipe doesn't fix it, and hugs don't cut it... Blood cannot run, and I cant just say fuck it.

I'm stuck, and lost and homesick for a place that more and more truly feels like it doesnt exist.

Is this it? What life was meant for?

Cause if so I'm done with it.

#life #love #lost #help #fairytales #dont #exist #anditfeelslikeidonteither